[House fic] Shape of the Universe - hw_fest entry
Title: Shape of the Universe
Author: descrime
Rating: PG
Words: 3,362
Prompt: 45. Everyone thinks House is the cruel one, but Wilson is not as nice as he seems.
Shape of the Universe
1. House (Socratic Method)
The first place he goes is Wilson’s office. He doesn’t bother to knock, just flings the door open and says, “Cuddy knows something’s up.” It’s all very dramatic, but Wilson’s never been a big appreciator of the arts.
Instead, he just looks worried. “She knows I shrunk the tumor?” he asks.
“No, she just knows something’s up. Came at me with this vague declarative. All sneaky like. I didn’t know she had it in her.”
Wilson rubs his temples. “She’ll figure it out,” he says fatalistically. “She’ll pull the records and-”
“She may figure out that the tumor was shrunken,” House allows, “but what’s-her-name is my patient, the supplies were requisitioned in my name, and unless you’ve gotten sloppy, the chart was initialed ‘GH’.”
“Cameron was there,” Wilson points out and House almost rolls his eyes because when you’re trying to be secretive, inviting someone along to watch is not the brightest move. But, then again, Wilson’s always been a soft touch with the ladies.
“I’ll make sure she knows who she saw do the injection,” House promises.
There’s no question of who will take the fall for this. House would say they’ve worked out a system except that it’s just an easy equation. Reckless procedure equals House’s doing. Elementary stuff.
Wilson just stares at him. He won’t say thanks, he hasn’t since the first time, but House has never had a need for platitudes anyway.
“Just wanted to let you know, you should probably steer clear today. It wouldn’t do for you to get caught in the crossfire from some rouge surgeon.”
Wilson smiles at that. “So, no elevator rendezvous?” he asks.
“Scandalous,” House says appreciatively. “Better not until the attention dies down and we can sneak away without a chaperone.”
Wilson nods and goes back to his paperwork. “See you tomorrow then.”
“Eleven o’clock for lunch,” House agrees before wheeling around and leaving as abruptly as he’d come.
2. Cuddy (Control)
“Before the committee votes, we must go into a closed session,” Cuddy says, standing up. The medical students and residents who were sitting in get up and shuffle towards the door. Cuddy goes over to stand before Vogler (and God, Wilson already knows he’s going to be trouble), giving him her best smile. “I’m sorry,” she says, “but only members of the transplant committee can be here now.”
Vogler merely smiles back. “I think it would be most informative if I stayed,” he says smoothly, and Cuddy’s expression turns brittle.
“That may be,” Cuddy replies, voice level but slightly strained, “but it would be a violation of hospital guidelines. You can learn the committee’s verdict afterwards.”
For a second, they stare at each other, and then finally Vogler gets up. “I expect you to bring the decision to me personally,” he remarks before leaving.
Most of the committee members have also gotten up to get a cup of coffee or a bottle of water. Wilson had stayed seated, though, to watch the exchange, and now Cuddy slides into the seat next to him.
“I have to know,” she says seriously, reaching out to grip his arm. “Is House lying?” Wilson wonders how badly Vogler’s been harping about House. If Cuddy’s expression is any indication, bad is probably an understatement.
Between the conversation in the courtyard and the look House gave him a few minutes ago, Wilson knows the answer is an unequivocal ‘yes’.
“No,” he says. “I don’t think so.”
“Are you sure?” she asks.
“Of course,” he says. “I think he just wanted to piss off Vogler. Show him that he’s not cowed or whatnot.” He rolls his eyes, commiserating over House’s childishness.
Cuddy stares at him like she’s trying to discern the truth in his eyes, but, when prepared, Wilson is a much better liar than House. “Okay,” she says.
Everyone sits back down and they go over the patient’s stats for a bit before voting. As Wilson raises his hand, he knows he’s putting his friendship with House over a person’s life, and it’s mildly vexing, but all he can think about is how to get House in that damn lab coat.
3. Chase (Kids)
“You should just fire Chase,” he says.
“What? And miss out on all this fun?” House asks.
“So, you’re going to torture him for a while and then fire him? That’s cold.”
“You don’t think he has it coming?”
“Hey, I said fire him.”
“That’s cold. All he did was save his job.”
“What? He completely screwed you over.” And there’s plenty more he wants to say, but Cuddy interrupts and its back to dealing with the meningitis outbreak.
