[one-shot] In Training
Title: In Training
Author: diamondsofsix
Beta: lykwhoah
Prompt: #38 Complain
Rating: pg/pg-13
Genre: General, angst (hurt/comfort?)
Pairing(s): Yoko/Ohkura
Words: 2400
Author's Notes: Watching the latest can!jani episode with Yoko and Ohkura training at the temple I got pretty inspired.
The silence in the small room was broken by a pitiful sound. A sort of sniff a child would make in fear of being heard but unable to keep the sadness in anymore. Yoko drifted out of the shallow sleep he had managed to attain and was for a moment confused as to where he was. The pain crept through his muddled consciousness and he suddenly remembered every exhausting detail of the previous day. His feet were cramping because of the constant cold they had been subjected to and even if he was huddling under a futon the wind seemed to sneak under the duvets and into his very bones.
That the jimusho had agreed to send them to a Buddhist temple to train for two days still seemed quite unbelievable to him. But the aches in his right shoulder after the hits he had received during the meditation earlier that day made it all too real. If Yoko had been a bolder man he would have gone right out and told them how ridiculous this was. Entertainment indeed!
The whimper that had awakened him sounded again and drew Yoko out of his trail of thoughts, making him aware of Ohkura shivering violently beside him.
‘Ohkura, are you sleeping?’ asked Yoko in a whisper, clenching his teeth together so they would stop rattling against each other
‘N-no,’ answered Ohkura in a barely audible voice, ‘I can’t sleep, I am shivering too much. It’s so cold.’
‘I can’t believe this, I seriously can’t,’ whined Yoko from underneath his blanket. He had nearly lost the feeling in his nose and was trying to warm it back to life. ‘We’re Johnny’s!’
For once Ohkura opted for silence instead of complaint, probably using all his energy on trying to still his convulsing body.
‘It has to be way under freezing,’ continued Yoko, talking to himself now that Ohkura seemed too preoccupied to hear him.
The intense cold came from the howling wind outside, seeming nearly strong enough to blow down the walls around them. The building was old and even though it had been built by proper craftsmen it had inevitably resettled during the years, leaving gaps in the woodwork for the wind to sneak in.
‘Am I going to die? I can’t feel my feet at all.’
Ohkura’s voice was small and muffled by his futon, but Yoko could just make out his thin squeaking. The misery in his voice made Yoko realize that Ohkura wasn’t asking this to be funny; he was genuinely concerned about his own survival.
It was curious to Yoko how someone like Ohkura could be so fragile. He was both the tallest and the broadest built in their group, and with his usually genuine calm he often helped Yoko settle down in new and strange environments. Despite this Ohkura would always shy away the second he faced something challenging and let someone else take the burden for him. It would have been cute if it hadn’t been so incredibly annoying. And exhausting.
There was no source of light in the room, but having lied staring out in the darkness Yoko fancied that his eyes had adjusted to it. There was a darker lump in front of him which was Ohkura and if he used his fantasy he imagined that he could glint the top of Ohkura’s head and his mop of black hair. The fact that he was neither alone nor the most scared gave Yoko some comfort. He felt nearly brave watching the silhouette in front of him shiver in the darkness. Yoko rarely thought about it but Ohkura was his kouhai and he felt a certain responsibility because of that.
It was in moments like these Yoko wished he could have been just a bit more like Hina; the man always knew what to do. He seemed practically immune to rejection, but Yoko was not. Frankly; he was terrified of it.
Despite this he uncurled carefully and reached out a stiff hand, letting it rest on top of Ohkura’s futon where he believed his shoulder to be. The bulge moved slightly as Ohkura turned around and stared back into the darkness to where Yoko was. There was a silent few seconds where Yoko was sure Ohkura would either shrug off his hand or move away, and it surprised him when he started to wiggle closer instead. Ohkura didn’t stop until he was so close Yoko could feel the entire length of his body pressure against his own.
