On Depression
Last night I spent some time with my friend Jess and Mama T. I'd arranged to spend some time there because Tuesday evening I had a depression attack (not that I need an excuse to visit them; they're wonderful!). I say "attack" intentionally; it hit with no warning and dissipated within a few hours.
This brought the conversation to depression, which Jess also suffers with but Mama T does not. I always find it entirely difficult to explain depression to people, especially people who are pro-active and feel like one should simply "decide not to be" depressed (not Mama T's words, but those of someone else I've tried to explain to). A few observations as a sufferer:
A) No two depressives are the same, nor are two depressive episodes for a single person per force the same. Some people suffer conditional depression only, others are hormonal only and others like me experience both.
B) Depression is not something that one can just "tackle". Like all depressive episodes are unique, recovery and/or coping methods are as well. Medication really only works if the depression is hormone-based.
I like to call depression "the dark man". He comes in, tells me I'm worthless and everything I'm trying to do will fail so why try and wouldn't it be better if I were dead? He sucks the joy out of life. Depressives will often avoid things that they have enjoyed before and may still enjoy, because that brief period of pleasure makes the descent back into depression even blacker. Medication for this type of depression is a horrible idea, because medication keeps one from the depths of despair, but simultaneously impairs the heights of joy.
So, for those who know and/or love depressives, it doesn't help to tell us to "shake it off" or "decide not to feel that way". What you can do to help is be there, an unjudging ear and sympathetic shoulder.
ETA: This is not a cry for help; I know I can count on you all to be there for me. Much Love.