This is the sort of thing LJ is better for
I've just had a minor lightbulb moment inspired by a Tumblr text post about fanfic, but Tumblr isn't really the place to engage in nuanced discussion. Yes pressure's on I'm expecting nuanced discussing here guys. The text post said:
but i really wish people in fandom would be more honest.
‘i hate this pairing because it deviates from my head canon that my OTP are in love.’
‘i hate this female character because, like all women in patriarchal societies, i struggle with internalised misogyny and it’s easier for me to hate her than to accept this canonical pairing that’s different from my OTP’ (and/or ‘because i’ve been raised to believe this female character exhibits traits that are bad in women but good in men’).
‘i want to write a fic about the break up of a canonical pairing that demonises the female character because i want the male character to remain the Good Guy so the other character in my OTP can justifiably be in love with him. this story makes me feel good. it comforts me.’
see also: liking problematic things does not make you a bad person.
‘I want to read fic where a male character is feminized, infantilized, and treated like a cherished possession, because I struggle every single day to make my way in the world as a woman and an adult, and it’s hard, and it’s tiring. And I want to do it. And I will do it. But there’s still that part of me, uneradicated, that has internalized a tiny seed of a misguided idea that it would be easier, better - less of a struggle - for a woman to stay home barefoot and pregnant, while someone takes care of her. I don’t want this for myself. I know that nothing about that, in real life, is easy. I’m uncomfortable enough with it that I have to displace the actual explicit gender out of it in order to read it. But this is what I want to read.’
I would just like to say that ever since I started phrasing things in this way, it’s helped me enormously to get the fuck over what other people thought of me and my writing - and what I thought of my writing and my kinks.
Here’s one: “I want to read fic that centers on unequal relationships, including BDSM and dubious/non consent stories. But Bad Shit has happened to me in real life before, so I’m more comfortable reading and writing about a same-sex couple. That way I don’t have to worry about societal inequalities, or feel like my gender is under attack like I do when even glancing at 50 Shades and its ilk."
I've read several interesting posts about why predominantly women read/create slash, and they always make me vaguely uncomfortable that I couldn't really say why I like it, or why I seek out the particular pairings that I do. I definitely relate to the last 2 above - happily no Bad Shit has happened to me in that sense, but I do feel like reading power play fic between a same sex couple is safer, because you can take it for granted that they are equal. No one's really in a dominant position over someone else, which would be deeply unsexy - they just do this because they like it.
For example, I liked Eagle fanfic because it takes this fucked up (but kinky) master/slave relationship and MAKES THEM WAIT TILL THEY ARE TOTAL EQUALS (ie the slave is freed, they decide to be poor epic farming buddies together or whatever) before they even touch each other! And if they aren't total equals, then the one who is "dominant" sexually is the one who has less power in real life. The whole point of the fandom (and indeed canon although I assume there was no sex in canon) seems to be exploring the concept of how people can find a balance of equality, and I find that very interesting. But i think it maybe makes me uncomfortable too, because "I have to displace the actual explicit gender out of it in order to read it" oh yes, hello, me too!
And due South is a great example of police partnership representing a relationship of equals, that lots of buddy cop tropes have. They bicker like an old married couple, spend more time together than with anyone else, etc etc - it's like an idealised relationship because nobody has to be the wife/woman and take an "inferior" role. They're both dudes so we can take for granted that they're equal: any male/female character traits one or the other exhibits are just that, character traits. I think I also liked Fraser with Inspector Thatcher because, being a woman but ALSO his superior officer, they were perfect equals (that was how my brain translated it anyway - I know in RL that doesn't necessarily compute but in the world of fiction, it did).
I've also freaked myself out over-analysing Fraser in handcuffs - am I identifying with him because of his submissive/female traits? And then projecting this thing that does it for me onto a male character because that's safer? He's a man, so he isn't really submissive? Or if he is, there's nothing shameful in it, because he's a man and it's just pretend/for fun and in his real life he kicks ass and achieves things? Do I just really want to jump his bones because I am incredibly attracted to Paul Gross? We just don't know.
And that hurt/comfort thing! I really think I might be reading it for the reason above where they refer to a character being treated as a cherished possession! I don't actually enjoy the idea of other people suffering, I'm pretty clear on that in my own mind, so I'm going there for the comfort, right? And then additionally, being a wife and mother of small children, I actually spend all my time looking after other people so is that why I sometimes want to read about a character being looked after?
Am I dealing with the fact that Spanish Husband earns more than me and can't pick up his own socks and that I worry we are sliding into 1950s unequal gender roles by taking refuge in perfect fictional relationships between 2 men so I get the guarantee they are both perfect equals, even if they play at not being?
Tl;dr - I am confuse. Help me rationalise being turned on by Fraser in handcuffs.
Thank you kindly.