je_holiday '08 :D
This exchange was fun. :3 Despite like, being assigned silver_lined OF ALL PEOPLE, and cramming it after NaNo because I fail. It was fun to write. Originally here @je_holiday... :D :D Reposting because a glaring spelling error has been pissing me off. 8DD; Minor changes made.
*
Title: Akiyama+Koichi, the tragedy that never (really) was.
Details: Musical Academy. G. Oneshot.
Summary: If MA did Romeo+Juliet...? Dumbassery, mostly in script form. :D
Notes: Written before news of the actual JE Romeo+Juliet announcement! ♥ ...I thought it was funny anyway.
AKIYAMA+KOICHI, THE TRAGEDY THAT NEVER (REALLY) WAS.
Dramatis Personae
• Juliet of Capulet: Domoto Koichi
• Romeo of Montague: Akiyama Jun
• Benvolio: Yonehana Tsuyoshi
• Mercutio: Machida Shingo
• Tybalt: Yara Tomoyuki
ACT 1, SCENE 1
Benvolio (a Montague, cousin to Romeo) attempts to stop a brawl between Montague and Capulet servants, but Tybalt sees the drawn sword and declares a hatred for peace as deep as his hatred for the Montagues. The scene degenerates into a fight that continues until the Prince arrives and declares death on the next person to break the peace.
Yara: Ever the peace keeper, aren't you, Yone?
Yonehana: I'm Benvolio now, thanks.
Yara: That name's too hard to say.
Yonehana: Learn it, please.
Yara: I'd rather learn our swordfight. ♥ (Draws sword.)
Yonehana: Bring it on, Capulet scum.
Yara: Name calling, ouch.
(The two engage in furious battle.)
Yara: What the hell happened to just biting your thumb?
Yonehana: My nail broke. Sorry.
"The Prince is supposed to come in and stop us," Yara says, calling a pause to catch his breath. "Who's going to play him, anyway?"
"Koichi-kun!" Machida flails.
"That wasn't a trick question, Maachin," Yonehana says. "Koichi-san's Juliet this time."
Machida's face falls. "I wish I could be Romeo..."
He goes ignored.
"So... the guy for Prince Escalus, huh?"
Machida claps. "What about Nakai-kun!"
For five minutes straight, Yonehana doesn't stop laughing.
The fight clears, and Benvolio meets with Romeo. Melancholy, Romeo tells of his unrequited love for Rosaline. Benvolio counsels Romeo to find someone prettier and forget her, but Romeo contends that the woman he loves is the most beautiful of all, and that he cannot be taught to forget his love. Benvolio resolves to try make him anyway.
Yara: From peace keeper to match maker now, Yone?
Yonehana: You're not in this scene, Yaracchi. Go entertain Maachin.
Yara: Bastard.
Akiyama: (Waxing lyric at the nonexistent moon.) He sees me not for what I am, but merely what I do! I am but a humble backdancer. How can I make his eyes turn upon me with favour, that I may feel the radiance of his smile, and the warmth of his professional gaze?
Yara: (From the wings.) Nobody could miss you unless they were blind, you great lout. Who the hell are you talking about, anyway?
Akiyama: Domoto Tsuyoshi-kun, my one and only true love-!
Yonehana: ...you mean Rosaline. Hey, man. Forget him. Her. I'll take you clubbing and we'll find you someone else under five-foot five.
ACT 1, SCENE 2
Matchy asks Nagase if he can adopt Koichi as Kondo Racing's team mascot. Nagase reckons that'd be ace, but respectfully tells Matchy that Koichi still has a couple of spotlight years left in him before he can go be useless. But hey, Matchy's welcome to come and try warm Koichi to the idea in the meantime - they're throwing a party and there'll be plenty of hot chicks.
Akiyama hears that these 'hot chicks' include Domoto Tsuyoshi - which is (really, honestly) the only reason he agrees to Yonehana and Machida's gatecrashing ways. Because outcasts aren't invited to elite parties.
