(no subject)
So my dad is hanging out in the hospital for the fourth time in the past two months...Part of me feels so desensitized to that fact, largely because of how often my parents frequent the hospital with their various health problems. And part of me is trying not to believe it out of fear and anger. Back at the beginning of May, my dad had a heart attack while I was at Focus Week in the UP. That meant I couldn't rush home to support my mom or to see him in the hospital. It also meant I could pretend that nothing was happening. By the time I got back in Lansing after Focus Week, he already had a handful of stents put in and was home in his bed, so in a way, it was almost as if nothing had happened.
I faced with the reality of it all when I came into St. Clair for Kristin's wedding shower, only to arrive on Thursday night to find out he had gone to the hospital again, complaining of chest pain. Seeing him in that hospital bed was hard. Really hard. It's not like I haven't seen him in one before; he has had some sort of surgery every year since I was in grade school--be it knee surgery, neck surgery, gall bladder surgery. But this seemed so much more serious. And it made me flashback to when my Papa, my dad's father, was in and out of hospitals prior to his passing away in '98.
Anyway, I left for Lansing that Sunday, and the next day, he checked out. THEN, I came in for Father's Day a couple Sundays ago, only to call my mom to tell her we would be over in a half hour and find out that he had gone to the hospital again for chest pain. Once again, I headed back to Lansing, and the following day he returned home after they put the last couple stents in for his heart. He had a check up earlier this week, and the doctor gave him the A-OK to return to his normal lifestyle.
Right.
So last night I get home from the Angels and Airwaves/Taking Back Sunday concert around 12:30, and listen to my voicemail (I had accidently left my phone at home on the charger):
Message #1: Mother-in-law updating about upcoming weekend.
Message #2: My mother telling me my dad's in the hospital again!!!
WHAT IS GOING ON!!!???
I don't want to admit it, but I know my parents are getting older, and with old age comes increased health problems. But frankly, this is too much for me. I keep thinking to myself, "This is a joke, right?" And it's not, and that's making me mad. Funny thing is, Steve and I are supposed to drive into town on Sunday to my aunt's for a party, which my parents were going to be at. Maybe my dad's not having health problems. Maybe he just likes having people come visit him in the hospital.
Right.
So since I've come to the conclusion that my dad doesn't just like visiting the hospital and that he's not faking this, I'm trying to accept the fact that something is honestly wrong with him--and it's definitely heart related. Truthfully, this makes sense. My dad has a very difficult time controlling his emotions and his reactions to stressful situations. Consequently, his temper often flares and he typically overreacts (hard to believe of an Italian man, eh?). Instead of filtering through his emotions and avoiding reacting to situations, he usually thinks he has to handle any problems on his own. Very unhealthy--and something I expect more out of women than men given our emotional nature. And as much as I hate to refer to the Sopranos once more with regard to my family, he has the anxiety issues that Tony is dealing with (hopefully, without the pressures of mob like that cause Tony's anxiety attacks). Therefore, I think I have a cure for my dad: counseling and anger management. It would help tremendously if he could learn to sort through his baggage and how to control his emotions.
Now that that's solved, I can move onto my next dilemma: figuring out how to motivate myself to get through the end of the work day...