*
“You can stop glaring at Chase now,” House says as he sits down at his desk.
Wilson looks up from his magazine. “I didn’t know I was glaring at anyone. I thought I was reading. Thanks for clearing that up for me.”
“Fine, you don’t glare outright, but Chase is looking hangdog all the same. I suspect with his upbringing, he’s gotten very good at picking up concealed intentions.” He makes a ‘tsk’ sound. “And you’re supposed to be the kind, loving parent.”
“Yes, well, most children refrain from getting their parents fired.”
“But don’t you think it’s interesting? I hired him because of the obvious Daddy Issues, but going so far as to subvert the male authority figure for a higher-and uglier-male authority figure. Or maybe he just really wanted to keep his job. Or maybe he thought Vogler couldn’t do anything to me, so he saw it as a way to ensure that he got to stay with his male authority figure this time.”
“You are not a psychologist,” Wilson says, even though he knows it’s a lost cause.
“Jealous?” House teases.
“He almost lost you your job. He lost me my job.”
House could point out that all Wilson had to do to keep his job was raise his hand, but he figures that some choices aren’t really choices at all. That’s why he wants to know the reason for Chase’s betrayal. Instead, he says, “If you had lost your job permanently and I’d had the time and ability, I would have fired Chase. But you are back as head oncologist and all is right in the Land of PPTH, so why bother?”
Wilson snorts, and House makes a mental note to be glad he isn’t on Wilson’s payroll.
4. Cameron (Love Hurts)
“She’s still making eyes at you,” Wilson observes, tipping back his chair to rest his feet on House’s desk. “The date couldn’t have gone that badly.”
“Who said it went badly?” House asks.
“Uh, you said there wasn’t going to be a second date. That implies the first date when badly.”
“No, the fact that there won’t be a second date is because I only agreed to one.”
Wilson’s jaw drops. “You’re kidding, right? You had fun, but you won’t go on a second date because, what? Pride? Stubbornness?”
“Will you stop putting words in my mouth?” House asks irritably. “I never said I had fun. I just said that it went well.”
“What’s the difference?” Wilson questions.
“It needed to be done, and there were no tears or tirades of hatred at the end. Ergo, it went well.”
“I can’t believe this. Because you had to do it, you had to sabotage it? Is that it?”
“Please stop with the pop psychology,” House mock-begs. “It burns.”
“Sorry,” Wilson says sarcastically, “I’m just still trying to figure out why you won’t go out with her. She’s an attractive, young woman who’s clearly infatuated with you.”
“So, because she’s attractive and willing, I should do her? That’s the kind of logic that’s gotten you two divorces, you know.”
Wilson ignores the barb. “Well, last time I checked, you weren’t married, so I don’t think you need to worry about that.”
House tries to outstare him, but Wilson has always had much more patience. Finally, House breaks eye contact and says, “She doesn’t like me.”
“All evidence would point to the contrary.”
“Well, sometimes the evidence lies,” House snaps, and Wilson is momentarily taken aback.
“Why don’t you think she likes you?” Wilson asks, but House has pulled out his yo-yo and is now clearly ignoring him.
The conversation itches in the back of his mind for days and then weeks, but House won’t answer him, so eventually Wilson gives up asking. He focuses instead on a much more pliable target: Cameron herself.
Obviously there is something about her that House has picked up on. If he can find out what it is, maybe he can change it and mold her into a person House could be happy with. She-- along with Foreman and Chase--has already wormed her way into House’s routine, which is almost the same thing as being part of House’s life.
So he talks to her more often, tries to get her to open up so that he can find House’s mystery reason. This is House’s chance, he thinks. Being in love is happiness, and more than anything else, he wants House to be happy.
5. Julie (Honeymoon)
“My wife’s going to kill me,” Wilson says as he sits down at the bar. “We’re having company. She cooked.”
For a second, he thinks about his wife, standing in the kitchen, silently watching as he slipped on a pair of loafers and left. But then House is talking again, and he forgets.
6. Foreman (Deception)
“House assisting. That is funny. Too bad Foreman’s going to die.”
Wilson is really glad Cameron didn’t share that comment with Foreman, because otherwise he doubts the other doctor would be here right now, spilling out his secret.
“Do you think House would take me seriously as his boss?”
