Something that is wonderful when it is reciprocated and very, very painful when it isn't? Or at least the romantic version, anyway. If we're talking about loving-kindness, then that's less feeling and more action, in my opinion.
Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more...thehamoftruthMarch 18 2010, 14:26:33 UTC
Love is overrated. Love is personal.
Love is frightening because it invites vulnerability while also being rationally unclear. It mixes all sorts of unknowns, such as attraction, and often refuses to be just what we want it to be or what we think it aught to be. We can understand and influence other emotions with intelligent thought, but not love.
Love is a public affair, hopelessly influenced by cultural imperatives and social agendas. Monogamy, for example, is great, but it should not be so great a normative standard.
Love is NOT a desire to control. Wanting to control someone is diametric to loving them; it means wanting to shape them into your vision rather than seeing them and loving them for it. Control does not mean wanting what's best for them.
so... an behavior, or a force beyond our ability to grasp that we react to. Both passive and active.
As a behavior, is it a choice? Can we actually choose to love or not love somebody? Or is the emotion the motivating force behind the behavior, compelling us to do it? Or perhaps it is the difference between romantic and other loves...
Yes, love is a choice. It is an active verb. It is not based on how we feel at the moment, and maybe not even based on how we feel in a more general way. It is how we choose to live. We can't choose how we feel, so we can't choose to "feel love" for somebody, but we can choose to love them...whether loving them means offering a hug, a phone call, or a well-placed and much-needed kick in the pants. Neither needs to be motivated by our feelings, although they can be, but it's more important that they serve our drive to create the kind of world we want to see. Love means healing and fixing the world.
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Love is overrated. Love is personal.
Love is frightening because it invites vulnerability while also being rationally unclear. It mixes all sorts of unknowns, such as attraction, and often refuses to be just what we want it to be or what we think it aught to be. We can understand and influence other emotions with intelligent thought, but not love.
Love is a public affair, hopelessly influenced by cultural imperatives and social agendas. Monogamy, for example, is great, but it should not be so great a normative standard.
Love is NOT a desire to control. Wanting to control someone is diametric to loving them; it means wanting to shape them into your vision rather than seeing them and loving them for it. Control does not mean wanting what's best for them.
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As a behavior, is it a choice? Can we actually choose to love or not love somebody? Or is the emotion the motivating force behind the behavior, compelling us to do it? Or perhaps it is the difference between romantic and other loves...
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