Probitas Fabulam Ch. 46/?? ReitaxRuki, AoixUruhaxChaos, YomixKai, JxGackt
Title: Probitas Fabulam
Author: devilonmybed
Chapter(s): 46/??
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): ReitaxRuki, AoixUruhaxChaos, YomixKai, JxGackt
Warnings: Language, angst, sex, torture
Disclaimers: I do not own the GazettE, I wish I did but I don't.
Summary: It’d been almost a century since we’d left the Colony.
Comments: Hope you guys have a great night!
I sat on the bench that I'd sat on over a century and a half ago. It was shocking and mildly terrifying that it had been that long since I'd agreed to be Reita's. Even worse is the fact that I'd always been his, I just hadn't realized because my memories had been tampered with.
And this whole game that Reita had set up both infuriated me and pleased me. I was infuriated because once again, it was some grand romantic gesture that he was using so I'd forgive him. I was pleased because it was showing that he knew me.
It didn't stop the rage; didn't temper it. I didn't want another romantic gesture when he fucked up. I wanted us to talk.
But how did I tell him that?
“First question, what is Takanori's favorite food?”
That was almost hilariously easy.
“Spaghetti. Next.”
I laughed softly and shook my head as I took my mask off. I set it on the park bench as I crossed my legs.
“What species does Ruki hate working with but has to?”
“Wait, what?”
I smiled at the confusion before I stood up and went to the swings.
“What species does Ruki hate working with but has to?”
I could almost imagine the look of concenctraion on Reita's face as he thought about it.
“Dragons. He has since Aoi went through dragon puberty. They're all assholes with complexes.”
“Correct.” Tora said, “Last question and you'll get your clue. Who was the first person Ruki ever made an alliance with?”
My eyes widened because Reita hadn't paid attention to those kind of things when we were younger. He hadn't wanted to rule the world-had been scared of what it'd do to all of us. He'd been right in his fear; not that we knew that back then.
I'd told him that before that he had been right.
“It was either Hizumi or Masashi...shit.”
It had been Hizumi. His Father had been against it but had been sick when I'd first started talk of an alliance. Hizumi had caught me before I'd left and agreed to be allies. We'd done all the negotiations in secret and they'd been very precise and so very complicated. Everything had to be done in order for us to have a good balanced alliance while I had more reason to have the alliance.
“Which one, little brother?”
I smiled and bit my lip as I heard Reita pace in the room. His footfalls heavy on the floor.
“King Ruki, is that you?”
I looked over at Liam as the hunter came closer.
“I heard you reneged on the deal.” I said, “And it was a good deal.”
“We didn't think so.” Liam grinned, “We'd much rather take the world back from you assholes.”
“So you thought you'd go against myself and my allies? They are both numerous and deadly.” I grinned, “You also don't want to mess with me tonight. Just be forewarned we're calling for battle tomorrow. And as I've told you, you must uphold the conduct or risk the scorn of the world.”
Liam's eyes narrowed at me as I listened to my husband.
“Wait! It was Hizumi! I remember that because of his memories. They had to do private negotiations since Hizumi's Father was still alive and was against it. Hizumi, however, saw how smart it'd be to have an ally in case Ruki did take over. Better to be favored by him than an enemy.”
I couldn't stop the smile that overtook my face as Liam frowned.
“Leave now before I kill you.” I snapped at him, as the hunter turned tail and ran.
“So what's my clue?” Reita asked, “That was right...wasn't it?”
“I honestly didn't think you'd get that one, brother mine. You never paid attention back then to the alliances that Ruki obtained. You only really paid attention when it was either himself only or when he was with Ruka.” Tora said, “You checked out when political talk started.”
“I know that,. So what's my clue.”
“This clue is one from Ruki himself. Keep in mind you have to walk to wherever it is.” Tora said, “He said to meet him at the place where he decided to spend his eternity with you.”
I listened to silence reign over the room as Reita thought about it. I bit my lip in anticipation because it was trickier than the other clues. Than even the questions. Because he could think of Egypt where we had our wedding.
“Wait-in Egypt is where we got married-but that's not where he agreed to spend eternity with me.” Reita said softly, “He chose me-I know where he is!”
I leaned back against the bench as I heard the door close.
“Seems my brother is determined to show he loves you. J thought it'd take another round for him to get everything right.” Tora said, “He should be-wherever it is that you chose him. We'll see you guys at the after party.”
“Tell the others thank you Tora.” I said into the microphone, “And thank you as well.”
I pulled the ear piece out and set it down. I fiddled with my fingers as I waited for my husband. Watching as he entered the park and walked over to me slowly.
“I honestly expected you to head to Egypt.” I smiled kindly, “It wasn't a nice clue.”
“It wasn't.” Reita said, “But you didn't agree to spend our eternities together there. You did that here when you chose me over Ruka. Over our Masters and your fledglings-our responsibilities...everything. Did the party surprise you?”
