Not weird.
Title: Not weird.
Pairing: Chanyeol and Jongin, talking about Kaisoo and Baekyeol.
Rating: R because of topics.
Summary: Alcohol exist and so do Tuesdays.
A/N: I wrote this becase of this. So... I'm writting this fic for Kayla. Also English is not my mother language.
(Dude)
It was almost Wednesday and Chanyeol knew it. To get drunk on Tuesday was a bad idea, to get drunk with Jongin was even worst. The guy behind the bar practically told them to go home. It will be okay, he said; just a few drinks, he said. Chanyeol was struggling with his pocket because they were eating his keys and the door was dancing in front of his eyes and Jongin was practically glued to his back.
“I don’t know what else to do” Jongin continued, Chanyeol was giggling, his face against the door, it seems like his pockets won the fight because he decided to drop Jongin on the floor, in a second he was sitting next to him. Jongin was caressing the inside of his leg and it would be awkward any other day but at that moment the big guy kept saying, “It tickles, I like it.”
“Pay attention to me” his partner in crime said, “Kungsoo is going to be the dead of me.”
“Stop it,” Chanyeol finally replied, “Kungsoo is such a nice guy, he cooks and cleans and takes your dog out for a walk.”
“But... you have no idea how the real Kungsoo is” Jongin was whining at that point, “sometimes,“ he continued, “when I got home and he is already there he just takes me to the room. He don’t even give me time to take my shoes off!!!” Chanyeol wanted to laugh out loud because the entire night Jongin had been talking about the real Kungsoo but Jongin face looked so devastated and miserable, it almost breaks his heart. He has been like this since the fifth shot of tequila.
Their friends discover the lethal Kai started his sexual life with little Kungsoo three months ago. Knowing Jongin they all assumed things, things that involve a lot of kinky stuff nobody was going to say out loud and Kungsoo being really, really busy with Jongin. The reality however was sharing hot sessions of... holding hands, for more than a year.
“Please,” Jongin said even more desperate, “tell me Baekhyun do something similar.” Chanyeol thought about it, his Baekhyun was kind of the same, he hated shoes in the the house, tho. “Once,” he started, “I woke up with his mouth around my...”
“Cock?” Jongin said with sudden interest and a expression that would break someone’s heart for sure. “NO! You sick bastard, around my finger” Chanyeol told him about that weird day when Baekhyun was sucking on his finger at six freaking in the morning, it was Saturday, about a month ago and he thought his sweet boyfriend was sleep, he wasn’t. Baekhyun gave him a quick and shy explanation about how everybody say how beautiful Baek’s fingers were but he prefer Chanyeol’s because they were long and strong and thick. Mr. Long fingers decide to finish his story talking about how that particular session ended with Baekhyun being fingered, and a very awkward security dude in front of his house because someone called and said, “the gay couple from the 32B was being loud really early in the morning”
“Really?” Jongin’s mood was totally different know. “Kungsoo, usually is really vocal too. Maybe because they are both singers...” he mused. “Maybe because they are both bottoms” Chanyeol said. They burst out laughing at the same time trying to hi-five but failing for about ten centimeters, “Dude your face do the weirdest things.”
“Kungsoo likes to grizzle when I’m about to enter him” Jongin said, “Man, you have no idea how much I freak out the first time” Jongin was a guy who live for details so he needed to explain his friend how much he suffered to finally get in Kungsoo’s pants. After about two years of chasing each other and turn around when the other was about to notice they finally had the ball to reveal his feelings, they had been dating almost a year and Jongin thought he was going to die of blue balls. “Is that even possible?” Chanyeol, asked earning a hit on the head.
“As I was saying,” Jongin continued, “We were in the couch cuddling and suddenly I said, ‘Do you want to sleep with me? Like sleep, sleep.’ Actually, I was expecting him to jump to the floor making those big eyes. I wasn’t expecting cute little Soo to jump me.” Chanyeol expressed his emotion with a fist bump, they hands didn’t even touch but the meaning was there.
“He was a beast. I’m telling you,” Jongin kept telling, turning into desperate mode again, “I thought he was fucking with me but in no time he was really fucking with me. Dude it was crazy. I wanted our first time to be romantic, don’t laugh dude! I wanted candles, petals and shit but we didn’t even make it to the room. Stop laughing! I’m serious.”
“I didn’t know he had it in him” Chanyeol, replied trying to be serious. “Me, neither. One moment we were watching Pororo and the next we were in the floor naked. I can’t believe we did it with Pororo watching us, he was practically talking to us.” Jongin finished pulling his knees toward his body.
“At least he don’t ask you to keep talking. For fucks sake, how on earth Baek expect me to talk when I’m doing all the work? You know thrusting is hard, he just have to be a moaning mess lying happily on the bed while I’m supporting my own weight and work my hips at the same time. But no, he wanted me to keep talking because my voice is such a turn on. What the fuck man.”
