FILLED - (Like Stars Burning Holes) Right Through the Dark [1/6]kototyphMarch 12 2012, 00:21:37 UTC
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After a second of shocked speechlessness, Misha rolls off the bed and follows him out of the room, saying, "Whoa, Jared, what's wrong? What did I say?"
Jared's looking at the wall, the floor, his bag, anything to avoid looking at the other man as he strides for the front door. His long legs eat up the space in three steps, Misha keeping pace only by practically running alongside him. "Jared!"
Jared's hand is on the knob, and he's pulled the door open an inch before Misha's hand hits the wood above, slamming it closed again. "Jared Tristan Padalecki, you will look at me," the Dom orders, tone as firm and pointed as the hand that slides up to close over the back of Jared's neck.
Sometimes Jared hates being a sub, hates that just a solid grip can make his heart slow and his breath even out, lassitude and the desire to obey sapping the tension from his body.
"It's nothing," he lies through his teeth, and it feels bad, wrong to lie to Misha. But Jared isn't collared, is technically a free agent, so he swallows back the instinctive cringe
( ... )
Re: FILLED - (Like Stars Burning Holes) Right Through the Dark [2/6]kototyphMarch 12 2012, 00:22:44 UTC
The funny thing is, until this afternoon Jared had actually been thinking, very vaguely, about what it might be like to ask for Misha's collar. He'd even mentioned it to his brother off-handedly during his last call home, and thoroughly enjoyed Jeff's stunned surprise. He's pictured it plenty of times, soft lighting, maybe a fancy restaurant, maybe just after closing at the bar. Misha picks Jared up from work every night without fail, opens doors and pulls out chairs because he's appallingly old fashioned. It's one of the many things Jared (loves?) about him.
But now that Misha's said it-
Anxiety crawls up his throat again and Jared chokes out, "Please. I need to go."
"Jared, don't." Misha sounds so concerned, and the sub in Jared simultaneously adores the attention and wants to do whatever it takes to erase that concern, transmute it into pride and pleasure.
"I need to go," he repeats, and pulls away.
Misha lets him. There are plenty of Doms who wouldn't, who would force Jared's obedience, who have tried. But Misha is a better friend
( ... )
Re: FILLED - (Like Stars Burning Holes) Right Through the Dark [3/6]kototyphMarch 12 2012, 00:26:17 UTC
Jared left town pretty soon after that. He abandoned his plans, his parents' plans for him, and simply left. It was the hardest thing he'd ever done, and went against his every instinct, but he couldn't stay and watch Jensen claim someone else.
He'd had a basketball scholarship lined up at the local state university, where 95% of his former classmates were also going. That summer, he'd built elaborate visions of his future with Jensen; he'd imagined enduring the one-hour distance as stoically as any martyr before convincing Jensen to move to the city; they'd experiment with ball gags and breathplay in Jared's thin-walled dorm room and scene as loudly as they wanted in Jensen's apartment. When he graduated, they'd move in together, maybe stay in the city, maybe find a place in the suburbs. Get a dog. Raise a family.
Rejected again, too ashamed to meet even other subs' eyes, he'd asked his mother for permission to spend a few days checking out campus. She was too relieved he'd come out of his room for the first time in weeks to be
( ... )
Re: FILLED - (Like Stars Burning Holes) Right Through the Dark [4/6]kototyphMarch 12 2012, 00:27:38 UTC
She shrugs. "He asked if anyone had seen you, passed around a picture like you were some kind of milk carton sub. I tried to play it off, but then Gen came over and was all, 'Oh, is that Jared? He looks so good with short hair, why doesn't he cut it short more often?'" Here Alona gives an eyeroll, but her expression is still more fond than exasperated. "Of course, the guy was all over that."
"What did you tell him?" Jared asks warily.
"I didn't tell him anything," Alona snaps back, too defensively.
Jared sighs, lets his head fall into his hands. "And what did Gen tell him?"
"I managed to stop her from giving out your address," she says dryly. "It was a close thing. Who is this guy, Jare?"
Jared closes his eyes. "A mistake. One I don't intend to repeat."
