Comments | didgeridoodle: [fanfiction] Soundless Wings

didgeridoodle

[fanfiction] Soundless Wings

Dec 25, 2010 09:25

Title: Soundless Wings

Author: didgeridoodle
Rating: T
Genre: Humor/Romance
Characters: America, England and some civilians.
Pairings: America/England
Word Count: 3,346
Warnings: Some swearing on England's part.

Summary: To somewhat assuage England's stress from work, America presents him the most unusual of treats - a ride in a hot air balloon.

Notes: Written for strawberryburst ( Read more... )

category: oneshot, fanfiction, character: england, character: america, genre: humor, genre: romance/fluff, fandom: hetalia axis powers

Comments 21

osco_blue_fairy December 25 2010, 03:51:40 UTC

Oh goodness...America, why so adorable??? This was a seriously cute fic, I thoroughly enjoyed it ^_^. Well done!

didgeridoodle December 27 2010, 21:40:40 UTC

That's why we love him! :) Thanks so much! I'm very grateful that you took the time to read it. :)

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Re: *ahem* didgeridoodle December 27 2010, 21:47:23 UTC

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I'm very much ecstatic that you liked it! I had a first draft written up, but I was all "Mindy wouldn't like this piece of jdcgdgcjhc" so I had to revise it in entirely one fortnight. I'm glad it came out somewhat passable!

Hahaha, England can be such a pain to write, but it's fun. You'd have to be at your wit's end to come up with some snarky commentary. Those English gentlemen sure do have an unusual sense of humor.

America is the master of all things relevant to aviation, after all. A hot air balloon would be a cakewalk for him. Researching about how hot air balloons work was beyond fascinating, ngl.

Ahaha, thank you!

YOU'RE VERY WELCOME! ♥

didgeridoodle December 27 2010, 21:41:43 UTC

:PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

hotbabysitter January 9 2011, 05:40:17 UTC

Very adorable, darling <3

As a side note from someone who just got out of a class that partially focused on the history of ballooning, it was a very French invention (the inventors of the gas were French, the first balloonists were French, etc. etc. Even the most popular balloonist in Britain at the time was Italian, not British). The British generally saw ballooning as a useless, fanciful art and, well, French. Also there was some panic about the French attempting an invasion with balloons which would have been ridiculous because the 10,000 strong force would need 5,000 balloons but that's not relevant xD It might be a nice touch to add some of this resentment and British snobbery added to his grumbling, though :)

hotbabysitter January 9 2011, 05:41:30 UTC

oh and the first successful crossing of the English Channel was by a Frenchman and an American. They argued the whole way across, and the American never flew again xD

didgeridoodle January 10 2011, 06:52:42 UTC

Oh, the Hetalia possibilities of that are endless. :P

hotbabysitter January 10 2011, 07:28:26 UTC

that was that entire class to me xD British Romantic literature? Lots of internal snickering.

Glad I could be of service in any manner :)

Thread 8

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didgeridoodle January 15 2011, 07:05:53 UTC

It's not harsh at all! The whole thing was executed very professionally, in my opinion. And feedback is feedback - I value it all the same. Besides, I'm all for making writing fics as a learning experience. I'm looking forward to improve! :)

didgeridoodle January 15 2011, 07:02:04 UTC

Sorry for the extremely late reply! I had a lot of things on my plate and it all just went downhill from there. ||OTL

I hope it's okay to post my notes here, since you posted it at the workshop comm. Generally, this is excellent aside from a few spelling/grammar mistakes. Also, there are couple of places with awkward syntax. (I can go through these in detail if you like.)

No problem at all! :) Thanks for saying so! If you have time, can you please point them out? Perhaps there are noticeable mistakes that I've failed to gloss over. It'll be great if someone covered up for my lack of foresight. :) I'd appreciate it very much if you pointed out the ones which had the wonky syntax, too. I'll do my best to revise them. Aaand, I do apologize if I'm asking too much or if you're against spoon-feeding. Just say the word! :)

One very important thing, never use the word "chortled." A "real" editor would throw your work in the bin *had a very stern dressing down from her advanced fiction workshop prof*/looks at that line. What would you ( ... )

Thread 10

Workshop Con Crit! shadowfaeyre January 12 2011, 05:40:40 UTC

Hi. :D I had a hunch that you were the writer for a previous fic that I was very impressed with, and now that it's confirmed, I'm glad to read more of your work ( ... )

Re: Workshop Con Crit! didgeridoodle January 15 2011, 15:25:54 UTC

Thanks so much! Those words certainly mean a lot! :)

Oh, I see! I think I try too hard to get into characters' heads, sometimes. I also try to adapt their speech patterns and vocabulary just to emphasize whose point of view it is currently. To hear that this one suits England made my day. It's definitely hard to gauge his snark at times, haha. :)

My favorite part was their banter about crashing, but I did enjoy how you conveyed England's mood throughout the entire thing, though I think that the tone somewhat overpowered things and took away from some of the sweetness.

That's definitely my bad. ||OTL Perhaps I did it go overboard a bit. I tried to compensate for it at the end, but it seems like it hasn't been fleshed out properly ...

The way you explained how easily America takes England's criticisms really spoke a lot about their character, and the dynamics of their relationship with one another; England's response to thoughts on this was great as well, and I liked how we were shown a little crack in his moodiness to try to break ( ... )