(no subject)
I only hope that in my growth toward maturity that I may not lose the joy of living - the pure unadulterated joy of existence. I want to grow up, but I don't want to stop loving. I want to be who I am, but not hurt anyone. I don't want growing old to be "boring."
I know I need to take a stand on some things. I know I can't hold on to other people and cling to them for security. I know I've lost a part of myself. Some dying is good. The important thing is to figure out what parts to let live and what to let die...as the song goes. Woh I never knew what that song meant before.
Yesterday visited my mom - my grandma was there visiting. I went with my dad. At his temple they were doing Torah study and studying the Joseph story, which I love very much. We listened to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat on the way to see mom and on the way back and we sang and it was great fun. I was very happy and sad at the same time.
I talked to my dad this morning(seeking wisdom)...and also a friend of his today. I am trying to at this point become more humble and just less defensive in general. Nothing is perfect but...I am learning how to relate to people a little bit better.
The point is, I had a good day. It is by the grace of God. Maybe I will trust Him with my life someday.
And St. Nicholas is on myspace and he asked me to be his friend also(this am). For those of you who don't use myspace...there are some folks who have set up myspace pages honoring Father Seraphim Rose and others. St. Nick apparently has one set up for him also. It was wondrous and sort of mysterious. It was kind of a shock but in a good way.
I don't know everything. And I can't. I can't understand the Universe in all its ways or mysteries. I can try and make a guess based on what has happened to me and continues to happen to me. In the end, we just don't know. Maybe that's okay. But maybe we can trust that voice within - the conscience that guides us. I can take advice also...but I can think before I act and consider things deeply.
I know I need to take a stand on some things. I know I can't hold on to other people and cling to them for security. I know I've lost a part of myself. Some dying is good. The important thing is to figure out what parts to let live and what to let die...as the song goes. Woh I never knew what that song meant before.
Yesterday visited my mom - my grandma was there visiting. I went with my dad. At his temple they were doing Torah study and studying the Joseph story, which I love very much. We listened to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat on the way to see mom and on the way back and we sang and it was great fun. I was very happy and sad at the same time.
I talked to my dad this morning(seeking wisdom)...and also a friend of his today. I am trying to at this point become more humble and just less defensive in general. Nothing is perfect but...I am learning how to relate to people a little bit better.
The point is, I had a good day. It is by the grace of God. Maybe I will trust Him with my life someday.
And St. Nicholas is on myspace and he asked me to be his friend also(this am). For those of you who don't use myspace...there are some folks who have set up myspace pages honoring Father Seraphim Rose and others. St. Nick apparently has one set up for him also. It was wondrous and sort of mysterious. It was kind of a shock but in a good way.
I don't know everything. And I can't. I can't understand the Universe in all its ways or mysteries. I can try and make a guess based on what has happened to me and continues to happen to me. In the end, we just don't know. Maybe that's okay. But maybe we can trust that voice within - the conscience that guides us. I can take advice also...but I can think before I act and consider things deeply.