I've resorted to constant pop culture criticism
Dude, the L word is... beyond words.
I just watched the new episode, and I was BLOWN AWAY.
Now you might be thinking "blown away by the incredibleness of it's awesome power, deputay_jane?"
Oh you would be wrong. So very wrong. What the fuck is wrong with the people who write this show?? Are they on crack? Did they somehow fall into a space-time vortex that no one else knows about, where you can just make shit up that is really far-fetched and forced, then pass it off as original, entertaining, television?
I kept hearing so much about how this season was going to be so different from the last one. Because, you know, the last one sucked semi-hairy Max-chin (which do resemble balls in a way). I didn't necessarily believe that season 4 would be better, I just had resigned myself to the idea that it couldn't be any worse.
Lo and behold! I bring you... possibly the worst show on television!! Seriously, if the show didn't have naked women appearing gratuitously every 2.5 minutes and supposedly provocative make-out scenes, no one would be watching and it would have been canceled. I suppose also that throwing in a few lesbians here and there somehow provokes loyalty to spew out of viewers. Maybe we should sue Ilene Chaiken for abusing and taking advantage of an oppressed minority demographic, though I get the feeling that too many lesbians are still her willing lapdogs because she flashes them some hot actress's tits every now and then.
So here's the real meat and potatoes. What was wrong with this episode? Oh, I'll tell you.
1. Ourchart (DOTCOM!!!!)
Did I just watch that? Did I just SEE that? No, really, I just can't wrap my head around the fact that I just witnessed something so horrific, it has to be a first in the history of television. In the middle of the fucking episode, the actresses quit acting, and started pitching a commercial for a new social networking website that has been created by affiliates of the show. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! This was the most unnatural thing I've seen in my entire life. It was nothing short of "Oh gee Alice, that sounds great. But how do I get an account on this networking site with so many great features?"
"Oh it's so easy, I'll show you, in just two simple steps!"
"Wow Alice, you're right! This sure is easy! I never knew social networking could be so much gosh darn fun!"
Isn't there some kind of law in place by the FCC that prohibits unauthorized advertisements within a show? I think that there should be. Whatever happened to the good old days when they would just show you a short clip at the end of something and say "if you enjoyed the music from today's episode, you can download it at blah blah..."?? Or what-not. Do they just not do that for Showtime, so the shows have to come up with their own advertising and work it into the dialogue? Because I've never seen it on Weeds.
2. "Abortion" clinic.
You know, I have no problem with people who have a stance (pro-life or pro-choice) on abortion. I have no problem if they want to tell their stance to the newspaper, or talk about it on a daytime talk show, or abuse their celebrity status to influence the public just because they wised up to some of the morally objectionable abortion practices in this country. Of course, that is what happens when you have a bunch of poorly educated, self-indulgent hollywood trustfund babies living inside of a bubble, and when they learn of any kind of injustice in society they suddenly are eager to tell us about it, as if we weren't aware already.
The L word has been a hub for unrealistic, centralized Los Angeles privileged lifestyles to play out in drama for its duration. It takes 10 seconds to see when watching an episode that the people who believe this show is realistic and accurately depicting everyday lesbians are delusional. And even though it might not be intended to portray the average American lesbian, the reviews show that some people still perceive it that way, which is sad.
I digress.
Apparently someone within the L word writing staff recently discovered that there are some abortion clinics in this country where women who are seeking abortions are unknowingly presented with material that portrays abortions unfavorably (I'm trying to be as unbiased as possible but it's extremely difficult to use neutral language here). It would appear, from watching the latest episode, that said writer's gut reaction was so negative towards this information, that they decided to set up a contrived and awkwardly staged situation that would allow for their opinion to be screamed by a main character. Not only was Kit's reaction so redundantly absurd that it was practically laughable, but it was entirely unbelievable. Her character has been a poised, graceful, and strong woman who has acted with intelligence and dignity even in the most difficult of situations. Now I know that she is pregnant, but come on, did they really have to reduce her to something so insulting? A strained political statement in a purely fabricated scenario that was invented merely for the sole purpose of MAKING a political statement?? <-- I don't think I could elaborate to say it better than I did right there.