‘What one doesn’t do for survival, ‘eh?’ giggled Yoko quietly, feeling more than hearing Ohkura’s quiet laughter in response.
‘I’m so tired,’ sighed Ohkura for what had to be the hundredth time that day. ‘I just want to go home. It’s not like this is a necessary thing that needs to be done. So I don’t understand why we have to do it. Yokoyama, can’t we go home?’
Ohkura’s aversion to any labour was bordering on ridiculous, but for once Yoko understood what he was on about. Perhaps they still had more in common that just food; they were both lazy and prone to indulgence.
‘What makes you so popular anyway, you’re just a whiny little kid,’ muttered Yoko sleepily, feeling his muscles relax enough to give him some relative peace.
‘What?’ asked Ohkura suddenly and turned his head again, staring blindly back at Yoko. ‘What did you say?’
After smiling as charmingly as he could despite the fact that Ohkura couldn’t see, Yoko gave a noncommittal shrug instead.
‘Are you still cold?’ he asked as a way of diversion, noticing that Ohkura had stopped convulsing but was still shivering. He had yet to lie down again, making Yoko feel uncomfortable because he was unable to use the facial expression to judge his intentions. Finally Ohkura flopped back down; his head so close to Yoko he could feel the hair tickle his face. It didn’t smell of anything in particular, something which was quite unusual for Ohkura who loved to douse himself in cologne.
‘I did work hard for what I have you know,’ he said in a quiet murmur, turning his head so that their noses nearly brushed. Yoko’s hand was still resting on top of Ohkura’s chest and he could feel it rise and fall in a steady rhythm, the shivers seemed to have stilled completely. There wasn’t much Yoko felt he could say to Ohkura’s statement because he was sure it was true. He watched all his group members work hard coming up with new and original projects as they went further away from Johnny’s Entertainment, focusing on their other talents instead. His mother had told him during one of their habitual fights that Yoko had given up trying many years ago and even if he still was in Kanjani8 the aggressive drive he had once had was now gone. He agreed, where he had been jealous but willing to do something about it, it had recently turned into watching everyone walk by him passively.
On good days Yoko was easily able to forget all this and continued on with his life as normally as he could, but then there were times when he was too tired to keep the feelings at bay anymore. Nights when he had worked long and hard and the disappointments had been queuing up incessantly, ultimately leaving him no strength for pretend games anymore.
Heaving a great sigh Yoko prepared to turn around on his futon when a hand on his arm stopped him. Ohkura was holding it, his face still too close for comfort letting Yoko smell the hunger on his breath. Taken by surprise at the intimacy Yoko couldn’t do much but freeze, waiting for Ohkura to do whatever he had meant to do. The other man didn’t move, only held onto the hand Yoko had resting on his chest. His was warmer than Yoko’s after having been protected under the covers and it made his skin burn.
‘Do you… Do you sometimes wonder what would have happened if we didn’t enter Johnny’s?’ asked Ohkura eventually, quietly as if this was a forbidden thought they hadn’t all gone over one too many times before.
‘No,’ answered Yoko shortly, wondering whether to continue or to let it rest. He was too tired and really just wanted to go back to sleep, still he felt that Ohkura deserved a proper answer. ‘I don’t really wonder about it. I know what would have happened, it doesn’t matter now.’
Yoko knew he would still have been working at some construction site building houses. Maybe he would have gotten a promotion after so many years, but it certainly wouldn’t have contained suits or offices. He’d most probably be married to some local girl, maybe even with a baby on its way. Some days Yoko wondered whether he could have been happier like that.
‘I miss you,’ said Ohkura with words spoken slowly and deliberately. Yoko drew in a breath of surprise and would have snapped his hand back hadn’t it been held in place by Ohkura. ‘We used to be much closer, remember?’
Of course Yoko remembered. It couldn’t have been more than three years ago that they spent nearly every single day together, but now they never even went out to eat. There was something about Ohkura that had changed when his popularity had increased. Maybe not with Ohkura himself, but the way Yoko saw him. He had gotten busier during the years and Yoko had felt left behind. The phonecalls from Ohkura had become fewer and further between and eventually they had stopped altogether.
