SUN RUNE HERALD NEWS TODAY; HOMOSEXUAL OPTIMUS PRIME STEALS SETH COHEN & TITS MGEE
SUIKODEN V IS SO FUCKING CONFUSING AND I'M NOT HAVING ANY FUN. WHY DID OUR TOWN HAVE TO BE SO BIG, MOM?
First off, what the hell. I really don't like Sialeeds. Maybe I just dislike older women who hang around children (because it is inevitably my future) but wtf. Leave me alone. Can't you see me and my Chinese bodyguard need to have time to mate? Furthermore, you can't fight and your breasts are distracting. Can't I run around with Lyon and Gay-org Opitmus Prime, who clearly lusted after my father (nice eyebrows Sandy Cohen) and now has taken me "hostage." Oh Godwin. You crafty devils. I see your plot to expose me and Georg as a knight and his shota prince lover and I applaud this!! Now let's get rid of the big tittied one and make it happen.
What the fuck is wrong with my main character? He's wearing the ugliest clothing I've ever seen. And his name is Haruhi, because my brother brought the game to the counter at Gamespot and said-
ryan: HAVE YOU PLAYED THIS
clerk: a few hours, yeah.
ryan: IS THIS KID A DUDE OR A GIRL?
clerk: uh guy.
ryan: GODDAMNIT I'M NOT PAYING FOR ANOTHER QUEER GAME
me: STOP CALLING KINGDOM HEARTS II A GAY GAME, YOU CRIED
ryan: afjdfd I FINALLY FOUND RIKU OKAY IT WAS VERY EMOTIONAL.
fjhdf so whatever, Haruhi. GOD WE JUST MET THE BAROW'S DAUGHTER. What a fucking hottie. I was all about Lyon until she showed up. Then I have my poor bodyguard crying about her tragic past while I'm thinking "OH MY GOD I COULD SO GET A PITY FUCK FROM THE BAROWS' CHICK."
lyon: jfdhfjd and then they taught me to kill, prince
haruhi: LAP DANCE
Why can't this be like Suikoden IV, where Will went around recruiting hoes. I miss that. Instead, I hate everyone we've met so far. I'm so used to playing Suikoden and finding like 108 badasses and the occasional cat-person, so maybe I'm just spoiled. This game it feels like I keep meeting 108 fatties. I also have said "..." or whichever response has a swearword in it for just about everything, which is effective as saying "Those people in the star spots, we could probably just execute them." See, I'd be concerned IF I FELT THE NEED TO CHERISH ANYONE I'VE MET THUS FAR. I'M REALLY NOT RUNNING AROUND THINKING "GOT TO GET 108 STARS AND PROTECT NANAMI/REVIVE GREMIO/KEEP SNOWE AS FAR FROM ME AS POSSIBLE." THUS FAR I'M RUNNING AROUND THINKING "I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE BAD ENDING."
Is Gazelle voiced by Treize from Gundam Wing or is their exactly identical uniforms purely coincidental?
I HATED MY MOM. nngh. Because of Ferid's eyebrows I saw them as Sandy and Kirsten Cohen, particularly after Kirsten discovered booze and OH MY GOD I'VE TURNED A BELOVED VIDEO GAME INTO THE OC. and am I a bad person for thinking as soon mom was dead "Awesome, when do I get the Sun rune? Because yeah yeah, I know, it seduces its owner, but HEY. It'd be the first. :-s look at me gayorg."
When we left the castle after the inevitable betrayal we had MORE than enough time to prevent, someone said "Don't worry about the Sun Rune, Kyle is heading up to the chamber now." WOW. IF I COULD IMAGINE THE LAST PERSON IN THE WORLD I WOULD WANT TO HAVE THE SUN RUNE, IT WOULD BE THE PERVERT WITH GREAT HAIR. LET GO OF ME CHINESE PROTECTORATE, IT'S CLEAR YOU'RE IN CAHOOTS WITH THESE BITCHES.
fjdf I miss Ritapon. Sometimes I dream I'm still playing against her. REACH!? FUCK I LOST MY LIFE SAVINGS TO THIS BITCH But most of all, I miss Riou. Someone said this game was as good as 2 and I spit on them. Where are the twists they had in Suikoden 2?! Well, not so much twists as AHHHHH JOWY WHYY IS THAT HAPPENING TO MEEEE I'M 11. Instead, the plot for Suikoden V is thus far so rehashed that I want to throw up. IS ANYTHING ORIGINAL GOING TO HAPPEN OR CAN I JUST NAP THROGH THIS WAR- LIKE I DID FOR THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS THEY HELD TO SELL MY SISTER AWAY?