3. Cokehead Shane
This was just obnoxious. I think we get the picture: Shane is self-destructive. We don't need to see constant updates every few minutes that she is doing something detrimental. The point would have been clear enough with a simple 2-3 minute segment showing her snorting some coke and hanging around that Arquette. If they really wanted to make it extreme, they could have cast David Arquette to be her new lover.
...and if you are just now joining us, Buckwheat has been shot! Also! Shane is doing coke and acting recklessly, in case you haven't been watching... here are some shots of her doing coke again! Oh now she's drinking! Now she's going to the liquor store for more booze! Oh, wait, she's having another beer...
Seriously, I've had more fun going on my own pitiful 4-day binges after losing all hope in life and attempting to die by drug overdose or alcohol poisoning. It was painful to watch - but for all the wrong reasons.
And finally, other-annoying-crap-on-this-downhill-show-that-I-rip-on-in-three-sentences-or-less!
- The Bette and Tina predicament that was written into the script involved something about custody over a baby. But the REAL predicament here is: why can't they portray a lesbian couple capable of having a healthy relationship? Good thing Jane Lynch was around to offer some weak redemption (too little, too late).
- I think later on in the season (of course, I won't be watching to see it happen), the French girl should pretend like she is computer illiterate and doesn't know how to sign on to OURCHARTDOTCOMMMMMMM!!!!! But her true motives will be that no girl except manatee-loving Jenny could ever be into her, with her 2-dimensional, stereotypical "frenchness" that has no more depth than the croissant-eating puppet mimes at the beginning of Team America. Maybe they are going to pull an Arrested Development on us, and reveal that she is a "MRF" who has unwittingly duped Jenny with promises of sex that have been altogether non-consensual in a moral sense.
- Finally, Max. He proved to be the single best thing about this new episode, which is horrifying when you consider the alternatives (last season). The boss trying to set Max up with his daughter was the only storyline worth pursuing in this whole scrapheap.
I just watched the new episode, and I was BLOWN AWAY.
Now you might be thinking "blown away by the incredibleness of it's awesome power, deputay_jane?"
Oh you would be wrong. So very wrong. What the fuck is wrong with the people who write this show?? Are they on crack? Did they somehow fall into a space-time vortex that no one else knows about, where you can just make shit up that is really far-fetched and forced, then pass it off as original, entertaining, television?
I kept hearing so much about how this season was going to be so different from the last one. Because, you know, the last one sucked semi-hairy Max-chin (which do resemble balls in a way). I didn't necessarily believe that season 4 would be better, I just had resigned myself to the idea that it couldn't be any worse.
Lo and behold! I bring you... possibly the worst show on television!! Seriously, if the show didn't have naked women appearing gratuitously every 2.5 minutes and supposedly provocative make-out scenes, no one would be watching and it would have been canceled. I suppose also that throwing in a few lesbians here and there somehow provokes loyalty to spew out of viewers. Maybe we should sue Ilene Chaiken for abusing and taking advantage of an oppressed minority demographic, though I get the feeling that too many lesbians are still her willing lapdogs because she flashes them some hot actress's tits every now and then.
So here's the real meat and potatoes. What was wrong with this episode? Oh, I'll tell you.
1. Ourchart (DOTCOM!!!!)
Did I just watch that? Did I just SEE that? No, really, I just can't wrap my head around the fact that I just witnessed something so horrific, it has to be a first in the history of television. In the middle of the fucking episode, the actresses quit acting, and started pitching a commercial for a new social networking website that has been created by affiliates of the show. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! This was the most unnatural thing I've seen in my entire life. It was nothing short of "Oh gee Alice, that sounds great. But how do I get an account on this networking site with so many great features?"
"Oh it's so easy, I'll show you, in just two simple steps!"
"Wow Alice, you're right! This sure is easy! I never knew social networking could be so much gosh darn fun!"
