merlin - the secret sharer
We're past half way! Already!
In a land of myth and a time of obvious fog machines, a raven has arrived. I wander what message it brings? … Wait, wrong show. In this one, the bird is just a foreboding bird. Quoth the raven: “CAWK CAWK!” Inside, Agravaine sits in Morgana’s hovel, on her bed, stroking her unconscious cheek. When he gets up to mope and stoke the fire, Morgana’s eyes start fluttering and rolling. We see the whites of her eyes and it’s creepy.
Vision time! Not of the future this time, but a brief recap of last week’s events for the benefit of those who missed it. Sheesh, we skip entire YEARS during breaks with this show, but they can’t let you forget a day or so’s worth of action? Morgana wakes. Her boobs are nice. Then, in case you didn’t watch last week and also didn’t get the visuals two seconds ago, Morgana and Agravaine recap it all AGAIN.
They decide that somebody in Camelot is feeding Emrys information and this leads to only one conclusion: Gaius. Uh-oh, Gaius, you’re next on Morgana’s torture list.
Roll opening titles.
Good morning, Arthur’s bare torso! You’re looking inviting on this bright and sunny morning and I should like to get under those covers and snuggle up to you forever. Apparently, Merlin has other ideas, as Arthur has a big day full of important kingly duties and needs to get out of bed right this instant.
How does Merlin do it, I hear you all wondering. How does he manage to resist just taking advantage of a sleep-compliant Arthur every morning by curling up for some cuddle time? Screw Albion, THIS is where all the glory is, right? Right. Well, I’m told magic helps. That cold shower spell Merlin perfected has been worth its weight in gold. And also by implementing a rigorous training regime involving the use of a genius invention Merlin picked up last time he was shopping for underwear from the future for himself and Arthur. The boyfriend pillow.
The boyfriend pillow allows Merlin to satisfy enough snuggle urges during the night so he’s more ready to face the real thing come morning. Plus he can fill it with rocks and practice dragging it out of bed every day so he’s match fit when Arthur tries to have a lie in instead of attending boring speeches and judging garland competitions.
Bemoaning the lack of time to himself (perhaps to snuggle his own boyfriend pillow stashed under the bed where Merlin will never clean look), Arthur tries to curl back up under the blankets, but Merlin is having none of this, and drags him out of bed. Literally - the practice has paid off. It’s beautiful. Especially when Arthur is on the floor with his legs up in the air, with Merlin leaning over him. I also love their back and forth banter and really think it is their perfect little comedy duo routine that REALLY gets Arthur out of bed every morning.
While Arthur is still on the floor, Merlin assures him that he’s doing very well and everyone is saying it. “I’m glad your friends at the tavern approve,” Arthur says, letting the blankets muffle some of his jealousy. Hee. Merlin hauls him up so we can all gaze at the manflesh for a bit, and they reaffirm their vows - by which, I mean Merlin cheerleads Arthur as king and Arthur says Merlin the worst servant ever. I think we’re all pretty fluent in Arthur speak by now to interpret that.
The pleasant start to the morning is interrupted by Agravaine, who wants a word with Arthur. Alone. Oh, you evil man! Merlin hasn’t even bathed Arthur yet! This is most unacceptable.
Elsewhere, without Gwen to brush her hair and giggle about boys now that she’s evil, Morgana has an early start and is out riding a pretty horse towards a castle on an island somewhere.
In Camelot, Arthur is getting changed behind his screen. Thankfully, the camera allows us to watch his upper half during this. It is SHAMELESS and I wholeheartedly approve. Also! Arthur’s bed has been neatly made, so we must assume that Arthur told Agravaine to get the fuck out and come back later when he was bathed and, er, relaxed, and could bear to be apart from Merlin for more than five seconds, thus giving them time to complete their morning ritual.
Agravaine fertilises the seed he planted about Gaius last week and despite trusting Gaius as a loyal servant and friend to both himself and his father, Arthur is persuaded to let Agravaine question the old man, given that he knew where to find the sorcerer who killed Uther. To Arthur’s credit, he is very reluctant.
Morgana walks through a Moroccan themed marketplace with evil on her mind. There is a tiger skin outside the door she enters so clearly everyone here DESERVES TO DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH. She tells the half-naked guard she wishes to see “the Catha” which Wikipedia says is either a plant with natural amphetamine uses, or a sun goddess. It turns out to be neither of these things - it’s Billy Elliot’s dad. Let’s all tell him how we feel about people who decorate their front porch with the trophies of endangered animals:
Morgana tells us that Billy Elliot’s dad is actually “Alator of the Catha. Warrior and Priest.” Alator, in turn, gives Morgana a title: Morgana Pendragon: “High Priestess of the Triple Goddess” and the last of her kind. Mists of Avalon maybe? Or are we seeing the second stage of the three stages of Morgana (from maiden to mother, with crone - and possible death/redemption - next series)? We shall see. For the time being, Alator agrees to abduct the man who will lead Morgana to Emrys, and all for the low, low price of one magical dream-blocking healing bracelet.