Feeling cast off Yoko wouldn’t really mention it, only letting his bitterness shine through with his playful jokes and jabs in various talk shows. But that was years ago and Yoko would never have thought that Ohkura still cared about it, even remembered it. He had been one of many who had moved on from Yoko when other things became more exciting.
‘Do you miss me?’ asked Ohkura when no answer was forthcoming from Yoko. His breath was warm and brushed Yoko’s face when he talked, he could nearly feel his lips move.
‘I miss you,’ answered Yoko, his voice hoarse with disuse and reluctance to talk. It was dark and they were so close, just the two of them now without anyone else in a way they hadn’t been for a very long time. Suddenly he rolled over and onto his side facing Yoko fully, the hand he had used to hold Yoko’s let go and instead reached up to lightly rest on his face. The unexpected closeness had Yoko so surprised he didn’t know how to react and because of it he laid completely still while Ohkura caressed his cheek. A thousand thoughts thundered through his mind at once but no matter how he looked at the situation he couldn’t understand what was going on. Then Ohkura kissed him and a thousand light bulbs were lit at once.
It was a dry kiss with only their lips pressing against each other and Ohkura’s long fingers trailing through his curls. Yoko’s heart was pounding so hard in his chest it hurt, but still he felt oddly calm. The seconds ticked by and Ohkura still wasn’t pulling away, making Yoko wonder whether he was supposed to.
Eventually they both broke the kiss and the silence between them was heavy and laden with questions.
‘W-what…?’ he croaked, still too shocked to really form anything coherent. Had it just been the closeness or had Ohkura meant something more by it? Was it a joke? Yoko didn’t really think Ohkura was the sort of person to fool around like that. If it had been Aiba or Subaru maybe, but not Ohkura.
His hand had gone back to caressing Yoko’s cheek, slowly and carefully as if petting a fragile bird. The closeness felt good and Yoko couldn’t help but shut his eyes and lean into the warmth of Ohkura’s palm. He was still wondering why he was allowing this, why it was even happening in the first place. There had been so many years where they had known each other and Yoko had never felt this atmosphere between them. Ohkura had always been the young and careless boy whom when he finally sat behind the drums would beat away as if he could crush every pain and obstacle in his life. Frustration and strength shone in his posture then, his invincibility.
‘Do you want me to stop?’ asked Ohkura in a broken whisper, his finger trailing down Yoko’s jaw and up to the corner of his lips. Yoko couldn’t force his voice anymore and merely shook his head. No he didn’t want him to stop; he wanted to be even closer. Leaning in Yoko touched him softly, but Ohkura’s grip became forceful and crushed them together; bruising their lips and tugging at Yoko’s hair, nails scraping against his scalp. There was a need there which left Yoko breathless and even more confused. Something wet fell on his face as Ohkura leaned over him, hot drops of what he realized was tears. The frozen immobility he had suffered finally melted and Yoko let his arms hold around Ohkura tightly. Somewhere along the way their mouths had opened and Ohkura’s tongue was inside Yoko’s mouth, twisting and turning hungrily. There was a need and intensity in the kiss Yoko understood had nothing to do with sexual desire, just the need to be impossibly close.
Yoko let Ohkura take of him what he wanted and just held him tight all the while. When their kiss finally ended Ohkura had begun shaking again, this time from exertion rather than cold. Still in their embrace he lied down to rest in the nape of Yoko’s neck. Slowly their breath evened out and Ohkura’s tears dried up.
‘I feel safe with you,’ he mumbled after a while, tickling the sensitive skin on Yoko’s throat.
Yoko felt a sudden appreciation for Ohkura’s incessant whining. When he was weak Yoko could be strong, then he could be invincible. It was the greatest gift anyone could give him and so he smiled quietly to himself in the dark.
