"A Wizard's Companion" -Chapter 9: Law of Association
CHAPTER 9: LAW OF ASSOCIATION
“Things once in contact continue to interact after separation.”
“Wait a second, Carl.”
“Sure Nita,” Carl reached for his coffee gratefully, draining the rest of it and sinking back into the sofa. “What is it?”
“Let me just try to get things straight.”
Carl waves a hand at her to continue, “Go ahead.”
“You came out of the coma then.” Nita started ticking things off on her fingers.
“Yes, that is correct.”
“And you didn’t remember Tom. The Lone Power had stolen those memories from you?”
“Yep.”
“So…how? How did you save a man you don’t even remember?”
“I was put in a perfect universe.” Carl said wryly, glowering slightly at Tom who had the gall to smile back. “Everything was right. My family was okay. I had the girl of my dreams. I was getting married. But in my heart of hearts I knew something was wrong…and I wasn’t alone in that.”
“Peach,” Nita whispered in awe.
Carl nods.
There wasn’t a night Carl didn’t dream about that door.
It was always the same sequence of events: first the darkness, then the light, then the Door, and then the dog.
It was the dog that wouldn’t let him pass.
Carl tried talking to it, reasoning with it, pleading with it… There had to be something important behind that Door!
But still there was nothing except razor sharp teeth being bared in warning.
And when he awoke the next morning, he couldn’t remember any of it-except that it was important, that he should recall it-and without it came a crushing disappointment.
In his current state, however, he couldn’t begin to understand just how important it was...
“All right, Tom, it’s your turn.”
“Mine?” Tom asked, looking at him askance.
“Yes. Before I go any further I think you need to explain to Nita how it was you vanished in the first place.”
Tom glanced at her, “She’s not going to like it.”
Nita did her best to appear encouraging, “Try me.”
“You’re not going to like it anymore than he did, trust me.”
Carl’s hand landed on Tom’s shoulder. “Just tell it.”
“Okay, here it goes…” He chewed at his bottom lip. “But where to start? I suppose before I even met Carl. It was a month prior then…”
August 29th, 1978
Two boys were playing soccer on a grass field.
“But why can’t we be friends anymore, Jake?” One of the boys, Tom, asks, passing the ball.
The other boy Jacob chuckles, kicking the soccer ball ahead of them.
“I’ve explained this before, Tom,” he replies patiently.
“Just one more time, please?”
Tom glances over at his blonde-haired, brown-eyed friend. They had been inseparable since high school. In Tom’s opinion, Jake embodied the California standard of a ‘surfer boy.’ Always wore trunks and a tee, never seemed to be affected by the weather, even while living in San Francisco.
“Well, we’ll be on separate coasts for one: the Atlantic versus the Pacific.” Jacob began amiably.
“What difference does that make? We can still keep in touch!” Tom pants, trying to get his foot between the other boy’s legs, but Jacob is too quick for him.
“Tom, you’re gonna meet someone, your Partner in Wizardry, soon. I can’t come between that.” Jake shoots and scores at their makeshift goal of t-shirts.
“Why can’t it be you? My Partner I mean... Why can’t you be my Partner? You’re my best friend in everything else!”
“Your Wizardry and mine aren’t compatible. You know that.” From somewhere unseen, Jacob pulls out a water bottle and squirts some in his mouth as Tom runs to grab the ball.
“Maybe not! Maybe we can make it work…” Tom shouts over his shoulder.
Jacob shakes his head sadly. “No, Tom, we can’t.”
Tom comes back and hands him the checkered ball. “But no contact at all? Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?”
“It’ll all make sense soon.” Jacob just smiles his sunny smile. “You’ll be too busy with your new Life to even notice I’m gone.”
“That’s not true either.” Tom frowned.
Jake tilted his head, with a glazed faraway look in his eye. “Yes, yes it is.” He sets the ball on the ground and gives it a good kick to Tom.
Tom hesitantly passes the ball back to him. It was that faraway look that instigated this whole thing days ago.
They say nothing more as they concentrate on their game of one-on-one.
“Whatever,” Tom tries to appear nonchalant, breathing hard and reaching for a towel once they were done, “Just take care of yourself, okay?”
“You do the same.”
Tom swallowed hard and looked away.
