White Collar Fic - Remembering
Fandom: White Collar
Summary: Sara remembers, Neal's there to hold her.
Disclaimer: Ha, yeah, no, that's hilarious, really.
Warnings: un-beta'd.
Pairings: Sara/Neal, completely gen.
Words: 1,031
Notes: I don't usually write anything involving any type of romance. I hate it in fiction so much that I don't usually focus on pairings. But there was this awesome prompt on wc_women_fest written by sahiya that can be found here that just totally sucked me in.
One more thing, before I wrote this, I was not a fan of Sara. After I finished, I don't hate her as much as I used to. In fact, I may even like her now. The wonders of fanfiction. Anyway, on the the story.
-000-
For all the things that Neal did know about Sara, there were more things that he didn’t know. He could see the obvious: she was beautiful, intelligent; perfectly capable of holding her own in the world. She was independent; a role that Neal suspected was forced on her since her parents had died when she a teenager.
She didn’t cling to pain; she dealt to it, learned from it and moved on. She was easily the strongest woman he knew. So the fact that she was sobbing in his arms was enough to put him on edge.
He didn’t even know what happened; he answered the knock on his door and she fell into his arms as she wept with quiet, gut-wrenching gasps. After a few failed attempts to find out what the matter was, he gave up and just sat her on the edge of the bed and held her.
It took her more than a half-hour for her to finally calm down to only stuttering breaths. Neal untangled himself and brought a glass of water and made sure she drained the entire glass. He grabbed a handkerchief that he usually used to cover things up and dabbed her tears away. Her eyes were red and blotched and her makeup had added trails of tears, but to him she still looked beautiful.
“Whenever you want to tell,” he said simply and moved again to wrap his arms around her waist and to lay his head on her shoulders. She leaned back, so she rested her entire weight on him and Neal took it gladly.
They sat there without saying a word, Sara breaths eventually evened out and she just seemed hollowed out.
Neal's mind wondered in the silence. Sara was unlike any woman he had even known. Kate was almost the exact opposite, so much so that Mozzie was surprised when he started getting serious about Sara. Given his past history with women, there was no reason that Sara should stand out, and if Neal was honest, he didn’t even know what attracted him to Sara Ellis.
Maybe it was the fact that she was in equal amounts both determined and stubborn. She hadn’t let him forget about the Raphael that he (allegedly) stole and that she fully intended to get it back. Even though recently, it was always said with a glint in her eye, somehow he knew she was serious.
“I miss her so much.”
Sara voice not only started him, but it was the raw pain that he responded to by holding her a bit tighter. Her breath hitched again. “I miss her so much, Neal.”
He didn’t ask who she was talking about because he already knew. She had only mentioned her sister once, but he could see how much she had loved her. “I’m so sorry, Sara.” It was whispered into her hair. He honestly had no idea what it was like; he was an only child himself, though he always wished he had a brother or a little sister.
“Tell me about her.”
She was silent for so long that Neal began to wonder if she had heard him. She then got up and headed for the bathroom. Neal could hear the water running as she tried to hide the evidence of her tears. On her way back, she grabbed some wine and poured two glasses, one of which she handed to Neal. Then she started talking.
“She was older than me by two years. I don’t ever remember getting along with her much until I turned nine. We were playing on the playground one day and I fell, and hit my head on the cement. Ally thought I was dead; she said I was too still.” Sara laughed lightly. “After that, she and I were practically inseparable, we went everywhere and did everything together. She told me later that she couldn’t describe how terrified she was as she watched me fall from the monkey bars.”
“It sounds like she was incredible,” Neal said softly.
“My mom was a busy woman,” Sara went on as if Neal hadn’t said anything. “She wasn’t around much when I was growing up, so whenever I had questions, I would always go to Ally. She always had the right answers, and she always knew what to say to me.” She lifted her head to look at Neal’s face. “After she disappeared, I wanted so badly to find her and I was worried out of my head, I refused give up hope. I was thirteen, but yet I looked everywhere. But eventually…” She trailed off and didn’t finish.
Neal could only begin to sympathize. He had been on a desperate search for Kate for a year, but even in that year, doubt of the love they’d once shared was there. He didn’t know how Kate felt for him in the last couple of years he spent in prison and with the FBI, and he would never actually know what her role in the whole Fowler mess was. But even Neal couldn’t imagine searching for somebody that he loved for so many years, and only to fail in the end.
“I loved her so much. I thought I was going to die, I never imagined I would go on without her, build a successful career or have anything that I have now.” She paused again, eyes wondering unseeing around Neal’s familiar apartment. “I never imagined I would move on.”
Another hitch of her breath was the only warning. “I’ve given up, Neal.” The tears were back, falling heedlessly down her face. She leaned into his embrace again. “I gave up on her.” Sara once again cried for the sister that she once lost and Neal’s heart broke a little too, for his girlfriend’s older sister that he would never meet.
Tomorrow, he would go to the FBI and talk to Peter. Surely there was something that they could do. Some closure that they could bring to Sara. She had no more family left, she was all along.
No, she’s not alone, Neal reminded himself. She’s got me. Once again, he tightened his hold on her and wouldn’t let her go.
