And though you say we're just friends and that this love is purely platonic,
I'm hoping that you'll forget after this round of gin and tonic.

This gin and tonic is delicious.
  

This one time, my landlord had to fix something behind a panel in my wall.  I didn't know he was coming, and I wasn't home when he got there.  My room was a mess.  There was all kinds of stuff that had to be moved out of the way so he could get to the wall.  And amidst this chaos...sitting not quite under the bed...right next to the offending panel ( Read more... )

That's the chorus of a song that a girl wrote not long before I quietly watched her eat a disgusting sandwich and she told me we should just be friends.  It's a good song.  I haven't listened to it in a while, but I imagine it's going to stick with me until I find someone who fails to disappoint ( Read more... )

It smells like summer today ( Read more... )

This is it.  This is the time that I dreamed of.  When people ask me what I do, I say, without hesitation, "I'm an actor ( Read more... )

It's been a lot of years since I set foot in a church.  I was loosely raised protestant, but we were a church on easter and christmas kind of family, and then only till I was about 9.  Since that time I've developed my own views of the world, my own sense of morality and truth.  But in all those years of pondering, I never told the church why ( Read more... )

I cleaned today.  Found two handwritten phone numbers of people I used to sleep with.  Surprising.  I can't believe people still write down numbers these days.  Tearing them up and throwing them in the trash has less of an impact when they're still saved in my cellphone contacts.  And when I'm friends with the exes on facebook.  Out of sight out of ( Read more... )

 I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant is so fascinating and bizarre.  And surprisingly it makes me a little sad that I'll never be on it.  I'm sad that I'll never accidentally get pregnant...and not know about it and wonder why I gained some weight and almost kill the kid by drinking and getting no pre-natal care and think I'm just taking a big poo when ( Read more... )

I am not a 300 pound Russian man.

Binary code was invented in cotton mills.

Homosexuals have an agenda, and that agenda is to lure the children of the world with laptop computers, and then eat their poop.

Lady Gaga is younger than me.

When I was a teenager, I told my mom that I hated having my picture taken ( Read more... )