Best Laid Plans - Shorts and scraps
Best Laid Plans was never really supposed to be ten chapters, but I sure got a lot out of it. Of course, several ideas got the axe, but I still liked them enough to keep them around after a a fashion.
Here are two short stories, and a handful of dialogue that wound up getting cut out.
I. Short - A Desert Race
Note: According to Sideways' page on the TF Wiki, he and Barricade took the time to have a race in one of the games. The scene never panned out in the story itself, probably because it was too feel good for the rest of the scenes. This was written before I added Wheelie to the cast, so that's why he's missing.
"We're stuck until that storm blows itself out,” Demolisher announced. Barricade was the most upset about that news, but Sideways looked excited about it.
“Great, we can watch a movie,” the Audi said, getting a nasty look from the Mustang. “Have you seen Pan's Labyrinth? We should -”
“We've watched that so many times I've got the damn thing memorized,” Demolisher snapped, and this time it was Sideways that sent him a glare. The Constructicon didn't care if he thought he could pull the interceptor out of the depression that seemed to have fallen on him and Scorponok. His constant badgering was getting annoying, and it obviously wasn't working.
“Well,” Sideways tried again, saw spinning in agitation. “Well, then may be... hey, what about a race?”
“Pass,” Demolisher said at once, and the next look Sideways sent him was a little more hateful. “I'll watch.”
“No one is racing anyone,” Barricade growled.
“Just to that dune and back,” Sideways tried.
“No.”
“C'mon! I'll even give you a head start.”
There was a pause, before Barricade gave him a look that would have sent a human into pulmonary failure. “You'll what?”
“Look, I know you're not as fast as I am, so it wouldn't be fair unless I gave you a head start anyways,” Sideways explained, his tone carefree and innocent. Demolisher saw it for what it was, and he was stunned to see that it was working on the interceptor. Either that, or Barricade was letting it work on him, which was a step in the right direction.
“I don't need a head start to beat you,” Barricade snarled, and the challenge was officially answered.
“To the dune and back?” Sideways hadn't looked this chipper since he'd woken up to find he was going to live another day. Barricade nodded once, and the two of them edged up the line Demolisher had kindly drawn in the sand.
“Rules,” Demolisher said. “No transforming, no boosters, no weapons - just you and the ugly legs Primus gave you.”
“Jealousy doesn't become you, Demolisher,” Sideways quipped, and Barricade made a show of rolling his optics.
“On three,” Demolisher said, ignoring Sideways' comment concerning his lack of appendages. “Three!”
The two smaller units were gone in an instant, beating a relentless rhythm into the sand as they ran. Demolisher watched them with interest, dimming his optics as the sun shone off their chassis'. They were, at the moment, evenly matched, reaching the specified dune at the same time and launching themselves back towards the Constructicon. Barricade's run was a textbook canter, his posture exactly how it should be and his speed consistent. It was Sideways' run that held Demolisher's attention, as well as effectively distracting Barricade.
It was the strangest lope the Constructicon had ever seen, a technique that no bipedal being should ever be able to do. Demolisher could not explain it, but soon Sideways had left Barricade behind, and the excavator knew why he felt no shame in identifying himself as a courier. He had perfected the art of running to an exact science, one that only he knew the equation to perform.
“No one outruns me!” Sideways declared as he sailed across the crudely drawn finish line, Barricade nowhere near nipping at his heels. The Audi slid in the sand to slow himself down, turning in time to see the interceptor was doing the exact opposite. He hardly had time to let out a yelp as Barricade barreled into him, sending them both tumbling through the sand.
Barricade was cursing in every language that he knew, trying to grab the Audi in a headlock, only to lose him a second later. Demolisher watched the scuffle for a few seconds before seeing that it was harmless, aside from the pair of them kicking and swatting at each other.
Eventually Sideways went head first into the sand, but came up laughing, such a positive noise sounding so alien to all of them. Despite himself, Barricade joined him, and then Demolisher's booming voice echoed around all of them. Sideways was laughing, Barricade was laughing, Demolisher was laughing, Scorponok was looking at them all like they'd blown a fuse, but everything was alright. For right now, as short as they knew it would be, everything was alright.