“Where is this coming from? Did Cuddy say something?”
“We talked, she intimated.”
“There’s no way this is going to happen,” Wilson says, but Foreman just smiles and leaves.
Wilson stares at the empty door for a second, thoughts racing. Could Cuddy seriously be thinking of replacing House as department head? He taps his pen against a chart for a moment before pushing back his chair and heading towards the elevators.
Cuddy’s alone in her office, so he just pushes open the door and walks in. He wants to say “Have you lost your mind?” but goes with “Can we talk?” instead.
“Sure,” she says, giving him a bright smile, like she hasn’t just offered his best friend’s department to someone else.
“It’s about Foreman overseeing House,” he says.
Cuddy sighs. “I was wondering when you were going to bring it up.”
Wilson puts his hands on his hips, settling in for a fight. “You and I both know the oversight mandate was just petty revenge because House has pissed off all the people on that board at one time or another. And your decision to leave one of House’s employees in charge of him was specifically designed to embarrass him. And I agreed with all of that because, let’s face it, House has pretty much deserved it. But you can’t take the department away from him permanently. He needs it.”
“How did you find out about that?” Cuddy asks.
“Foreman told me.” And, really, he’s not even breaking his promise, because there’s no way he’s ever going to tell House he stood in danger of losing his department.
Cuddy rolls her eyes, but says, “It would be a win-win situation. He wouldn’t have to worry about the paperwork anymore, and I could actually get my paperwork on time.”
“You’re joking, right? You really expect him to be fine with having Foreman--someone he hired who is over ten years his junior and not half the doctor he is--overseeing his every move? Yeah, he’s really going to find the silver lining in that.”
“A little adaptation might do House some good.”
“Or it might drive him into further addiction and just make everything worse.”
“Wilson,” Cuddy tries, “I know you’re looking out for your friend, but I have to look out for the hospital. House will get over it.”
“No, he won’t.” And he really doesn’t want to go here, but he’s stepped over plenty of lines in the past for House, so what’s one more? “And he won’t have to.”
“What?” Cuddy asks.
“Last time I checked, department head positions had to be approved by the board. So, unless you’re going to kick me off the board-” The ‘again’ is silently implied. “-then in two weeks, House goes back to being head of Diagnostics.”
Cuddy looks surprised now. “Being on the board means looking out for the interests of the hospital,” she says, and Wilson knows that. But he only has two things that mean anything to him and he’s already chosen one over the other. “Fine,” she finally capitulates, throwing up her hands when she realizes that Wilson is unmoved. “I’ll rescind the offer. Everyone can go back to being miserable.”
“Thank you,” Wilson says for the form of things. Cuddy just snorts disbelievingly, and Wilson lets himself out.
House catches up to him while he’s waiting for the elevator.
“Looks like you escaped the she-demon unscathed,” he remarks.
Wilson gives a short laugh. “Yeah,” he says, though he knows Cuddy’s going to be pissed at him for weeks. “What are you up to?”
“Have to go convince Foreman to let me do a biopsy.” And even though his tone is light, Wilson can hear the frustration behind it.
“It’s just two more weeks,” he says comfortingly, as they get in the elevator.
“Yeah,” House agrees, doors closing behind him. “Only two more weeks.”
7. Stacy (Need to Know)
Hypocrite, House calls him, but it’s not that his opinion has changed, it’s that the circumstances have. Wilson had been expecting Stacy to brush the kiss off and say it didn’t mean anything. He had been preparing to deal with a morose, brokenhearted House. But this, this was unexpected.
When he’d heard that Stacy was taking a job at the hospital, he had thought the ending was a foregone conclusion. House would try to win her back in his own style, she would stand by her husband, and House could, hopefully, put the ghost of their relationship to rest. Now, all he can do is wonder why the hell he’d put his faith in fidelity. It’s not the like the concept ever saved him.
“We’re friends, right?” Stacy asks.
“Of course,” he says and then puts down his fork. “So, I take it you have an ulterior motive for inviting me to lunch?”
“Yeah,” she says, her hand rising to play with her necklace. “Last night, I…spent the night at Greg’s.”
Oh, he thinks. Oh.
“I talked to Lisa, but she wasn’t much help.” Her hand drops, and she gives him an earnest look. “What do you think I should do?
“It depends,” he says. “What do you want to happen?”
