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[diamond_wings]

Wow okay. I just give up on boys. you are everything they are about and they want someone completely opposite. you try to please or be ideal to something they like, and they don't want you. im so sick of being unspokenly rejected. every boy is fucking in love with someone else. its like, "HEY i met you too late, i love someone else even though she'

Comments

[ministryoftears]

okay i realize that you probably dont care what i say since you hate me so much but im gonna do this anyway, because i DONT hate you. through years of broken homes and suicidal tendencies, i had 2 things that helped me...music and running. music is the main thing that kept me going. through troubled waters i would play songs in my head, and most oddly enough they were by the smashing pumpkins. i am listening to 1979 right now, i even posted a bulletin on myspace about how much i love them like an hour ago. which is really wierd. but yeah. im still sorry, and people think im stupid cause all i am is music and art, so your not alone.

[diamond_wings]

you know, i tried. from the very start, i put pretty much everything i had into getting to know you. its great to know it was all a big waste of time. im really not sure why you dont hate me yet. but im sure i have an idea, that its solely because you don't want any enemies, or some unexplainable other reason. you've got what you want.
we may both be from broken homes and have suicidal tendencies, but its people like you who make me never, ever want to trust anyone, particulary boys, ever again. i guess ive gotten to see how full of yourself you are. and thats ok, but geez, its gone a little too far, right?
and you try to say you're not a pimp. but you do flaunt it, haven't you noticed?
im not perfect. im not judging you. but i put so much into seeing who you were, I guess I saw too much. I don't know if we can be friends. I doubt it. It would've been awesome to have you as a friend. But I guess thats just something we lost.
you have what you wanted all along.

And you, maybe you'll remember me
What I gave is yours to keep

[ministryoftears]

do i really have what i want? what is it that i wanted? i dont even know. if you do know then please, let me know. Meagan, im sorry, i mean i really dont fully understand what brought on the blow up. i do, yet i dont. i mean, we didnt ever really talk, you make me nervous. im just kinda shitting my way through life right now, over xmas break i got myself into a predictament, and i hated where i was at, you can ask anyone i talked to about it. the reason i just did what i did is because it was the easy way out. and thats the way i escape most often, because im scared to actually try anything new. soon im sure the same thing will happen to someone else, because its what ive made habit, and im not very happy about it. i dont hate you yet because i have NO reason too, i mean i did some pretty fucked up shit by just kind of ignoring your existence, it shouldnt have happened, and honestly you have a viable reason to be mad at me, but you STILL havent done anything for me to be mad about. when you told me what you told me, i lost it, i mean

[diamond_wings]

oh my. I couldnt care less about the hugging. I hug everyone I see, that could no possible way look like something else