Hard Times
I'm sipping an Arabic espresso at Hard Times Cafe here in Minneapolis. I've ditched out on the other sessions for the NAISA conference today so that I could get some work done for the conference next week. It's been a rough couple days, but I think I'm in a comfortable enough place (i.e., coffeehouse) to write about it.
I'm concerned about my attitude towards academia lately. The sessions and panels I've attended have had me retreating back into this juvenile state of insecurity and self-deprecation, which seriously hinders any intellectual engagement. Maybe I'm just not allowing myself to be comfortable with the fact that I am young and have a ways to go when it comes to higher academic thought and conversation. I do know that I worry incessantly about my educational development, feeling like I lack a suitable cognitive infrastructure or ability to reason.
This conference just intensified whatever doubts or second thoughts I had about going into the PhD program. When I look at all the other conference-goers, it was hard to see my path fitting in with them. I hope that the one next week will be different. I may find more kinship with the enviro/sustainability scholars than I do with the native/indigenous ones.
I'm probably also suffering from semester fatigue.
Ultimately, I need to find a way to banish unhappiness and be enthused about what I'm doing. I just heard this woman across from me recommend The Chemistry of Joy, which I'll have to check out.
This is my second time in Minneapolis, and the visit has only added to my admiration of the city. I could see myself living here. Some highlights of the trip:
-visiting Birchbark Book, Louise Erdrich's bookstore. Highly recommended. I wanted to read every book I saw.
-The Seward Co-op. Bright, extensive, and they have an excellent deli!
-watching Janiva Magness perform at the Cedar Cultural center. Her solo encore was amazing.
-The Mill City Museum. The conference reception was here, and I loved how they built the museum into the ruins of the mill.
-the view from the Holiday Inn. It was fun to look down on the outdoor seating of the two pubs below.
-the weather! It's finally spring and such a pleasure to be able to walk outside without a coat any time of day.
Okay, I need to go prepare this cover letter, email the farm I'm supposed to stay on, and attempt to make a compelling profile on couchsurfing so some awesome Bellinghamers will want to take me in...
I'm concerned about my attitude towards academia lately. The sessions and panels I've attended have had me retreating back into this juvenile state of insecurity and self-deprecation, which seriously hinders any intellectual engagement. Maybe I'm just not allowing myself to be comfortable with the fact that I am young and have a ways to go when it comes to higher academic thought and conversation. I do know that I worry incessantly about my educational development, feeling like I lack a suitable cognitive infrastructure or ability to reason.
This conference just intensified whatever doubts or second thoughts I had about going into the PhD program. When I look at all the other conference-goers, it was hard to see my path fitting in with them. I hope that the one next week will be different. I may find more kinship with the enviro/sustainability scholars than I do with the native/indigenous ones.
I'm probably also suffering from semester fatigue.
Ultimately, I need to find a way to banish unhappiness and be enthused about what I'm doing. I just heard this woman across from me recommend The Chemistry of Joy, which I'll have to check out.
This is my second time in Minneapolis, and the visit has only added to my admiration of the city. I could see myself living here. Some highlights of the trip:
-visiting Birchbark Book, Louise Erdrich's bookstore. Highly recommended. I wanted to read every book I saw.
-The Seward Co-op. Bright, extensive, and they have an excellent deli!
-watching Janiva Magness perform at the Cedar Cultural center. Her solo encore was amazing.
-The Mill City Museum. The conference reception was here, and I loved how they built the museum into the ruins of the mill.
-the view from the Holiday Inn. It was fun to look down on the outdoor seating of the two pubs below.
-the weather! It's finally spring and such a pleasure to be able to walk outside without a coat any time of day.
Okay, I need to go prepare this cover letter, email the farm I'm supposed to stay on, and attempt to make a compelling profile on couchsurfing so some awesome Bellinghamers will want to take me in...