Arthur is not happy about questioning Gaius, but stands back and lets it happen anyway. Agravaine is sneaky and kind of awesome and if we only knew of his motivations, he would be a perfect villain. Gaius is forced to lie about Dragoon to Agravaine, and he’s a bit shit at that, so Arthur notices. When Gaius is dismissed, Arthur admits that Gaius is hiding something, but he’s not as quick to judge as Agravaine. He’s very quiet and hurt, rather than ragey. This does not bode well for the future, when Merlin’s lies are finally revealed.
The abductors approach under the cover of darkness. Too bad Gaius has Merlin to protect him, you numpties. Oh, wait, plus one for efficiency, as Agravaine has summoned Merlin to his chambers and given him a task. Merlin will be too busy polishing Arthur’s pretty new dagger and lurking in his room late at night to deliver it. Two of Merlin’s favourite things. Plus the blade has been crafted by the swordsmiths of Gedref, which brings back memories of unicorns and seaside picnics. This guy thinks of EVERYTHING. Merlin says paying a late night visit to Arthur’s room will be his pleasure. You and I both, Merlin, but are you sure it’s a good idea to give Arthur a weaponry gift from someone who has been trying to kill him all series?
Alator, and his mate with a shirt allergy, free the prettiest, curly-haired horsey in the kingdom, and are let into the castle by Agravaine. They take Gaius easily while Agravaine plants a book as evidence. The book is entitled Witchcraft, Sorcery & Magic, so he seems to be banking on a greater chance of Arthur reading at least ONE of those words on the cover. The final step is to take some of Gaius’ clothes. Horrible person, yes, but it’s nice to see some effective villainy around the place.
Meanwhile, Merlin gets a good look at Arthur sleeping in the moonlight and places the dagger by the bed. How does the moonlight get through when Merlin has to open those heavy curtains every morning to let the sun shine in? Let us not question things when Arthur is showing skin, for it is all about the art. Merlin’s just about to retire for the evening and snuggle with his Arthur pillow, when the alarm bells sound. Arthur sits up, suitably alarmed. He turns and looks at Merlin standing beside the bed. Merlin smiles winningly. Hee.
People are smashing up Gaius’ belongings again. I hope you all come down with some horrible wart-based affliction and won’t be able to get any treatment because you DESTROYED it. I also hope they don’t find Merlin’s boyfriend pillow dressed in the tunic Arthur wore yesterday. Thankfully, Sir Leon isn’t involved in any destruction this time. He enters after conducting a midnight horse inventory and reports that a white stallion is missing from the royal stables. Arthur valiantly tries to ignore the evidence, while Merlin hates everyone, but COME ON PEOPLE. That’s the horse that was neighing and rearing up in the courtyard with Morgana way back when. Do you really think an OLD MAN would ride off on such a spirited stallion? He’d lose his seat before he got out of the gates.
At the head of his rectangular table, Arthur examines the planted magic book. Agravaine gleefully camps it up while Merlin leans against a pillar and radiates anger. “It’s not really the discovery that he’s a sorcerer, is it?” Agravaine says, almost bouncing up and down, “It’s the lies. The lies and years of betrayal.” Oh, Merlin, let me hug you if Arthur will not. And Arthur, too. I love that he doesn’t WANT to believe it, and then when Agravaine’s ‘evidence’ adds up, he’s just disappointed and hurt and OH GOD WHAT IS HE GOING TO BE LIKE AFTER THE REVEAL? I predict it’s going to take most of the final series for Arthur to come to terms with what Merlin has done. It will be painful and heartbreaking, but the payoff? Oh, the eventual reunion will be the most amazing thing we have ever experienced. It will be unicorns and foot faces and mud hugs and alternative life sacrifices and baby dragons multiplied by FIVE BILLION. It will be Albion. And Arthur and Merlin. And it will be glorious. And if it doesn’t happen, I will TEAR THIS WORLD APART WITH MY RAGE. *shakes tiny, ineffectual fist*
Agravaine wants to send out a search party for Gaius but Arthur stops him. “Let him run.” Oh, Arthur. After a final gloating glance at Merlin, Agravaine takes his leave. I am kind of scared of Merlin right now, with his silent, seething rage teamed with disappointment in Arthur. He asks how Arthur can believe this and Arthur, bless him, sympathises and understands how Merlin feels. Merlin can’t even look at him. Arthur asks for an alternative explanation and Merlin finally turns to face him, eyes shining. “They’re lies.” OH MY GOD, BOYS, CAN WE GO BACK TO BEING SILLY AND IN LOVE NOW, PLEASE?
