Attempt at a pleasant day. Daughter went to the snow, she seemed like she had a blast. But its terrifying... my thoughts.. a great day, and all i can think about... is how much i just dont want to be alive any more... im just.. done existing.. my daughter has a new family. My wife has a new family.. i just.. i dont want to be here anymore.

The more i look into it... i think ... i relate a lot to schizophrenic people. In delusions i have. But i just focus and remember, its not real.

PLUG is up 6% today!! I had to pull out some money .. suxorz. I sold wjat i had of tesla xrp and nintendo. Id like to get more nintendo later on. I didnt get no govment munnie. Support your local anon. Ronald McDonald. 1/19/21. 09/10/21. Be ready.

I dont know if its the large amount of drugs. If its just human things. Hmm

The redemption scene in GotG made me tear up.

... am i weird for not wanting things? Not wanting to do things. I think prison would be pretty easy... prison.. death.. my train of thoughts this past year.. i logged onto graal .. guess there was a big reset. Kinda fun. Old pals are on there still. And when i log in im treated like a god. Lol. Man. Its kinda weird but .. i still feel .. another ( Read more... )

Twitches getting worse.. schizophrenia... hmm .. i sometimes wonder.. im dizzy atm and feel nauseous.. twichy and sickj jjjjjjjj hate it

I didnt meet with the Miss Amanda girl... i liked her.. this Mica chick.... i think she might murder me.... Lashia seems cool but i dont thinks real, hot asian chicks especially hmong chicks ... yea i dont trust it. Serena would have a blast with this shit. Old Em would just kinda sit back and watch wondering how tf i pulled it all off. Iono i got ( Read more... )

I just cant stop fiucking crying......nd ...fuck..... I wanted it so bad.. family... she lied... she kied.... i trusted her. And she lied .. broke a bond... i hate it This is the exact 1 thing i asked her nkt to do And she swore uo and down Alas.... She lied... And im bad because i say the thruth. Wowowkwiw that was a big one there mental breakdown ( Read more... )

Acceptance. I think thats it. Inclusion. Hmm feelijg of lwft out.. its terrible.. i remember q story abiut kickball... and a life changing axis. That moment. Like.The butterfly effect . I dunno .... im just a sad guy. Its me .. I dint want tobleave my daughter I want ro watch hwr grow... Let go