My life...
Well, I know that LJ is pretty public, but I freaking don't care. This is a journal, right? So I can post whatever I want and, now, I wanna complain about my fucking family! Let's complain cause who doesn't like it?
So, my family. I do everything for them: Cleaning, work, being nice, listening, cooking and other shit like that and what did I get back? ABSOLUTLY NOTHING!! Well, almost nothing. See, I have two brothers, a sister and a mother. My brothers are 7 and 14 years old. They are just super annoying and mean with me. I know they love me but... They just (especially the older) make fun of me everytime they can. "Haha you're watching smosh again? That's just stupid!" or "Hey Juju, you love gay guys? You're such an idiot" or "Shut up, I don't care, you're ugly". That's what I hear all day long!! Thank god when they're at school. It's like a liberation!! And my sister, 16 years old. She doesn't help at all. You know those fucking bitches who just talk about their clothes or about themself and who complain about EVERYONE, well that's what she is. "Oh man my hair are ugly!" "Oh od I'm so fat!" "This girl is a bitch" "I don't like my dog, he smells" Yeah guess why, IT'S A FREAKING DOG! I'm the total opposite of her. I don't really care about my appearance, I don't have 100 pairs of shoes and I love my friends.
Now, my mom. Oh mom... I love you, but you are sooo in my vital space right now. "Do you need to talk?" "Do you need to see a psy?" "Do you write your book? Cause fanfictions don't bring money." Yeah, I need to talk, but not to you. No, I don't need to see a psy, I'm ok. I have my friends if a need to see someone and I studying in psychology so I know what are my problem. And my book, I love writing when I want it. Stop pushing me! That block my inspiration! How am I suppose to write when you breath on my shoulder to see what I'm doing, huh? Gah! And stop acting like if I was going to kill myself. I won't okay! Why can't you get it? I love life! I just hate mine. That's why I want to live far away from here. Somewhere like California, Texas or in an other place of Canada. I just wanna have a good life when I'll leave the house. I don't want for my childrens to live what I lived. That would be horrible.
Since my dad kill himself. I totally fucked my life. My note dropped, I've started to became mean with my friends and I stopped writing. I'm lucky to still have friends and I apologize for have been an ass-hole. I just wish I could talk to them but... they can't understand what I live. Now, I'm at the cegep and I'm starting to feel better about myself and my mistakes, but my family just can't understand it! For them, I'm a maid or a stupid and naive girl. That piss me off.
I restarted writing. I love it. See our words, feelings and secrets spread over a surface at the same time as your hand moves. First there is nothing, and suddenly it's registered. It's like an amazing magic. I hope I'll finish a book soon. That would be amazing and will help me to move out of here! I know that when I'll read this post in some days I'll be like "What? Why did I post that? God, I'm so whining!" but I just needed to write it.
If you actually read all this stuff well... thank you and if you didn't, I can't blame you. Sorry for the mistakes, but I think you already get the fact that I don't care about it right now and, one more time, english isn't my first language. I just wanted to let off steam a bit. Of course, I didn't wrote all my problems. Some are just too private for being posted here. So... see you later!
Daphnée
PS: I'm actually writing a fanfiction about smosh. It's a smut about christmas! ^.^ But it'll be a bit late. I'll probably post it like... the december 27 or 28. Thank you for everything!
So, my family. I do everything for them: Cleaning, work, being nice, listening, cooking and other shit like that and what did I get back? ABSOLUTLY NOTHING!! Well, almost nothing. See, I have two brothers, a sister and a mother. My brothers are 7 and 14 years old. They are just super annoying and mean with me. I know they love me but... They just (especially the older) make fun of me everytime they can. "Haha you're watching smosh again? That's just stupid!" or "Hey Juju, you love gay guys? You're such an idiot" or "Shut up, I don't care, you're ugly". That's what I hear all day long!! Thank god when they're at school. It's like a liberation!! And my sister, 16 years old. She doesn't help at all. You know those fucking bitches who just talk about their clothes or about themself and who complain about EVERYONE, well that's what she is. "Oh man my hair are ugly!" "Oh od I'm so fat!" "This girl is a bitch" "I don't like my dog, he smells" Yeah guess why, IT'S A FREAKING DOG! I'm the total opposite of her. I don't really care about my appearance, I don't have 100 pairs of shoes and I love my friends.
Now, my mom. Oh mom... I love you, but you are sooo in my vital space right now. "Do you need to talk?" "Do you need to see a psy?" "Do you write your book? Cause fanfictions don't bring money." Yeah, I need to talk, but not to you. No, I don't need to see a psy, I'm ok. I have my friends if a need to see someone and I studying in psychology so I know what are my problem. And my book, I love writing when I want it. Stop pushing me! That block my inspiration! How am I suppose to write when you breath on my shoulder to see what I'm doing, huh? Gah! And stop acting like if I was going to kill myself. I won't okay! Why can't you get it? I love life! I just hate mine. That's why I want to live far away from here. Somewhere like California, Texas or in an other place of Canada. I just wanna have a good life when I'll leave the house. I don't want for my childrens to live what I lived. That would be horrible.
Since my dad kill himself. I totally fucked my life. My note dropped, I've started to became mean with my friends and I stopped writing. I'm lucky to still have friends and I apologize for have been an ass-hole. I just wish I could talk to them but... they can't understand what I live. Now, I'm at the cegep and I'm starting to feel better about myself and my mistakes, but my family just can't understand it! For them, I'm a maid or a stupid and naive girl. That piss me off.
I restarted writing. I love it. See our words, feelings and secrets spread over a surface at the same time as your hand moves. First there is nothing, and suddenly it's registered. It's like an amazing magic. I hope I'll finish a book soon. That would be amazing and will help me to move out of here! I know that when I'll read this post in some days I'll be like "What? Why did I post that? God, I'm so whining!" but I just needed to write it.
If you actually read all this stuff well... thank you and if you didn't, I can't blame you. Sorry for the mistakes, but I think you already get the fact that I don't care about it right now and, one more time, english isn't my first language. I just wanted to let off steam a bit. Of course, I didn't wrote all my problems. Some are just too private for being posted here. So... see you later!
Daphnée
PS: I'm actually writing a fanfiction about smosh. It's a smut about christmas! ^.^ But it'll be a bit late. I'll probably post it like... the december 27 or 28. Thank you for everything!