Super Me
Title: Super Me.
Rating: G
Pairing: Slightly!Baekyeol, Onesided!Taoyeol and Taoris.
Genre: superheroes!au, crack
Length: Oneshot.
Word count: 1298 words.
A/N: For adorkabaek I have no idea where did this come from but I really hope you like it.
- English is not my first language so please don't freak out and don't hate me, I'm trying to improve ^^-
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“So... you are Chanyeol’s archenemy,”
“Yeah...”
“What’s the deal with archenemies? I don’t have one yet and since you are here...&rdquo
Both of them were waiting for a ride home and since they were together and haven’t talk properly they decided to sit a few meters away, leaning against a container. Baekhyun spandex suit was making his balls burn but according to the Unicorn Man he will get use to that and his progeny wasn’t in danger. We are not talking about normal spandex, we are talking about super spandex, Yixing said.
Tao wanted Baekhyun to shut up because where the hell did this greasy superhero came from. He hated newbies, they come and change the schema of things, disturb the balance and why was so interested in The Phoenix?
“There is no deal, we battle frequently. I make things explode and Chanyeol stops me. That’s how we roll, basically,” Tao answered anyway.
Baekhyun was having a hard time understanding this superhero thing. It was weird enough waking up three months ago with his mom screaming about spirits and Satan because his palms decided to glow at five in the morning.
“Ummm, and then you do... what exactly?”
This kid was stupid, Tao thought. He didn’t understand the main point about supervillains and superheroes.
“Then I come back to my super secret hiding place to design a new malevolent plan and Chanyeol return to his normal life and waits for me to come with a new malevolent plan.”
“Ummm, and that’s it?”
“Yeah, that’s it,” he answered with disdain
Baekhyun wasn’t looking for explosions or danger in general and to be quiet honest this superhero thing was kind of boring. Even The Phoenix looked more impressive on television than in real life
He remembered the random night a month and a half ago when he appeared in his room and asked him to join the Exoleague of superheroes, he also remember how Chanyeol tripped over his soccer ball and ended up burning the solar system mobile he had hanging from his ceiling. His mother wasn’t pleased and make them both clean everything before any superhero conversation.
Tao let a little sphere roll over the floor and Baekhyun saw the small explosion a few centimeter away from his right foot. He was startled but he met Oculus in his first week and he said superheroes weren’t supposed to express fear while facing the crime and Tempozi was kind of the crime.
“I’ve been working on those,” Tao said, “they will have some sort of tranquilizer in the future or maybe poison. I’m still deciding.”
“You will need a strong one, Chanyeol is kind of big.”
“Yeah. Also I’m not sure which one would be easier to absorb,” Tao replied.
“I think poison would be easier but a tranquilizer would be quicker,” Baekhyun replied.
“I didn’t think about that,” Tao replied and took out his phone to write the new idea.
“Have you already decided your superhero name?” Tempozi asked a few seconds later.
Baekhyun was having a hard time working on that, Kris suggested Light Man but he choose Dragman for himself so he didn’t trust him that much
“Suho told me is a really important decision,” Baekhyun started, “we kind of fought The Troller a few weeks ago even he asked me to take my time, he is kind of nice.”
“Yeah, we meet for dinner yesterday and he told me he told me Fluids Man was thinking about changing his superhero name,” Tao said.
“My mom wants me to be Cardinal Boy,” Baekhyun continued.
“I like it, you already have the red suit,” Tao said thinking with a little bit of envy how Baekhyun ass looked really good in that stupid super suit while his was hidden under his cape.
“Really? Chanyeol like it too because it sounds good beside his,” Baekhyun said. “The Phoenix and Cardinal Boy” he continued a little gloomy, “Why not Cardinal Man or Cardinal Citizen? Why Boy?”
“The disadvantages of being a sidekick.” Tao deadpanned. He hated the idea of Chanyeol having a partner. The Phoenix was his superhero. “Haven’t you think about debuting solo?”
“I’m not ready, I need to train a little more and besides, Sehun started as a sidekick and now he even have his own archenemy now.”
Tao had a lot of thoughts about Ruzgar and Oculus
He, Crystallus, Oculus planned to rob the bank last October. They were almost done when Sehun and Chanyeol defeated them right in front of the bank’s exit. When he was running away home that day he saw Ruzgar and Oculus drinking bubble tea sitting on a bench in a park near Oculus secret lair. Tao was pretty sure Oculus was going to meet Ruzgar’s family on Christmas
“Chanyeol is being really patient with me,” Baekhyun told him, “we went together to buy my super suit and he even talk with my dad about my super power and how it was possible to go to college and fight the crime at the same time,” he finished.
“The Phoenix was a really good student,” Tao said, “we met in college.”
“I know, he told me the story,” Baekhyun said, he thought their super problem was kind of stupid. Knowing Chanyeol and how clumsy he could be was enough to know he didn’t let Tao inside of the reactor on purpose and he gave him his power he should be grateful instead of wanting to destroy the city and stuff.
Tao kept making little spheres explode, Baekhyun wondered if they were Luhan’s. Tempozi seemed like a good guy. He owned a little hotel near the beach, he knew it because Chaneyol was going to take him there after Christmas, they were going to end with Tao secret market of explosives and The Phoenix said they could stay there until January and probably the guys will join them there. Sehun said Oculus and he were going to bring meat
“Xiumin is kind of late,” Tao said breaking his concentration.
“Yeah, Chanyeol said Kris was going to get me because Kai and Kyungsoo were fighting and accidentally destroyed the bridge. Chanyeol is at the other side.”
“They should fuck already,” Tao said.
“Absolutely,” Baekhyun couldn’t agree more.
“Maybe Xiumin is at the other side too. We are working together these days, he is also living with me, Chanyeol melted his lair on August, he’s-”
A potent engine stopped his conversation, Kris was finally there
“Well, I have to go,” Baekhyun started a little awkward, “Kris is here. Chen is going to put a bomb in the capitol but Kris is supposed to be on his way there. He have just enough time to leave me home. I guess he’s not that late so no biggie.”
“Sure, see you around.” Tao said waving at him, “I should be on my way too. Xiumin and I were supposed to make the major old today.”
“Good luck with that. I’ll call Chanyeol to meet you there, I can’t go, I have calculus final tomorrow and I want to practice and sleep a little.”
Baekhyun got into the car. Kris was there looking at his watch worried.
“Are we late?” Baekhyun asked.
“No, but I wanted to eat something before the fight. Suho is busy and it sucks to have to take care of his villain. I hate not to have my own villain” Kris answered looking troubled at his watch again.
“You can have something in my house. I’ll message my mom,” Baekhyun said taking out his phone.
“Thanks. Was that Tempozi?” Kris asked.
“Yes, we kind of met there. He seems like a good guy, if we ignore his super villain stuff, of course.”
“Yeah, I wish he was my archenemy.” Kris said, “Chanyeol was right, you look good in red.”
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Happy Holidays!!!