"That isn't what the script says," Yonehana points out. He sounds a little peevish.
"No shit, Sherlock," Yara drawls, a grin on his face. "But it's the gist of it. We Capulets bring all the girls to the yard."
"Will Koichi-kun be there?" Machida asks, thinly reedy.
"Of course," Yara says. "Nagase's her dad."
Machida blinks. "Naga..se's... h... d..."
Yonehana waves a hand in front of Machida's face. No response. "Yaracchi, you broke him," he says dryly.
ACT 1, SCENE 3
"We can skip this one," Yonehana says. "It's Koichi-san's and he's still not here yet."
Machida's face is depressed.
"Cheer up, Maachin," Yara tells him. "It's just about Koichi finding out Matchy wants him for a mascot, and saying he'll consider the deal."
"Alright," Machida says.
"Tsuyoshi-kun..." Akiyama weeps.
Casually, Yara kicks him in the shin.
ACT 1, SCENE 4
"...let's skip this one too," Yara says. "It looks boring."
"Just because you're not in it," Yonehana snorts.
"Come on," Yara says. "It's only you three dawdling before you gatecrash. Totally boring!"
"Akiyama delivers a precognitive line about dreaming that the night will change fate," Yonehana points out.
Yara just rolls his eyes. "Right. As if he isn't already depressed enough."
"It also shows Maachin's character for the first time."
"And nobody needs to see that. Next."
ACT 1, SCENE 5
Romeo falls head over heels when he first sees Juliet, immediately forgetting about Rosaline, and declaring that he has never been in love until this moment. Tybalt overhears, recognising Romeo's voice, and calls for his sword. Capulet of Capulet lays a smackdown on Tybalt for wanting to kill people during the partay. Humiliated, Tybalt swears never to forget the indignity.
"Skip," Yara says.
Yonehana laughs in his face.
Romeo approaches Juliet, and takes her hand. They flirt around with religious metaphors and end up kissing. Twice--
Yara: Yo!
Koichi: (Enters.) Sorry I'm late, the meeting ran overtime.
Yonehana: Not at all.
Machida: Koichiii---------!
Koichi: (Sidesteps.) Your voice is too high!
Akiyama: Kouchan... (Stands... crosses the floor.)
Koichi: ?
Akiyama: Kouchan... you're not late at all! ♥ In fact, you're just in time.
Yonehana: (Coughs.)
Yara: (Gags.)
Koichi: Just in time for what?
Akiyama: We get to kiss. ♥♥ Please do take this pilgrim's sin-!
Koichi: Ahahaha... (Turns, exits.)
The door swings shut in Koichi's wake, and Yara smirks.
Akiyama's face falls.
Machida collapses.
"I guess he's got another meeting," Yonehana shrugs. "Let's move on."
Akiyama: No... my heart! My love...!
Yonehana: Romeo, seriously. Next scene please.
Akiyama: Benvolio! Who was he, his face as radiant as the rising sun-! I must know...!
Machida: (From the wings, whimpering.) Koichi-kun... I wish I were a Capulet, too... ;;
Yara: (From the wings, aside.) That's what you call an incest fetish, kids.
Akiyama: A Capulet-!? Surely not! My heart has been torn asunder! Oh, what tragedy! A betrayal to the name of my father! Oh, what have I done-?
Yara: (Snerking.) He laments as if he actually got some action to regret.
Yonehana: Akki, I'm sure the lady's as torn as you are. Next scene.
ACT 2, SCENE 1
Yonehana: Akki - Romeo, where are you going?
Machida: Koichi-kun...
Akiyama: (Strikes a pose.) I must find him-!
Yara: You'll make him run screaming. Literally.
Yonehana: Again.
Akiyama: He probably hasn't eaten...
Yonehana: He'll come back. There are instant noodles here.
Yara: (Looking at Machida.) Are there?
Machida: (Writhes in torment.)
Akiyama: (Exits.)