II. Short - No Country For Line Dancers
Note: Oh look, another scene that's way too adorable and sickeningly sweet to be acceptable for Decepticons. Or it's more proof that the bigger and scarier they look, the more likely it is that they're just big teddy bears under it all. Ha ha yeah right
Protip: put George Strait's I Just Wanna Dance With You on repeat, and enjoy.
“You can't dance,” Sideways said. “Neither of you have legs.”
“We've made it this far without legs,” said Demolisher. “Not that we need them. And I can't see how it would stop us from dancing.”
Scavenger looked less than convinced. “Well, nothing too fast, alright?”
Demolisher nodded, already sorting through the many files he collected over the year and half on Earth. Finally, a slow tune started, and George Strait sang: “I don't want to be the kind to hesitate, be too shy, way too late. I don't care what they say -”
“Honestly,” said Scavenger, shaking his head. “I thought you were joking when you said you liked country music.”
“What's wrong with it?” Demolisher frowned, letting the song continue to play.
“Besides everything?” Sideways yelped. Scavenger looked smug, but Demolisher did not back down.
“You wanted a slow song,” he said, extending one hand to his twin. Scavenger looked at it for a moment, before accepting it, letting himself get pulled into his other half.
“I want to dance with you, twirl you all around the floor,” George Strait crooned. Shovel fingers slid in between one another, and the two giants moved as one. Sideways backed up to give them more room, watching with nothing short of amazement. “That's what they intended dancin' for; I just want to dance with you.”
Mirror images of one another, Demolisher and Scavenger swayed to the tune, wheels turning and rotating as they spun in a slow circle. Sideways couldn't tell who was leading, the giant twins rolling in perfect unison. George Strait sang through several verses, finally proclaiming: “If this was a movie, we'd be right on cue - I just want to dance with you.
“I want to dance with you, twirl you all around the floor,” the twins separated for moment, Scavenger dropping his top wheel as Demolisher spun him around with one arm. The wheel lifted back up and Demolisher drew his twin back in to his frame, their heads brushing past one another as they moved.
They kept their hands joined, rocking from side to side for several beats. Demolisher shifted one hand to Scavenger's shoulder, and his twin copied the motion, their still joined hands extending out. From there, they rolled in another slow circle, leaning in opposite directions. When they stopped, the twins moved together again, swaying back and forth.
“I want to dance with you, hold you in my arms once more,” Sideways watched them embrace for a moment, before breaking apart to spin in circles one more time. “That's what they invented dancin' for, I just wanna with you.”
The song played on, with Sideways mentally humming along with the chorus. He was completely caught off guard when Demolisher reached down and scooped him up, depositing him one shoulder. Confident he was situated, Demolisher placed his hand back on his twin's shoulder.
“We can dance,” Demolisher said simply, as George Strait continued to insist that “I just want to dance with you.”
“Yeah,” Sideways was forced to agree. “But I bet you can't country line dance.”
Scavenger glared at him. “Don't give him any ideas.”
But Demolisher only laughed, shaking his head as the song slowly drew to a close. Right now it didn't matter what they could or couldn't do - so long as they could do it together.
And now some dialogue that I liked, but wound up cutting out for various reasons (possibly a total lack of talent, who knows.)
III. Barricade complains about being stuck in the crate on the way to Sri Lanka.
“They put packing peanuts in here.”
“How terrible.”
“And only one bag, so what good does it do? Nothing! And they're sticking to me!”
IV. Unused dialogue between Hightower and Demolisher in chapter 8, detailing what, exactly, Demolisher wants to do to Rampage.
“Who's coming?” Demolisher asked.
“Well, Scavenger insisted on seeing you,” said Hightower. “Long Haul, Mixmaster -”
“Rampage?” Demolisher was clearly impatient, and Hightower gave him a curious look.
“Yes, and Rampage,” he said slowly. “Why -”
“Because I'm going to rip his arms off, that's why,” Demolisher growled.
V. Never found a place to sneak this one in.
“So... how old are you?” Sideways asked, craning his head up at the twin giants.
“Old enough,” Demolisher grunted. “Too old, really.”
“Oh come off it,” Scavenger said. “I'm older than you anyways.”
“By a quarter nanosecond!” Demolisher shot back.
“Old enough,” Scavenger said, smiling brightly.