Jo's No Good, Very Bad Year 5/7
Neither of them could have guessed that one night would be such a mistake. This is, objectively, because Jo Halbig and David Schlichter are emotional idiots.
Mäx fingers his Les Paul idly, going over the riffs of whatever song that passes through his head as he listens to Fabi talk about Saskia.
He loves her, that much is obvious. She’s all he’s focused on for years, and it’s only gotten worse in the two months since the engagement. Now they’re (read: Saskia is) planning the wedding, so he’s on the phone with her every day. Once Fabi gets off, all he wants to talk about is Saskia.
She’s funny, quick-witted, and a bit snappish when she’s tired. But it’s cute! Fabi feels the need to add. She likes broccoli and hates cauliflower. Her favorite movie is Der Schuh des Manitu, which is great, because Fabi loves that movie, too. Fabi likes it when she sings off-key.
All of this Mäx knows not because he’s genuinely paying attention but because Fabi has reiterated them so many times. Honestly, he’s not the least bit focused on what Fabi’s saying. Saskia was nice the few times Mäx met her and he’s sure he’ll get to know her better once she’s Fabi’s wife, but, for now, he doesn’t see much point in caring. It’s not like there will be a quiz.
Instead, he’s thinking about Jo.
It hurts. Dealing with Jo now, it fucking hurts.
They’re still friends, still good friends but it hurts so damn much. Jo doesn’t understand, doesn’t get that Mäx isn’t good with this, these words. They just spill out of Jo, but Mäx has to work at them, has to revise and revise until what’s in his head is on paper. The more important things are to him, the harder it is for him to speak up.
He’s not socially incompetent by any means but some things are private and those things are hard to say, hard to admit that he feels.
David’s not the only problem. David hurts, but David’s just the culmination of years and years of Jo brushing off Mäx’s feelings, these emotions that he works so damn hard at keeping wrapped up. Jo thinks it’s all a joke, like it’s unimaginable that the two of them would ever get together.
Mäx can’t stop thinking of that day in July. He knows Jo’s not homophobic, knows he’s not even completely straight, but Jo brushes these things off around Mäx like Mäx could never understand or like he thinks Mäx doesn’t want to hear about them. Like there’s something about Jo that Mäx doesn’t want to know. Because that part of his friend can never be Mäx’s, because Jo doesn’t want it to be.
He’s not saying he wants to get married. It’s not part of his goals right now. But ft that’s what Jo wants, does it matter? Obviously, though, Mäx isn’t part of what Jo wants.
It hurts.
ØØØ
A concert wristband emblazoned with KILLERPILZE encircling her right wrist, the girl is pretty with her dark brown eyes, brown hair, and kind smile. Her clothes aren’t colorful enough; her fingers are bare of any rings. She’s at Mäx’s eye level, which is unfortunate but not a big issue because she feels like him. Mäx can’t remember her name, he’s so caught up in her lips parting and the warmth of her mouth. His tongue brushes against hers, the kiss deepening. She really is so much like-
“What. The. Fuck.”
Mäx’s head whips up, the two of them springing apart. The girl- Ayleen- looks guilty, not that she’s got anything to be guilty about. Mäx glares at Jo.
“Did you need something?” he asks, a brutal edge to his voice.
Jo ignores the question. “What the fuck are you doing with this slut?”
Mäx bristles.
“I should go,” Ayleen, laying a hand on his arm, tells Mäx quietly.
“Yeah, you really should,” Jo says.
“Fuck off, you dick,” Ayleen, proving how well Mäx chose this time, snaps. She flips Jo off, mutters something about assholes, and stomps off, not even bothering to look back at Mäx.
“What is wrong with you?” Mäx immediately whirls on Jo. “Seriously, did you need me for something? I really hope you did because otherwise what the fuck, man.”
Jo crosses his arms and sneers.
“Yeah, I did need you for something. But you wouldn’t know that because you’re too busy with your little skank-”
“She wasn’t a skank. Don’t you take this out on her. I don’t even know her.” Mäx realizes that’s not a great selling point. “Besides, you can’t talk.”
“I’m not picking up random sluts.”
“No,” Mäx says quietly. “You’re just acting like one.”
Jo’s eyes flash. For a second, Mäx thinks he’s going to get a fist to the face. He knows Mäx has caught him, though, so he doesn’t respond. There’s no way Jo can say anything about it and also call any of the women Mäx has been with lately anything.
“You should know,” Mäx says when the silence stretches too long because he owes it to Jo, even if Jo is a mess, an absolute trainwreck that’s only getting worse by the day (and Mäx knows. He knows Jo is going out, the same as he always has, only now there’s desperation behind it because Jo, regardless of how he acts, is being strung along and no one deserves that),“David’s-”
“What?” Jo laughs coldly, desperately. It makes Mäx’s chest ache. He doesn’t know why he’s saying what he’s saying or why Jo’s acting this way. He’s so lost, not sure if he’s running on mixed signals or if Jo has finally pushed himself too far and gone completely insane. “Not interested in me? Really. I couldn’t figure that out on my own. I needed you to tell me over and over because I’m too damn stupid to figure it out myself, is that it? Newsflash, Mäx, I’m not a fucking child. I can handle myself. And it’s really none of your business what your brother and I do together.”
“Don’t you think I know my own brother? He’s using you!”
“What if I want to be used? What if I don’t care that it’s real? What if I’m willing to go along with it because I’d just like someone to care about me for once?”
Mäx clenches his hands, nails diggings into his palms. He doesn’t even count as someone to Jo, who would rather be miserable with David than see what’s right in front of him. It’s not anger Mäx feels about that. He sighs.
