Application/Profile Information
OOC Information:
Name: Cakepan
Age: 20
AIM: cakepan90
MSN: N/A
Y!M: N/A
E-MAIL: munemune@comcast.net
IC Information:
Name: Clubs Deuce
Fandom: Homestuck/Midnight Crew
Timeline: Clubs is plucked from near the end of Intermission. This is the point when time starts getting screwy from Spades attempting to pry open Lord English’s vault with Crowbar’s crowbar.
Age: It’s not really known how old Deuce is. Regardless of how old he actually is, he doesn’t seem to physically age, just like any other citizen of Derse or Prospit.
Appearance: Clubs Deuce is very much an average citizen of Derse. He has a black carapace with a barcode tattooed onto one of his wrists, and white eyes. What sets him apart is that he is rather short and squat, measuring at only about half the height of an average Dersian. He also has no visible mouth. In terms of attire, he wears a snazzy black suit and hat combo, just like every other member of the Midnight Crew.
Abilities: Deuce is the Midnight Crew’s demolition expert. Although the usage of ”expert” may be dubious here, as he apparently isn’t even aware that C4 is a stable explosive and won’t explode under gunfire. Perhaps a better description of his role would be “likes to blow things up and usually does a pretty good job of it.” Other than that, he wields various blunt objects, such as his Crook of Felony or his bull penis cane, using them to dish out nefarious shin-drubbings. These, and various other objects, are stored in his deck of cards battledrobe. The battledrobe is simply a large wardrobe used for carrying things. Deuce holds it in his inventory at all times.
On a less violent note, Clubs can also play a mean oboe.
Personality: If any member of the Midnight Crew could qualify as innocent, Deuce would be it. Unlike his comrades, he lacks any real malicious intent. Even while interrogating a member of an opposing gang, the worst he could think to do was lightly tap them on the leg and switch their hat with his. Master of psychological torture, he ain’t. This being the case, he isn’t a terribly threatening figure, and will typically only be a danger to others entirely by accident or when following orders.
Deuce obeys these orders without sarcasm or complaint. He appears more than happy to help out his fellow crew mates whenever he is needed. That said, he often get a little side tracked when attempting to fulfill his orders. For example, he may stop to admire a large, finely crafted clock because it really is quite a lovely clock and he feels that it should be fondly regarded. He may also simply forget things altogether, which means that it’s usually not a good idea to give him more than one command at a time.
Typically, things don’t seem to faze Clubs. This is what makes him a fairly good explosives “expert.” Explosions don’t worry him and neither do most other things, including sneaking into a mansion to off some green torsos or being held at gun point. On the other hand, he may flip out over more trivial things that others would merely be disgusted or annoyed by, such as discovering that his cane of choice was, in fact, made out of bull penis.
Finally, like most other member of the Midnight Crew, Deuce has an extreme fondness for candy. He carries two licorice gummy bears around in his hat and takes the matter of keeping them safe very seriously. He also possesses scandalous reading materials that feature licorice as far as the eye can see, which he enjoys in private.
History: Long ago, Clubs Deuce was a mere Courtyard Droll living on Derse. This is a default for all sessions of the game Sburb, of which Clubs is a gaming construct. He served under an Archagent Jack Noir, alongside a Draconian Dignitary and a Hegemonic Brute. He followed the Archagent’s orders without question, and most likely assisted this Jack in getting their Black Queen exiled to the dead planet of Alternia. Unfortunately for them, not soon after Jack and his underlings were also exiled to the dusty remains of this once thriving civilization.
They may have been exiled together, wandering the desert with each other as company. Conversely, they could have been exiled separately, only to be reunited at a later date. This isn’t certain. What is certain, though, is that Jack eventually rebuilt civilization with his own two hands, formed the Midnight Crew and redubbed himself Spades Slick. He, along with his old underlings, now called Diamonds Droog, Hearts Boxcars and Clubs Deuce, became one of the most feared gang of mobsters in the entire city.
At some point, they partake in a non-canonical but nonetheless grand plotline against the protagonists of Problem Sleuth. This is only truly noteworthy because it is the first appearance of the Midnight Crew. It also demonstrates their musical talent with their special finishing move, Hive Ragtime: Fill ‘Em with Midnight.
Their actual canonical first appearance in Homestuck begins with Intermission, wherein they infiltrate the mansion of their time traveling adversaries, The Felt. The point of this outing is to get into the pool themed gang’s vault; any deaths that may be inflicted upon the members are just a bonus. Once inside, Clubs Deuce quickly manages to capture and detain a Felt member named Doze, who can slow down time for himself. This made his attempt at an interrogation an overwhelming failure. Droog then gives him orders to follow a specific path through the mansion, which Deuce does without question. Boxcars also contacts him to inform him that his destructive talents are needed. He amiably agrees, but later forgets about this request after finishing Droog’s instructions. Fortunately, these instructions result in Deuce offing two members of The Felt entirely by accident. After this, he absentmindedly wanders off and begins to follow a trail of blood. This leads him to the room of The Felt’s private tailor, who briefly holds him at gunpoint before Droog arrives and introduces said tailor to the butt of his gun. After this, the two go off toward the vault, where Boxcars is having a hell of a time dealing with the instable time loops caused by two Felt members. The situation doesn’t really improve until Slick shows up, however, ceasing this nonsense with a temporal artifact negating crowbar.
Slick then begins to pry the vault open, which is a terrible idea because it causes time to go all out of whack. Spades is transported to a timeline where every member of the Midnight Crew except for him is dead. It’s uncertain what happened to the other crew members of the proper timeline after this point.
Roleplay Sample - Log: This place wasn’t very pretty, Deuce thought as he wandered around the strange new area that he had awoken in. It was all very grey and white and metallic. Even the new necklace he had received wasn’t very attractive. He supposed that it was impressive that it was really smooth and all, but he didn’t like it that much.
Idly, he wondered where on earth Slick or Droog or Boxcars could be. It would have been really great if they were here. Not because he wanted them to be in this really boring place, but because it would have been really nice to see them! He was confused and kind of didn’t know what to do and oh -
Oh!
Deuce stopped as he noticed the doorway that lead into an area that was much larger than anything he had seen yet. He wasted no time in entering it and exploring around. There were actually interesting things in here! Games and sports things and even - yes - even art supplies! His eyes were alight with excitement as he pulled out some crayons and paper.
Happily he scribbled away, preparing drawings that he supposed might lend a little color to this place.
Roleplay Sample - Journal: [Deuce is screwing around with the communications device, trying to get it to work like the 10-4 cards that he is familiar with and can actually operate. He’s not doing a terribly good job, but through some miracle he has somehow gotten it to start recording a video.]
Um.
Oh!
Hi.
[He gives the device a little wave.]
This is working now, right?
[He looks over the device again, and shakes it as though that will prove something. Apparently it does, and he continues.]
Anyway, if people are watching this…
I’m Clubs Deuce! Aaaand I’m sort of confused.
Questions? Comments? Crazed and creative statements? Those go here.
Although it is rarely used, or seen, Clubs can also apparently use some sort of shadow based magic.
I’m not including the above in the abilities section because it’s only ever seen in the aforementioned non-canonical adventure and is never actually seen in his canon appearances. I’m going to include this detail here, however, as I feel it’s at least worth mentioning.
Overall Info: Rating: G - R
Death: Discuss with me beforehand.
Smut: Short answer: no. Long answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Yaoi - Het - Yuri: No to all. I'd rather not get Deuce involved in any sort of romantic relationship.
Relationships: None as of yet. Will be edited as relationships form.