An arm came to rest over his shoulders as they walked away from the field.
“He’ll come to mean more to you than I ever will, trust me.”
“Why’d you have to be a Seer?” Tom questioned the heavens loudly, drawing a few looks from the crowds.
December 24th, Christmas Eve, 1978
“He’s dying, Jake.” Tom, head in his hands, sat on the end of his bed where Carl lay bleeding. He had tried all in his power to staunch the flow but in vain. Somehow Wizardry had no effect upon these injuries.
Through telepathy he had called out to other Wizards he knew-those whose specialty was healing-but he had never felt so disconnected as he realized his thoughts reverberated back to him without ever making contact. He shuddered. It had taken all his effort just to teleport back to here and Jacob, who mysteriously had been waiting for him.
“This is the Lone Power’s doing.” Tom stated matter-of-factly, seething inside. “This is the Lone Power’s fault. But why Carl, Jake? Why him? And don’t give me the ‘death doesn’t pick or choose’ speech or ‘there’s a time for everyone’… I know there’s a specific reason!”
Jacob, leaning against the wall, looked down upon a moaning Carl and shook his head in a mixture of knowing and pity.
“Fine, I don’t need to know... just tell me how to save him!” Tom snapped at last when Jacob remained silent. He pressed down hard on Carl, still trying to stop the flow.
“This wasn’t just the Lone Power’s doing,” Jacob said carefully. “Nor that of the One’s, as far as I can tell.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?! How can it not be the One’s? Doesn’t It reside over everything?!”
“Because It won’t interfere with free will, Tom. Carl chose this path. He made that decision on his own. The Lone One was merely a tool for something greater...what I cannot tell you.”
“You won’t tell me as in you don’t know or as in you just won’t.”
Jacob remained silent.
“But why him, Jake? Why?”
“It’s just his fate,” Jacob shrugs uneasily but Tom can tell there’s more to it than that.
“I don’t buy it.” Tom seethes in anger. “His death has no purpose, serves no purpose!”
“You don’t know that,” Jacob counters gently.
“YES I DO!!!” Yelled Tom at Jacob, and then to the Heavens, “GIVE HIM BACK!!!”
It was quiet. Too quiet. Until Tom gave a heart wrenching sob.
Jacob broke in gently, “Does any death serve a purpose Tom?”
“If you’re going to lecture me on ‘everything happens for a reason,’ I’d just as soon not hear it. Can we please cut with the philosophical crap? ”
“Of course you won’t want to hear it. No one ever does,” Jacob said, ignoring the rest. He was silent for a moment, until...
“How much would you give up for him?” Jacob asks carefully.
“What?” Tom replies, confused at the sudden change of topic.
“I said, ‘How much would you give up for him?’” Jacob’s steady gaze revealed nothing.
“I heard you the first time!” Tom snapped, and then took a shaky breath before hearing himself voice four words: “I’d give up everything!”
Tom blinked in surprise. Those forceful words... he had no idea where they came from.
Yet, as each moment passed, and the more he thought about it, the more certain he was...
The more he believed...
“Everything, are you sure?” Jacob finally asks after a long while.
“Yes!” Tom declared. “Anything that I ever felt was important to me! I’d give up my Wizardry, no even more than that-I’d... I’d give up my Life!” Tom finishes without hesitation.
“Would you give up your soul?” Jacob asks in a voice so small and wavering and already filled with regret that Tom almost misses it entirely.
Jacob takes another breath and asks in a rush before Tom could respond...
“Tom, what are you doing here?”
“What do you mean what am I doing here?! I came here for help-your help-why aren’t you helping him?!”
“I can’t help him.” Jacob replied smoothly and a little coldly. “And you didn’t answer my question. What are you really doing here?”
“I don’t understand...”
Jacob just looked at him and Tom remembered, “He’ll come to mean more to you than I ever will...”
Tom felt faint. He had only known Carl for little over three months now versus Jake whom he’d known for three years.
So why was he so willing to give up his Life for him-and maybe more?
“Why indeed,” Jacob mused. “I know you Tom, you’d give up your Life for a stranger-that’s just how you are. But remember, this is far more than your Life...”
Jacob was right.
But Carl was his Partner in Wizardry, even if he had done little more than take the Oath, and Tom also...