“It all surprised me.” I said, “From the party to the task. I'm sorry if I hurt you.”
“With your prayer? Never apologize to me if I mistreat you in any way. And that's what I did on Olympus when I didn't pay attention to you.” Reita said, “I wish I could bring back Ares and Hephaestus just to kill them all over again for mistreating you.”
“Don't. I took care of it.” I said, “Just don't expect me to stay up there for extending periods. Even if the main bullies are gone I don't want to chance it happening again.”
“Okay.” Reita said, as he reached for my hand, “I'm sorry, meus diligo.”
He moved my hair from my face before cupping my cheek. I leaned into his touch with a deep breath. That rage still swept inside me; wanting to yell at him again for hurting me and doing a romantic gesture.
“I don't like fighting with you.” I said, “I'm sorry for losing it on you. I just-I was still upset-”
“Don't apologize.” Reita said, “I should be apologizing for my treatment. I was used to you being there and just didn't think about the fact that you wouldn't appreciate being left out of things. That you were being bullied. I have a lot of making up to do to you and I don't know where to start.”
“Wherever you want.” I said, “Would you like to go back to the party?”
“Of course.” Reita said, as we started walking to the Colony.
I gripped his hand tightly, “I was shocked you knew which person I became allies with first right. I barely remembered...and it was my doing.”
“I just remember it in your memories. You were overjoyed at the first alliance.” Reita said, “I know I usually say that I'll treat you better but I'm going to. I made it so I hear that prayer every day now. And I never want to hear your voice like that again.”
I kissed Reita gently as we stopped walking. My hand went to his neck and held it tightly as Reita groaned. Pulling away with a smile on my face.
“I know even if I tell you not to do it, you still will.” I said, “Because you need to...I just wish you wouldn't torture yourself.”
“It's horrible that I need a reminder-”
“With how busy you are and what your paperwork looks like I don't blame you. I forgot about family things when I first started to rule, remember?”
“It's still shameful.” Reita said, as I shrugged.
“I love you regardless.” I said, as we got to the ballroom entrance, “Akira, I'm going back to our haven tonight-come with me?”
“I'll come with you wherever you want me to.”
I kissed his cheek as we walked inside. Reita led me by hand to Yomi and J who both smiled at us.
“You exceeded our expectations, oh oblivious one.” Yomi said.
“Tora said that.” Reita said.
“Well to be fair, you're slow to the draw sometimes.” J said.
“Don't speak to my fledgling like that, J.” Sugizo said, as he came over, “He got the answers right.”
And he had but I needed to talk to him about something much more serious. I just didn't know how to start the conversation.
“Dance with me?” I asked Reita.
He nodded as he pulled me close and led me to the floor. We swayed slowly to the music as I kissed his neck.
“I'm so sorry.” Reita whispered into my ear, “I'm never going to mistreat you like that every again...Olympus will never happen again.”
“I want to talk about something else.” I told him honestly.
He dipped me before I smiled up at him. Reita pulled me back up and held me tightly. Nuzzled my nose with a smile on his face that turned my hair a mixture of bright blue and purple.
“I love your hair.” Reita told me seriously, “I always will.”
I shook my head, “I still think I'm a freak sometimes because of it.”
Reita frowned at me, “You've never been a freak in your immortal life. Your hair or your eyes have never defined who you are as a person, Ruki. What you've done as a vampire-as a Sin-have done that.”
“Oh so I'm an asshole. That's a lot better-”
“Look at our family.” Reita said gently, “You turned your fledglings and gave them the life they deserved to have. Let them be with whoever they wanted to be with. Let them be what they wanted to be. You stood by their side through thick and thin and they did the same for you. You let me have my Master back even though all he ever did was hurt you. You've protected all of us from worse horrors than we can imagine and you think that you're an asshole? You're far from that and you should know that by now.”
I snorted, “If that's all true then why were you so furious that I took matters into my own hands with Hephaestus and Thor?”
“My pride got the better of me.” Reita said softly, “You said you had something to tell me.”
I stared at him before I bit my lip. J danced with Gackt to the side as Sugizo and Nao danced together. Tora just watched us closely with Saga and my fledglings. I knew they were hearing every single thing we were saying. They wouldn't be our family if they hadn't found a way to.
Regardless of this, I couldn't just hide my feelings any longer. I couldn't let Reita believe that everything was fine when I didn't feel like it was.
When I still felt like it was going to happen all over again unless I made myself explicitly clear.
“Remember-when we still lived here my first go around as King-what I told you? About how you would hurt me and then do something romantic?” I asked, as Reita winced and paled, “This is the same thing. I never doubted your knowledge of me, Akira. I know that you know who I am. Know that you know my memories inside and out. I never doubted that.”