“Greg gave me an ultimatum. Either him or Mark.”
Good, Wilson thinks. A prolonged charade would kill him.
“And I just don’t know what to do,” Stacy admits.
“Have you told Mark? About cheating on him?” Wilson asks.
“Of course not.” Stacy gives him a dirty look. “Why would I do that before I figure out what I’m going to do?”
“So, if you decide to stay with Mark, you’re not going to tell him?” He can’t quite keep the reproach out of his voice.
Stacy visibly bristles. “I know you tell all your wives about your affairs--”
“It’s a hard decision, but you have to--”
“But have you told Greg about sleeping with me?”
Wilson freezes in shock. They don’t talk about this. They don’t even allude to it. It was only once, during the infarction, when things were so crazy that--
“See?” she says bitterly. “You didn’t come clean when it mattered either.” Wilson just looks at her, silent. “It’s not a hard decision if you don’t care,” she adds.
There are a thousand thoughts and excuses and denials piling up his mind, but when he finally gets his voice back, he only asks, “And it is a hard decision with House and Mark?”
The answer in her eyes is obvious, and there’s nothing he can say in reply.
8. House (House vs. God)
“So,” he says as he scoops out another serving of linguini for House, “I found an apartment.”
House doesn’t look up from his plate. “And here I thought you were finally adapting to the couch,” he remarks. “When are you moving out?”
“Tonight,” Wilson says, and then House does look up.
“Awfully fast for a deal to go through,” he accuses.
“It’s been in the works for a while,” he lies. In fact, he’d just given Grace a ride home that afternoon, which is why he was late getting back to House’s and why they’re eating dinner at eight o’clock. Luckily, House had already bought his excuse of being late because of a coding patient.
“And you didn’t want to tell me, why?” House asks, and Wilson has no idea why House is getting so offended. He’s getting his apartment back, after all.
“Oh, maybe because I didn’t want you sabotaging this deal?” he retorts sarcastically.
“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t have,” House assures him, equally caustic, before going back to his dinner. The meal is silent and quick. Afterwards, Wilson washes the dishes, but then there’s nothing to do but start packing. He moves room to room, picking up his things, which seem to have migrated all over the apartment in the few weeks he’s been here, and bringing them back to his open suitcase on the couch. House watches silently the entire time from the piano bench.
“It’s good,” House finally speaks up when Wilson is zipping up the bag. He turns towards House, who gives a shrug. “You moving into your own place,” he explains. “I’m kind of impressed. I didn’t think you were able to live alone.”
He feels a flash of guilt, but then he thinks of Grace, waiting for him, needing him.
“Yeah,” he says and hefts the suitcase up. “Thanks for letting me stay with you.” He manages a smile. “You’re actually not that bad of a roommate.”
“Hah! You weren’t the one being woken up two hours early each morning,” House grumbles, but he’s smiling slightly too.
Wilson’s almost to the door when House asks, “Aren’t you going to tell me your new address?” He stops but only looks over his shoulder, panic streaking through his mind.
“It’s in the Rosemund apartment complex up on Delmar Street,” he says, nonchalant.
“Is that what you told your porn magazine subscription? ‘Yeah, send it to that apartment complex up on Delmar Street, you know where it is.’”
“House,” Wilson stresses. “Why do you want to know?”
“Why don’t you want me know?” House counters.
“Look--” And he’s doing an excellent job of masking his panic with exasperation. “--the apartment isn’t even really furnished yet. It’s nothing to look at. Why would you want to come over?”
“Well, it’s obviously good enough that you’re in a hurry to move into it,” House points out. “I’d like to see what your taste in living standards is. See if I have to worry about you going Doctors Without Borders on me.”
“I’m not preparing myself for a trip to the Sudan,” Wilson promises. “You can visit after I finish moving in okay?” He makes a move towards the door.
“What about a phone number?” House asks, and Wilson stops.
“I haven’t contacted the phone company yet,” he lies smoothly. “You have my cell number.” His hand is on the doorknob now, and then the door is open. He’s half-waiting for a cutting remark, but it’s true that House has been to be milder these past few weeks. The noise from Baker Street floods into the silent apartment. “See you Monday,” he says, but House just watches him from the piano bench.
Everything works out, Wilson thinks as he closes the door. House gets his apartment back, and he can go where he’s needed.