Recently my name has been coming up more and more in conversations it seems, and that's pretty cool. I'm glad people like me and find me humorous or endearing enough to tell about me to other people. It's very very flattering and humbling at the same time.
However...
I've come to notice that my random start-up conversation rate is rising by an exponential amount. Some of these are very fun and can lead to some very good friendships. Some are interesting to share ideas with but we never seen to hit it off. I'm not very good with being friends. My mentality is that of a loner who tends to things solo. Occasionally I go out to be social and hang with people whom I know and have an attachment to. Sometimes it's a few days til we talk, sometimes it's a few weeks. And it never bothers me because I know that communications work both ways and if they want to talk to me, I'm never more than an IM, text or phone call away. So when it comes to friends, my friends are people who I've shared times with and have had some great laughs and painful moments together. I love my friends dearly and some I love beyond just as friends. It pains me to my core to see a friend leave my life in any way, either on bad terms or by chance or even by death.
But when some socially inept furry moron comes up to me and within a few minutes is asking me if we can be friends, I feel my anger level rise. Friendship is not made with light chat on AIM! Friendship comes from sharing the good and bad times. Friendship comes from love and an understanding of each other that breeds trust and admiration. I don't get those feelings when some random stranger who can't separate fantasy from reality and thinks that just because otters are sexy, that therefore I must be sexy so we should get together, yiff, cuddle and become BFFs. NO! DEAR GOD FUCK NO! I don't understand this approach! Why are you just messaging people you don't know to let them know you'd suck their dick and go shoe shopping with them? I'm not going to talk to you if you're trying to be my friend and mentioning yiffing me in the process.
I'm tired of soft-handling socially handicapped people in the fandom. Every time I try to be delicate and not insult or hurt anyone I get cussed out or stalked to the point of making me consider leaving. I'm being a total drama queen right now and I don't care. I am sick of getting either cussed out for not reciprocating feelings I don't have or being stalked and harassed for trying to gently say I'm not interested. I mean, what the fuck do you do when people start creeping you out and you want to be kind and tell them to take a few steps back without seeming arrogant or self-absorbed?
I don't care what drama comes from this, I've just needed to say it before I 'sploded with hate and death. And guts. Toodles!