Legend of Ooccoo: Emancipated Nipple Chicken
Alternate Title: I think too much.
But I don't care because I TOTALLY FIGURED IT OUT HAHA ohgodIneedsleep.
So, lately I'm replaying Zelda: Twilight Princess. Right. I get to the City in the Sky, and like 98% of people who've played this game, I wonder: "What the FUCK is up with the Ooccoo?" They're basically chickens with emancipated human heads and blue nipples. God I want to meet the person who thought up their design.
Anyway, the game makes them out to be this super advanced race who supposedly created the Hylians and are super awesome and stuff. Except.. they're emancipated nipple chicken. And while trudging through their city/temple/dungeon looking for keys, I've finally come up with a theory that explains this:
The Oocoo aren't actually advanced. This is obvious to anyone who's looked at them for even half a second, but the truth is they're not even SUPPOSED to be the super advanced race the game says they are. In reality, the Oocoo are squatters. The REAL super advanced sky race of Twilight Princess is long gone, either dead or moved off somewhere, and you never meet them at any point. After they disappeared, the Oocoo found their temple floating in the sky (or possibly were already there to begin with, as some sort of pet?) and decided, hey, this place is pretty awesome, let's live here. It's really that simple.
And there's so much evidence!
It explains, for instance, why their 'city' looks absolutely nothing like a city, when all the previous dungeons in the game generally have the decency to look like what they claim to be. The Goron Mines have mining equipment, the Snowpeak Ruins are a freaking ruined castle (and probably my favorite of the dungeons, too), and all the various temples look like they could be temples. Temples that require a ton of keys and buttons to get anywhere, but in Zelda that's basically what a temple is.
The city in the sky, however, looks nothing like a city. It just looks like another temple. A very, very big temple. It is, in fact, MUCH bigger than anything the comparitively tiny Ooccoos would need it for. Everything in that place is sized much more massively than you'd think an Ooccoo would have any reason to make it. The place is also falling apart. Even disregarding the whole evilness and bad things running amok in the place, the Sky Temple is obviously a mess. There are huge chunks missing in the floor, walls, and ceiling, and there's weeds and vines growing everywhere. All of this pointing toward the very real possibility that the damn little chicken things didn't make any of it.
"But, dhaos!" One might cry, "The chickens themselves say they're advanced, don't they? Also why are you wasting your time on this?" Well the answer to your second question is shut up. As for the first, well, they would, wouldn't they? It must be nice, being able to tell people you're part of an advanced race of technologically superior superchickens. It doesn't make it true. It would also explain why the single shop on the island houses items the Ooccoo admit they have absolutely no use for (you're just buying stuff they have lying around already), AND why the one Ooccoo who follows you around the game has conveniently 'forgotten' all the relevant details of how to get back to her home in the sky. The truth is she never knew in the first place. Like all the other nipple chickens, she was just squatting in the desicated old ruins of a temple belonging to a forgotten civilization, pretending she was better then she was. And when she accidently fell back down to earth.. she took to living in pots.
So, that's it. That's my theory. My crazy spaz theory that I think explains everything about the Ooccoo. Except what the hell they actually are. Or where they're originally from. Okay, it actually raises more questions. But you know what?
It's still better than saying they're more advanced than Hylians.
But I don't care because I TOTALLY FIGURED IT OUT HAHA ohgodIneedsleep.
So, lately I'm replaying Zelda: Twilight Princess. Right. I get to the City in the Sky, and like 98% of people who've played this game, I wonder: "What the FUCK is up with the Ooccoo?" They're basically chickens with emancipated human heads and blue nipples. God I want to meet the person who thought up their design.
Anyway, the game makes them out to be this super advanced race who supposedly created the Hylians and are super awesome and stuff. Except.. they're emancipated nipple chicken. And while trudging through their city/temple/dungeon looking for keys, I've finally come up with a theory that explains this:
The Oocoo aren't actually advanced. This is obvious to anyone who's looked at them for even half a second, but the truth is they're not even SUPPOSED to be the super advanced race the game says they are. In reality, the Oocoo are squatters. The REAL super advanced sky race of Twilight Princess is long gone, either dead or moved off somewhere, and you never meet them at any point. After they disappeared, the Oocoo found their temple floating in the sky (or possibly were already there to begin with, as some sort of pet?) and decided, hey, this place is pretty awesome, let's live here. It's really that simple.
And there's so much evidence!
It explains, for instance, why their 'city' looks absolutely nothing like a city, when all the previous dungeons in the game generally have the decency to look like what they claim to be. The Goron Mines have mining equipment, the Snowpeak Ruins are a freaking ruined castle (and probably my favorite of the dungeons, too), and all the various temples look like they could be temples. Temples that require a ton of keys and buttons to get anywhere, but in Zelda that's basically what a temple is.
The city in the sky, however, looks nothing like a city. It just looks like another temple. A very, very big temple. It is, in fact, MUCH bigger than anything the comparitively tiny Ooccoos would need it for. Everything in that place is sized much more massively than you'd think an Ooccoo would have any reason to make it. The place is also falling apart. Even disregarding the whole evilness and bad things running amok in the place, the Sky Temple is obviously a mess. There are huge chunks missing in the floor, walls, and ceiling, and there's weeds and vines growing everywhere. All of this pointing toward the very real possibility that the damn little chicken things didn't make any of it.
"But, dhaos!" One might cry, "The chickens themselves say they're advanced, don't they? Also why are you wasting your time on this?" Well the answer to your second question is shut up. As for the first, well, they would, wouldn't they? It must be nice, being able to tell people you're part of an advanced race of technologically superior superchickens. It doesn't make it true. It would also explain why the single shop on the island houses items the Ooccoo admit they have absolutely no use for (you're just buying stuff they have lying around already), AND why the one Ooccoo who follows you around the game has conveniently 'forgotten' all the relevant details of how to get back to her home in the sky. The truth is she never knew in the first place. Like all the other nipple chickens, she was just squatting in the desicated old ruins of a temple belonging to a forgotten civilization, pretending she was better then she was. And when she accidently fell back down to earth.. she took to living in pots.
So, that's it. That's my theory. My crazy spaz theory that I think explains everything about the Ooccoo. Except what the hell they actually are. Or where they're originally from. Okay, it actually raises more questions. But you know what?
It's still better than saying they're more advanced than Hylians.