(no subject)
Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
The wind would whisper and I'd think of you
And all the tears you cried, that called my name
And when you needed me I came through
I paint a picture of the days gone by
When love went blind and you would make me see
I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes
So that I knew that you were there for me
Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you
We spent the summer with the top rolled down
Wished ever after would be like this
You said I love you babe, without a sound
I said I'd give my life for just one kiss
I'd live for your smile and die for your kiss
Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you
We've had our share of hard times
But that's the price we paid
And through it all we kept the promise that we made
I swear you'll never be lonely
Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
Washed away a dream of you
But nothing else could ever take you away
'Cause you'll always be my dream come true
Oh my darling, I love you
Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you
So I downloaded that song like.. today. It's sort of a metal ballad, I guess. It's a real nice song if you sit back and listen to it. I have a few songs like that on my playlist, but most of my music isn't so sappy. Really metal ballads are the only sappy love songs I can listen to without ending up taking it off of my playlist. I don't know why, but that just always happens. I'm watching ER on TV. I don't know why, because I really don't like ER at all. I'm about to turn it. I missed Inuyasha, which I wanted to see, because Inuyasha is my favorite cartoon. Well, either Inuyasha, Trigun, Yu Yu Hakusho or the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Those were all badass cartoons. I think maybe they all rank in the same area as far as what kind of cartoons I like. I just now changed it to Trigun, to avoid watching ER. In my omg so cool nonconformity omg I always call that show "err" like the sound you make when you screw up. Because I think the network screwed up when they decided trash like ER was okay to air on television. You know, I think "I Remember You" is my favorite song, now. I really like it. I like the words, I like the tune, Sebastian Bach's voice kicks unprecedented ass.. Skid Row isn't my favorite band, though. My favorite band is either Guns n' Roses or the Offspring. I remember the first time I heard a GnR song when I was really little. My mom was listening to it. My mom is a metal head. Her favorite bands are AC/DC, KISS, and Guns n' Roses. My mom is an interesting mom. For those of you that have seen her, you probably think she's a really quiet nice little lady who would probably make a good little country grandmother in twenty years or so. But what you don't know is who my mom used to be before my siblings and I. you see, before we came along my mom and dad were pretty interesting teenagers. my dad always drove sports cars (70something roadrunner, 68 camaro, etc) and my mom road a motorcycle. yeah. a motorcycle. I kid you not. and then my dad when to engineering school to become a mechanic and my mom dropped out of college a couple hours short of a degree in accounting (which she's going to work for the bank again soon, and she's really good, so I think she'll get hired... plus all her friends still work in the bank so they'll be able to get her back in. my mom is a number goddess though, so it shouldn't be a problem for her to prove her worth she used to be the only teller designated to move sums of $10,000 or more in the bank she worked at... which apparently she did regularly) and then they had kids and their life has slowed to a crawl. hopefully now that my sister is gone, I'm almost gone, and my brother is going to highschool, they'll be able to have fun again. I already convinced my mom to get green glittery makeup (that's my dad's favorite) and stuff and they look a lot happier together, and that's nice. am I a good kid for pushing my mom past doubt? I do that sort of thing to my dad also. there's a problem with the van, right? he was like "well I don't think we can fix it" and I was like "yeah we can" and he argued with me and finally we went out there and did it, and he was so proud of me and himself for going out there and fixing the transmission and such. I think that makes me a good kid. I dunno. my family has calmed down a whole lot since the ninth grade. I used to get beat all the time for almost everything I did, yelled at all the time, kicked out of the house at midnight and such, and told I wasn't allowed to eat dinner with the family, and grounded for no reason.. and then we moved out here and it wa slike the pressure dissolved, and now we're a happy family again. I hope it stays this way, I like a happy family. although soon, my granddaddy is going to die. everybody is talking about it, nobody wants it to happen, but my mom and her brothers are already underhandedly fighting for his stuff. my uncle already took the motor home and the 69 'stang (which haha joke's on him, he'll have to spend at least $4000 rebuilding the engine alone not to mention the interior and body work) and he wants to get my granddaddy's house so he can rent it out (his house is like a half mile from liz's house, somewhere in murraywood, in case you're wondering about general direction) which is bullshit because he wants us to take care of it while his ass sits and collects rent. my mom wants it and she's just going to sell it. which is the best way to do it imo. he says he wanted to leave some valuable stuff to me because he always liked me for my drive and infallibilitiy in the face of struggle (don't know where he got that from) so I guess I might get something out of it? i dunno. I don't want anything out of it. I want my granddaddy. I'm listening to Last Dance with Mary Jane. by tom petty. tom petty is a dad thing, most dads listen to tom petty. my dad does. I can think of two others who do. so yeah, it's definitely a dad thing =D I'm not a dad though. I probably won't ever be, so I sort of break the mold. why? because if you think about it, would you really want me to be the father of your kids? it would be bad. I could try as hard as was in me and it still wouldn't be enough to be a good father, I'm just not that kind of person. I think I'm just going to build a castle when I'm rich and live in it. maybe with someone I love, but