And he...
Tom derailed that train of thought, leaving it there, not willing to go that distance quite yet.
...but what if that’s what it took?
Something was wrong here, very wrong.
And Tom had to fix it.
“It’s me right?” Tom knows now. “Only I can save him.”
Jacob nods.
Tom kneels next to the bed.
He looks at Carl, how his breathing is so shallow, his heartbeat faint, and Tom knows he was hanging onto Life only by the Life energy Tom was feeding him... which was draining his own Life in the process.
Not even asking a question, the answer came to him in a heartbeat-and somehow, he’d always known.
“What do I do?” he whispers fiercely to Jacob with an intensity at odds with the way he tenderly pushed back Carl’s sweat-matted hair from his face. “How do I save his Life?”
When no answer came immediately forthwith he looked up to Jacob expectantly. “How do I make the Payment?”
Jacob flinches and hesitates.
“Dammit Jake, how do I do it?!” Tom pleads, feeling Carl slipping away from him faster and faster...
“First,” Jacob began slowly, “call your dog.”
There’s a pause in which Tom simply stares at Jacob.
“My dog,” he deadpans. “My dog’s not a Wizard, I’ve checked...”
“Nevertheless, we’ll need his help.”
“Okay...” Tom trails off, before his resolve firms. He eases Carl’s head from his lap and jumps off the bed to go open the door.
“Jake! Here Jake!” It was a running gag between them that on the day they met, his parents had given him a dog named Jake.
“Jake come! Jake!” Tom whistles.
After a while, Tom wonders what’s wrong; he knows his dog is out and about somewhere.
Then he hears a bark behind him.
Startled, he turns around back into his room.
His dog was sitting there watching him...
But where was the human Jacob?
Tom searched the room over.
He’d vanished completely.
“Jake?” Tom called out uncertainly.
The dog looks up at his name.
Then it hits Tom, it finally hits him, and he wonders why he never thought of it before...
“No way,” he whispers in denial.
He faces his dog.
“You have got to be kidding me.”
Tom backs away slowly
A tail wags.
Now that he thought about it, they did look similar: brown eyes, sandy blonde hair...
And then it all comes back to him because Jacob had never been to his house at the same time as his dog. And they never went to Jacob’s house at all, all these years, because of a hundred different excuses that worked on him every time.
He never questioned it, never thought he was being manipulated.
No wonder Jacob had said their Wizardry wasn’t compatible.
“No way, there is just no way...” Tom lets the words hang in the air while he shakes his head, refusing to believe this, and tries to find the door.
But then he realizes that the dog is in between him and Carl.
And that isn’t tolerable.
Moving around the room he kept to the walls, not going near the canine.
His dog-Jacob-simply holds up a paw disarmingly.
Still there’s no communication between them.
A loud moan breaks Tom’s concentration. He watches helplessly as Carl’s body goes rigid and his soul gets ready to flee this world.
Jake barks commandingly.
And in that moment, Tom remembers his Oath.
“Show me the way, Jake."
With those words Time ripples and slows then stops. Space stretches itself out.
A golden Door appears.
Tom steps closer.
Words of the Speech are engraved on the handle.
And Tom knows what it is immediately.
It’s an Oath.
Tom steps closer and clasps his hand around the handle. Taking a deep breath he begins...
“In this World without Words...” He starts off slowly, careful to pronounce every syllable. “I speak all Words and all that they define in Words that are my own.”
He turns to look at Carl-with the words seared on his soul he no longer needs to read it-but he doesn’t dare step away from the Door. He doesn’t know what would happen if he did...
“I leave now with the World waiting for you,” he turns back to the golden Door, tears in his eyes, but still determined. “May tomorrow find me not, never to meet again, not even in dreams. Let this be Truth. I swear that my Will won’t change.
“I cannot speak about tomorrow, I cannot speak about today, and I can no longer speak about yesterday. The past, present, future is beyond me now. I choose to forget all these things. I shall not regret it. Let everything be reborn and returned to peace. I will not lose my way. How far I will go, I do not know. I only know this,” The Door opened. With this Tom looks back one more time and when he last speaks, the words are his...
“That I knew happiness.”
And with those words he throws away who he is.
He walks through the open Door.