Summary: Sara remembers, Neal's there to hold her.
Disclaimer: Ha, yeah, no, that's hilarious, really.
Warnings: un-beta'd.
Pairings: Sara/Neal, completely gen.
Words: 1,031
Notes: I don't usually write anything involving any type of romance. I hate it in fiction so much that I don't usually focus on pairings. But there was this awesome prompt on wc_women_fest written by sahiya that can be found here that just totally sucked me in.
One more thing, before I wrote this, I was not a fan of Sara. After I finished, I don't hate her as much as I used to. In fact, I may even like her now. The wonders of fanfiction. Anyway, on the the story.
-000-
For all the things that Neal did know about Sara, there were more things that he didn’t know. He could see the obvious: she was beautiful, intelligent; perfectly capable of holding her own in the world. She was independent; a role that Neal suspected was forced on her since her parents had died when she a teenager.
She didn’t cling to pain; she dealt to it, learned from it and moved on. She was easily the strongest woman he knew. So the fact that she was sobbing in his arms was enough to put him on edge.
He didn’t even know what happened; he answered the knock on his door and she fell into his arms as she wept with quiet, gut-wrenching gasps. After a few failed attempts to find out what the matter was, he gave up and just sat her on the edge of the bed and held her.
It took her more than a half-hour for her to finally calm down to only stuttering breaths. Neal untangled himself and brought a glass of water and made sure she drained the entire glass. He grabbed a handkerchief that he usually used to cover things up and dabbed her tears away. Her eyes were red and blotched and her makeup had added trails of tears, but to him she still looked beautiful.
“Whenever you want to tell,” he said simply and moved again to wrap his arms around her waist and to lay his head on her shoulders. She leaned back, so she rested her entire weight on him and Neal took it gladly.
They sat there without saying a word, Sara breaths eventually evened out and she just seemed hollowed out.
Neal's mind wondered in the silence. Sara was unlike any woman he had even known. Kate was almost the exact opposite, so much so that Mozzie was surprised when he started getting serious about Sara. Given his past history with women, there was no reason that Sara should stand out, and if Neal was honest, he didn’t even know what attracted him to Sara Ellis.
Maybe it was the fact that she was in equal amounts both determined and stubborn. She hadn’t let him forget about the Raphael that he (allegedly) stole and that she fully intended to get it back. Even though recently, it was always said with a glint in her eye, somehow he knew she was serious.
“I miss her so much.”
Sara voice not only started him, but it was the raw pain that he responded to by holding her a bit tighter. Her breath hitched again. “I miss her so much, Neal.”
He didn’t ask who she was talking about because he already knew. She had only mentioned her sister once, but he could see how much she had loved her. “I’m so sorry, Sara.” It was whispered into her hair. He honestly had no idea what it was like; he was an only child himself, though he always wished he had a brother or a little sister.
“Tell me about her.”
She was silent for so long that Neal began to wonder if she had heard him. She then got up and headed for the bathroom. Neal could hear the water running as she tried to hide the evidence of her tears. On her way back, she grabbed some wine and poured two glasses, one of which she handed to Neal. Then she started talking.
“She was older than me by two years. I don’t ever remember getting along with her much until I turned nine. We were playing on the playground one day and I fell, and hit my head on the cement. Ally thought I was dead; she said I was too still.” Sara laughed lightly. “After that, she and I were practically inseparable, we went everywhere and did everything together. She told me later that she couldn’t describe how terrified she was as she watched me fall from the monkey bars.”
“It sounds like she was incredible,” Neal said softly.
“My mom was a busy woman,” Sara went on as if Neal hadn’t said anything. “She wasn’t around much when I was growing up, so whenever I had questions, I would always go to Ally. She always had the right answers, and she always knew what to say to me.” She lifted her head to look at Neal’s face. “After she disappeared, I wanted so badly to find her and I was worried out of my head, I refused give up hope. I was thirteen, but yet I looked everywhere. But eventually…” She trailed off and didn’t finish.
Neal could only begin to sympathize. He had been on a desperate search for Kate for a year, but even in that year, doubt of the love they’d once shared was there. He didn’t know how Kate felt for him in the last couple of years he spent in prison and with the FBI, and he would never actually know what her role in the whole Fowler mess was. But even Neal couldn’t imagine searching for somebody that he loved for so many years, and only to fail in the end.
“I loved her so much. I thought I was going to die, I never imagined I would go on without her, build a successful career or have anything that I have now.” She paused again, eyes wondering unseeing around Neal’s familiar apartment. “I never imagined I would move on.”
Another hitch of her breath was the only warning. “I’ve given up, Neal.” The tears were back, falling heedlessly down her face. She leaned into his embrace again. “I gave up on her.” Sara once again cried for the sister that she once lost and Neal’s heart broke a little too, for his girlfriend’s older sister that he would never meet.
Tomorrow, he would go to the FBI and talk to Peter. Surely there was something that they could do. Some closure that they could bring to Sara. She had no more family left, she was all along.
No, she’s not alone, Neal reminded himself. She’s got me. Once again, he tightened his hold on her and wouldn’t let her go.