Deviant Muses May Topic: Baby
Character Name: John Kramer AKA Jigsaw
Origin: Saw (series of films)
Word Count: 448
Character’s LJ: deathangeljohn
Rating: PG-13 (implied violence and het and slash relationships)
Prompt: Baby
Mun Note: This ficlet is AU and RP-based.
It had torn John apart, the loss of his unborn son. With his precious little Gideon gone, life had had scant meaning until he learned to appreciate it again through still more suffering. Cancer, attempted suicide, the end of his marriage to Jill…
He had so wanted that little boy; his and Jill’s baby had been carefully planned, and adored from the moment of conception. Everything was about Gideon - John would stop and smile in the middle of making or buying things for his longed-for child and just imagine how perfect he would be when he drew his first breath. He would be a beautiful baby, John knew, combining the best traits of father and mother. Gideon would be blonde and pale, calm and intelligent, with a radiant smile and infinite patience. There was so much John was going to teach his son when he was old enough…
But thanks to that drug-addled Cecil, Gideon never had a chance to grow, or learn, or even live. One slam of a door and that innocent little soul was gone forever.
Sometimes John still woke up at night in a cold sweat, aching for his child. Heartbroken, wishing his beloved son had been born and was alive right now, in his arms. Not as the boy John had never got to know, strangely enough, but as a tiny baby, given a new start at life. He could almost feel soft baby skin under his hands and smell the scent of powder and silky baby hair. There were times he would weep silent tears - very little could make him cry these days, but the pain at missing the son he never knew was unbearable when it hit him hard.
He had told both Amanda and Zep that he had lost a child, and he knew that both his lovers felt sad for him. They were always so affectionate with him at these difficult times - their caresses gentle and their kisses passionate as they held him close to them. John tried to hide the depth of his grief from them - dwelling on the past was futile, and went against the doctrine of appreciating life that John held fast to - but he knew that they could tell he was hurting. He knew that Zep especially was affected - the orderly had a tender, nurturing side that had been evident from the start, when John had been a patient in the hospital where Zep worked.
Amanda wasn’t so fond of children, but sometimes John wondered if Zep might go so far as to attempt to steal a baby. Zep had often spoken of how he’d love to replace everything that John had lost, after all.
Origin: Saw (series of films)
Word Count: 448
Character’s LJ: deathangeljohn
Rating: PG-13 (implied violence and het and slash relationships)
Prompt: Baby
Mun Note: This ficlet is AU and RP-based.
It had torn John apart, the loss of his unborn son. With his precious little Gideon gone, life had had scant meaning until he learned to appreciate it again through still more suffering. Cancer, attempted suicide, the end of his marriage to Jill…
He had so wanted that little boy; his and Jill’s baby had been carefully planned, and adored from the moment of conception. Everything was about Gideon - John would stop and smile in the middle of making or buying things for his longed-for child and just imagine how perfect he would be when he drew his first breath. He would be a beautiful baby, John knew, combining the best traits of father and mother. Gideon would be blonde and pale, calm and intelligent, with a radiant smile and infinite patience. There was so much John was going to teach his son when he was old enough…
But thanks to that drug-addled Cecil, Gideon never had a chance to grow, or learn, or even live. One slam of a door and that innocent little soul was gone forever.
Sometimes John still woke up at night in a cold sweat, aching for his child. Heartbroken, wishing his beloved son had been born and was alive right now, in his arms. Not as the boy John had never got to know, strangely enough, but as a tiny baby, given a new start at life. He could almost feel soft baby skin under his hands and smell the scent of powder and silky baby hair. There were times he would weep silent tears - very little could make him cry these days, but the pain at missing the son he never knew was unbearable when it hit him hard.
He had told both Amanda and Zep that he had lost a child, and he knew that both his lovers felt sad for him. They were always so affectionate with him at these difficult times - their caresses gentle and their kisses passionate as they held him close to them. John tried to hide the depth of his grief from them - dwelling on the past was futile, and went against the doctrine of appreciating life that John held fast to - but he knew that they could tell he was hurting. He knew that Zep especially was affected - the orderly had a tender, nurturing side that had been evident from the start, when John had been a patient in the hospital where Zep worked.
Amanda wasn’t so fond of children, but sometimes John wondered if Zep might go so far as to attempt to steal a baby. Zep had often spoken of how he’d love to replace everything that John had lost, after all.