Author: diamondsofsix
Beta: lykwhoah
Prompt: #38 Complain
Rating: pg/pg-13
Genre: General, angst (hurt/comfort?)
Pairing(s): Yoko/Ohkura
Words: 2400
Author's Notes: Watching the latest can!jani episode with Yoko and Ohkura training at the temple I got pretty inspired.
The silence in the small room was broken by a pitiful sound. A sort of sniff a child would make in fear of being heard but unable to keep the sadness in anymore. Yoko drifted out of the shallow sleep he had managed to attain and was for a moment confused as to where he was. The pain crept through his muddled consciousness and he suddenly remembered every exhausting detail of the previous day. His feet were cramping because of the constant cold they had been subjected to and even if he was huddling under a futon the wind seemed to sneak under the duvets and into his very bones.
That the jimusho had agreed to send them to a Buddhist temple to train for two days still seemed quite unbelievable to him. But the aches in his right shoulder after the hits he had received during the meditation earlier that day made it all too real. If Yoko had been a bolder man he would have gone right out and told them how ridiculous this was. Entertainment indeed!
The whimper that had awakened him sounded again and drew Yoko out of his trail of thoughts, making him aware of Ohkura shivering violently beside him.
‘Ohkura, are you sleeping?’ asked Yoko in a whisper, clenching his teeth together so they would stop rattling against each other
‘N-no,’ answered Ohkura in a barely audible voice, ‘I can’t sleep, I am shivering too much. It’s so cold.’
‘I can’t believe this, I seriously can’t,’ whined Yoko from underneath his blanket. He had nearly lost the feeling in his nose and was trying to warm it back to life. ‘We’re Johnny’s!’
For once Ohkura opted for silence instead of complaint, probably using all his energy on trying to still his convulsing body.
‘It has to be way under freezing,’ continued Yoko, talking to himself now that Ohkura seemed too preoccupied to hear him.
The intense cold came from the howling wind outside, seeming nearly strong enough to blow down the walls around them. The building was old and even though it had been built by proper craftsmen it had inevitably resettled during the years, leaving gaps in the woodwork for the wind to sneak in.
‘Am I going to die? I can’t feel my feet at all.’
Ohkura’s voice was small and muffled by his futon, but Yoko could just make out his thin squeaking. The misery in his voice made Yoko realize that Ohkura wasn’t asking this to be funny; he was genuinely concerned about his own survival.
It was curious to Yoko how someone like Ohkura could be so fragile. He was both the tallest and the broadest built in their group, and with his usually genuine calm he often helped Yoko settle down in new and strange environments. Despite this Ohkura would always shy away the second he faced something challenging and let someone else take the burden for him. It would have been cute if it hadn’t been so incredibly annoying. And exhausting.
There was no source of light in the room, but having lied staring out in the darkness Yoko fancied that his eyes had adjusted to it. There was a darker lump in front of him which was Ohkura and if he used his fantasy he imagined that he could glint the top of Ohkura’s head and his mop of black hair. The fact that he was neither alone nor the most scared gave Yoko some comfort. He felt nearly brave watching the silhouette in front of him shiver in the darkness. Yoko rarely thought about it but Ohkura was his kouhai and he felt a certain responsibility because of that.
It was in moments like these Yoko wished he could have been just a bit more like Hina; the man always knew what to do. He seemed practically immune to rejection, but Yoko was not. Frankly; he was terrified of it.
Despite this he uncurled carefully and reached out a stiff hand, letting it rest on top of Ohkura’s futon where he believed his shoulder to be. The bulge moved slightly as Ohkura turned around and stared back into the darkness to where Yoko was. There was a silent few seconds where Yoko was sure Ohkura would either shrug off his hand or move away, and it surprised him when he started to wiggle closer instead. Ohkura didn’t stop until he was so close Yoko could feel the entire length of his body pressure against his own.