“Chan, man, your voice is kinda hot.” Jongin said, giving his friend a pat on the back. “Please don’t say that again... ever” was Chanyeol only answer.
“Just for you to feel better,” Jongin continued, “My Soo love walls. Don’t look at me like that idiot! He really enjoys to be fucked against the wall and that my giant friend, that is truly exhausting,” Chanyeol nodded, agreeing with his friend. “You know that moment, that freaking moment when they are about to cum so they asked you to go harder and faster; and come on with all the moaning and the pleading you can’t help but to give them what they want.”
“The worst happens the day after that,” Chanyeol interrupted, “when you are the animal, you are the beast! You are the one who couldn’t control his hormones. You are the one without feelings.“
“You are the one without a decent breakfast.” Jongin finished.
“Once I offered Baek a massage and know I have to give him one every single day because it seems I have magic fingers” Chanyeol whispered.
“That’s a good idea.” Jongin replied. “You should let me tried those fingers someday.”
“That’s gay!” Chanyeol deadpans.
“Anyway, I was telling you how my princess whine when I’m about to dive in,” Jongin added. “I honestly thought I was Soo first” the little guy started again just to had Chanyeol asking him with huge eyes if he wasn’t Kungsoo’s first, because he seems like an innocent guy and Chanyeol didn’t want to tainted his brain or soul or something so he never asked Kungsoo about that before. “Shut up idiot! I indeed was but the point is that my princess had played with those specific rings before. He didn’t even flinch when I put my first finger inside. I wasn’t mad, of course, I’m not an idiot. I just thought he was going to be all delicate and shy about it. He wasn’t. I put the finger inside and he practically dance against it. So hot, man but unexpected,” Jongin paused looking at the wall with a dreamy look.
“And just to put things in order You don’t have to ask those things to my princess anyway, motherfucker.”
“Calm down, dude” Chanyeol said with a grin, “I will ask Baek, I bet he heard the entire story.”
“Just ask me, you idiot” Jongin replied giving Chanyeol and awkward hug, “I will tell you anything, you are my brother, my soulmate in the matter of friendship, my other friendly half.” Chanyeol noticed his friend was in the verge of tears and he wished to have a camera because he needed to document his tears somehow. Too bad his pants were being a pair of stupid... pants. “Anyway,” the big guy said, trying to put the conversation in a more happy mode, “you were telling you how your princess whine when you are about to give him the meat gift.”
“First tell me please if your Baek is also a insatiable demon when he’s horny because I’m really afraid Soo is sick or something”. Chanyeol knew his friend was being a idiot, of course, cute Kungsoo is acting like that they wait to fuck like a hundred years and now they are finally having a taste of the good life, he want a piece of that for every meal. “Dude everyone is like that at first” he said, “Baek used to come to my classes when they were about to finish and wait for everybody to leave...” Chanyeol said. “And?” Jongin hurried him. “You know my faculty has this creepy ass elevator, right?” Yeol asked with a serious face.
“The one with only two stops,” Jongin answered, “the morgue and the third floor. Please don’t tell me you guys are into that stuff, please, pretty please.”
“Of course we are not into corpses, you dick,” Jongin was being Jongin. “That elevator is really big because you know, it transports dead people and since I’m a good doer the teacher gave me a key to the elevator. One day I wanted to show Baekhyun the pool with corpses and then he developed the urge to asked me to fuck him in that elevator at the end of the classes man. Apparently because he likes the way the floor kind of moves and the sounds of the building,” Chanyeol raised his head and looked directly to Jongin eyes, “To be honest those things freaked me out, it’s like fucking in hell or something but I can’t bring myself to say no to those cute little eyes.”
“That will scare the shit out of me too” Jongin replied, “you said he used to do it, so it’s okay now, right?” his friend asked with a sympathetic face. “Thinking about it” Chanyeol spoke looking at the floor, “he still do it. Almost every Thursday.”
“Man, that is really weird shit,” Jongin said looking at the mess of hair his friend was, “To be honest with you, Soo asked me something really weird, apart for him asking me to bottom, this is the weirdest thing he ever said to me,” Jongin made a dramatic pause to add a little drama because drama is cool and his boyfriend is a weirdo, “he asked me to do it against the window.”
“Jongin, Kai, my friend, that is not weird at all.”
“It’s kind of weird if the windows belongs to our dog and we basically had to fuck in Booboo’s house.” Kai finished.
“Outside or inside?” Chanyeol asked, earning a what the actual fuck look from his friend, because fucking against his dog freaking house is weird and it doesn’t matter if you are inside or outside but just to satisfied his friend curiosity, he said they were inside and it wasn’t as uncomfortable as it sounds.
“Just to adjust my brain, did you said, Soo asked you to bottom?” Chanyeol said.
“I swear it was just curiosity, man! A few weeks ago I had the idea to ask Kungsoo what it feels to be take it up the ass. He started with a lecture about prostates and analingus. I ended up licking his ass that day by the way.”
“It’s not that bad. I like it and Baekhunnie makes the cutest faces,” Chanyeol interrupted.