First off, what the hell. I really don't like Sialeeds. Maybe I just dislike older women who hang around children (because it is inevitably my future) but wtf. Leave me alone. Can't you see me and my Chinese bodyguard need to have time to mate? Furthermore, you can't fight and your breasts are distracting. Can't I run around with Lyon and Gay-org Opitmus Prime, who clearly lusted after my father (nice eyebrows Sandy Cohen) and now has taken me "hostage." Oh Godwin. You crafty devils. I see your plot to expose me and Georg as a knight and his shota prince lover and I applaud this!! Now let's get rid of the big tittied one and make it happen.
What the fuck is wrong with my main character? He's wearing the ugliest clothing I've ever seen. And his name is Haruhi, because my brother brought the game to the counter at Gamespot and said-
ryan: HAVE YOU PLAYED THIS
clerk: a few hours, yeah.
ryan: IS THIS KID A DUDE OR A GIRL?
clerk: uh guy.
ryan: GODDAMNIT I'M NOT PAYING FOR ANOTHER QUEER GAME
me: STOP CALLING KINGDOM HEARTS II A GAY GAME, YOU CRIED
ryan: afjdfd I FINALLY FOUND RIKU OKAY IT WAS VERY EMOTIONAL.
fjhdf so whatever, Haruhi. GOD WE JUST MET THE BAROW'S DAUGHTER. What a fucking hottie. I was all about Lyon until she showed up. Then I have my poor bodyguard crying about her tragic past while I'm thinking "OH MY GOD I COULD SO GET A PITY FUCK FROM THE BAROWS' CHICK."
lyon: jfdhfjd and then they taught me to kill, prince
haruhi: LAP DANCE
Why can't this be like Suikoden IV, where Will went around recruiting hoes. I miss that. Instead, I hate everyone we've met so far. I'm so used to playing Suikoden and finding like 108 badasses and the occasional cat-person, so maybe I'm just spoiled. This game it feels like I keep meeting 108 fatties. I also have said "..." or whichever response has a swearword in it for just about everything, which is effective as saying "Those people in the star spots, we could probably just execute them." See, I'd be concerned IF I FELT THE NEED TO CHERISH ANYONE I'VE MET THUS FAR. I'M REALLY NOT RUNNING AROUND THINKING "GOT TO GET 108 STARS AND PROTECT NANAMI/REVIVE GREMIO/KEEP SNOWE AS FAR FROM ME AS POSSIBLE." THUS FAR I'M RUNNING AROUND THINKING "I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE BAD ENDING."
Is Gazelle voiced by Treize from Gundam Wing or is their exactly identical uniforms purely coincidental?
I HATED MY MOM. nngh. Because of Ferid's eyebrows I saw them as Sandy and Kirsten Cohen, particularly after Kirsten discovered booze and OH MY GOD I'VE TURNED A BELOVED VIDEO GAME INTO THE OC. and am I a bad person for thinking as soon mom was dead "Awesome, when do I get the Sun rune? Because yeah yeah, I know, it seduces its owner, but HEY. It'd be the first. :-s look at me gayorg."
When we left the castle after the inevitable betrayal we had MORE than enough time to prevent, someone said "Don't worry about the Sun Rune, Kyle is heading up to the chamber now." WOW. IF I COULD IMAGINE THE LAST PERSON IN THE WORLD I WOULD WANT TO HAVE THE SUN RUNE, IT WOULD BE THE PERVERT WITH GREAT HAIR. LET GO OF ME CHINESE PROTECTORATE, IT'S CLEAR YOU'RE IN CAHOOTS WITH THESE BITCHES.
fjdf I miss Ritapon. Sometimes I dream I'm still playing against her. REACH!? FUCK I LOST MY LIFE SAVINGS TO THIS BITCH But most of all, I miss Riou. Someone said this game was as good as 2 and I spit on them. Where are the twists they had in Suikoden 2?! Well, not so much twists as AHHHHH JOWY WHYY IS THAT HAPPENING TO MEEEE I'M 11. Instead, the plot for Suikoden V is thus far so rehashed that I want to throw up. IS ANYTHING ORIGINAL GOING TO HAPPEN OR CAN I JUST NAP THROGH THIS WAR- LIKE I DID FOR THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS THEY HELD TO SELL MY SISTER AWAY?