"Where is he...?" Machida asks plaintively, as he and Yonehana walk along the halls in search.
"I wonder. You'd think finding Akki would be less needle-in-haystack and more elephant-in-cornfield," Yonehana says. "He's probably hiding from us."
"I meant Koichi-kun..." Machida tells him. Plaintively.
"If we find Akki, we'll find Koichi," Yonehana grins. "Probably."
Machida makes a depressed face.
A gaggle of shrieking girls runs past, and more pour from the toilet block up ahead.
"Giant creepy pervert--!"
"--his face!"
"Well," Yonehana deadpans. "He's definitely hiding from us."
Machida's eyes are wide. "Do you think Koichi-kun is in there too...?"
Yonehana grins. "Maybe. Why don't you go find out?"
Machida rushes the female toilets, and Yonehana stretches, turning to go back to the rehearsal room. "Guess we can skip the balcony scene as well then," he says to himself, "and cut straight to Mercutio's death."
ACT 2, SCENES 2, 3, 4, 5...
Akiyama: (Re-enters, trailed by Machida, both layered in bruises and depression. And Koichiless.)
Yonehana: What, you're still both alive? Amazing.
Yara: No, that's good. I finally get another cool scene, so we're not skipping it.
Yonehana: You mean a swordfight.
Machida: Koichi-kun...
Yara: (Standing, sword drawn.) Come on, Maachin. Prepare to die!
Machida: Koichi-kun...
Yonehana: He's already a zombie. And the sooner you kill Mercutio, the sooner Romeo will kill you.
Akiyama: I wouldn't kill Tybalt. He's my kinsman now! I love him! In time, he will see to love me also!
Yara: What the hell, you freak. I'd rather die.
Yonehana: We skipped the marriage scene too, Akki. Just FYI.
"DID SOMEBODY SAY MARRIAGE?" Nagase hollers. He throws the door open, Koichi in his arms.
"KOUCHAN!" Akiyama shouts, and leaps to his feet in euphoria.
"KOICHIII---------!" Machida shrieks, following suit. He titters on his toes.
"Be mine!"
Koichi laughs, clinging to Nagase like a lifeline.
"Sorry kids," Nagase grins. "This one belongs to me."
"We found him first!" Akiyama protests.
"You're his dad!" Machida cries. "That's incest!"
"You're his cousin." Yonehana kicks their leader in the bum for having selective morals, making Machida squeak.
Yara crosses his arms at Nagase. "Aren't you dating Saki-chan anyway? Nagaibu is supposed to be the hottest thing this winter."
"Where did you get that namesquish?" Yonehana smacks Yara on the shoulder, on a roll. "What have you been reading?"
"Nagaibu!" Koichi giggles.
Nagase is unperturbed. "Can't I have both...?"
"That's definitely NG!" Machida cries. "Koichi-kun is one per household!"
"I am?" Koichi laughs. "How many Domoto are there?"
"Maachin..." Akiyama says.
"...what?"
"Nothing," Yonehana says firmly.
"What he means," Yara supplies, "is go back to school."
Machida's face falls in dejected confusion.
Nagase is just as confused, but more used to handling (his own) stupidity under scrutiny. "The point is that you can't have him ♥," he says with conviction, and cuddles Koichi closer.
ACT 3, SCENE 1
Yonehana: (Loudly.) There will be no wedding. There will be no plans to consummate the marriage. There will be no climbing garden walls to 'come on, you prude' or 'can't we at least watch'.
Yara: Prude.
Yonehana: (Grinning.) You die now.
Yara: How about no.
Yonehana: It's in the script. ♥
Yara: The script can bite my balls.
ACT 3, SCENE 4
"What?" Nagase asks, brows knitted, uncomprehending. "You want to give him to Matchy-san for a mascot?"
"Not want to give!" Machida stresses.
Yonehana shrugs. "Rather, Matchy-san wants to take. According to Yara."
Nagase frowns. "Well Matchy-san can't have him either."
"Nagase-kun is so noble!" Akiyama swoons.
