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[desolated]

So my parents are coming again to the wedding. Last week they came over and said that since they think pam doesn't like them, they will not be going to my wedding. Also that my brother and sister would not be coming either. So I will have no family at to my wedding. This crushed Pam she didn't know where it was coming from and felt horrible

Comments

[blueblackautumn]

Well, that's so not cool.

Instead of saying this stuff behind her back, why don't they ask her if they have a problem?

Your parents are strange, strange people!!! They can just turn their back on their son... same with your family. :/

[desolated]

ya... And they did ask her what her problem was with them. She keeps trying to say she doesn't have a problem with them... but my parents don't believe her, and thinks she's lieing to be nice... So frustrating....

[exsanguinated]

if they are threatening not to come to the wedding, then what say do they have on the reception?

weddings are supposed to be a happy time in two people's lives, and it is meant to be for those two people. it's really too bad they are throwing you onto an emotional rollercoaster when all you want to do is marry the one you love.

i hope things get smoothed over soon and that they stick with the decision to be attend.

[desolated]

I've been getting the impression from other friends and family members that all wedding have issues and fighting over them. I try not to let it get to me, thinking this is just normal...

but its hard sometimes.

[dinihart]

Jay, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds like they have some issues of their own to deal with and none of them have to do with Pam, or even you. I know they are your family but sometimes family take too many liberties and say some harsh accusations just because they feel they are entitled because of blood. Truth be told, I think they are taking advantage of you and treating you extremely unfairly and you don't have to take it, especially since they haven't supported you much in the past. The whole point of you two getting married all-inclusive was to avoid these costs and now your parents are telling you how cheap you are being?! It doesn't seem to make much sense that they should care at this point since they have threatened to skip your wedding a couple of times already. Call me selfish, but I think you need to think about your self and about Pam right now. Your relationship with her seems to be more positive then what they have ever given you

[desolated]

Ya I've been thinking that telling them that the next time they think they aren't coming they won't be invited anymore, and that will make the decision easy on them.

It was back almost 10 years ago now. I was 18, in my second year of college, while still living at home. They said I spent too much time hiding away in my room and I didn't talk to them and if I wasn't going to act like I was a part of the family then I should get out. I realize I wasn't super young or anything, but it still sucks.

I ended up crashing at a few different friend's places for a few months till moving into an apt. and I also ended up dropping out of college because I needed full time work to pay for a place to live and eat.

In hindsight I guess I could have tried for some government handouts to stay in school, but I didn't think I would get anything since my parents were getting lots of money from the gov already for my schoolling from their RESP they had set aside for me, but then they kept the money once I started at school.

[dinihart]

What the hell??

And that's a dumb reason to kick you out. You were young enough and not financially stable since you were TRYING to educate yourself.

I don't understand............

Be happy :)

[poseidon]

I dunno man... I seriously hope I have the courage to say it when it comes time for my wedding, but I'm basically gonna say to people "This is our wedding. If you don't like it, don't come" I wouldn't change anything for anybody. It's your day. You should be the one to enjoy it.

And you know what, it certainly wouldn't surprise me if Pam didn't like your folks. it seems to me that she has a perfectly good reason not to. But the fact of the matter is, maybe their guilty conscience is the real problem. They know that they are giving her every reason to dislike them, so they're placing the blame on someone else's shoulders.

I'd just put my foot down and give them an ultimatum. Decide now, and if they change their mind, then they aren't coming. And let them know that it's quite unreasonable for them to miss what should be the happiest day of your life(lives). And even still, if they have a problem with her, big deal. They should at least be there for you.

[ravenfyre]

i'm sorry, jay, that really sucks for you guys