Isn't there some kind of law in place by the FCC that prohibits unauthorized advertisements within a show? I think that there should be. Whatever happened to the good old days when they would just show you a short clip at the end of something and say "if you enjoyed the music from today's episode, you can download it at blah blah..."?? Or what-not. Do they just not do that for Showtime, so the shows have to come up with their own advertising and work it into the dialogue? Because I've never seen it on Weeds.
2. "Abortion" clinic.
You know, I have no problem with people who have a stance (pro-life or pro-choice) on abortion. I have no problem if they want to tell their stance to the newspaper, or talk about it on a daytime talk show, or abuse their celebrity status to influence the public just because they wised up to some of the morally objectionable abortion practices in this country. Of course, that is what happens when you have a bunch of poorly educated, self-indulgent hollywood trustfund babies living inside of a bubble, and when they learn of any kind of injustice in society they suddenly are eager to tell us about it, as if we weren't aware already.
The L word has been a hub for unrealistic, centralized Los Angeles privileged lifestyles to play out in drama for its duration. It takes 10 seconds to see when watching an episode that the people who believe this show is realistic and accurately depicting everyday lesbians are delusional. And even though it might not be intended to portray the average American lesbian, the reviews show that some people still perceive it that way, which is sad.
I digress.
Apparently someone within the L word writing staff recently discovered that there are some abortion clinics in this country where women who are seeking abortions are unknowingly presented with material that portrays abortions unfavorably (I'm trying to be as unbiased as possible but it's extremely difficult to use neutral language here). It would appear, from watching the latest episode, that said writer's gut reaction was so negative towards this information, that they decided to set up a contrived and awkwardly staged situation that would allow for their opinion to be screamed by a main character. Not only was Kit's reaction so redundantly absurd that it was practically laughable, but it was entirely unbelievable. Her character has been a poised, graceful, and strong woman who has acted with intelligence and dignity even in the most difficult of situations. Now I know that she is pregnant, but come on, did they really have to reduce her to something so insulting? A strained political statement in a purely fabricated scenario that was invented merely for the sole purpose of MAKING a political statement?? <-- I don't think I could elaborate to say it better than I did right there.
3. Cokehead Shane
This was just obnoxious. I think we get the picture: Shane is self-destructive. We don't need to see constant updates every few minutes that she is doing something detrimental. The point would have been clear enough with a simple 2-3 minute segment showing her snorting some coke and hanging around that Arquette. If they really wanted to make it extreme, they could have cast David Arquette to be her new lover.
...and if you are just now joining us, Buckwheat has been shot! Also! Shane is doing coke and acting recklessly, in case you haven't been watching... here are some shots of her doing coke again! Oh now she's drinking! Now she's going to the liquor store for more booze! Oh, wait, she's having another beer...
Seriously, I've had more fun going on my own pitiful 4-day binges after losing all hope in life and attempting to die by drug overdose or alcohol poisoning. It was painful to watch - but for all the wrong reasons.
And finally, other-annoying-crap-on-this-downhill-show-that-I-rip-on-in-three-sentences-or-less!
- The Bette and Tina predicament that was written into the script involved something about custody over a baby. But the REAL predicament here is: why can't they portray a lesbian couple capable of having a healthy relationship? Good thing Jane Lynch was around to offer some weak redemption (too little, too late).
- I think later on in the season (of course, I won't be watching to see it happen), the French girl should pretend like she is computer illiterate and doesn't know how to sign on to OURCHARTDOTCOMMMMMMM!!!!! But her true motives will be that no girl except manatee-loving Jenny could ever be into her, with her 2-dimensional, stereotypical "frenchness" that has no more depth than the croissant-eating puppet mimes at the beginning of Team America. Maybe they are going to pull an Arrested Development on us, and reveal that she is a "MRF" who has unwittingly duped Jenny with promises of sex that have been altogether non-consensual in a moral sense.
- Finally, Max. He proved to be the single best thing about this new episode, which is horrifying when you consider the alternatives (last season). The boss trying to set Max up with his daughter was the only storyline worth pursuing in this whole scrapheap.