"He said 'either', Akki," Yara points out.
Yonehana hits him. "Yaracchi, don't burst his manly bubble."
ACT 4, SCENES 2-4
Nagase: (Aside.) Hey? Oh, Matchy-san! Hi. Yeah, no-- it's Koichi's phone... Nagase. I'm fine, by the way. Yourself? ...yeah. I mean, ...no, look. Kouchan's here, but he's sleeping right now, so I'll... eh? Seriously...? Yeah? Okay, then that's cool... I'll tell him when he wakes up... Yeah-- huh? Okay, thanks. Bye.
Yonehana: Matchy-san?
Nagase: (Nonplussed.) He wants Koichi as a mascot for Kondo Racing.
Yara: Are you serious?
Nagase: Like, for tomorrow.
Machida: You said yes?!
Nagase: Sure, why not?
Akiyama: Kouchan's a very busy man, and much more important than a mascot! He should at least get to be a the driver.
Yonehana: Akki, do you want him to die?
Yara: Anyway, let's have lunch. I'm starving.
Yonehana: The dead don't need to eat.
Yara: The dead don't need to wait for the living. I'll meet you guys at the cafeteria.
Machida: ...Yaracchi, wait, wait! I'm dead too, aren't I? Yay!
Yonehana: Nagase-kun, do you want anything?
Nagase: Ahaha, I'm not letting kouhai buy me food! Here, I'll shout you.
Yonehana: (Grinning.) Okay, I'm there.
Machida: FOOD! YAY!
(Exeunt.)
ACT 5, SCENES 1-3
With an excess of holy reverence, Akiyama approaches the bench upon which Koichi sleeps. "Still so beautiful," Akiyama murmurs, "as if surely he is not tired at all. And so petit..." He kneels beside the Prince and watches intently the sleeping face. "I..."
Koichi coughs, and rubs his eyes. "Mnneghurnmlu... he mumbles.
"Ah!" Akiyama exclaims softly. "Too cute. ♥"
"AH," Koichi shouts, suddenly awake. "TOO CLOSE
Chorus: And they all live happily ever after.
Sort of.
-END-
*
Title: Akiyama+Koichi, the tragedy that never (really) was.
Details: Musical Academy. G. Oneshot.
Summary: If MA did Romeo+Juliet...? Dumbassery, mostly in script form. :D
Notes: Written before news of the actual JE Romeo+Juliet announcement! ♥ ...I thought it was funny anyway.
AKIYAMA+KOICHI, THE TRAGEDY THAT NEVER (REALLY) WAS.
Dramatis Personae
• Juliet of Capulet: Domoto Koichi
• Romeo of Montague: Akiyama Jun
• Benvolio: Yonehana Tsuyoshi
• Mercutio: Machida Shingo
• Tybalt: Yara Tomoyuki
ACT 1, SCENE 1
Benvolio (a Montague, cousin to Romeo) attempts to stop a brawl between Montague and Capulet servants, but Tybalt sees the drawn sword and declares a hatred for peace as deep as his hatred for the Montagues. The scene degenerates into a fight that continues until the Prince arrives and declares death on the next person to break the peace.
Yara: Ever the peace keeper, aren't you, Yone?
Yonehana: I'm Benvolio now, thanks.
Yara: That name's too hard to say.
Yonehana: Learn it, please.
Yara: I'd rather learn our swordfight. ♥ (Draws sword.)
Yonehana: Bring it on, Capulet scum.
Yara: Name calling, ouch.
(The two engage in furious battle.)
Yara: What the hell happened to just biting your thumb?
Yonehana: My nail broke. Sorry.
"The Prince is supposed to come in and stop us," Yara says, calling a pause to catch his breath. "Who's going to play him, anyway?"
"Koichi-kun!" Machida flails.
"That wasn't a trick question, Maachin," Yonehana says. "Koichi-san's Juliet this time."
Machida's face falls. "I wish I could be Romeo..."
