POSSIBLY THE 
VERY BEST CHICKEN JOKE EVER.

A chicken and 
an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is
 leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied
 smile on its face.  The egg, looking a bit pissed off, 
grabs the sheet,
 rolls over, and says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT
 question!!"

If anyone ( Read more... )

Happy Halloween!!!

It was great to see everybody last night. Sorry I couldn't hang around!!! Hope to get a chance to soon!

And yesterday was one of them!!!
I can hardly believe that those are mine!!!
I need 100 more tops cut in that style!!!


( Read more... )

http://www.abcactionnews.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=47e57f50-3dd4-4aeb-bbc8-3db4f2938b6c&rss=794

Late Friday night, my 21 year old nephew Daniel was shot and killed. The authorities are still investigating, but they have some pretty good leads.

If you have any prayers or positive energies to spare, please send some up for my family (especially his parents) during this rough period.

Knowing my circle of friends, I know you can all come up with some very CREATIVE ideas on how to answer this question...

"When in a grocery store buying condoms, what ONE item could you also purchase that would cause the cashier to raise an eyebrow at you?"

Some examples:
A magnifying glass
A summer sausage
Duct Tape
Wart Remover

You get the idea...

The whole "huge boobs" thing must be contagious, because mine seem very large today. This was even commented on by one of my co-workers.

The sad part is that anyone who knows me, knows that there is NO WAY that the words "huge", "boobs", and "Melissa" belong in the same sentence!!!

SOOOO...a week ago, my girl tells me that she and the boys are going to take me out to dinner for my birthday, but she wouldn't tell me where we were going ( Read more... )

I am a VERY lucky girl!!! And a very happy one! And at this moment...human Jello. The last hour of my life was spent on a massage chair, having muscles I didn't even know ached rubbed. Treating myself, you might ask? No...my girl sent a masseuse to my job as a birthday gift. And she and the boys are taking me out to dinner tonight...

As I said...I ( Read more... )