end of the year meme
Statistics (as best I can figure them, anyway)
Total number of stories: 43
Total word count: 122772 (approximately - I left out some of the comment fics and such. oops).
Slash: 7 (I can't believe that's it, but that's what my tags say)
Gen: 32
Het: 4 (that's a lot, for me)
Longest: 41, 451
Shortest: 281
Fic by month:
Janurary (2)
watch the heavens scream (spn)
untitled snippet (spn)
Feburary (10)
dead end signs and wasted land (spn)
for the ones beneath your skin (spn)
took him three and three (bh)
accidents of faith and nature (spn)
can't forget the ills (spn)
between the saint and the villain (spn)
remember how you said I'd be the one to run away (spn)
with rail yards and clovers (spn)
love me in this fable (spn)
across the crackling sea (spn)
March (2)
untitled (spn)
crash and burn (spn)
April (4)
hallelujah, we'll make it last (spn)
and wish that we could save them all (spn)
oh, and it's the passion that you play (spn)
meet with courtesy and grace (spn)
May (7)
pull the pin (spn)
something that comes and goes (spn)
the fruit of the melancholy tree (spn)
give it up but don't ask why (spn)
burn (spn)
the blank remains of disposable men (spn)
failure to comply (spn)
June (7)
dance while the sky crashes down (spn BIGBANG)
untitled drabble-y thing (spn)
around the lowly grave (spn)
a night with el diablo (spn)
permission is all I need (spn)
the taste of saints (spn)
the war is on your lips (spn)
July (4)
sketched on the barrel of my gun (spn)
what we say and what we save (spn)
the hunger never ends (spn)
untitled bunny!Dean crack (spn)
August (3)
the thinnest frailties (spn)
come out the hero (spn)
the poison in the air (spn)
September (2)
through the hidden door (spn)
the hot wind stirs (spn)
October (0)
November (1)
kissed by the holy fool (spn)
December (1)
the dying bones (spn)
Favorite of the year: Oh, god, really? This is surprisingly hard - not because I'm such a great writer (I'm not, and there's not one story that I've written that I like completely, even my "babies."), but because I tried so many things - crack, schmoop, transformation fic, genderswitch, POVs and characters, not to mention killing off a lot of those characters.
But I guess my personal fave this year would be something that comes and goes - the girl!Sam/Dean fic I wrote for taintedlove. It's schmoopy and indulgent and I think the plot is the most solid thing I've written (because there IS none, nor does it need any. Unlike every other fic of mine :/ ).
Best of the year (and I'm taking this to mean most popular. I could be wrong): I have to say for comments posted versus length of what was written - that little Sammy and Dean-o snippet I basically vomited out on a whim.
Most fun to write: definitely the untitled bunny!Dean story. God, I loved translating Dean's personality into bunny-speak ;D
Most underappreciated: this is hard. I think, because of my writing style and my weaknesses with writing in general, I have a pretty small audience, anyway, and there’s a list of fic that I thought were … interesting that didn’t seem to mesh well with others (*ahem*). I think, for the sheer effort I put in, and for how … I do think it is a good example of me and how I see the characters and … I don’t know. I’d go with my bigbang story, dance while the sky crashes down.
Sexiest fic: uhm? I guess I’d have to go with … permission is all I need, my other girl!Sam/Dean fic. It's not the porniest I've written, but I do think it's the hottest.
"Holy crap, that's wrong even for you": this is another difficult one. I don't think I really write freaky stuff, nor do I veer away from the vanilla side of things. The best that I can do, judging from the head scratching it initially got, is remember how you said I'd be the one to run away.
Fic that shifted my perspective of the characters: I'd have to say, once again, dance while the sky crashes down, simply because everyone had to be stripped down to the basics. This wasn't a story about redemption - that wasn't the focus or the goal. It was about stagnation and what that does to a person's - a community's - humanity. It was about cruelty and desperation even when they loved, or thought they did (and I think that's a very important distinction to make).
Hardest to write: watch the heavens scream. I took this literally. It was ... just so difficult, and I think the struggle I had is apparent in almost every aspect of that story. It reads choppy and clunky and kind of thrown together (moreso than any other fic I've written so far, and that's saying something). I've thought about rewriting it, but ... well, I posted it like that, so it's not fair to go and switch it up, especially this late (I don't think anyone really reads it anyway, so :D ).
Biggest disappointment: I'm torn between WtHS (above) and my latest, the dying bones. I had such big plans for both, and was so excited about executing them, and they all fell kind of flat, and I don't know how to revive them.
Biggest surprise: that would be the MoD 'verse. Everything about it is a surprise: that it's read so much, that I expanded it, that I keep wanting to come back to it and add more.
Most telling: Generally, I think, and to some extent, every story gives something of me away, or I wouldn't write it, or feel the need to write it. The relationship dynamics present in my fic are always, in some way, a reflection of how I interact with the world and with the people in my life. But, without boring anyone with too much RL detail, that desperation, that little beat that makes it hard to breathe while reading some of my fics? That's something of me, something that I can put down, because that suffocating, quiet emotion was the only thing I could let out to make this year a little bit bearable.
But more specifically, I guess (since I've already been asked a few times privately, anyway), the fruit of the melancholy tree (and most of the MoD ficlets) are based on my experience with EDs (or, as I'm fond of saying, some of the tendencies of AN). So, basically, here's my public "yes;" the descriptions of what Sam experiences are taken from my own, I just didn't have a Dean to help me through the worst of it, more's the pity (it was more of the "leave her alone, she'll figure it out and stop," method until I was 80 lbs and sinking. I did, though, figure things out. Eventually).
I'm grateful for fandom. This place has let me experience and share so many things (even if no one knew at the time, it still helped) that I had no other outlet for. I interact with so many lovely, caring people, and they have made my fandom experience as great and personal as it's been. So, to my small and darling flist - you are the best, and I'm so glad I've gotten the chance to know you :D
And here, at the end of 2010, I say:
thank you, fandom, you are wonderful, and I hope 2011 is a beautiful year for every single one of us. I think we deserve it.
<3