Reita frowned at me, “Ruki-”
“What I doubted was your commitment and love of me. Love means more than knowledge.” I whispered, as we moved across the floor with an ease that only came with performing for centuries, “It means showing me in more than just-over extravagant affairs why you love me. Why you're sorry for ignoring me. Your brother is furious for your oblivious neglect of me.”
“I know. Sugizo and J are both upset with me as well. I've never had a verbal lashing like the one Sugizo gave me for upsetting you.” Reita said, “I've never felt my heart plummet quite like it did when you said that prayer to me. I've hurt you so many times in the past...why do you still bother with me, Takanori?”
“You know why.” I told him, “I just wish we could skip over the step of you hurting me before you make me feel special. I never once forgot about you when I ruled. It never mattered how busy I was or what the hell was going wrong, I made time for you. Even after all the bullshit we went through. Even when Ruka was vying for my attention so hard it must have hurt him, I still made time for you. But you see, I'm always so-scared of telling you how I feel. How you make me feel when you do these things and that's not okay. I shouldn't be scared to tell my husband that he fucked up. That he ignored me for a century-do you know what that felt like?”
I didn't mean for my voice to break nor did I mean for Reita to flinch quite like he did. Now the others were staring at us because they knew something was wrong.
“No-I don't. You never really did that to me.”
“It isn't a competition.” I said, as I watched my Master and Reita's frown, “I'm not trying to make you feel inferior or incompetent. I-When you ignored me it proved that I could be replaced in Ares and Hephaestus' eyes. Because if you didn't pay attention to me at the parties and I was your husband then surely they could get away with bullying me. Physically harming me by shoving me into things and pushing me down stairs because you wouldn't see it. And...you didn't. Because I lied straight to your face-something that...before Olympus you would have noticed. I would tell you that I was training with Artemis and overstretched my leg and you believed me. You would have known before that I was lying. You would have certainly called me out on it.”
I stared at Reita as we stopped dancing. The masquerade had boiled down to our closest friends and family before we'd gotten here. It was the only reason I felt comfortable talking like this. Using my words carefully and precisely. They weren't meant to hurt him-not like I would have enjoyed when I was younger. They were meant to convey how upset I was.
“You would have enjoyed calling me out on it honestly. But it was like-like this wall got built up after we moved there. Between Olympus and the Underworld it was like we were living on two different planets. You were always so busy and-Akira I've never been clumsy a day in my immortal life. I am graceful and you know I've never run into anything nor have I tripped. The only time I ever got hurt was at someone else's hands.” I said, seeing my husband wince, “So why did you believe me so easily? Did you think it was just me getting-I don't even know-clumsy in my old age? Did you think I just suddenly liked running into columns...doors...fists?”
“Taka-”
“I just don't know what happened. We were fine for years-decades-before Hera talked you into moving to Olympus to work full time. Going to the Underworld when your brother needed time off. I didn't see my fledglings for years upon decades because I knew if I went to see them it meant I wouldn't go back to you because I hated it so much up there. I hated that you spent more time with the other gods and not enough time with me. I told you when you asked for my opinion that I didn't want to move up there. I wasn't comfortable with it because I knew that gods like Ares and Hephaestus didn't like Sins especially on somewhere as pure as Olympus. But you said that they wouldn't be any trouble.” I said, “I just don't understand when you stopped listening to me...I guess.”
He stared at me as I backed up a little.
“You do have a lot of making up to do to me. A whole lot.” I said, “But you can't make it up to me if you don't know why I'm upset. That prayer was just one layer. I'm upset because before Olympus...we listened to one another. After I-after that curse after the wedding-we listened to one another. Our fears and concerns and did everything we could to fix them. And it was like...after the family left so did that. Like it was an act-”
“It was never an act!” Reita exclaimed.
I could read the fury on my brother's face and Reita's. Yomi looked close to going primal; my own fledglings just looked sad for me. How much shit had I bottled up this round? I could see the question clear on their faces.
“Then why did you stop?” I asked seriously, “J left with Gackt and they took Tora and Saga with them. Chaos took Aoi and Uruha to California and Kai and Yomi went to Belgium and you stopped listening to what I wanted. What I didn't want to do. What I wasn't comfortable doing. I know that it's your job but living up there when it was nearly impossible for me to blink or use shadow travel to get down here without your help-and the times I did manage it I almost got myself killed-I told you I missed my fledglings one day...it was the twentieth year we were up there and you said I'd see them soon. Guess what? Never did. Three more times you gave me that answer and I never saw them. Until Yomi called me a few months ago. Didn't you miss them? Mizuki? Yasuno? Any of our family?”
Reita opened and shut his mouth as he licked his lips.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and peeked to see Yomi's hand. I shrugged his hand off and moved away from the Sin. I could see it on my old friend's face that he wanted to both comfort me and cause my husband a hell of a lot of pain.
But that wasn't the point and it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted Reita to understand how I'd felt for the last century.