And the dog Jake follows behind him.
________________________________________________________________________
“Things once in contact continue to interact after separation.”
“Wait a second, Carl.”
“Sure Nita,” Carl reached for his coffee gratefully, draining the rest of it and sinking back into the sofa. “What is it?”
“Let me just try to get things straight.”
Carl waves a hand at her to continue, “Go ahead.”
“You came out of the coma then.” Nita started ticking things off on her fingers.
“Yes, that is correct.”
“And you didn’t remember Tom. The Lone Power had stolen those memories from you?”
“Yep.”
“So…how? How did you save a man you don’t even remember?”
“I was put in a perfect universe.” Carl said wryly, glowering slightly at Tom who had the gall to smile back. “Everything was right. My family was okay. I had the girl of my dreams. I was getting married. But in my heart of hearts I knew something was wrong…and I wasn’t alone in that.”
“Peach,” Nita whispered in awe.
Carl nods.
There wasn’t a night Carl didn’t dream about that door.
It was always the same sequence of events: first the darkness, then the light, then the Door, and then the dog.
It was the dog that wouldn’t let him pass.
Carl tried talking to it, reasoning with it, pleading with it… There had to be something important behind that Door!
But still there was nothing except razor sharp teeth being bared in warning.
And when he awoke the next morning, he couldn’t remember any of it-except that it was important, that he should recall it-and without it came a crushing disappointment.
In his current state, however, he couldn’t begin to understand just how important it was...
“All right, Tom, it’s your turn.”
“Mine?” Tom asked, looking at him askance.
“Yes. Before I go any further I think you need to explain to Nita how it was you vanished in the first place.”
Tom glanced at her, “She’s not going to like it.”
Nita did her best to appear encouraging, “Try me.”
“You’re not going to like it anymore than he did, trust me.”
Carl’s hand landed on Tom’s shoulder. “Just tell it.”
“Okay, here it goes…” He chewed at his bottom lip. “But where to start? I suppose before I even met Carl. It was a month prior then…”
August 29th, 1978
Two boys were playing soccer on a grass field.
“But why can’t we be friends anymore, Jake?” One of the boys, Tom, asks, passing the ball.
The other boy Jacob chuckles, kicking the soccer ball ahead of them.
“I’ve explained this before, Tom,” he replies patiently.
“Just one more time, please?”
Tom glances over at his blonde-haired, brown-eyed friend. They had been inseparable since high school. In Tom’s opinion, Jake embodied the California standard of a ‘surfer boy.’ Always wore trunks and a tee, never seemed to be affected by the weather, even while living in San Francisco.
“Well, we’ll be on separate coasts for one: the Atlantic versus the Pacific.” Jacob began amiably.
“What difference does that make? We can still keep in touch!” Tom pants, trying to get his foot between the other boy’s legs, but Jacob is too quick for him.
“Tom, you’re gonna meet someone, your Partner in Wizardry, soon. I can’t come between that.” Jake shoots and scores at their makeshift goal of t-shirts.
“Why can’t it be you? My Partner I mean... Why can’t you be my Partner? You’re my best friend in everything else!”
“Your Wizardry and mine aren’t compatible. You know that.” From somewhere unseen, Jacob pulls out a water bottle and squirts some in his mouth as Tom runs to grab the ball.
“Maybe not! Maybe we can make it work…” Tom shouts over his shoulder.
Jacob shakes his head sadly. “No, Tom, we can’t.”
Tom comes back and hands him the checkered ball. “But no contact at all? Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?”
“It’ll all make sense soon.” Jacob just smiles his sunny smile. “You’ll be too busy with your new Life to even notice I’m gone.”
“That’s not true either.” Tom frowned.
Jake tilted his head, with a glazed faraway look in his eye. “Yes, yes it is.” He sets the ball on the ground and gives it a good kick to Tom.
Tom hesitantly passes the ball back to him. It was that faraway look that instigated this whole thing days ago.
They say nothing more as they concentrate on their game of one-on-one.
“Whatever,” Tom tries to appear nonchalant, breathing hard and reaching for a towel once they were done, “Just take care of yourself, okay?”
“You do the same.”
Tom swallowed hard and looked away.
An arm came to rest over his shoulders as they walked away from the field.