Arthur lists the facts, but Merlin doesn’t agree. “He would not leave without saying goodbye to me!” OMG, the way his voice breaks at the end, and he turns his face away again and THIS IS KILLING ME. And it’s killing Arthur, too, because the look on his face is that of a man that is 1.5 seconds away from pushing his chair back, standing, and taking Merlin in his arms and telling him they’ll find a way to fix it. I SWEAR THIS IS TRUE. Merlin, still looking away so he doesn’t notice this, just blurts it all out then, in a last ditch attempt. “Agravaine has made this story up.” Arthur says he’s going to ignore that, so Merlin pushes on. “Because he’s your uncle, you will not see who he really is.”
Seriously, Merlin, I know this is because you’re upset and desperate, but you and Gaius could really take a leaf out of Agravaine’s book and realised it’s much better to start feeding Arthur information and let him come to his own conclusions. Keeping him in the dark DOES NOT WORK. Neither does just piling it all on him at once at the worst time possible. And he’s smarter than he was two years ago, so it wouldn’t take much. He has come close on his own already.
I really feel for both of them. So much. But Arthur. It’s like Merlin and Gaius have put blinkers on him in order to win the race to Albion as quickly as possible, but haven’t realised that it’s not a sprint, and Arthur might need to know what’s going on around him to find the finish line. Take them off and give him his head - I promise you this pony knows how to run.
Arthur puts a stop to Merlin. “I’ve had my heart broken enough already today. I don’t want to lose another friend.” PLEASE, NO MORE HEART-BREAKING FROM EITHER OF YOU TODAY BECAUSE MINE CAN’T TAKE IT EITHER. Arthur just admitted that losing Merlin would break his heart. This should be a much more joyous occasion. Also, I love that nobody has even suggested they investigate Merlin as well, even given how close he is to Gaius.
And after that, I can’t really bring myself to care all that much about Morgana. She greets Gaius after he’s laid out on a stone table for her, and Gaius just wants her to do what she has to do and let him die. Dying’s the easy part, Morgana tells him; just wait til the Catha stats torturing him with his special Catha torture skills. Gaius looks a bit more scared now. Agravaine pops up looking pleased as punch, then they both leave Alator to do his thing.
Back in Camelot, Gaius’ room looks a bit tidier and Merlin is sitting on the floor, going through some papers. The door opens and, oh, Merlin’s eager little face kills me. When he sees it’s Gwen, boobs arriving 20 seconds ahead of the rest of her, he can’t hide his disappointment, but she doesn’t seem too offended. Lovely and comforting, she joins Merlin on the floor and says that Arthur told her what Merlin said to him, and that she will do what she can but Arthur trusts his uncle more than anyone. Merlin sniffs. So do I.
The torture begins.
Alator: *fire spell* *secret reveal spell*
Gauis: *exhausting extinguisher spell*
Alator: *RING OF FUCKING FIRE, BITCHES*
Gaius: FML
Time for Merlin to be a bit more proactive and start sneaking around people’s bedrooms again, starting with Agravaine’s. There is no lock a bit of glowy eyes can’t unpick, and Merlin discovers a secret stash of sorcery-themed books under Agravaine’s bed. Hee. That’s exactly how I hide my Georgette Heyer novels. He then notices mud on Agravaine’s boots which is reddish in colour and, when he takes a finger swipe sample, smells distinctive. Before Merlin has time to think about this more, the door opens and Agravaine enters, just after Merlin manages to hide behind a screen. Phew. Thank goodness for medieval modesty. Agravaine starts stripping off and moves to go behind the screen to take off his tunic. Why? There’s nobody else in the room…well, that you know of---OMG MERLIN, GET OUT OF THERE!
Phew again! Merlin has somehow managed to pop ‘round the other side and scurries out of the room. Unfortunately, Agravaine sees him in the mirror and immediately checks under his bed. Don’t worry, Agravaine, your secret love for regency romances is safe. And, yes, that is a Merlin-shaped finger swipe on your boot.
Merlin comes home to find someone waiting for him. HI, GWAINE, HI! Merlin doesn’t seem as happy to see him as I do, not even affected by Gwaine’s hopeful little face. Seriously, you two, WHAT HAPPENED? Anyway, Gwaine says that he got bored of playing soldiers (love!) and thought he’d come to see how Merlin was. Merlin has no time for sweet attempts to rekindle friendships, however, and gets straight to work investigating the mud sample. He tells Gwaine that Gaius has been abducted and may even be dead.
“You probably don’t need my help, then,” Gwaine says, in that Gwaine-of-old way in which he thinks he’s not worthy of nice things like Merlin. GWAINE, I LOVE YOU, YOU BIG SWISHY-HAIRED DOLT. NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN. That’s enough to pull Merlin up, too, and he extends the mud-covered finger of friendship, asking if Gwaine knows what it is. It’s iron ore, and Gwaine has only ever seen it once in Camelot - on patrol at the Ridge of Chemary, where they’ve been mining for hundreds of years. Must have made a LOT of tunnels in that time, I suppose.