He goes ignored.
"So... the guy for Prince Escalus, huh?"
Machida claps. "What about Nakai-kun!"
For five minutes straight, Yonehana doesn't stop laughing.
The fight clears, and Benvolio meets with Romeo. Melancholy, Romeo tells of his unrequited love for Rosaline. Benvolio counsels Romeo to find someone prettier and forget her, but Romeo contends that the woman he loves is the most beautiful of all, and that he cannot be taught to forget his love. Benvolio resolves to try make him anyway.
Yara: From peace keeper to match maker now, Yone?
Yonehana: You're not in this scene, Yaracchi. Go entertain Maachin.
Yara: Bastard.
Akiyama: (Waxing lyric at the nonexistent moon.) He sees me not for what I am, but merely what I do! I am but a humble backdancer. How can I make his eyes turn upon me with favour, that I may feel the radiance of his smile, and the warmth of his professional gaze?
Yara: (From the wings.) Nobody could miss you unless they were blind, you great lout. Who the hell are you talking about, anyway?
Akiyama: Domoto Tsuyoshi-kun, my one and only true love-!
Yonehana: ...you mean Rosaline. Hey, man. Forget him. Her. I'll take you clubbing and we'll find you someone else under five-foot five.
ACT 1, SCENE 2
Matchy asks Nagase if he can adopt Koichi as Kondo Racing's team mascot. Nagase reckons that'd be ace, but respectfully tells Matchy that Koichi still has a couple of spotlight years left in him before he can go be useless. But hey, Matchy's welcome to come and try warm Koichi to the idea in the meantime - they're throwing a party and there'll be plenty of hot chicks.
Akiyama hears that these 'hot chicks' include Domoto Tsuyoshi - which is (really, honestly) the only reason he agrees to Yonehana and Machida's gatecrashing ways. Because outcasts aren't invited to elite parties.
"That isn't what the script says," Yonehana points out. He sounds a little peevish.
"No shit, Sherlock," Yara drawls, a grin on his face. "But it's the gist of it. We Capulets bring all the girls to the yard."
"Will Koichi-kun be there?" Machida asks, thinly reedy.
"Of course," Yara says. "Nagase's her dad."
Machida blinks. "Naga..se's... h... d..."
Yonehana waves a hand in front of Machida's face. No response. "Yaracchi, you broke him," he says dryly.
ACT 1, SCENE 3
"We can skip this one," Yonehana says. "It's Koichi-san's and he's still not here yet."
Machida's face is depressed.
"Cheer up, Maachin," Yara tells him. "It's just about Koichi finding out Matchy wants him for a mascot, and saying he'll consider the deal."
"Alright," Machida says.
"Tsuyoshi-kun..." Akiyama weeps.
Casually, Yara kicks him in the shin.
ACT 1, SCENE 4
"...let's skip this one too," Yara says. "It looks boring."
"Just because you're not in it," Yonehana snorts.
"Come on," Yara says. "It's only you three dawdling before you gatecrash. Totally boring!"
"Akiyama delivers a precognitive line about dreaming that the night will change fate," Yonehana points out.
Yara just rolls his eyes. "Right. As if he isn't already depressed enough."
"It also shows Maachin's character for the first time."
"And nobody needs to see that. Next."
ACT 1, SCENE 5
Romeo falls head over heels when he first sees Juliet, immediately forgetting about Rosaline, and declaring that he has never been in love until this moment. Tybalt overhears, recognising Romeo's voice, and calls for his sword. Capulet of Capulet lays a smackdown on Tybalt for wanting to kill people during the partay. Humiliated, Tybalt swears never to forget the indignity.
"Skip," Yara says.
Yonehana laughs in his face.
Romeo approaches Juliet, and takes her hand. They flirt around with religious metaphors and end up kissing. Twice--
Yara: Yo!
Koichi: (Enters.) Sorry I'm late, the meeting ran overtime.
Yonehana: Not at all.
Machida: Koichiii---------!