Jo gets to make his own choices, like everyone else. All Mäx can hope is that he’ll listen to him.
“You picked a real shitty choice, then.”
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Mäx fingers his Les Paul idly, going over the riffs of whatever song that passes through his head as he listens to Fabi talk about Saskia.
He loves her, that much is obvious. She’s all he’s focused on for years, and it’s only gotten worse in the two months since the engagement. Now they’re (read: Saskia is) planning the wedding, so he’s on the phone with her every day. Once Fabi gets off, all he wants to talk about is Saskia.
She’s funny, quick-witted, and a bit snappish when she’s tired. But it’s cute! Fabi feels the need to add. She likes broccoli and hates cauliflower. Her favorite movie is Der Schuh des Manitu, which is great, because Fabi loves that movie, too. Fabi likes it when she sings off-key.
All of this Mäx knows not because he’s genuinely paying attention but because Fabi has reiterated them so many times. Honestly, he’s not the least bit focused on what Fabi’s saying. Saskia was nice the few times Mäx met her and he’s sure he’ll get to know her better once she’s Fabi’s wife, but, for now, he doesn’t see much point in caring. It’s not like there will be a quiz.
Instead, he’s thinking about Jo.
It hurts. Dealing with Jo now, it fucking hurts.
They’re still friends, still good friends but it hurts so damn much. Jo doesn’t understand, doesn’t get that Mäx isn’t good with this, these words. They just spill out of Jo, but Mäx has to work at them, has to revise and revise until what’s in his head is on paper. The more important things are to him, the harder it is for him to speak up.
He’s not socially incompetent by any means but some things are private and those things are hard to say, hard to admit that he feels.
David’s not the only problem. David hurts, but David’s just the culmination of years and years of Jo brushing off Mäx’s feelings, these emotions that he works so damn hard at keeping wrapped up. Jo thinks it’s all a joke, like it’s unimaginable that the two of them would ever get together.
Mäx can’t stop thinking of that day in July. He knows Jo’s not homophobic, knows he’s not even completely straight, but Jo brushes these things off around Mäx like Mäx could never understand or like he thinks Mäx doesn’t want to hear about them. Like there’s something about Jo that Mäx doesn’t want to know. Because that part of his friend can never be Mäx’s, because Jo doesn’t want it to be.
He’s not saying he wants to get married. It’s not part of his goals right now. But ft that’s what Jo wants, does it matter? Obviously, though, Mäx isn’t part of what Jo wants.
It hurts.
ØØØ
A concert wristband emblazoned with KILLERPILZE encircling her right wrist, the girl is pretty with her dark brown eyes, brown hair, and kind smile. Her clothes aren’t colorful enough; her fingers are bare of any rings. She’s at Mäx’s eye level, which is unfortunate but not a big issue because she feels like him. Mäx can’t remember her name, he’s so caught up in her lips parting and the warmth of her mouth. His tongue brushes against hers, the kiss deepening. She really is so much like-
“What. The. Fuck.”
Mäx’s head whips up, the two of them springing apart. The girl- Ayleen- looks guilty, not that she’s got anything to be guilty about. Mäx glares at Jo.
“Did you need something?” he asks, a brutal edge to his voice.
Jo ignores the question. “What the fuck are you doing with this slut?”
Mäx bristles.
“I should go,” Ayleen, laying a hand on his arm, tells Mäx quietly.
“Yeah, you really should,” Jo says.
“Fuck off, you dick,” Ayleen, proving how well Mäx chose this time, snaps. She flips Jo off, mutters something about assholes, and stomps off, not even bothering to look back at Mäx.
“What is wrong with you?” Mäx immediately whirls on Jo. “Seriously, did you need me for something? I really hope you did because otherwise what the fuck, man.”
Jo crosses his arms and sneers.
“Yeah, I did need you for something. But you wouldn’t know that because you’re too busy with your little skank-”
“She wasn’t a skank. Don’t you take this out on her. I don’t even know her.” Mäx realizes that’s not a great selling point. “Besides, you can’t talk.”
“I’m not picking up random sluts.”
“No,” Mäx says quietly. “You’re just acting like one.”
Jo’s eyes flash. For a second, Mäx thinks he’s going to get a fist to the face. He knows Mäx has caught him, though, so he doesn’t respond. There’s no way Jo can say anything about it and also call any of the women Mäx has been with lately anything.
“You should know,” Mäx says when the silence stretches too long because he owes it to Jo, even if Jo is a mess, an absolute trainwreck that’s only getting worse by the day (and Mäx knows. He knows Jo is going out, the same as he always has, only now there’s desperation behind it because Jo, regardless of how he acts, is being strung along and no one deserves that),“David’s-”
“What?” Jo laughs coldly, desperately. It makes Mäx’s chest ache. He doesn’t know why he’s saying what he’s saying or why Jo’s acting this way. He’s so lost, not sure if he’s running on mixed signals or if Jo has finally pushed himself too far and gone completely insane. “Not interested in me? Really. I couldn’t figure that out on my own. I needed you to tell me over and over because I’m too damn stupid to figure it out myself, is that it? Newsflash, Mäx, I’m not a fucking child. I can handle myself. And it’s really none of your business what your brother and I do together.”
“Don’t you think I know my own brother? He’s using you!”
“What if I want to be used? What if I don’t care that it’s real? What if I’m willing to go along with it because I’d just like someone to care about me for once?”
Mäx clenches his hands, nails diggings into his palms. He doesn’t even count as someone to Jo, who would rather be miserable with David than see what’s right in front of him. It’s not anger Mäx feels about that. He sighs.
Jo gets to make his own choices, like everyone else. All Mäx can hope is that he’ll listen to him.
“You picked a real shitty choice, then.”
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