Comments | derivatizing: There are so many different ways of collecting all the strays; the words that get away

derivatizing

There are so many different ways of collecting all the strays; the words that get away

Dec 09, 2009 21:12

Since notifs are sort of coming back, lets have another go at this:

Tell me something. Post it anonymously. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love: anything you want. Something about you, something about me, anything at all.

Real update to come sometime eventually I suppose.

Comments 19

anonymous December 10 2009, 06:27:32 UTC

I can never really confess anything on these.

It bugs me, because I have a lot of things worth confessing. Especially lately.

I just can't open my mouth, even as an anon. I always feel like everyone will know exactly who it is.

derivatizing December 10 2009, 21:37:52 UTC

It's hard to put it out there, for everyone to see. But if you really want to talk sometime my aim is luvlynski, I'm always happy to chat when I'm on, okay? Or we can chat about nothing sometimes that makes me feel better.

anonymous December 10 2009, 23:06:44 UTC

Ahhh, I understand what you mean, but that's precisely the problem. I always chat about absolutely nothing, and it's not that that doesn't help, but no one really knows anything about the harder parts of my life. I'll tell people when I'm having bad day at least, but I never share any of the bigger problems. I skirt close to the big things with a casual mention, and then avoid the subject. Now they're kind of building up though, and I've just been stressed out over things I can't change. It's also a time where I'm feeling really lonely irl. :(

But every time I go to open my mouth, I just...I can't say it. I don't even know what it is. I just keep thinking it will be something like "Wait, that's been a problem all this time? Why didn't you say anything sooner? Why are you dumping all of this down now of all times?". And then I just...don't say anything. I don't mean to be dishonest, but...

I don't even know. The urge to just erase this comment is strong, but I'm going to leave it and post it before I can change my mind.

derivatizing December 10 2009, 23:10:19 UTC

I have a lot of problems talking to people irl, which is part of the reason I write so much here I guess. When I write in my lj it's like reverse anonymity. Someone reads it, but not necessarily everyone, you know?

well I got my license I can come drive to you if you're close? Not this second, but in the future.

But look, no one is going to be upset with you for saying it "now of all times" problems are always relevant, and all of us need someone everyonce and awhile

anonymous December 10 2009, 06:31:59 UTC

I was describing my social anxiety to a friend the other day, and he said, "Oh, it sounds like you're some kind of actor!"

Since then, I haven't gotten that out of my head. It's true. I've know it to be true.

derivatizing December 10 2009, 21:47:06 UTC

Are actors...unsociable?

anonymous December 13 2009, 23:01:25 UTC

Not like that.

In the sense that I have to have a role in order to be sociable and communicate. I can't just be me. I have to be NAME, the smart kid. Or NAME, the Student Body President. Or NAME, whatever title here. If it's just me, I can't do it. I can't express myself. I'm too scared to.

derivatizing December 13 2009, 23:02:01 UTC

We've talked about this before haven't we?

Thread 6

anonymous December 10 2009, 07:31:47 UTC

I think your adorable. Like, really adorable. Yeah, that way too.

anonymous December 10 2009, 07:40:25 UTC

You're, even.

derivatizing December 10 2009, 21:47:59 UTC

Awww that's sweet.

But, what way ahhh I am so highschool putting it "that way" is always you know that way. Like liking

Watch me articulate like a boss.

anonymous December 11 2009, 03:06:07 UTC

Yeah, like that way. It doesn't matter because nothing could happen between us, but I thought you'd like to know. Just to brighten your day in case you ever feel like no one does, because that's not true.

Thread 7

anonymous December 11 2009, 03:10:35 UTC

I feel like we've grown apart.

derivatizing December 11 2009, 05:48:39 UTC

I've gotten things like this...pretty much consistently. And my only reply continues to be that I. well. I really wish I could do something, but I'm clearly not already and...

I don't have a lot of time during the weeks, I'm often distracted/whatever. These are all excuses. You can always im me but I know, it can be awkward especially if I seem like I don't want to talk or whatever you are feeling but I promise that's not the case.

In short, is there anything I can do, anon?