-
After the bar closes, Jared finds himself huddled on the plastic bench Ms. Ferris set out for smoke breaks, turning his phone in his hands and sinking deeper into a kind of edgy, depressed anxiety.
He doesn't know what Jensen wants, how he found Jared, why he's asking after him. He
( ... )
Re: FILLED - (Like Stars Burning Holes) Right Through the Dark [5/6]kototyphMarch 12 2012, 00:28:28 UTC
Jensen stops short, a few feet shy of where Jared's sitting. "What?"
Jared lifts his head to look directly at him, challenging the way no sub should be. "Why. Are. You. Here?"
The man parts his lips, confusion wrinkling across his forehead, and it suddenly occurs to Jared that Jensen doesn't understand. He does not understand why Jared would not want to see him.
The bastard.
All the wounded anger Jared has been bottling up is transmuting itself into a cold, clear rage, building up behind his teeth like icy venom, so that when Jensen lifts a hand to touch hiss shoulder Jared jerks away so hard that the bench topples, Jared shooting to his feet with an arm flung up between them.
"Why are you here?" he yells, and it echoes oddly between buildings in the wet night. It's probably close to four now and the downtown area's deserted, for which Jared can only be grateful.
"Calm down," Jensen says curtly, and that's one place Misha and Jensen have never been alike. If Jared pushes and tests the boundaries, Jensen will damn well push back, and
( ... )
Re: FILLED - (Like Stars Burning Holes) Right Through the Dark [6/6]kototyphMarch 12 2012, 00:29:22 UTC
"It was your father."
Of all the possible answers Jared has thought of over the years, this is one option that has honestly never occurred to him. "My… dad?" he repeats, stunned.
Jensen flattened his hand across Jared's chest and slid it upwards, until his palm rested at the base of Jared's throat. "He talked to me, after that first time. He's always wanted more for you than he had, Jay, your mom claiming him so young. I wanted more for you, too. I wanted to explain, but you disappeared so quickly I never got the chance. After that, I figured… I thought I'd hurt you enough. I thought it would be better for you if I let you do what you wanted. But," and here Jensen caught Jared's eyes and held them, his own eyes fever-bright and fervent, "Jay, please. I know I don't deserve another chance, but I can't lose you. I love you."
"You… love me?" Jared parrots dumbly back, because it's almost too much information to take in at once: Jensen's here, Jensen was waiting, Jensen loves him, Jensen, Jensen, Jensen.
After a second of shocked speechlessness, Misha rolls off the bed and follows him out of the room, saying, "Whoa, Jared, what's wrong? What did I say?"
Jared's looking at the wall, the floor, his bag, anything to avoid looking at the other man as he strides for the front door. His long legs eat up the space in three steps, Misha keeping pace only by practically running alongside him. "Jared!"
Jared's hand is on the knob, and he's pulled the door open an inch before Misha's hand hits the wood above, slamming it closed again. "Jared Tristan Padalecki, you will look at me," the Dom orders, tone as firm and pointed as the hand that slides up to close over the back of Jared's neck.
Sometimes Jared hates being a sub, hates that just a solid grip can make his heart slow and his breath even out, lassitude and the desire to obey sapping the tension from his body.
"It's nothing," he lies through his teeth, and it feels bad, wrong to lie to Misha. But Jared isn't collared, is technically a free agent, so he swallows back the instinctive cringe ( ... )
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The funny thing is, until this afternoon Jared had actually been thinking, very vaguely, about what it might be like to ask for Misha's collar. He'd even mentioned it to his brother off-handedly during his last call home, and thoroughly enjoyed Jeff's stunned surprise. He's pictured it plenty of times, soft lighting, maybe a fancy restaurant, maybe just after closing at the bar. Misha picks Jared up from work every night without fail, opens doors and pulls out chairs because he's appallingly old fashioned. It's one of the many things Jared (loves?) about him.
But now that Misha's said it-
Anxiety crawls up his throat again and Jared chokes out, "Please. I need to go."
"Jared, don't." Misha sounds so concerned, and the sub in Jared simultaneously adores the attention and wants to do whatever it takes to erase that concern, transmute it into pride and pleasure.
"I need to go," he repeats, and pulls away.