‘What one doesn’t do for survival, ‘eh?’ giggled Yoko quietly, feeling more than hearing Ohkura’s quiet laughter in response.
‘I’m so tired,’ sighed Ohkura for what had to be the hundredth time that day. ‘I just want to go home. It’s not like this is a necessary thing that needs to be done. So I don’t understand why we have to do it. Yokoyama, can’t we go home?’
Ohkura’s aversion to any labour was bordering on ridiculous, but for once Yoko understood what he was on about. Perhaps they still had more in common that just food; they were both lazy and prone to indulgence.
‘What makes you so popular anyway, you’re just a whiny little kid,’ muttered Yoko sleepily, feeling his muscles relax enough to give him some relative peace.
‘What?’ asked Ohkura suddenly and turned his head again, staring blindly back at Yoko. ‘What did you say?’
After smiling as charmingly as he could despite the fact that Ohkura couldn’t see, Yoko gave a noncommittal shrug instead.
‘Are you still cold?’ he asked as a way of diversion, noticing that Ohkura had stopped convulsing but was still shivering. He had yet to lie down again, making Yoko feel uncomfortable because he was unable to use the facial expression to judge his intentions. Finally Ohkura flopped back down; his head so close to Yoko he could feel the hair tickle his face. It didn’t smell of anything in particular, something which was quite unusual for Ohkura who loved to douse himself in cologne.
‘I did work hard for what I have you know,’ he said in a quiet murmur, turning his head so that their noses nearly brushed. Yoko’s hand was still resting on top of Ohkura’s chest and he could feel it rise and fall in a steady rhythm, the shivers seemed to have stilled completely. There wasn’t much Yoko felt he could say to Ohkura’s statement because he was sure it was true. He watched all his group members work hard coming up with new and original projects as they went further away from Johnny’s Entertainment, focusing on their other talents instead. His mother had told him during one of their habitual fights that Yoko had given up trying many years ago and even if he still was in Kanjani8 the aggressive drive he had once had was now gone. He agreed, where he had been jealous but willing to do something about it, it had recently turned into watching everyone walk by him passively.
On good days Yoko was easily able to forget all this and continued on with his life as normally as he could, but then there were times when he was too tired to keep the feelings at bay anymore. Nights when he had worked long and hard and the disappointments had been queuing up incessantly, ultimately leaving him no strength for pretend games anymore.
Heaving a great sigh Yoko prepared to turn around on his futon when a hand on his arm stopped him. Ohkura was holding it, his face still too close for comfort letting Yoko smell the hunger on his breath. Taken by surprise at the intimacy Yoko couldn’t do much but freeze, waiting for Ohkura to do whatever he had meant to do. The other man didn’t move, only held onto the hand Yoko had resting on his chest. His was warmer than Yoko’s after having been protected under the covers and it made his skin burn.
‘Do you… Do you sometimes wonder what would have happened if we didn’t enter Johnny’s?’ asked Ohkura eventually, quietly as if this was a forbidden thought they hadn’t all gone over one too many times before.
‘No,’ answered Yoko shortly, wondering whether to continue or to let it rest. He was too tired and really just wanted to go back to sleep, still he felt that Ohkura deserved a proper answer. ‘I don’t really wonder about it. I know what would have happened, it doesn’t matter now.’
Yoko knew he would still have been working at some construction site building houses. Maybe he would have gotten a promotion after so many years, but it certainly wouldn’t have contained suits or offices. He’d most probably be married to some local girl, maybe even with a baby on its way. Some days Yoko wondered whether he could have been happier like that.
‘I miss you,’ said Ohkura with words spoken slowly and deliberately. Yoko drew in a breath of surprise and would have snapped his hand back hadn’t it been held in place by Ohkura. ‘We used to be much closer, remember?’
Of course Yoko remembered. It couldn’t have been more than three years ago that they spent nearly every single day together, but now they never even went out to eat. There was something about Ohkura that had changed when his popularity had increased. Maybe not with Ohkura himself, but the way Yoko saw him. He had gotten busier during the years and Yoko had felt left behind. The phonecalls from Ohkura had become fewer and further between and eventually they had stopped altogether.