Koichi: (Sidesteps.) Your voice is too high!
Akiyama: Kouchan... (Stands... crosses the floor.)
Koichi: ?
Akiyama: Kouchan... you're not late at all! ♥ In fact, you're just in time.
Yonehana: (Coughs.)
Yara: (Gags.)
Koichi: Just in time for what?
Akiyama: We get to kiss. ♥♥ Please do take this pilgrim's sin-!
Koichi: Ahahaha... (Turns, exits.)
The door swings shut in Koichi's wake, and Yara smirks.
Akiyama's face falls.
Machida collapses.
"I guess he's got another meeting," Yonehana shrugs. "Let's move on."
Akiyama: No... my heart! My love...!
Yonehana: Romeo, seriously. Next scene please.
Akiyama: Benvolio! Who was he, his face as radiant as the rising sun-! I must know...!
Machida: (From the wings, whimpering.) Koichi-kun... I wish I were a Capulet, too... ;;
Yara: (From the wings, aside.) That's what you call an incest fetish, kids.
Akiyama: A Capulet-!? Surely not! My heart has been torn asunder! Oh, what tragedy! A betrayal to the name of my father! Oh, what have I done-?
Yara: (Snerking.) He laments as if he actually got some action to regret.
Yonehana: Akki, I'm sure the lady's as torn as you are. Next scene.
ACT 2, SCENE 1
Yonehana: Akki - Romeo, where are you going?
Machida: Koichi-kun...
Akiyama: (Strikes a pose.) I must find him-!
Yara: You'll make him run screaming. Literally.
Yonehana: Again.
Akiyama: He probably hasn't eaten...
Yonehana: He'll come back. There are instant noodles here.
Yara: (Looking at Machida.) Are there?
Machida: (Writhes in torment.)
Akiyama: (Exits.)
"Where is he...?" Machida asks plaintively, as he and Yonehana walk along the halls in search.
"I wonder. You'd think finding Akki would be less needle-in-haystack and more elephant-in-cornfield," Yonehana says. "He's probably hiding from us."
"I meant Koichi-kun..." Machida tells him. Plaintively.
"If we find Akki, we'll find Koichi," Yonehana grins. "Probably."
Machida makes a depressed face.
A gaggle of shrieking girls runs past, and more pour from the toilet block up ahead.
"Giant creepy pervert--!"
"--his face!"
"Well," Yonehana deadpans. "He's definitely hiding from us."
Machida's eyes are wide. "Do you think Koichi-kun is in there too...?"
Yonehana grins. "Maybe. Why don't you go find out?"
Machida rushes the female toilets, and Yonehana stretches, turning to go back to the rehearsal room. "Guess we can skip the balcony scene as well then," he says to himself, "and cut straight to Mercutio's death."
ACT 2, SCENES 2, 3, 4, 5...
Akiyama: (Re-enters, trailed by Machida, both layered in bruises and depression. And Koichiless.)
Yonehana: What, you're still both alive? Amazing.
Yara: No, that's good. I finally get another cool scene, so we're not skipping it.
Yonehana: You mean a swordfight.
Machida: Koichi-kun...
Yara: (Standing, sword drawn.) Come on, Maachin. Prepare to die!
Machida: Koichi-kun...
Yonehana: He's already a zombie. And the sooner you kill Mercutio, the sooner Romeo will kill you.
Akiyama: I wouldn't kill Tybalt. He's my kinsman now! I love him! In time, he will see to love me also!
Yara: What the hell, you freak. I'd rather die.
Yonehana: We skipped the marriage scene too, Akki. Just FYI.
"DID SOMEBODY SAY MARRIAGE?" Nagase hollers. He throws the door open, Koichi in his arms.
"KOUCHAN!" Akiyama shouts, and leaps to his feet in euphoria.
"KOICHIII---------!" Machida shrieks, following suit. He titters on his toes.
"Be mine!"
Koichi laughs, clinging to Nagase like a lifeline.