Misha lets him. There are plenty of Doms who wouldn't, who would force Jared's obedience, who have tried. But Misha is a better friend ( ... )
Reply
Jared left town pretty soon after that. He abandoned his plans, his parents' plans for him, and simply left. It was the hardest thing he'd ever done, and went against his every instinct, but he couldn't stay and watch Jensen claim someone else.
He'd had a basketball scholarship lined up at the local state university, where 95% of his former classmates were also going. That summer, he'd built elaborate visions of his future with Jensen; he'd imagined enduring the one-hour distance as stoically as any martyr before convincing Jensen to move to the city; they'd experiment with ball gags and breathplay in Jared's thin-walled dorm room and scene as loudly as they wanted in Jensen's apartment. When he graduated, they'd move in together, maybe stay in the city, maybe find a place in the suburbs. Get a dog. Raise a family.
Rejected again, too ashamed to meet even other subs' eyes, he'd asked his mother for permission to spend a few days checking out campus. She was too relieved he'd come out of his room for the first time in weeks to be ( ... )
Reply
She shrugs. "He asked if anyone had seen you, passed around a picture like you were some kind of milk carton sub. I tried to play it off, but then Gen came over and was all, 'Oh, is that Jared? He looks so good with short hair, why doesn't he cut it short more often?'" Here Alona gives an eyeroll, but her expression is still more fond than exasperated. "Of course, the guy was all over that."
"What did you tell him?" Jared asks warily.
"I didn't tell him anything," Alona snaps back, too defensively.
Jared sighs, lets his head fall into his hands. "And what did Gen tell him?"
"I managed to stop her from giving out your address," she says dryly. "It was a close thing. Who is this guy, Jare?"
Jared closes his eyes. "A mistake. One I don't intend to repeat."
-
After the bar closes, Jared finds himself huddled on the plastic bench Ms. Ferris set out for smoke breaks, turning his phone in his hands and sinking deeper into a kind of edgy, depressed anxiety.
He doesn't know what Jensen wants, how he found Jared, why he's asking after him. He ( ... )
Reply
Jensen stops short, a few feet shy of where Jared's sitting. "What?"
Jared lifts his head to look directly at him, challenging the way no sub should be. "Why. Are. You. Here?"
The man parts his lips, confusion wrinkling across his forehead, and it suddenly occurs to Jared that Jensen doesn't understand. He does not understand why Jared would not want to see him.
The bastard.
All the wounded anger Jared has been bottling up is transmuting itself into a cold, clear rage, building up behind his teeth like icy venom, so that when Jensen lifts a hand to touch hiss shoulder Jared jerks away so hard that the bench topples, Jared shooting to his feet with an arm flung up between them.
"Why are you here?" he yells, and it echoes oddly between buildings in the wet night. It's probably close to four now and the downtown area's deserted, for which Jared can only be grateful.
"Calm down," Jensen says curtly, and that's one place Misha and Jensen have never been alike. If Jared pushes and tests the boundaries, Jensen will damn well push back, and ( ... )
Reply
"It was your father."
Of all the possible answers Jared has thought of over the years, this is one option that has honestly never occurred to him. "My… dad?" he repeats, stunned.
Jensen flattened his hand across Jared's chest and slid it upwards, until his palm rested at the base of Jared's throat. "He talked to me, after that first time. He's always wanted more for you than he had, Jay, your mom claiming him so young. I wanted more for you, too. I wanted to explain, but you disappeared so quickly I never got the chance. After that, I figured… I thought I'd hurt you enough. I thought it would be better for you if I let you do what you wanted. But," and here Jensen caught Jared's eyes and held them, his own eyes fever-bright and fervent, "Jay, please. I know I don't deserve another chance, but I can't lose you. I love you."
"You… love me?" Jared parrots dumbly back, because it's almost too much information to take in at once: Jensen's here, Jensen was waiting, Jensen loves him, Jensen, Jensen, Jensen.
He finally lets himself slump ( ... )
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Thank you for the fill :D
Let me know when you will have the sequel too, I will add the link for it to the List if fills :D
*goes to read*
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Also, just fyi, I'm adding it to j2-recs. <3
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I really hope to see the sequel someday!!
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