Feeling cast off Yoko wouldn’t really mention it, only letting his bitterness shine through with his playful jokes and jabs in various talk shows. But that was years ago and Yoko would never have thought that Ohkura still cared about it, even remembered it. He had been one of many who had moved on from Yoko when other things became more exciting.
‘Do you miss me?’ asked Ohkura when no answer was forthcoming from Yoko. His breath was warm and brushed Yoko’s face when he talked, he could nearly feel his lips move.
‘I miss you,’ answered Yoko, his voice hoarse with disuse and reluctance to talk. It was dark and they were so close, just the two of them now without anyone else in a way they hadn’t been for a very long time. Suddenly he rolled over and onto his side facing Yoko fully, the hand he had used to hold Yoko’s let go and instead reached up to lightly rest on his face. The unexpected closeness had Yoko so surprised he didn’t know how to react and because of it he laid completely still while Ohkura caressed his cheek. A thousand thoughts thundered through his mind at once but no matter how he looked at the situation he couldn’t understand what was going on. Then Ohkura kissed him and a thousand light bulbs were lit at once.
It was a dry kiss with only their lips pressing against each other and Ohkura’s long fingers trailing through his curls. Yoko’s heart was pounding so hard in his chest it hurt, but still he felt oddly calm. The seconds ticked by and Ohkura still wasn’t pulling away, making Yoko wonder whether he was supposed to.
Eventually they both broke the kiss and the silence between them was heavy and laden with questions.
‘W-what…?’ he croaked, still too shocked to really form anything coherent. Had it just been the closeness or had Ohkura meant something more by it? Was it a joke? Yoko didn’t really think Ohkura was the sort of person to fool around like that. If it had been Aiba or Subaru maybe, but not Ohkura.
His hand had gone back to caressing Yoko’s cheek, slowly and carefully as if petting a fragile bird. The closeness felt good and Yoko couldn’t help but shut his eyes and lean into the warmth of Ohkura’s palm. He was still wondering why he was allowing this, why it was even happening in the first place. There had been so many years where they had known each other and Yoko had never felt this atmosphere between them. Ohkura had always been the young and careless boy whom when he finally sat behind the drums would beat away as if he could crush every pain and obstacle in his life. Frustration and strength shone in his posture then, his invincibility.
‘Do you want me to stop?’ asked Ohkura in a broken whisper, his finger trailing down Yoko’s jaw and up to the corner of his lips. Yoko couldn’t force his voice anymore and merely shook his head. No he didn’t want him to stop; he wanted to be even closer. Leaning in Yoko touched him softly, but Ohkura’s grip became forceful and crushed them together; bruising their lips and tugging at Yoko’s hair, nails scraping against his scalp. There was a need there which left Yoko breathless and even more confused. Something wet fell on his face as Ohkura leaned over him, hot drops of what he realized was tears. The frozen immobility he had suffered finally melted and Yoko let his arms hold around Ohkura tightly. Somewhere along the way their mouths had opened and Ohkura’s tongue was inside Yoko’s mouth, twisting and turning hungrily. There was a need and intensity in the kiss Yoko understood had nothing to do with sexual desire, just the need to be impossibly close.
Yoko let Ohkura take of him what he wanted and just held him tight all the while. When their kiss finally ended Ohkura had begun shaking again, this time from exertion rather than cold. Still in their embrace he lied down to rest in the nape of Yoko’s neck. Slowly their breath evened out and Ohkura’s tears dried up.
‘I feel safe with you,’ he mumbled after a while, tickling the sensitive skin on Yoko’s throat.
Yoko felt a sudden appreciation for Ohkura’s incessant whining. When he was weak Yoko could be strong, then he could be invincible. It was the greatest gift anyone could give him and so he smiled quietly to himself in the dark.