“He’ll come to mean more to you than I ever will, trust me.”
“Why’d you have to be a Seer?” Tom questioned the heavens loudly, drawing a few looks from the crowds.
December 24th, Christmas Eve, 1978
“He’s dying, Jake.” Tom, head in his hands, sat on the end of his bed where Carl lay bleeding. He had tried all in his power to staunch the flow but in vain. Somehow Wizardry had no effect upon these injuries.
Through telepathy he had called out to other Wizards he knew-those whose specialty was healing-but he had never felt so disconnected as he realized his thoughts reverberated back to him without ever making contact. He shuddered. It had taken all his effort just to teleport back to here and Jacob, who mysteriously had been waiting for him.
“This is the Lone Power’s doing.” Tom stated matter-of-factly, seething inside. “This is the Lone Power’s fault. But why Carl, Jake? Why him? And don’t give me the ‘death doesn’t pick or choose’ speech or ‘there’s a time for everyone’… I know there’s a specific reason!”
Jacob, leaning against the wall, looked down upon a moaning Carl and shook his head in a mixture of knowing and pity.
“Fine, I don’t need to know... just tell me how to save him!” Tom snapped at last when Jacob remained silent. He pressed down hard on Carl, still trying to stop the flow.
“This wasn’t just the Lone Power’s doing,” Jacob said carefully. “Nor that of the One’s, as far as I can tell.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?! How can it not be the One’s? Doesn’t It reside over everything?!”
“Because It won’t interfere with free will, Tom. Carl chose this path. He made that decision on his own. The Lone One was merely a tool for something greater...what I cannot tell you.”
“You won’t tell me as in you don’t know or as in you just won’t.”
Jacob remained silent.
“But why him, Jake? Why?”
“It’s just his fate,” Jacob shrugs uneasily but Tom can tell there’s more to it than that.
“I don’t buy it.” Tom seethes in anger. “His death has no purpose, serves no purpose!”
“You don’t know that,” Jacob counters gently.
“YES I DO!!!” Yelled Tom at Jacob, and then to the Heavens, “GIVE HIM BACK!!!”
It was quiet. Too quiet. Until Tom gave a heart wrenching sob.
Jacob broke in gently, “Does any death serve a purpose Tom?”
“If you’re going to lecture me on ‘everything happens for a reason,’ I’d just as soon not hear it. Can we please cut with the philosophical crap? ”
“Of course you won’t want to hear it. No one ever does,” Jacob said, ignoring the rest. He was silent for a moment, until...
“How much would you give up for him?” Jacob asks carefully.
“What?” Tom replies, confused at the sudden change of topic.
“I said, ‘How much would you give up for him?’” Jacob’s steady gaze revealed nothing.
“I heard you the first time!” Tom snapped, and then took a shaky breath before hearing himself voice four words: “I’d give up everything!”
Tom blinked in surprise. Those forceful words... he had no idea where they came from.
Yet, as each moment passed, and the more he thought about it, the more certain he was...
The more he believed...
“Everything, are you sure?” Jacob finally asks after a long while.
“Yes!” Tom declared. “Anything that I ever felt was important to me! I’d give up my Wizardry, no even more than that-I’d... I’d give up my Life!” Tom finishes without hesitation.
“Would you give up your soul?” Jacob asks in a voice so small and wavering and already filled with regret that Tom almost misses it entirely.
Jacob takes another breath and asks in a rush before Tom could respond...
“Tom, what are you doing here?”
“What do you mean what am I doing here?! I came here for help-your help-why aren’t you helping him?!”
“I can’t help him.” Jacob replied smoothly and a little coldly. “And you didn’t answer my question. What are you really doing here?”
“I don’t understand...”
Jacob just looked at him and Tom remembered, “He’ll come to mean more to you than I ever will...”
Tom felt faint. He had only known Carl for little over three months now versus Jake whom he’d known for three years.
So why was he so willing to give up his Life for him-and maybe more?
“Why indeed,” Jacob mused. “I know you Tom, you’d give up your Life for a stranger-that’s just how you are. But remember, this is far more than your Life...”
Jacob was right.
But Carl was his Partner in Wizardry, even if he had done little more than take the Oath, and Tom also...
And he...
