I am having thinky thoughts tonight, and they are about genitals.

[dietpunkfics]

More importantly, what happens when your genitals get sick.

You see, today, I did something that I've been needing to do for well over a year now.

[cut for slight personal info]I finally went to the doctor to things checked out *ahem* down there, since I've known that I've had some sort of infection for about that long. Money issues and all prevented me from going and getting

Comments

[mamamia1964]

That practical part of my brain that says "really? The guys can orgasm 15 times in one evening?" Also wonders about safe sex. Mind you, there is usually some mention of condoms during intercourse, but almost never for oral

[dietpunkfics]

Well, the worst thing is that it kind of lends towards the trend of people just not knowing. I mean, I went to school in an abstinence only district, and we couldn't ask questions about birth control or having sex safely or even how to put a condom on.

Abstinence only or abstinence based education programs are actually fairly common. There's that stigma, that even though these diseases are fairly common, if you get one you're basically a whore.

It's just interesting to see how in depth some people go into illnesses, injuries, or what have you, and it's this wonderful h/c fic, but... No. Stds are a Very Bad Thing, and always happen because someone did something terrible.

[skyenapped]

I've noticed this too, you hardly read about protection being used during oral. I think it's a lack of knowledge on the risk and less escapism or suspending belief or whatnot... Like, I don't think people realize there are risks involved with that, too, you know?

And honestly, I didn't either. I was pretty ignorant to a lot of it up until last year when I went through a bunch of crap related to this...and it really opened my eyes. And now I'm pretty much an expert on the topic. But my relationship still went up in flames....

Excellent point though Meg. Glad someone brought this up.

[dietpunkfics]

I think that's what we all do. God, isn't it a relief when you see those statistics and see how common it really is? Or the fact that some you can catch and they're totally silent for years.

I'm encountering the relationship impact right now, so... I'll see what happens, and work through it in fic form prolly.

I mean, relationships can survive this. They don't always, but they can. We'll see what happens with me and Jon, though.

[skyenapped]

For me it was a huge relief! What kills me is the stigma and how ignorant people are on the topic, especially when, like you mentioned, people can carry something and not even know it. And I been a lab tech off and on for 4 years so I know all about the testing and the panels and incubation periods and all that, like how long it takes things to show up on tests etc., and I realized how much people really have no idea what they're even being tested for or what is typically left off of a "complete STD panel" (hint- they're not complete at all). So anyway, it's just opened my eyes to a lot of stuff, but yeah, I supposed the stigma is the worst. And the relationship part, but that had a fuck ton more issues to start with so I don't think it was meant to be (ie he assaulted me etc...blah blah).

Ah! Sorry to ramble. This is pandora's box for me. LOL. Anyway, I hope it does work out for you relationship-wise. And if you want to talk about it more or someone to listen, you know where to find me!

[dietpunkfics]

Right? Especially herpes, because one in five people have it now, and basically everyone has the herpes virus in their body, it just might not be HSV2.

And yeah, I was shocked, I literally could only get tested for g/c, I need to go to planned parenthood and get their screening done because it's much more complete.

Apparently he's cool with it, but things seem a little off.

I really think I need to explore this in fic form, tbh. Help myself cope a little.

[ferneberga]

The only I recall a condom being used for a BJ in fiction was in the film Pretty Woman

[dietpunkfics]

Right?

There's almost a negative connotation to using a blowjob during sex! It's like, oh, you want to use a condom for that? Why? Are you dirty?

And the risk is the same as vaginal intercourse!

There's so much ignorance there, and because it used to be common with people who had a lot of sex, now it's got that negative connotation to it. So why no fic about dealing with it, and moving on?

[onlyonechoice]

I think that STDs in fanfic are pretty rare for a couple of reasons:

1. The escapism you mentioned - there's realism that adds a new aspect to the story, and there's realism that takes away from the escapism.

2. As you said yourself, STDs happen all the time, and if they're bacterial infections, easy enough to treat with antibiotics - not all that dramatic. Hell, there are commercials for the drugs on TV :) It's poignant to write someone recovering from a gunshot wound, slowly slipping away due to terminal illness, even the tissue-mountain and uncontrolled cough of pneumonia. I doubt there are meaningful ways to write the shooting, burning pain in his urethra during his morning piss, or the the reality of a herpes outbreak. I don't think anyone wants to remember those photos many of us saw in health class to scare us from having ANY sex, especially not while reading fanfic!

It's one of those things that, like you said, happens a lot in real life. When things are treatable by mundane means, it doesn't really make for compelling fic.

[dietpunkfics]

They may be common, but there's still a very large stigma in regards to it.

I don't know, I'm just having h/c feels, and seeing how my otp would handle that if they'd just hooked up recently.

[sinfulslasher]

I don't mind things getting ignored in fanfic because, as you said, escapism and all that. There's a difference between RL and fanfic, and sometimes I just don't want to deal with too much realism in my PWPs, thank you very much.

What really irks me though is authors making a huge deal out of ZOMG USE CONDOMS OR ELSE and then ignore the obvious (any kind of oral).

I remember one time a looong time ago when I beta-read a fic for a BNF who made a huge production out of the master telling his slave there'll only be safe sex until they both get tested, etc...and then went on to have the slave wake the master up with a blowjob in the morning. And I was like, um, condom? And BNF went, eh, whatevs, totes different, yo! And all the happy little readers squealed about how hawt it all was and how wonderfully responsible and realistic BNF was dealing with the issue. I just facepalmed hard enough to leave fingerprints on my forehead

[sinfulslasher]

Oh, and before I forget, sending good thoughts and healing vibes your way! Shit happens, of course, even if you're careful, but I'm glad you did the responsible thing and went to have things checked out and get it treated. *hugs*

[dietpunkfics]

The thing was, it wasn't me being careful, it's when I was dicking around before I got my shit fully in line. Which is why I kind of felt like I had it coming, I guess; that's why I'm more accepting of it. A lot of times, though, there's a lot of shaming that goes on if you catch one, because that must mean you sleep around a lot and you're a skank.

I didn't think it was ok for me to pass that on before I got tested/treated, so I've been celibate. Even when Jon and I hung out over Christmas, even though we've got a thing and hadn't seen each other in two years, we still fooled around a little, and there's still that sense of shame that I had to tell him that because of that, he needs to go get checked.

[dietpunkfics]

.....