TEAM MERLIN/GWAINE TO THE RESCUE. Agravaine is nowhere near as excited at the sight.
Despite the flamey torture, Gaius still hasn’t given up the identity of Emrys. Meanwhile, Agravaine collects Morgana and rides in hot pursuit of Merlin and Gwaine, who have just arrived at the mine.
Uh-oh, poor Gaius has lost the last of his resolve and tells Alator he will find Emrys in Camelot. Then he spills forth with way too much information. “Emrys is the name by which he is known to the druids. But to me…I know him by a different name.” He stops short on uttering Merlin’s name when prompted, bless him, but a bit more magic does him in. “He is the most powerful sorcerer who has ever lived. His name is…Merlin.” I totally expected the clangy sword sound effect after that. Instead, Alator is all soothing and a little bit nice, as far as torturers go.
As Merlin and Gwaine trek through the iron ore-covered tunnels, Gaius continues with his bedtime story. “For the Druids’ legends are true, Merlin is…Emrys. A man destined for greatness. A man who will one day unite the powers of the Old World and the New, and bring the time that the poets speak of…the time of Albion.” Bloody hell, who wouldn’t stand up and cheer at that? This guy, apparently:
Merlin and Gwaine must be getting close, because they have encountered the shirtless dude. Gwaine valiantly fights him for a bit until it’s up to Merlin to help him out with some magic. And how Gwaine didn’t notice that the guy was inexplicably lifted into the air and thrown on top of him, we shall never know. At least having men on top of you is a much better trademark move than being knocked out cold. Gwaine could do much worse. Merlin rolls the guy off Gwaine, helps him up, and the search is back on. They decide to split up. Merlin tells Gwaine not to wait for him if he finds Gaius. Gwaine’s facial expression at that is pretty much, fuck that, I am never leaving you again. But we shall see.
Agravaine and Morgana arrive to see the boys’ horses tied up outside. “The black horse belongs to Gwaine,” Agravaine explains. “He’s a hot head. We’ve got to be careful of him.” FUCK YEAH, YOU DO. Morgana sends Agravaine to Gaius, while she deals with “Merlin and this hot head.” Ha!
Much to Agravaine’s disappointment, Gaius is still alive when he finds him alone. Easily fixed via dagger. BUT WAIT! GWAINE TO THE RESCUE! Gwaine is quick to accuse Agravaine, sword pointed. Unfortunately, Agravaine is weasely and smart and pretends he was just using the blade of the dagger to check if Gaius was breathing. Smooth. He says he followed Merlin and Gwaine, knowing some new information must have been at hand. “You agree he was abducted, then?” Gwaine demands. Oh, Gwaine, you’re actually pretty smart to get that out of him. I mean, you’re believing lies, but you’re being a bit smart about it. Wait, except for that bit where Agravaine talks you into taking Gaius back to Camelot without Merlin. I know Merlin said you should, and it took some convincing, but still.
Merlin runs into a spot of trouble named Morgana, as she knocks the ‘thorn in her side’ off his feet. She sends a knife toward his throat in slow motion. “It’s difficult, isn’t it, when there are so many different and painful ways for me to finally be rid of you.” All Merlin cares about is Gaius, but Morgana isn’t really up for that topic of conversation, preferring to focus on how painfully she will kill Merlin.
Alator arrives and Morgana makes introductions like a lady in polite society should. “Alator, this is Merlin. He’s just a serving boy, but he’s the most troublesome serving boy I’ve ever known.” Heh. No wonder he’s gonna be your downfall. Alator confirms that Gaius told him everything and he knows who Emrys is. He leans down in front of Merlin and says that not only does he know WHO Emrys is, but also exactly WHERE he is. Gulp. Morgana is v. excited and demands to be told. “Never,” Alator says, and knocks her out cold with a quick spell via his staff. Merlin’s a little bit shocked and wary as he gets to his feet.
“Merlin, I am Alator of the Catha. I am honoured to be of service. I understand the burden you carry. I have lived with it all my life. I have been shunned, persecuted, and sometimes even hunted in every corner of the Five Kingdoms. I understand what that feels like. You are not alone. From what Gaius told me, I do not have your great powers, Merlin, but I share your hopes. For I, and others like me, have dreamt of the world you seek to build. And we would gladly give our lives to help you do it.”
With that, Alator kneels before Merlin and bows his head. Fuck me, says Merlin’s face, and I agree. THAT WAS AMAZING. Like if you added up all the round table speeches by Arthur’s knights last year and multiplied it by every inspirational chat someone has given Arthur after becoming King then MAYBE you would come close to this level of awesome.
