maybe i'll get over it

[diamondgirlxx]

I love someone.
I'm not in love with them, though. I don't think.
I might be, but other thoughts and feelings are just blocking it?
I hope so.

I'm in love with someone I should really forget about.
I can't forget about him though.
I've tried.
Really hard.
He just won't go away.
And leave my heart be.
Everything I do, or say makes me think back to days with him.
and the nights we spent together.

My head is spinning in circles.
I don't know what I should do.

I mean, he had his chance. Well chances really. And he screwed them all up.
Does he really deserve another one? Whether it be tomorrow or 10 years from now?
I doubt it.
Will I give it to him?
Probably, just not at the exact moment he wants it.
That's the sad thing.

I wish this were easier.
I wish I could share this with both of them.
But I can't.
I never will be able.
Not face to face.
In writing yes.
I'm sure they'll both probably stumble across this sometime.
Who knows?

It's time for me to lay my head down, and let my mind wander over these things some more.
And let my heart continue its constant tug-of-war between the two.

I wonder who will prevail and win me over.
For good.

Goodnight world.

xoxoxox
Nikki Chole. <3.