I doubt that, because there's noone crazy enough to love me and want to spend their life with me no matter how rich I get. you know what song I also really like? vnv nation's kingdom. that's the song you guys listened to in the van. I listened to the words today, in depth, because I was in a 'needing guidance' sort of mood.. that's a really nice song. it's talking about creating a heaven out of hell and guiding those who need guidance until the "kingdom has been won." (And I believe that we'll concieve to make in hell for us a heaven, a brave new world, a promised land, a fortitude of hearts and minds, until I see this kingdom's mine I'll turn the darkness into light I'll guide the blind, our will be done, until the day I say our kingdom has been won) it's great. I wish that I was a person who could stand up and do that. but I'm not that strong. yet. I will be. if I do nothing in my life I'll devote as much power as I can to helping people. I already try, a lot. I don't get recognized for it and most people think I'm an asshole but I do help people. I totally ranted out in #neocesspool today. it was awesome. beige was like ":o" which is perfectly okay because I'm normally so quiet in there. donut and I got going and then someone posted a link from kuro5hin and we raved about that and it was good. so I went to bed last night pretty happy. and I fell asleep at like 4:00am and then I woke back up at 5:30am and for the life of me I could not fall back asleep. so at like 10:30am I got dressed, but like, as soon as I was pretty much nekkid (anymore around the house I just wear boxers, socks, and athletic shorts, maybe a tank top) I fell asleep and didn't wake up until 3:30pm. then I was online until 7:30pm and ate dinnah and then my brother got back online and I just got back on at like 11:00pm. isn't that great and interesting? I didn't think so. I've been listening to this song by the Streets called The Irony of it All. it is a very interesting song, because it uses two rappers with different tones of voice and speeds to contrast a drunk and a pothead. it portrayed the drunk as violent and incapable and the pothead as calm and mellow and full of accomplishment. which isn't really too true, they're both idiots, but to tell you the truth I would rather deal with a pothead than a drunk any day. plus, I mean, pot really doesn't have any recorded deaths.. like, deaths caused by the pot itself. and people die from liver failure caused by alcohol every day. hmmmmmm. which is the lesser of two evils? pot is obviously the lesser of the two evils. though they're both aweful and evil and nasty and gross and stupid. if the government could tax pot easily you'd see it legalized. until then they'll just keep it illegal. anyway, good song, great for a listen if you're looking for a song with a little bit of liberal message. I have to pee like a racehorse. I haven't used the bathroom at all today and I've had more than eight cups of water. I want to make a megazeux game but I don't know what about. I realize that most of my game developing sucks, because I'm not really a good developer. but I'm not going to let that keep me from getting excited about making something and having my hopes dashed on the rocks like wave caps. so I just went and peed and that felt pretty good. I was standing there for like ten minutes, bahahaha. that's pretty gross but that's what you get for reading this far into my stupid rant. maybe if you weren't pretending to be interested in what I have to say you wouldn't end up reading such gross things. I'm so tired. I could really use someone to talk to right now. more so I could probably use someone here in person. I'm really lonely. oh well. better get used to it. I'm going to spending the rest of summer out here by myself. I have to go take senior pictures soon. that'll be interesting. not. hahahah. :rubs eyes: well, I think I'm done. I don't have a whole lot more to talk about. I think I'm running these "long entries" shorter each time. but I'd have to c/p it into open office.org to really know how long in characters/words each one of these things were. katie says I'm her idol in art and in computers. I have no idea why. she's coming on to me like a drunken whore though, it's really bad. she thinks everything I do is awesome and my word on software/art is the word of god. and she's determined to talk to me. I cut my responses back to the almighty "heh" and she still wants to talk. I remember back when all I used to say was "Heh" and everybody thought I hated them for no reason besides all I said was "Heh." of course they didn't know at the time I only said "Heh" because they all made me really nervous and I never quite knew what to say to them. that really only changed last summer, which is really sad if you think about it. right now I'm listening to fatboy slim's remix of kung fu fighting. I like it. Exophase is really steaming ahead on the windows port of megazeux. maybe then you guys could actually play the megazeux games that I make and I'd be more inclined to finish them. yeah right. you guys hardly even play the crap I make in C =D I pretty much had to quit asking people if they wanted the little games I made because they were all so awful. so I have like, bgi versions of pong, breakout, a little catacomb game.. stuff like that, and sdl remakes of them that make no sense at all. I'm not a good programmer. I never was. I was just sort of fooling myself into thinking I was a good programmer. it's not that I don't have any confidence in myself, I'm pretty sure I can start, make, and finish anything I set my mind to, I'm just not really all that good at programming =D they shot those guys who beheaded that guy recently to death. that's pretty good, let god sort 'em out. that's sadly what we're going to have to do, because fanatics don't listen to reason. you either kill them all or they kill you. it's a sad state of affairs. war is ugly and in a great world it wouldn't happen. but you know, it's either war or disease/famine. the population has to correct itself somehow. I guess I'm tired and all about written out, so I'm going to let you go. though I don't think you read this far. in fact I'm under the impression people tell me they read these things so I don't feel like a total loser spending the time to write them and then posting them. actually no I think a few of you do, and that makes me happy =) <3 you guys, nightnight.