Congratulations, Merlin, you now have your very own kingdom of subjects to angst over and feel the burden of responsibility for. Arthur is going to be so pissed when he finds out he’s not the only one. And I kind of want to see him exile Merlin for a bit after the reveal, so Merlin can go play in his magical kingdom, which I imagine as a cross between Hogwarts and Disneyland, until Arthur is driven to breaking point by jealousy and loneliness and rides out to retrieve him. *nods*
Gwaine seems quite pleased to run up the stairs and inform Arthur that Gaius was actually kidnapped. I think the “and you should have believed Merlin, you big idiot, and it’s lucky I will always be there for him” is implied in his demeanour. Later, Gwen tends to Gaius while Arthur and Agravaine watch in the background. Agravaine admits he was wrong and Merlin was right. “If it hadn’t been for the tenacity of your boy, Gaius would be dead.” IS ANYONE AT ALL CONCERNED ABOUT THE WHEREABOUTS OF ARTHUR’S BOY? Agravaine says they both owe Gaius and Merlin an apology. Yeah, talk him up when you think he’s dead.
Morgana wakes to find herself alone with nothing but iron ore for company. Oh, and her magic bracelet, which Alator must have felt he couldn’t take as payment. I would have loved if he and Merlin had attached a note. Sweet Dreams, Morgana. Love Emrys and friends. xxx
As if by magic, Merlin has returned to Camelot and is sitting at Gaius’ bedside. I’m just going to pretend that Gwaine headed straight back out for him and they met on the path, shared a bit of a hug, and went home.
Gaius is awake and feeling ashamed because he gave away Merlin’s secret. Merlin assures him it’s all okay, because Morgana didn’t find out and didn’t count on Alator’s true loyalties, but Gaius is worried that he will let Merlin down one day. “My worry is Arthur,” Merlin says. He thinks Arthur needs to know about Agravaine. DON’T WE ALL, MERLIN? Gaius says they can’t say anything without evidence, given how dear he is to Arthur. Guys, you may not have concrete evidence, but surely some things are adding up. Now is the time to start dropping little bits on information breadcrumbs in front of Arthur until he’s on the right trail.
Speak of the handsome devil, Arthur knocks and enters. He says he owes both of them an apology, but Merlin is still a bit pissy and says not to him, but to Gaius. Arthur agrees and asks for a moment with Gaius. It’s still a bit awkward and tense, but then Merlin’s mouth turns up in a cheeky manner. “Does that mean I get the morning off?” Awww, boys.
“Yes,” Arthur says, and the relief is evident. “Yes, you can have the morning off to clean my chambers, polish my armour and launder my clothes.” Including the tunic you have on that strange pillow my guards found under your bed.
Gaius seems happy that they’re back to being adorable again. “You certainly know how to apologise,” Merlin says, in a way which infers that he accepts Arthur’s non-apology and loves him, too. Then they have one of those serious non-verbal exchanges to solidify their feelings, and Merlin exits. I just…love them. Emotionally stunted manchild warts and all.
After asking after Gaius’ wellbeing, Arthur gets down to business and admits he made a mistake. “I’ve looked after you since you were a nursling, Arthur. You should have known I love you far too much ever to betray you.” Burn. Arthur asks Gaius who abducted him, and Gaius says he couldn’t say, but he’s certain they were in league with Morgana, trying to get information to help bring down the kingdom. “Did they get it?” Arthur asks. “Morgana got nothing from me.” Arthur is v. relieved and grateful, and tells Gaius so. With hand grasping and all, so we know he’s serious.
However the matter of the sorcerer who killed Uther still concerns Arthur. “You lied,” Arthur says, and he’s still clearly hurt by that. Oh, Merlin, you aren’t just going to break his heart, you’re going to shatter it into a billion tiny pieces that all of his horses and all of his men will never be able to put back together again. Sometimes I both crave and fear this reveal in equal measure.
Gaius admits to lying. “I chose to protect him. I feared you would seek him out and execute him. That would have been a grave mistake. The sorcerer did not kill your father. Uther was dying. He tried everything in his power to save him.” He lets Arthur think about this for a bit. Arthur’s eyes are impossibly shiny.
“Contained within this great kingdom is a rich variety of people with a range of different beliefs. I am not the only one seeking to protect you. There are many more who believe I the world you are trying to create. One day you will learn, Arthur. One day you will understand…just how much they’ve done for you.”
Nice breadcrumb, Gaius. And by ‘they’ he means Merlin, and Arthur does not dismiss Gaius’ claims. He accepts them, THINKS about them. WONDERS. And I just want to leap through the screen and, like, POUNCE on him because that look? That’s the look of a guy who gives me hope that he and Merlin will be okay. That’s my Arthur Pendragon.
