5: Selections From the Witchfinder Log: Good Omens genfic
By dizmo, for gileonnen.
Selections From the Witchfinder Log
In a battered and dusty leather tome stored, along with a number of mothballs and some other various sundries, in the personal possessions of one Retired Witchfinder Sergeant Shadwell, there are numerous entries in many different hands. It is a logbook of the Witchfinder Army, and it has been in the possession of the group for centuries.
Its entries are most enlightening. Following is a selection of them.
~~
21 Ianiuarius 931
þā wiccan bēoþ ārlēasa ac hīe sōhtonwē ætstandan hīe swā hit cwiþþ se se dryhten
~~
Thursdaye, thee nineteenthe of Marche, sixteene fifteye-sevenne.
We are fynallie lyke to taek custodye of yon wytch Agnes Nutter and putte her to the torche, as must be doane to alle wytches whyche practife fiendlish wyrks such as she.
Twill be a daye longe remembered in the glourious hiftorie of the Wytchfynder Armye.
Wytchfynder Major Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adulterye Pulsifer
~~
October 22, 1742, Anno Domini
I find it important to relate such Events as have been occurring in the Area as of late. The Witchfinder Army has been, as ever, vigilant. There are, of course, Witches and other Hags who are practifing their vile Magicks upon the innofent People of the Countryside. It is a
Testimony to the long History of the Witchfinder Army that there are not as many as there were in the Past, as can be discovered in a quick Perusal of our Records.
However, our good Work has caused some Difficulties. As there are fewer Witches to be apprehended, our monetary Situation has lowered to the Point where we may say we are in Distress. The low Pay has caused a number of Desertions. However, we continue to prefs on for the Cause. It is us againft the Darknefs.
Witchfinder Captain Wm L. Branford.
~~
July 16, 1847
Three of us. Three of us left to stand against the darkness. It is, of course, better than nothing, although we are, I fear, past our glory years.
We are keeping a close watch on Miss Gatch, down the way. Everyone you hear says that her pie is the best to be found in the entire country. I have tasted this pie and find it mediocre at best. She has obviously bewitched everyone.
We have few resources. I worry that sometime in the near future, we may have to resort to other sources of income.
Witchfinder Lieutenant Matthews.
~~
December 12
Ach. Bugger it all for a lark. I'm comfortable. Young Newt can take over if he wants. I'll give the book to him at his wedding.
Witchfinder Sergeant Shadwell (Ret.)
Selections From the Witchfinder Log
In a battered and dusty leather tome stored, along with a number of mothballs and some other various sundries, in the personal possessions of one Retired Witchfinder Sergeant Shadwell, there are numerous entries in many different hands. It is a logbook of the Witchfinder Army, and it has been in the possession of the group for centuries.
Its entries are most enlightening. Following is a selection of them.
~~
21 Ianiuarius 931
þā wiccan bēoþ ārlēasa ac hīe sōhtonwē ætstandan hīe swā hit cwiþþ se se dryhten
~~
Thursdaye, thee nineteenthe of Marche, sixteene fifteye-sevenne.
We are fynallie lyke to taek custodye of yon wytch Agnes Nutter and putte her to the torche, as must be doane to alle wytches whyche practife fiendlish wyrks such as she.
Twill be a daye longe remembered in the glourious hiftorie of the Wytchfynder Armye.
Wytchfynder Major Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adulterye Pulsifer
~~
October 22, 1742, Anno Domini
I find it important to relate such Events as have been occurring in the Area as of late. The Witchfinder Army has been, as ever, vigilant. There are, of course, Witches and other Hags who are practifing their vile Magicks upon the innofent People of the Countryside. It is a
Testimony to the long History of the Witchfinder Army that there are not as many as there were in the Past, as can be discovered in a quick Perusal of our Records.
However, our good Work has caused some Difficulties. As there are fewer Witches to be apprehended, our monetary Situation has lowered to the Point where we may say we are in Distress. The low Pay has caused a number of Desertions. However, we continue to prefs on for the Cause. It is us againft the Darknefs.
Witchfinder Captain Wm L. Branford.
~~
July 16, 1847
Three of us. Three of us left to stand against the darkness. It is, of course, better than nothing, although we are, I fear, past our glory years.
We are keeping a close watch on Miss Gatch, down the way. Everyone you hear says that her pie is the best to be found in the entire country. I have tasted this pie and find it mediocre at best. She has obviously bewitched everyone.
We have few resources. I worry that sometime in the near future, we may have to resort to other sources of income.
Witchfinder Lieutenant Matthews.
~~
December 12
Ach. Bugger it all for a lark. I'm comfortable. Young Newt can take over if he wants. I'll give the book to him at his wedding.
Witchfinder Sergeant Shadwell (Ret.)