totally coming to terms
LARPing = I R Dun with it. There's just too much drama, too much ego, and too much unwillingness to bend when it comes to that form of gaming. Somehow, when you end up in a live action roleplaying setting, people suddenly become incredibly obstinant and refuse to admit to being wrong about anything. There seems to be this sense that because its LARP instead of tabletop that it's more important than it really is.
And I guess that's what it all comes down to for me. LARP is no longer important in my life. I don't need it to be happy. I've found that I can hang out with my friends and we'll still have plenty of things to talk about without discussing characters or plots or scheming about shit that isn't real. That's sort of the outlook I took with this newest venture, and that's why I didn't get as upset about it. Then again I've had the opportunity to play for years now and B never did. He loved Penny and really wanted to play, but its frustrating to feel like you're being reigned in at every turn or that you're wrong about everything. Then, you're afraid to bring up concerns or frustrations because the STs are right, and you're wrong, and damn the books, damn the system, you've just got to accept what they dole out to you in small doses. And if you don't like it, then OH FUCKING WELL, HIT THE ROAD JACK.
Also frustrating is feeling like 75% of the folks we've considered friends for the past several years only wanted to hang out with us/see us when we were running HoB. We stopped LARP and we stopped hearing from most folks. That's not true of everyone; there's a number of people we've kept in touch with either through emails, phone calls, hanging out with, but then some just dropped off the face of the earth. Folks don't return phone calls, they don't respond to emails, nothing. So now I'm just sort of in this place where I'm like, Well shit. Did they really want to hang out with us and be friends in the first place or was it only because of game?
And I know that immediately some people are going to go, well you two never come out! Which is sort of bullshit because a lot of the time when folks invite us over we do come visit, but when the situation is such that we never are invited over or we can't come over, then duh, our house becomes the only possibility of places to hang out.
There was a time when I probably would have let this all bother me a whole lot more. But I'm not these days. I'm sort of over all the drama. I guess that folks who want to hang out with us or see us will return our phone calls, reply to emails, ask us to come over, or speak to us when we're in the same vicinity. I suppose that the folks who care keep in touch no matter where they are.
Oh well. :-/
Anyway, all this is to say I'm done with LARP. I don't intend to do anything in the way of a LARP for quite some time to come, if ever again. It's cool, but it's too much. It becomes a breeding ground for drama no matter how hard you try not to let it because, as I said, it becomes too important. People can't admit to being wrong and then it grows and grows until suddenly they quit and they've burned down the Elysium. Then by that point you're all so angry with each other over things that have gone unsaid that it all blows up and no one talks to anybody anymore. And I'd rather have my friends than have a character in a game. Period. I don't like myself when I start getting upset over something that's as pointless as a game and I don't like other people when they get upset at me over the same stuff. It's stupid. I've never yelled at someone over who's going to take motherfucking Park Place in a game of Monopoly, it's dumb to get into a bitchfest with someone who you know is a close friend over a game of Vampire, Cyberpunk, or any other genre you might play. D.U.M.B. Dumb.
I just want to tabletop, man. At the beginning of the year we were having some really great sessions and I was enjoying myself SO much. But then I got so very sick and then the LARP craze started up again and that's gone the way of the dodo. It's something I'm still interested in, but no one else seems as interested as I am. Oh well x2.
So, here it goes. Good luck guys! I really, truly, honestly hope it goes well for y'all. I hope that everything works out. But I am hitting the road because I don't like it. I don't like what it does to me, I don't like what it does to y'all, and it's not enough fun to counteract the crap that comes with it. It has all become too important and it has once again obfuscated the fact that we're supposed to be friends first, roleplayers second.
If anyone wants to talk or get together or hang out, call me. My number hasn't changed in like seven years, it's not changing anytime soon. You can email me at medusa2060@gmail.com. I'm on all during the day although not so much in the evenings anymore. Not having a computer has meant that I've been doing other things after work. Like hanging out with my husband. Reading more magazines. Watching enough HGTV that I feel like I could decorate anything. Eventually I'll probably get another computer & reactivate my WoW account, but it's just not high on my priority list right now.
Word.