Next Week: A Lamia’s milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they’re like, LET US KILL EACH OTHER WITH SWORDS, GOOD CHAPS. Percival pushes Merlin and I’m like, I DON’T CARE HOW BIG YOU ARE, I WILL END YOU IF YOU DO THAT AGAIN. Merlin and Gwen seem to be friends again and fandom is like, DIVIDED. Merlin and Leon get more scenes together and I’m like, YEEEEESSSSSSS. The trailer ends and everyone is like, ARTHUR WHO?
See you then! Tonight, my boyfriend pillow shall be called Gwaine. *dreamy sigh*
In a land of myth and a time of obvious fog machines, a raven has arrived. I wander what message it brings? … Wait, wrong show. In this one, the bird is just a foreboding bird. Quoth the raven: “CAWK CAWK!” Inside, Agravaine sits in Morgana’s hovel, on her bed, stroking her unconscious cheek. When he gets up to mope and stoke the fire, Morgana’s eyes start fluttering and rolling. We see the whites of her eyes and it’s creepy.
Vision time! Not of the future this time, but a brief recap of last week’s events for the benefit of those who missed it. Sheesh, we skip entire YEARS during breaks with this show, but they can’t let you forget a day or so’s worth of action? Morgana wakes. Her boobs are nice. Then, in case you didn’t watch last week and also didn’t get the visuals two seconds ago, Morgana and Agravaine recap it all AGAIN.
They decide that somebody in Camelot is feeding Emrys information and this leads to only one conclusion: Gaius. Uh-oh, Gaius, you’re next on Morgana’s torture list.
Roll opening titles.
Good morning, Arthur’s bare torso! You’re looking inviting on this bright and sunny morning and I should like to get under those covers and snuggle up to you forever. Apparently, Merlin has other ideas, as Arthur has a big day full of important kingly duties and needs to get out of bed right this instant.
How does Merlin do it, I hear you all wondering. How does he manage to resist just taking advantage of a sleep-compliant Arthur every morning by curling up for some cuddle time? Screw Albion, THIS is where all the glory is, right? Right. Well, I’m told magic helps. That cold shower spell Merlin perfected has been worth its weight in gold. And also by implementing a rigorous training regime involving the use of a genius invention Merlin picked up last time he was shopping for underwear from the future for himself and Arthur. The boyfriend pillow.
Click to viewThe boyfriend pillow allows Merlin to satisfy enough snuggle urges during the night so he’s more ready to face the real thing come morning. Plus he can fill it with rocks and practice dragging it out of bed every day so he’s match fit when Arthur tries to have a lie in instead of attending boring speeches and judging garland competitions.
Bemoaning the lack of time to himself (perhaps to snuggle his own boyfriend pillow stashed under the bed where Merlin will never clean look), Arthur tries to curl back up under the blankets, but Merlin is having none of this, and drags him out of bed. Literally - the practice has paid off. It’s beautiful. Especially when Arthur is on the floor with his legs up in the air, with Merlin leaning over him. I also love their back and forth banter and really think it is their perfect little comedy duo routine that REALLY gets Arthur out of bed every morning.
While Arthur is still on the floor, Merlin assures him that he’s doing very well and everyone is saying it. “I’m glad your friends at the tavern approve,” Arthur says, letting the blankets muffle some of his jealousy. Hee. Merlin hauls him up so we can all gaze at the manflesh for a bit, and they reaffirm their vows - by which, I mean Merlin cheerleads Arthur as king and Arthur says Merlin the worst servant ever. I think we’re all pretty fluent in Arthur speak by now to interpret that.
The pleasant start to the morning is interrupted by Agravaine, who wants a word with Arthur. Alone. Oh, you evil man! Merlin hasn’t even bathed Arthur yet! This is most unacceptable.
Elsewhere, without Gwen to brush her hair and giggle about boys now that she’s evil, Morgana has an early start and is out riding a pretty horse towards a castle on an island somewhere.
In Camelot, Arthur is getting changed behind his screen. Thankfully, the camera allows us to watch his upper half during this. It is SHAMELESS and I wholeheartedly approve. Also! Arthur’s bed has been neatly made, so we must assume that Arthur told Agravaine to get the fuck out and come back later when he was bathed and, er, relaxed, and could bear to be apart from Merlin for more than five seconds, thus giving them time to complete their morning ritual.
Agravaine fertilises the seed he planted about Gaius last week and despite trusting Gaius as a loyal servant and friend to both himself and his father, Arthur is persuaded to let Agravaine question the old man, given that he knew where to find the sorcerer who killed Uther. To Arthur’s credit, he is very reluctant.
