Avengers fic - The Trouble With Trousers (gen)
Title: The Trouble With Trousers
Author: Dimity Blue
Rating: All
Genre: Gen, humour
Characters: Tony, Bruce
Word Count: 575 words
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Bruce and the Hulk have a bit of a problem. Tony decides to lend a hand.
On AO3.
The Trouble With Trousers
by Dimity Blue
Tony felt a deep satisfaction as Loki was taken into Thor's custody. His living room was utterly destroyed, the light fittings Pepper had picked out were in pieces on the floor, and even Tony's precious bar was a bit smashed up. Tony didn't know what the Hulk had done to Loki but it had obviously been effective. That'd teach Loki to try to take over the world. Talking of the Hulk though...
"You okay, big guy?"
Everyone scattered as the Hulk staggered back and forth, his head swaying. He groaned, the sound coming from deep in his chest, then crashed to the floor. Bits of plaster fell from the ceiling as the green flesh faded to a more normal pale beige colour.
Tony noticed two things: One, Bruce was naked; And two, wow, was his ass white.
There was a pause, then Steve cleared his throat. "Uh, Bruce?"
Bruce suddenly scrambled to his feet, and Tony really could have done without the view. Tony averted his eyes, then hid a grin as Steve swung forward and around, interposing his body and Captain America's shield between Bruce and most of the audience.
Natasha smirked. "Too late."
==========
"This is...amazing!"
Tony shrugged modestly. Bruce's state-of-the-art lab in Stark Tower was pretty neat. Tony knew because he designed it.
"When you said I could live with you, I...I didn't expect this." Bruce turned to him, a suspiciously shiny look in his eyes. "Thank you."
"Well, mi casa es su casa and all that. I just have to know though: Does that happen every time?" As Bruce looked confused, Tony clarified, "Your clothes." .
Bruce turned pink. "Oh, yeah."
"That must be awkward."
"You have no idea."
Tony nodded. Iron Man got to take off the suit when he chose. Even if he wanted to go commando in there, he could save his dignity by returning to the tower first. Bruce had no such option. "Huh. Let me see what I can do."
==========
Tony's first few attempts were abject failures. On the plus side, the specially-built Hulk room got a thorough testing, and Tony proved Iron Man could out-pace a Hulk whose genitals were being crushed. Like, ow.
Then, late one night when Tony was on his fifteenth cup of coffee, it hit him: Unstable molecules.
He sat up straight. "Am I a genius or am I a genius?" That was it. It was perfect. Well, almost. There was a risk Bruce might end up with exploding trousers, but it was either that or have Bruce end up with a public indecency charge. He already would have if that little old lady hadn't been so reasonable. She'd said something about "fanfic" and "I've seen it all" before leaving with a happy smile on her face. Tony felt, at times, it was better to not ask.
So, unstable molecules it was, and with any luck Bruce's trousers wouldn't explode.
==========
"They work!"
To Tony's amusement, Bruce practically bounced out of the Hulk room.
"You are a genius!"
"That's what they say."
As Bruce went off to the common area to show off his new shiny trousers, Tony retired to his workshop and took off the Iron Man suit he'd put on, just in case. He'd seen how fast the Hulk could move when Tony had accidentally crushed his nether regions with spandex. He really didn't want to find out how fast the Hulk could go if Tony set fire to them.
The end.
14th November 2022
Hope you liked it!
Author: Dimity Blue
Rating: All
Genre: Gen, humour
Characters: Tony, Bruce
Word Count: 575 words
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Bruce and the Hulk have a bit of a problem. Tony decides to lend a hand.
On AO3.
The Trouble With Trousers
by Dimity Blue
Tony felt a deep satisfaction as Loki was taken into Thor's custody. His living room was utterly destroyed, the light fittings Pepper had picked out were in pieces on the floor, and even Tony's precious bar was a bit smashed up. Tony didn't know what the Hulk had done to Loki but it had obviously been effective. That'd teach Loki to try to take over the world. Talking of the Hulk though...
"You okay, big guy?"
Everyone scattered as the Hulk staggered back and forth, his head swaying. He groaned, the sound coming from deep in his chest, then crashed to the floor. Bits of plaster fell from the ceiling as the green flesh faded to a more normal pale beige colour.
Tony noticed two things: One, Bruce was naked; And two, wow, was his ass white.
There was a pause, then Steve cleared his throat. "Uh, Bruce?"
Bruce suddenly scrambled to his feet, and Tony really could have done without the view. Tony averted his eyes, then hid a grin as Steve swung forward and around, interposing his body and Captain America's shield between Bruce and most of the audience.
Natasha smirked. "Too late."
==========
"This is...amazing!"
Tony shrugged modestly. Bruce's state-of-the-art lab in Stark Tower was pretty neat. Tony knew because he designed it.
"When you said I could live with you, I...I didn't expect this." Bruce turned to him, a suspiciously shiny look in his eyes. "Thank you."
"Well, mi casa es su casa and all that. I just have to know though: Does that happen every time?" As Bruce looked confused, Tony clarified, "Your clothes." .
Bruce turned pink. "Oh, yeah."
"That must be awkward."
"You have no idea."
Tony nodded. Iron Man got to take off the suit when he chose. Even if he wanted to go commando in there, he could save his dignity by returning to the tower first. Bruce had no such option. "Huh. Let me see what I can do."
==========
Tony's first few attempts were abject failures. On the plus side, the specially-built Hulk room got a thorough testing, and Tony proved Iron Man could out-pace a Hulk whose genitals were being crushed. Like, ow.
Then, late one night when Tony was on his fifteenth cup of coffee, it hit him: Unstable molecules.
He sat up straight. "Am I a genius or am I a genius?" That was it. It was perfect. Well, almost. There was a risk Bruce might end up with exploding trousers, but it was either that or have Bruce end up with a public indecency charge. He already would have if that little old lady hadn't been so reasonable. She'd said something about "fanfic" and "I've seen it all" before leaving with a happy smile on her face. Tony felt, at times, it was better to not ask.
So, unstable molecules it was, and with any luck Bruce's trousers wouldn't explode.
==========
"They work!"
To Tony's amusement, Bruce practically bounced out of the Hulk room.
"You are a genius!"
"That's what they say."
As Bruce went off to the common area to show off his new shiny trousers, Tony retired to his workshop and took off the Iron Man suit he'd put on, just in case. He'd seen how fast the Hulk could move when Tony had accidentally crushed his nether regions with spandex. He really didn't want to find out how fast the Hulk could go if Tony set fire to them.
The end.
14th November 2022
Hope you liked it!