(no subject)

Jan 13, 2010 03:32

 

            Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away, lived a peaceful little kingdom. And within that kingdom lived the beautiful Princess Yao White. The Princess, who was really a boy but his mother had always wanted a daughter, so yeah. Princess Yao White was greatly loved, but alas, one day his mother, America, died. Of eating far too many hamburgers. Princess Yao White was deeply saddened. As was his father, King France. However as time progressed King France fell in love again, with a beautiful, Queen England (well, if you considered eyebrows beautiful).

Princess Yao White did not enjoy his new step-mother though. Especially since Queen England liked to make Yao White do lots of stupid chores.

One day, Queen England sat in front of his magic, magic mirror.

“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” Queen England asked. Because he was like, vain like that. But hey, with eyebrows like that… Well he needed the ego-boost!

“Ew~ Like wax those eyebrows!” Was the comment that Queen England was always greeted with. And the blond cross dressing boy in the mirror who was filing his nails. Queen England felt his eyebrow twitch.

“Answer the bloody question or I’m going to smash this mirror into tw-”

“Okay, okay, like don’t get your panties in a twist!” The blond, Poland, responded. “Like, are you sure you wanna know? Cause you totally won’t like the answer?”

Queen England raised his fist in response.

“Okay, okay! Like, you’re totally, like the fairest and all that jazz. But like, the fairest one in the land totally isn’t you.” The blond raised his hands in an attempt to protect himself. “Don’t smash me!”

“Whose the fairest then!?”

“I cannot tell a lie, it’s like, totally Princess Yao White!”

“… WHAT!?”

Later that day, Queen England pulled aside the huntsman Switzerland, ordering him to take Princess Yao White into the woods and kill his. In return, the huntsman would get all the Swiss Chocolate he would ever want.

So the Huntsman Switzerland took the Princess Yao White deep into the woods. And while Yao White admired the different sorts of herbs and plant life, the huntsman cocked his gun. When Yao White turned around, and saw the gun pointed at his forehead his eyes widened. There was a terrifying still moment, before the huntsman groaned, lowering his gun. “Dammit, you’re lucky.”

“H-Huh?”

“Liechtenstein will be upset with me,” the Swiss scowled, holstering his weapon, before shoving Yao White towards another path. “Quick! You have to run. The evil Queen England wants to kill you.”

“… Why!?”

“I donno. But that’s beside the point! Run or I’ll just shoot you and save us all the trouble of hearing this stupid story!”

By use of narrator powers, Yao White fled through the woods. He continued along his way until he stumbled upon a quaint little cottage. Curiously he approached, knocking on the door. He received no answer, so, naturally, he went inside. He discovered tiny little furniture. As if it was for children. All in sets of seven. Taking the stairs up to the second floor, he came across the bed room. Where he found seven small beds, names on each of them:

Germany(Doc), Greece (Sleepy), Italy (Dopey), Romano  (Grumpy), Spain (Happy), Japan (Sneezey), Canada (Bashful). Blinking in confusion Yao White stared at the names, before shrugging and going to sleep.

Later on, Yao White was awakened to a very loud VE~.

Apparently, he stumbled upon the house of 7 Dwarves. At first, they seemed ready to kick him out. But after Yao White explained his situation, well…

Well Italy cried and begged Germany to let him stay. Greece slept on Japan who seemed not to mind. Romano was busy trying to kill Spain to care and Canada… Well, he just stood off to the side trying to remind his polar bear who he was.

In the end, Yao White was allowed to stay, but on the condition that he would help do chores around the house.

So time passed by, and the Dwarves and Yao White lived happily. And Queen England too was happy.

Until he approached his taped up mirror.

“Oi! Poland, who’s the fairest now.”

“Like, still Yao White,” the Pole responded painting his nails. Queen England nearly smashed the mirror again.

“WHAT!?”

“Like, he’s totally alive. Living with some midgets in the forests.”

“Where!?”

“Um, here,” Poland announced holding up a map. “You go into like the woods, take a left at the creepy tree with like the picture of Belarus, and then keep going straight.”

Queen England was off.

Poland blinked. “You're like… Welcome?”

Queen England raced towards the house of the 7 Dwarves. Using his hocus pocus to disguise himself as a creepy old lady when he neared.

The Dwarves were out at the moment, busy creating something with GERMAN EFFICIENCY! The best kind of efficiency ever. Yao White was busy cleaning the tables when the disguised Queen England approached.

“Would you like to buy some shumai?” He offered through the window gaining Yao White’s attention. It had been a long while since he had had that.

So naturally, he took the shumai, taking a happy. However the moment he took a bite…

He ‘died’ from the horrible cooking.

Queen England meanwhile saw this as a success, and went home.

When the Dwarves arrived home they were all very sad. So they built a Shinatty styled coffin for Yao White and mourned for her. Against the walls of their house.

However, one day, this mourning stopped.

“Who is this beautiful man?” A foreign prince asked, his name Ivan, tilting his head to one side. It was Germany that answered.

“This is Yao White.”

“He is very beautiful,” Ivan commented, blinking wide violet eyes. “Can I kiss him?”

“What!?” Germany shouted, while Italy swooned.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! Like in Sleeping Beauty!? Of course of course!”

“Italy! What have I told you about letting random strangers kiss people!?”

“Not… To let it happen?”

But it was too late. Prince Ivan had opened the shinatty styled coffin, kissing Yao White’s lips.

And like Sleeping Beauty, Yao White’s eyes fluttered open. And as you can imagine, it was love at first sight.

The two rode off into the sunset, and were wed a month later, the 7 Dwarves all cheering happily.

And it truly was, a happily ever after.

Except for Queen England, who just sulked in his room and never won anything.
Previous post Next post
Up