Morgana walks through a Moroccan themed marketplace with evil on her mind. There is a tiger skin outside the door she enters so clearly everyone here DESERVES TO DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH. She tells the half-naked guard she wishes to see “the Catha” which Wikipedia says is either a plant with natural amphetamine uses, or a sun goddess. It turns out to be neither of these things - it’s Billy Elliot’s dad. Let’s all tell him how we feel about people who decorate their front porch with the trophies of endangered animals:
Morgana tells us that Billy Elliot’s dad is actually “Alator of the Catha. Warrior and Priest.” Alator, in turn, gives Morgana a title: Morgana Pendragon: “High Priestess of the Triple Goddess” and the last of her kind. Mists of Avalon maybe? Or are we seeing the second stage of the three stages of Morgana (from maiden to mother, with crone - and possible death/redemption - next series)? We shall see. For the time being, Alator agrees to abduct the man who will lead Morgana to Emrys, and all for the low, low price of one magical dream-blocking healing bracelet.
Arthur is not happy about questioning Gaius, but stands back and lets it happen anyway. Agravaine is sneaky and kind of awesome and if we only knew of his motivations, he would be a perfect villain. Gaius is forced to lie about Dragoon to Agravaine, and he’s a bit shit at that, so Arthur notices. When Gaius is dismissed, Arthur admits that Gaius is hiding something, but he’s not as quick to judge as Agravaine. He’s very quiet and hurt, rather than ragey. This does not bode well for the future, when Merlin’s lies are finally revealed.
The abductors approach under the cover of darkness. Too bad Gaius has Merlin to protect him, you numpties. Oh, wait, plus one for efficiency, as Agravaine has summoned Merlin to his chambers and given him a task. Merlin will be too busy polishing Arthur’s pretty new dagger and lurking in his room late at night to deliver it. Two of Merlin’s favourite things. Plus the blade has been crafted by the swordsmiths of Gedref, which brings back memories of unicorns and seaside picnics. This guy thinks of EVERYTHING. Merlin says paying a late night visit to Arthur’s room will be his pleasure. You and I both, Merlin, but are you sure it’s a good idea to give Arthur a weaponry gift from someone who has been trying to kill him all series?
Alator, and his mate with a shirt allergy, free the prettiest, curly-haired horsey in the kingdom, and are let into the castle by Agravaine. They take Gaius easily while Agravaine plants a book as evidence. The book is entitled Witchcraft, Sorcery & Magic, so he seems to be banking on a greater chance of Arthur reading at least ONE of those words on the cover. The final step is to take some of Gaius’ clothes. Horrible person, yes, but it’s nice to see some effective villainy around the place.
Meanwhile, Merlin gets a good look at Arthur sleeping in the moonlight and places the dagger by the bed. How does the moonlight get through when Merlin has to open those heavy curtains every morning to let the sun shine in? Let us not question things when Arthur is showing skin, for it is all about the art. Merlin’s just about to retire for the evening and snuggle with his Arthur pillow, when the alarm bells sound. Arthur sits up, suitably alarmed. He turns and looks at Merlin standing beside the bed. Merlin smiles winningly. Hee.
People are smashing up Gaius’ belongings again. I hope you all come down with some horrible wart-based affliction and won’t be able to get any treatment because you DESTROYED it. I also hope they don’t find Merlin’s boyfriend pillow dressed in the tunic Arthur wore yesterday. Thankfully, Sir Leon isn’t involved in any destruction this time. He enters after conducting a midnight horse inventory and reports that a white stallion is missing from the royal stables. Arthur valiantly tries to ignore the evidence, while Merlin hates everyone, but COME ON PEOPLE. That’s the horse that was neighing and rearing up in the courtyard with Morgana way back when. Do you really think an OLD MAN would ride off on such a spirited stallion? He’d lose his seat before he got out of the gates.
At the head of his rectangular table, Arthur examines the planted magic book. Agravaine gleefully camps it up while Merlin leans against a pillar and radiates anger. “It’s not really the discovery that he’s a sorcerer, is it?” Agravaine says, almost bouncing up and down, “It’s the lies. The lies and years of betrayal.” Oh, Merlin, let me hug you if Arthur will not. And Arthur, too. I love that he doesn’t WANT to believe it, and then when Agravaine’s ‘evidence’ adds up, he’s just disappointed and hurt and OH GOD WHAT IS HE GOING TO BE LIKE AFTER THE REVEAL? I predict it’s going to take most of the final series for Arthur to come to terms with what Merlin has done. It will be painful and heartbreaking, but the payoff? Oh, the eventual reunion will be the most amazing thing we have ever experienced. It will be unicorns and foot faces and mud hugs and alternative life sacrifices and baby dragons multiplied by FIVE BILLION. It will be Albion. And Arthur and Merlin. And it will be glorious. And if it doesn’t happen, I will TEAR THIS WORLD APART WITH MY RAGE. *shakes tiny, ineffectual fist*
Agravaine wants to send out a search party for Gaius but Arthur stops him. “Let him run.” Oh, Arthur. After a final gloating glance at Merlin, Agravaine takes his leave. I am kind of scared of Merlin right now, with his silent, seething rage teamed with disappointment in Arthur. He asks how Arthur can believe this and Arthur, bless him, sympathises and understands how Merlin feels. Merlin can’t even look at him. Arthur asks for an alternative explanation and Merlin finally turns to face him, eyes shining. “They’re lies.” OH MY GOD, BOYS, CAN WE GO BACK TO BEING SILLY AND IN LOVE NOW, PLEASE?
