these were almost my last words ever I almost died today if you want the story you have to ask me.....for now I need to drink

I can't think of many words that have a universal reaction to them such as the word cancer Its an ugly word when you understand it its a rush of cold blood into the veins We all eventually feel its effects in life...I don't think its really a question, we may be able to choose which types were going to be more succeptible to but theres really no ( Read more... )

I am a lazy, egotistical, quick witted, sub-genius, criminal, calculated, methodical, sly, alcoholic, quasi-evil, villianous, passionate, poetic, dynamic, restless, cold hearted, analytic, musical, self concious, cantankerous, amoral, drug using bastard.....with horrible grammar, and who could quite possibly be completley insane ( Read more... )

Things have been going well over the last 2 days I've sorted out alot of stuff thats been bothering me and feel like I'm getting a much needed breather before the next deluge of shit that might be lurking around....My anniversary passed again and what usually results in me collapsing and being mopey for a day or two has gone a different route...I' ( Read more... )

where the hell am I going?, what am I doing? Why are things that shouldnt bother me driving me nuts? why do I have this nervous anxiety like I'm walking on razorblades ( Read more... )

There have been alot of things bothering me latley my voice of reason seems to be gone and has been replaced by conflicting viewpoints on things and I dont really know what to do ( Read more... )

I was reading through some bukowski poems today at work and got bored so tried to write something close to his style, for better worse heres my attempt ( Read more... )

Kick is still going I've been fucked up for a month straight now and my mind is behaving differently. My sleep pattern is definitley fucked as its 5:30 in the morning and I'm typing this yet to have gone to sleep. But I've somehow had time to think over so much shit and lift a burden of some sorts off of my mind. I have to figure out how to sail ( Read more... )

I dont know why, but I'm both anxious and content at the moment, everythign in my life is pretty much becoming a failure. but thats what life is a long series of failures with fleeting moments of success that usually make up for it. I have to get more serious about music and intend to sit down and get some stuff written this weekend as I don't work ( Read more... )

saturday evening....as some know I've been on the verge of a serious mental breakdown the last couple of weeks....and it finally all came crashing down and got the better of me. I took a very large dose of shrooms and through the state of mind I was in when I took them and the events of the evening the tilt-o-whirl went off the hinges and there ( Read more... )