Comments | derek_bliss: 67th Hunt [Action] (Early Morning of the 17th)

derek_bliss

67th Hunt [Action] (Early Morning of the 17th)

Jan 16, 2011 22:26

It's cold, out here on the north eastern side of House 55's porch. He's been sitting here for a while, ever since that god awful crawl under his skin that starts now when the sun is getting ready to rise started it's daily sensation. It was like having someone repeatedly walk over your grave...or tiny ants slowly, carefully, tracking just under ( Read more... )

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[Action] i_speak_softly January 22 2011, 01:41:14 UTC

[He doesn't want to listen to this now. Leo keeps waking him up at all hours to ask questions that don't even make sense, and his energy and emotional resources are stretched too thin to handle Raph with any kind of sympathy.

He stands abruptly, taking himself and his blanket into the back room. If you care to follow, he'll be at his desk, tinkering with odd pieces, trying to make something fit together.]

[Action] honorthecode February 16 2011, 03:29:37 UTC

You shouldn't be drinking in the first place....but it's good that you're not drunk.

[Nice avoiding Raph]

I'm starting to get that feeling from both you and Don. [And it's not a feeling he likes. He's trying to deal with it. He can't change the fact that his brothers have changed. It's just hard.] You two have been here almost a year and while I was here for six months I don't remember it.

I want to understand what happened and what made you change. I hate feeling like I barely know you two. At the same time I feel like you're my brothers.

[Most people can probably shrug it off and deal with it. But Leo's not most people. His mind won't let it settle to be that simple.]

[Action] meanandgreen February 16 2011, 03:46:00 UTC

[Raph sighs and spreads his hands across the grain of the table, palm-down, feeling the scars in the wood. Time and moments passed.

Raph knows exactly why Leo feels this way. And he knows exactly why he feels so empty, so detached when he should be happy his brother's come back to them.

They've moved on. They've learned to live without him. They've become completely different people in a completely different world. The wound where Leo used to belong has long since started to close. Now it's only a question of whether or not there's room for him to fit back in again. And Raph can't decide if he's ready to open back up again. Not after what he's been through. Not after hurting for so long in his brothers' absence. He was finally beginning to feel like a whole person again. It's like the minute he feels comfortable, the world shifts under his feet.

He's getting tired of falling.]There's no one thing, Leo. Nothin' except life's different here, and me and Don've learned to make it on our own. Our own way, without you or Splinter tryin ( ... )

[Action] honorthecode February 16 2011, 04:49:12 UTC

[Leo watches his brother, before closing his eyes and ducking his head a bit. There was just turmoil with in him. There's a part of him that's glad to see they got along so well without him and Splinter. Another that says this shouldn't be right, it's not how it was back home.

He's silent for a moment.]

[Action] meanandgreen February 16 2011, 20:07:45 UTC

[Raph doesn't lift his eyes, only stares at his empty cereal bowl. The silence stretches on to the tick of a cheap plastic clock.

Leo's not the only one struggling to keep his thoughts in order. And while people would say tact isn't Raph's most shining attribute, in these rare moments, he can do what's expected of him. Sit back and piece together the thoughts that swim through his head on a rip tide, try to put a name to emotion usually so wild and intangible, it usually forbids words all together. Only action.

But all his actions so far have had everything to do with pushing away. And not just Leo, either.

Still, he's not sure if he's ready to take the leap just yet. Not until Leo proves he can handle this. Not until he's Leo again, and not just some lost stranger.]

So now what?

[Just tell him you have a plan.]

[Action] honorthecode February 16 2011, 21:24:31 UTC

[But pushing away never did any thing, other then make things worse for all of them. His leader side was kicking in, making his thoughts rational again even if one of his head aches was starting to form.

'So now what?' The question pushed it's way into his thoughts.]

Now...I think we all have some more adjusting to do. [It wasn't much of a plan, but it was still a plan. They had to get used to him being around once again, because who knows when he'd be leaving again, if ever. He had to get used to this new independence his brothers had. He can do this. Things change and never remain the same.]

I hope at some point we can be brothers again. [Never mind the whole leader thing, as that wasn't going to work at the moment.]

[Action] meanandgreen February 16 2011, 21:32:25 UTC

[He sighs. Thinking it is one thing. Saying it out loud just makes him feel that much more selfish. Leo is his brother. He just doesn't fit in the place he used to.]

Don't be stupid.

[Because it is. Thinking this way is just fucking stupid and he hates it.]

[Action] honorthecode February 16 2011, 22:19:26 UTC

I'm not. But I can see that we're not as close as we were.

[Leo gives his own sigh. Stupid it might be, but it was also some truth. Raph was right though, they were still brothers.]

But...we are still brothers. [That would never change and it was, at least some comfort.]

[Action] meanandgreen February 16 2011, 22:52:38 UTC

[As easy as it was to be a jerk to Leo before, Raph just can't do it when he's like this. He can't stand seeing any of his brothers in pain.

He lifts his eyes again, frowning at Leo thoughtfully.]

We'll figure something out.

[Action] honorthecode February 16 2011, 23:53:17 UTC

Definitely figure out something.

[He nods. They had to make it work and they would. It wasn't the first time that he was gone from them. Though a year was much longer then just two to three months.

Leo was distracted from his thoughts, by the water telling him it was ready. He turned to grab a cup, and a tea bag.]

[Action] meanandgreen February 17 2011, 00:02:14 UTC

[Raph silently pours himself another bowl of cereal. Not because he's all that hungry, but because he wants an excuse to enjoy his brother's company. As much friction as Leo's arrival caused, the bare bones of it is he just really missed his brother. He's tired of feeling lonely.]

[Action] honorthecode February 17 2011, 00:47:20 UTC

[Leo fixed up the tea. It probably wasn't what he usually drank at home, but he wasn't going to be picky about it. He moved to pull out a chair and sit down. He was far too up to even try going back to sleep now.

He was glad for the some what comfortable silence. It was helping that headache to fade.]

[Action] meanandgreen February 17 2011, 00:50:39 UTC

So I was thinkin' you and me could hit the shops later. You know, get some stuff to make it feel more like home. [He takes another mouthful of cereal, chews, watching Leo expectantly.]

Re: [Action] honorthecode February 17 2011, 01:44:45 UTC

[He took a sip of his tea, before he looks to Raph at the suggestion. He lowers the cup and considers it for a bit, before he nods.]

We can do that..yeah. I would be nice to have some stuff to make it feel like home.

[Action] meanandgreen February 17 2011, 01:50:21 UTC

Yeah. It's like scavenging only most of it ain't useless crap.

[Action] honorthecode February 17 2011, 02:14:05 UTC

[He nods again]

How much money do we have? [Yeah there was food and all, but for all he knew, they stocked up before he got there.]

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