(no subject)
In my creative writing class we were assigned a self-portrait essay we had to write and turn in today. I did this at 12am after i got home... i say it's good concidering everything.
It’s All Been Said
I didn’t want to but I have to start out with this:
I am a modest person.
And I guess I am so modest I feel weird for even going there. And then for that… but I was told to write about myself. So this is the best I can do right now.
I was born in Anaheim, California. I resent movies like Orange County, and tv shows like The OC because my experience of California was nothing like those shows. Everywhere I’ve been and everyone I’ve known had made me in some way. Even the things I didn’t like, because that’s just how I learn who I am. But right now I’m facing a difficult, drastic change in my life, besides graduation. I’m noticing things in my life that I should have noticed before. I’m appreciating new things and old things. But that doesn’t really explain who I am. I guess what I’m doing is making an excuse for why this isn’t going to be as good as it could be and I’ll tell the truth, I don’t know what makes me me right now.
From what I can tell, the obvious, is that I’m different. But that’s not much to say because everyone is different. But I guess I’m the girl who hears it a lot. “Tiffany, you’re so different from anyone I’ve ever met.” I wish people would just tell me what they meant though. Then maybe I could write this better. I have heard though, a lot about being like a boy only sweeter, more sensitive, and attractive like a girl… It’s because I joke about farting.. and burping, and puking and bowel movements and death and killing and morbid things. I can’t help it. I just think it’s only hilarious. Of course my sense of humor makes up a huge part of me. That’s one I like. Again with the being modest, it’s hard for me to accept that I like things about myself, because I do. I really do.
For example: I think I am one of the most logical people in the world today. I think things through. I think ahead, and I prepare myself. I just GET things, and I understand. I try and feel I do a good job of being a tolerant and understanding person. I accept a lot of things. I’ve had the honor of being the captain of the WHS Blue Belles this year, and I must say, without my tolerance, understanding, and flexibility I would have never got there. I know how to put myself aside or sacrifice my own personal wants for the good of others. And still I’m learning.
I should say I’m a good learner too… I wouldn’t say I’m a fast learner but I’d much rather learn things on my own instead of being taught. When I was learning to drive I did not want someone to show me how. I wanted to go and figure it out myself, because I usually can’t learn when someone’s there to make sure I do. I guess you can say I’m a bit of a rebel (wink). Joke. Computer software, games or certain sites… I’d rather figure it out on my own. Directions, instructions, I usually skip those things. And what makes it a little weird is because I really do feel I already know. I mean, not like being an ignorant stubborn teenager, but I really feel like I already get it.
Confidence you could call it, but I’m not sure if that’s what it really is. I don’t know what makes me believe certain things that I do, but I do. I’m good at having faith when I really do. I do get proud. But I stop because I was proud one time and it was a fluke. I always think I should never do that again. You know, people have things about them that aren’t good… and this is one of mine… lack of acceptance. I know two paragraphs earlier I said I accept a lot of things, and I do. But I don’t do well at accepting credit, or compliments or gifts for no reason. Yes, when it comes to things I’ve worked very hard for I’ll take billions of compliments and all the credits, but if it was something that just kind of came out of me… it’s no big deal guys… really.
Let’s get to the juicy stuff that I know no one really cares to know about me, but they do because everyone is nosey at some point. Oh I know I am. I’m soooo nosey, but that’s not what I’m getting at right now. I have to admit stuff to everyone so that I don’t lie, and maybe this can help me become who I want to be within time. Because I’m really in kind of a tight spot that I need to help myself out, and I’ll use any outlet I’m given.
I’m selfish. I am a selfish person.
I care more about me most of the time than how others are feeling
I will put me before you as an individual.
I will not jump in front of a moving vehicle for you.
I
I
I
Me
Me
Me
And I hate that… I hate people like that and I hate every time I use “I” in these paragraphs. But it’s unavoidable. In a paper about me I’m going to say “I” onehundredandfiftybajillion times before I’ve gone anywhere with it. (And edit on the third line of that: you’ve got to be amazingly special to me before I’d do otherwise, because there are those few.)
Everyone has things about themselves that they don’t like and actually do need to change in order to be a good person. Some people just care less about being a good person. And not all change in people is bad. I’m going to make a lot of changes. First I’m going to be the person who cares about being a good person. Then I’m going to start accepting things. I’m trying to be open. I’m going to be one day. I know it’ll be like when someone has a baby in a movie. I mean the good movies where they’re happy to have the baby… anyway.. it’ll be good. It’ll hit me and my skin will rush with chills and I’ll see a window because I love windows and when I notice one, I mean really notice one and can remember, I know there’s something good. Even if it’s bad, and it’s real life and I’m taking it and holding it and going through it and not dying or being torn into shreds by it, it’s good.
I’ve rushed into this. This whole talking about me and explaining who I am, thing. And I’m sorry, but not matter how I try I’m not going to really be able to tell you who I am. Because I’m not a person you can just write down on paper and everyone can think they know them. And I could go on and on saying what I’m not, but that wouldn’t work because at some time I’ll have been that. All I can tell you is, I believe in real life. I believe in everything that happens, even if I don’t know why. I believe in myself, and that I could very well be the best person you’ll ever meet if you can think that too. But I wouldn’t want you to. Haha, okay, if you really did I’d let you, because I’m learning on accepting things. I’ve got a lot in me, and I can take more and more and more. Is it silly to be modest? I just don’t want to be the one to waste. It really has all been said, and I wouldn’t be surprised if some of these same sentences are in other people’s self-portraits. I’m learning.