"Sorry kids," Nagase grins. "This one belongs to me."
"We found him first!" Akiyama protests.
"You're his dad!" Machida cries. "That's incest!"
"You're his cousin." Yonehana kicks their leader in the bum for having selective morals, making Machida squeak.
Yara crosses his arms at Nagase. "Aren't you dating Saki-chan anyway? Nagaibu is supposed to be the hottest thing this winter."
"Where did you get that namesquish?" Yonehana smacks Yara on the shoulder, on a roll. "What have you been reading?"
"Nagaibu!" Koichi giggles.
Nagase is unperturbed. "Can't I have both...?"
"That's definitely NG!" Machida cries. "Koichi-kun is one per household!"
"I am?" Koichi laughs. "How many Domoto are there?"
"Maachin..." Akiyama says.
"...what?"
"Nothing," Yonehana says firmly.
"What he means," Yara supplies, "is go back to school."
Machida's face falls in dejected confusion.
Nagase is just as confused, but more used to handling (his own) stupidity under scrutiny. "The point is that you can't have him ♥," he says with conviction, and cuddles Koichi closer.
ACT 3, SCENE 1
Yonehana: (Loudly.) There will be no wedding. There will be no plans to consummate the marriage. There will be no climbing garden walls to 'come on, you prude' or 'can't we at least watch'.
Yara: Prude.
Yonehana: (Grinning.) You die now.
Yara: How about no.
Yonehana: It's in the script. ♥
Yara: The script can bite my balls.
ACT 3, SCENE 4
"What?" Nagase asks, brows knitted, uncomprehending. "You want to give him to Matchy-san for a mascot?"
"Not want to give!" Machida stresses.
Yonehana shrugs. "Rather, Matchy-san wants to take. According to Yara."
Nagase frowns. "Well Matchy-san can't have him either."
"Nagase-kun is so noble!" Akiyama swoons.
"He said 'either', Akki," Yara points out.
Yonehana hits him. "Yaracchi, don't burst his manly bubble."
ACT 4, SCENES 2-4
Nagase: (Aside.) Hey? Oh, Matchy-san! Hi. Yeah, no-- it's Koichi's phone... Nagase. I'm fine, by the way. Yourself? ...yeah. I mean, ...no, look. Kouchan's here, but he's sleeping right now, so I'll... eh? Seriously...? Yeah? Okay, then that's cool... I'll tell him when he wakes up... Yeah-- huh? Okay, thanks. Bye.
Yonehana: Matchy-san?
Nagase: (Nonplussed.) He wants Koichi as a mascot for Kondo Racing.
Yara: Are you serious?
Nagase: Like, for tomorrow.
Machida: You said yes?!
Nagase: Sure, why not?
Akiyama: Kouchan's a very busy man, and much more important than a mascot! He should at least get to be a the driver.
Yonehana: Akki, do you want him to die?
Yara: Anyway, let's have lunch. I'm starving.
Yonehana: The dead don't need to eat.
Yara: The dead don't need to wait for the living. I'll meet you guys at the cafeteria.
Machida: ...Yaracchi, wait, wait! I'm dead too, aren't I? Yay!
Yonehana: Nagase-kun, do you want anything?
Nagase: Ahaha, I'm not letting kouhai buy me food! Here, I'll shout you.
Yonehana: (Grinning.) Okay, I'm there.
Machida: FOOD! YAY!
(Exeunt.)
ACT 5, SCENES 1-3
With an excess of holy reverence, Akiyama approaches the bench upon which Koichi sleeps. "Still so beautiful," Akiyama murmurs, "as if surely he is not tired at all. And so petit..." He kneels beside the Prince and watches intently the sleeping face. "I..."
Koichi coughs, and rubs his eyes. "Mnneghurnmlu... he mumbles.
"Ah!" Akiyama exclaims softly. "Too cute. ♥"
"AH," Koichi shouts, suddenly awake. "TOO CLOSE
Chorus: And they all live happily ever after.
Sort of.
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