(no subject)
...>=(
i hate this its like bad luck has been fucking following me since 5th grade. my dad got sick and hes still sick and now joan[ who is my mother for those who are clueless] and now my nephew. hejust turned and this is second-thrid operation. its not fair and i hate it. i hate that it seems like everytime things start to get better they crash down full force. i currently feel like screaming & crying all in one but i cant. i cant do that, i have to be stronger then that for both my sisters and my dad. i feel so bad i am such a horrible personi wish it was me and not him, this is why i stopped fucking going to church its shit, it does shit! WTF DID WE DO SO WRONG THT YOU HAVE TO FUCKING PUNISH US SO MUCH YOU'RE LIKE A BULLY WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS!!!! i want my family to wake up and not wanna die, i want my family to feel loved and i want them to be healthy, we've been through so much shit. from my dad getting sick, my nephew operation, my slitting my wrist, joan getting sick / having a boyfriend, and now shawn goes through another operation..tell me when does this fucking end? i just want it to all end, all this drama. i mean i dont get a break i had my heart smashed to smithereens, and i was humilated by being cheated on by the one personi trusted and now
..now i have noone
and i am completly alone. he says i can still come to him..how can i, all i see all i hear is betrayl. i hate him for it. AHHH i need to fucking run get away do something. WHERE ARE MY FRIENDS THROUGH ALL THIS WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO SUPPOSIVLY CARE WHERE WHERE WHY THE HELL ARE YOU LEAVING ME ALONE TO DEAL WITH THIS I FUCKING HATE YOU FOR IT I WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU AND YOU CANT EVEN FUCKING SPARE ME A MINUTE TO LISTEN TO ME?! I SEE HOW YOUS ARE AND I SEE THAT I THINK ITS TIME TO DEPART THANK YOU FOR FUCKING LETTING ME DEAL WITH THIS ALL ON MY OWN THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
<3Lonely
you are my sunshine my only sunshine