Tom derailed that train of thought, leaving it there, not willing to go that distance quite yet.
...but what if that’s what it took?
Something was wrong here, very wrong.
And Tom had to fix it.
“It’s me right?” Tom knows now. “Only I can save him.”
Jacob nods.
Tom kneels next to the bed.
He looks at Carl, how his breathing is so shallow, his heartbeat faint, and Tom knows he was hanging onto Life only by the Life energy Tom was feeding him... which was draining his own Life in the process.
Not even asking a question, the answer came to him in a heartbeat-and somehow, he’d always known.
“What do I do?” he whispers fiercely to Jacob with an intensity at odds with the way he tenderly pushed back Carl’s sweat-matted hair from his face. “How do I save his Life?”
When no answer came immediately forthwith he looked up to Jacob expectantly. “How do I make the Payment?”
Jacob flinches and hesitates.
“Dammit Jake, how do I do it?!” Tom pleads, feeling Carl slipping away from him faster and faster...
“First,” Jacob began slowly, “call your dog.”
There’s a pause in which Tom simply stares at Jacob.
“My dog,” he deadpans. “My dog’s not a Wizard, I’ve checked...”
“Nevertheless, we’ll need his help.”
“Okay...” Tom trails off, before his resolve firms. He eases Carl’s head from his lap and jumps off the bed to go open the door.
“Jake! Here Jake!” It was a running gag between them that on the day they met, his parents had given him a dog named Jake.
“Jake come! Jake!” Tom whistles.
After a while, Tom wonders what’s wrong; he knows his dog is out and about somewhere.
Then he hears a bark behind him.
Startled, he turns around back into his room.
His dog was sitting there watching him...
But where was the human Jacob?
Tom searched the room over.
He’d vanished completely.
“Jake?” Tom called out uncertainly.
The dog looks up at his name.
Then it hits Tom, it finally hits him, and he wonders why he never thought of it before...
“No way,” he whispers in denial.
He faces his dog.
“You have got to be kidding me.”
Tom backs away slowly
A tail wags.
Now that he thought about it, they did look similar: brown eyes, sandy blonde hair...
And then it all comes back to him because Jacob had never been to his house at the same time as his dog. And they never went to Jacob’s house at all, all these years, because of a hundred different excuses that worked on him every time.
He never questioned it, never thought he was being manipulated.
No wonder Jacob had said their Wizardry wasn’t compatible.
“No way, there is just no way...” Tom lets the words hang in the air while he shakes his head, refusing to believe this, and tries to find the door.
But then he realizes that the dog is in between him and Carl.
And that isn’t tolerable.
Moving around the room he kept to the walls, not going near the canine.
His dog-Jacob-simply holds up a paw disarmingly.
Still there’s no communication between them.
A loud moan breaks Tom’s concentration. He watches helplessly as Carl’s body goes rigid and his soul gets ready to flee this world.
Jake barks commandingly.
And in that moment, Tom remembers his Oath.
“Show me the way, Jake."
With those words Time ripples and slows then stops. Space stretches itself out.
A golden Door appears.
Tom steps closer.
Words of the Speech are engraved on the handle.
And Tom knows what it is immediately.
It’s an Oath.
Tom steps closer and clasps his hand around the handle. Taking a deep breath he begins...
“In this World without Words...” He starts off slowly, careful to pronounce every syllable. “I speak all Words and all that they define in Words that are my own.”
He turns to look at Carl-with the words seared on his soul he no longer needs to read it-but he doesn’t dare step away from the Door. He doesn’t know what would happen if he did...
“I leave now with the World waiting for you,” he turns back to the golden Door, tears in his eyes, but still determined. “May tomorrow find me not, never to meet again, not even in dreams. Let this be Truth. I swear that my Will won’t change.
“I cannot speak about tomorrow, I cannot speak about today, and I can no longer speak about yesterday. The past, present, future is beyond me now. I choose to forget all these things. I shall not regret it. Let everything be reborn and returned to peace. I will not lose my way. How far I will go, I do not know. I only know this,” The Door opened. With this Tom looks back one more time and when he last speaks, the words are his...
“That I knew happiness.”
And with those words he throws away who he is.
He walks through the open Door.
And the dog Jake follows behind him.
________________________________________________________________________