“Yeah...” Jongin said, hitting Chan’s arm because his friend was in a galaxy far far away at this moment “Man focus! The point is, it was an innocent question but at the end of the morning I was had his dick hitting there. I mean, it wasn’t bad.”
“Yes, it is not that bad,” Chanyeol said without thinking regretting his words because Jongin stop talking and was looking at him with that face, the face who promises eternal mocking and a hundred of hours full of embarrassing replies. “I mean, fuck. We kind of did it.”
“Kind of?” Jongin said feeling like the King of the world, “Just the tip?” he continued giggling, “Don’t mess with me tell me.”
“Fuck, okay. I didn’t plan it, it just kind of happened.” Chanyeol himself wasn’t sure, he told his friend the complete story. He was about to get down to business and when he was ready to defeat the Huns he felt Baekhyun finger in that area. “To be completely honest, it wasn’t weird, Baekhunnie enjoys to play with my area. It was the first time he actually put his finger inside. He started to moan like a fucking porn star man and I just let him play with his finger inside my area.”
“I understand that feeling, bro,” his friend said, “sometimes Soo literally sounds like a freaking alien in heat, for real Channie.”
“Maybe because they are both singers...” Chanyeol mused. “Maybe because they are both bottoms” Jongin repeated. They laugh like idiots because they kind of were really idiots in the first place.
“The point is,” Chanyeol tried to focus again, “in no time he has another finger inside and then another and then I noticed that I was the one moaning. It was kind of embarrassing but what the hell I was supposed to do.”
“Then he just enter you like that?” Jongin asked full of curiosity.
“Yeah! It didn’t even hurt because my Hunnie prepared me like a boss.”
“Kungsoo was a sweetheart too, it only feels weird at the beginning but he kept really still, he started to thrust really slow and then bam I was seeing white.”
“Wait, dude.” Chanyeol said surprised, “You came right away? After a few slow thrust?”
“Shut up, faggot” Jongin said, not a trace of the infamous Kai in his voice. “I couldn’t help it. He was so thick and precise, I look for my angel’s prostate for like ten minutes, he find it in the first thrust. The guy knows.”
“Man, you like it!” Chanyeol teased his friend, “Thinking about it and with all that evidence I guess Kungsoo makes a better seme, he is better than you, tho.”
“Don’t even say that!”, Jongin stopped him putting a hand in his mouth, if his mouth was between his eyes and his nose he succeeded. “If he hear you, I will never hear the end of that.” They both giggled thinking about it.
“So, are we weird or something? It just happen a few times and I still feel like a total seme, I’m The Seme.” Jongin continued.
“A few times? Man you are a total bottom, The ultimate Uke. I’m just kidding bro, don’t give me that face. We have to take Lay and Suho relationship as an example.” Chanyeol mused putting his face in his hands, “Remembered when we went to the beach last year, not the one with the weird guy with the camera”
“I swear my ball are in some porn website” Jongin said.
“Totally.” Chanyeol agreed. “Well in that trip I discovered Suho and Lay take turns.”
“Like turns, turns?” Jongin said with sudden interest.
“Yeah, Lay kinda told me. They are versatiles. So If it feels good, it feels good.”
“Right?” Jongin said with hope in his voice. “So it wasn’t weird or anything right?”
“You are a pair of weird motherfuckers who enjoyed a little to much to have a dick in you thigh little asses!” a voice make the pair jump.
“And...” a second voice said, “if you don’t want to stay here disturbing even more the neighbors with our sex life I encourage you idiots to get in.” The voice said, walking toward the door and open it with an extra set of keys.
“Baekhunnie, Hunnie, unnie, nini. You are here!” Chanyeol said jumping instantly.
“Just get it sweetie,” the second voice repeated.
“You are going to sleep here because I can’t carry you around and it almost morning so get your ass inside” the first voice said.
“I love it when you talk about my ass,” Jongin replied dreamy, walking inside the apartment. The drunk buddies walked towards Chanyeol’s room and decided to cuddle because they are best friends and who the fuck cares.
.
.
.
.
.
.
“I can’t believe his neighbors have our numbers.” Kungsoo said, preparing tea for both of them in the kitchen.
“I can’t believe those idiots decided to get drunk on Tuesday.” Baekhyun replied, making a few sandwiches because when you practically run in the middle of the dawning you are hungry, okay?
“I thought they were going to make out” Kungsoo continued, putting a sugar in the drinks.
“Yeah, what a waste of time,” Baekhyun said, cutting tomatoes peacefully like they were talking about the weather.
“Have you ever thought about a foursome?” both guys said at the same time.
They looked at each other with surprise written all over their faces and laughed because... of reasons.
“I don’t think they can handle it” Kungsoo finally said, supporting himself with the kitchen table.
“If they almost die because our last experiment,” Baekhyun said motioning his fingers like scissors, “I think they will have brain damage just hearing the idea.”
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The fuck I just wrote.