(no subject)
1. My fucking gum feels like somebody is stabbing me with an ice-pick. And I don't like it. It's way back were I had my wisdom tooth removed, like a year ago. And it doesn't look really red or diseased or anything, it just hurts like a bastard. I think it's from the medication I am currently taking. One of the side effects is that it can make you grind your teeth, so I get to go to Walmart and buy an awesome mouth gaurd and be sexy, sexy, sexy forever.
2. Fucking Rescue Squad it just falling apart. This tends to happen. Every year. I feel like we are just not going to make it and then I don't know what to do. I feel so lost about it all. I really want to be Co-Captain. I love squad. I love running and taking on-calls and just generally helping people. But the politics of it are getting in the way, again. This happens, and it's driving me nuts. We got an incident report in the office today that was basically somebody complaing about all the politics and such of what's going on during the meetings and how certain people are not be respectful. I totally agree, but there is really nothing that we can do except yell at them and try to make them shut the fuck up and listen. I mean, what do they want us to do about it? Impose some kind of seating system? No, we are not in fucking kindergarten. We should all know how to fucking grow up and be respectful.
I want Rescue Squad to be fun too. But during th emeeting, we all need to chill the fuck out and be respectful and able to sit and calmly listen to what people are saying. I just can't stand it. We lost so many people that took the EMT class. They just left us. It's like squad just isn't important enough. People think we are a joke. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it.
I want to be able to help people, and me just sitting there with my thumb up my ass isn't going to do it. I'm just trying to fucking help people. Maybe that's what we are getting away from. Maybe we all just need to settle the fuck down and realize the actual reason we are here. Not because of politics and ammendments and bullshit like that. But to help people on campus. To run as an EMT or whatever, and actual make a difference and fucking help people.
Jesus christ. I don't like to run at 3 am across campus in the freezing cold because I don't care about people. I do it because I want to be there to help them and to make a difference. And Frankly... I'm tired of people not seeing that. Of politics getting the fucking way.
I want people to respect and understand Rescue Squad and what we do. And if you don't like my ideas, then fucking let me know and I'll fucking stop comming up with them.
I just, want to make it better. I have a fucking need to make it better. and I just... fuck.
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