You know what Laura? Fuck off. I never shoulda let you in to begin with. Shoulda killed off all instinct and let it pass on by like any other worthless fucking dirtbag teenage shithole. Yeah that'll work. I'm supposed to be mad at you, so what the fuck? I can't be mad at you, it's so hard even to be upset. Dunno why. I suppose I'll go sit ( Read more... )

I'll be honest. I've fucked things up before. But this one, holy shit this is like the armageddon of all fuck ups. Can a person change? Could I take that shit and change it all to be someone totally different? I feel like I need to. No, I know I need to. So why don't I change? Why don't I become someone else, someone who is better. I'll ( Read more... )

Emailed Jones, finally. Makes no real difference, she most likely won't respond or won't make any real effort towards anything but pure chaos. Meh, welcome to reality.

I miss Suzi.
Immer Sie Liebe.

So my sailing trip was successful, physically anyways. I am alive and so is that shitty boat, Comomae. I'm so tired. I could fall asleep now (it's not even 3pm yet) and stay asleep til tomorrow when I work again at 7am. Ya know what I really want? I wanna just fall asleep with someone. Well, a girl. Okay I wanna fall asleep with Suzi, maybe ( Read more... )

I like cold. I wish it was cold more often. However, cold and dark? No way keep me out of it. Being able to see my breath is sweet, but breathing and knowing I should be able to see my breath but not being able to 'cause it's so fucking dark, I dont like that. Sailing, as I discovered, is also far more relaxing in the coldness. Sure ya cant ( Read more... )

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Note to Self ( Read more... )

There are no coffee cups. There are no cars. We're running out of cigarettes and its raining, rather hard at the moment. You see our delimma? We're stuck in this place, in this repetitive hell without even a slightest chance to escape or even go to meijers to buy long underwear so we dont freeze at night when its 30 degrees outside. If there ( Read more... )

Just occurred to me, I oughtta fill in a little before you go all psycho on me, right? Went to see her Sunday, I think anyways. Sat in her room and played her guitar for a bit and then escaped to go see shark tale which by the way is quite hilarious. Nothing special happened but I'm pretty sure she knows why I come up to visit so often now, ( Read more... )

Cant decide if it gets any better or worse than whats goin on right now. I've finally got someone I really truely love and the great part is that she knows it too. Yes I am that extremely simple. My whole entire life can slowly evolve to depend upon one persons love. Then of course it doesnt get easier. Here, all fucked up, I sit and type to ( Read more... )