It’s All Been Said
I didn’t want to but I have to start out with this:
I am a modest person.
And I guess I am so modest I feel weird for even going there. And then for that… but I was told to write about myself. So this is the best I can do right now.
I was born in Anaheim, California. I resent movies like Orange County, and tv shows like The OC because my experience of California was nothing like those shows. Everywhere I’ve been and everyone I’ve known had made me in some way. Even the things I didn’t like, because that’s just how I learn who I am. But right now I’m facing a difficult, drastic change in my life, besides graduation. I’m noticing things in my life that I should have noticed before. I’m appreciating new things and old things. But that doesn’t really explain who I am. I guess what I’m doing is making an excuse for why this isn’t going to be as good as it could be and I’ll tell the truth, I don’t know what makes me me right now.
From what I can tell, the obvious, is that I’m different. But that’s not much to say because everyone is different. But I guess I’m the girl who hears it a lot. “Tiffany, you’re so different from anyone I’ve ever met.” I wish people would just tell me what they meant though. Then maybe I could write this better. I have heard though, a lot about being like a boy only sweeter, more sensitive, and attractive like a girl… It’s because I joke about farting.. and burping, and puking and bowel movements and death and killing and morbid things. I can’t help it. I just think it’s only hilarious. Of course my sense of humor makes up a huge part of me. That’s one I like. Again with the being modest, it’s hard for me to accept that I like things about myself, because I do. I really do.
For example: I think I am one of the most logical people in the world today. I think things through. I think ahead, and I prepare myself. I just GET things, and I understand. I try and feel I do a good job of being a tolerant and understanding person. I accept a lot of things. I’ve had the honor of being the captain of the WHS Blue Belles this year, and I must say, without my tolerance, understanding, and flexibility I would have never got there. I know how to put myself aside or sacrifice my own personal wants for the good of others. And still I’m learning.
I should say I’m a good learner too… I wouldn’t say I’m a fast learner but I’d much rather learn things on my own instead of being taught. When I was learning to drive I did not want someone to show me how. I wanted to go and figure it out myself, because I usually can’t learn when someone’s there to make sure I do. I guess you can say I’m a bit of a rebel (wink). Joke. Computer software, games or certain sites… I’d rather figure it out on my own. Directions, instructions, I usually skip those things. And what makes it a little weird is because I really do feel I already know. I mean, not like being an ignorant stubborn teenager, but I really feel like I already get it.
Confidence you could call it, but I’m not sure if that’s what it really is. I don’t know what makes me believe certain things that I do, but I do. I’m good at having faith when I really do. I do get proud. But I stop because I was proud one time and it was a fluke. I always think I should never do that again. You know, people have things about them that aren’t good… and this is one of mine… lack of acceptance. I know two paragraphs earlier I said I accept a lot of things, and I do. But I don’t do well at accepting credit, or compliments or gifts for no reason. Yes, when it comes to things I’ve worked very hard for I’ll take billions of compliments and all the credits, but if it was something that just kind of came out of me… it’s no big deal guys… really.
Let’s get to the juicy stuff that I know no one really cares to know about me, but they do because everyone is nosey at some point. Oh I know I am. I’m soooo nosey, but that’s not what I’m getting at right now. I have to admit stuff to everyone so that I don’t lie, and maybe this can help me become who I want to be within time. Because I’m really in kind of a tight spot that I need to help myself out, and I’ll use any outlet I’m given.
I’m selfish. I am a selfish person.
I care more about me most of the time than how others are feeling
I will put me before you as an individual.
I will not jump in front of a moving vehicle for you.
I
I
I
Me
Me
Me
And I hate that… I hate people like that and I hate every time I use “I” in these paragraphs. But it’s unavoidable. In a paper about me I’m going to say “I” onehundredandfiftybajillion times before I’ve gone anywhere with it. (And edit on the third line of that: you’ve got to be amazingly special to me before I’d do otherwise, because there are those few.)
Everyone has things about themselves that they don’t like and actually do need to change in order to be a good person. Some people just care less about being a good person. And not all change in people is bad. I’m going to make a lot of changes. First I’m going to be the person who cares about being a good person. Then I’m going to start accepting things. I’m trying to be open. I’m going to be one day. I know it’ll be like when someone has a baby in a movie. I mean the good movies where they’re happy to have the baby… anyway.. it’ll be good. It’ll hit me and my skin will rush with chills and I’ll see a window because I love windows and when I notice one, I mean really notice one and can remember, I know there’s something good. Even if it’s bad, and it’s real life and I’m taking it and holding it and going through it and not dying or being torn into shreds by it, it’s good.
I’ve rushed into this. This whole talking about me and explaining who I am, thing. And I’m sorry, but not matter how I try I’m not going to really be able to tell you who I am. Because I’m not a person you can just write down on paper and everyone can think they know them. And I could go on and on saying what I’m not, but that wouldn’t work because at some time I’ll have been that. All I can tell you is, I believe in real life. I believe in everything that happens, even if I don’t know why. I believe in myself, and that I could very well be the best person you’ll ever meet if you can think that too. But I wouldn’t want you to. Haha, okay, if you really did I’d let you, because I’m learning on accepting things. I’ve got a lot in me, and I can take more and more and more. Is it silly to be modest? I just don’t want to be the one to waste. It really has all been said, and I wouldn’t be surprised if some of these same sentences are in other people’s self-portraits. I’m learning.