I'm a scientist!
So, on tuesday I had the strangest encounter with a pissed off customer. He's this middle aged man with a walrus-like mustache, a nicely pressed business suit and a run of the mill green minivan. He comes inside, (leaving his pump unattended) to ask for your truly ie: the manager.
I had jumped up from my seat, and asked in a friendly manor 'good morning, can I help you with anything?'
He replies curtly, his expression kind of resembling that of someone in the middle of taking a really painful shit. "I'd like to speak with the manager."
"That's me!" I reply, still smiling.
"I wanted to wash my windows, but your window wash buckets are all empty! All eight of them!"
I blink at him in surprise ( I had filled them on friday before I left for the weekend) "wow! I can fill up a new bucket for you if you'd like." I replied and added, "The water evaporated fast!"
"I'm a scientist, and I know how fast water evaporates!" He tells me, and I nearly laughed in his face.
I don't quite understand why he told me he was a scientist and he knew how fast water evaporated, since I didn't mention when exactly I had filled them last. Secondly, once I had made up a new bucket of WW for him and carried it outside (yeah, he didn't want to carry it, the lazy bastard!) I gathered up the 'empty' buckets to bring inside to refill.
First off, there were five buckets, not eight as he proclaimed, and two of them still had at least a gallon of fluid in them. While I filled them up he turned his loving ministrations on Luke.
I return with my task completed to see the green minivan just then leaving the store (bucket detail took around 20 minutes) Luke tells me about how the same jackass read him the riot act for not having the pay at the pump option. like we're going to go 'yes sir! Let me go and hook that up for you, run the new cable, install the new software, and solve your limp-dick problem all before taking care of all of these other customers who are all patiently waiting for you to stop being an asshat and get on with it.
According to Luke the guy told him how much he drove, and how he avoided fillup stations that don't have pay at the pump. "I most likely won't shop here again." He told him and Luke offered a shrug.
"Okay." He replied and waited on the next person in line.
Have a nice life dickhead! Of course after the man had left is when I thought of the best intrusive question to ask, to really make em happy. I should have handled it like this, Limp dick says 'You're out of windshield wash, and I'm not happy!"
Then I say , "You're divorced aren't you?" Set fire to that man's head!
Once he left Luke had a limp dick roast. I brought up the divorce question, and something about him being really unhappy about having a limp dick. Luke came up with the gem of why limp dick's wife would want a divorce.
"The missus probably got tired of Limp dick's idea of sexual relations , accurately compared to trying to shoot pool with a length of cord."
To say the least we laughed a lot.
I had jumped up from my seat, and asked in a friendly manor 'good morning, can I help you with anything?'
He replies curtly, his expression kind of resembling that of someone in the middle of taking a really painful shit. "I'd like to speak with the manager."
"That's me!" I reply, still smiling.
"I wanted to wash my windows, but your window wash buckets are all empty! All eight of them!"
I blink at him in surprise ( I had filled them on friday before I left for the weekend) "wow! I can fill up a new bucket for you if you'd like." I replied and added, "The water evaporated fast!"
"I'm a scientist, and I know how fast water evaporates!" He tells me, and I nearly laughed in his face.
I don't quite understand why he told me he was a scientist and he knew how fast water evaporated, since I didn't mention when exactly I had filled them last. Secondly, once I had made up a new bucket of WW for him and carried it outside (yeah, he didn't want to carry it, the lazy bastard!) I gathered up the 'empty' buckets to bring inside to refill.
First off, there were five buckets, not eight as he proclaimed, and two of them still had at least a gallon of fluid in them. While I filled them up he turned his loving ministrations on Luke.
I return with my task completed to see the green minivan just then leaving the store (bucket detail took around 20 minutes) Luke tells me about how the same jackass read him the riot act for not having the pay at the pump option. like we're going to go 'yes sir! Let me go and hook that up for you, run the new cable, install the new software, and solve your limp-dick problem all before taking care of all of these other customers who are all patiently waiting for you to stop being an asshat and get on with it.
According to Luke the guy told him how much he drove, and how he avoided fillup stations that don't have pay at the pump. "I most likely won't shop here again." He told him and Luke offered a shrug.
"Okay." He replied and waited on the next person in line.
Have a nice life dickhead! Of course after the man had left is when I thought of the best intrusive question to ask, to really make em happy. I should have handled it like this, Limp dick says 'You're out of windshield wash, and I'm not happy!"
Then I say , "You're divorced aren't you?" Set fire to that man's head!
Once he left Luke had a limp dick roast. I brought up the divorce question, and something about him being really unhappy about having a limp dick. Luke came up with the gem of why limp dick's wife would want a divorce.
"The missus probably got tired of Limp dick's idea of sexual relations , accurately compared to trying to shoot pool with a length of cord."
To say the least we laughed a lot.