Arthur lists the facts, but Merlin doesn’t agree. “He would not leave without saying goodbye to me!” OMG, the way his voice breaks at the end, and he turns his face away again and THIS IS KILLING ME. And it’s killing Arthur, too, because the look on his face is that of a man that is 1.5 seconds away from pushing his chair back, standing, and taking Merlin in his arms and telling him they’ll find a way to fix it. I SWEAR THIS IS TRUE. Merlin, still looking away so he doesn’t notice this, just blurts it all out then, in a last ditch attempt. “Agravaine has made this story up.” Arthur says he’s going to ignore that, so Merlin pushes on. “Because he’s your uncle, you will not see who he really is.”
Seriously, Merlin, I know this is because you’re upset and desperate, but you and Gaius could really take a leaf out of Agravaine’s book and realised it’s much better to start feeding Arthur information and let him come to his own conclusions. Keeping him in the dark DOES NOT WORK. Neither does just piling it all on him at once at the worst time possible. And he’s smarter than he was two years ago, so it wouldn’t take much. He has come close on his own already.
I really feel for both of them. So much. But Arthur. It’s like Merlin and Gaius have put blinkers on him in order to win the race to Albion as quickly as possible, but haven’t realised that it’s not a sprint, and Arthur might need to know what’s going on around him to find the finish line. Take them off and give him his head - I promise you this pony knows how to run.
Arthur puts a stop to Merlin. “I’ve had my heart broken enough already today. I don’t want to lose another friend.” PLEASE, NO MORE HEART-BREAKING FROM EITHER OF YOU TODAY BECAUSE MINE CAN’T TAKE IT EITHER. Arthur just admitted that losing Merlin would break his heart. This should be a much more joyous occasion. Also, I love that nobody has even suggested they investigate Merlin as well, even given how close he is to Gaius.
And after that, I can’t really bring myself to care all that much about Morgana. She greets Gaius after he’s laid out on a stone table for her, and Gaius just wants her to do what she has to do and let him die. Dying’s the easy part, Morgana tells him; just wait til the Catha stats torturing him with his special Catha torture skills. Gaius looks a bit more scared now. Agravaine pops up looking pleased as punch, then they both leave Alator to do his thing.
Back in Camelot, Gaius’ room looks a bit tidier and Merlin is sitting on the floor, going through some papers. The door opens and, oh, Merlin’s eager little face kills me. When he sees it’s Gwen, boobs arriving 20 seconds ahead of the rest of her, he can’t hide his disappointment, but she doesn’t seem too offended. Lovely and comforting, she joins Merlin on the floor and says that Arthur told her what Merlin said to him, and that she will do what she can but Arthur trusts his uncle more than anyone. Merlin sniffs. So do I.
The torture begins.
Alator: *fire spell* *secret reveal spell*
Gauis: *exhausting extinguisher spell*
Alator: *RING OF FUCKING FIRE, BITCHES*
Gaius: FML
Time for Merlin to be a bit more proactive and start sneaking around people’s bedrooms again, starting with Agravaine’s. There is no lock a bit of glowy eyes can’t unpick, and Merlin discovers a secret stash of sorcery-themed books under Agravaine’s bed. Hee. That’s exactly how I hide my Georgette Heyer novels. He then notices mud on Agravaine’s boots which is reddish in colour and, when he takes a finger swipe sample, smells distinctive. Before Merlin has time to think about this more, the door opens and Agravaine enters, just after Merlin manages to hide behind a screen. Phew. Thank goodness for medieval modesty. Agravaine starts stripping off and moves to go behind the screen to take off his tunic. Why? There’s nobody else in the room…well, that you know of---OMG MERLIN, GET OUT OF THERE!
Phew again! Merlin has somehow managed to pop ‘round the other side and scurries out of the room. Unfortunately, Agravaine sees him in the mirror and immediately checks under his bed. Don’t worry, Agravaine, your secret love for regency romances is safe. And, yes, that is a Merlin-shaped finger swipe on your boot.
Merlin comes home to find someone waiting for him. HI, GWAINE, HI! Merlin doesn’t seem as happy to see him as I do, not even affected by Gwaine’s hopeful little face. Seriously, you two, WHAT HAPPENED? Anyway, Gwaine says that he got bored of playing soldiers (love!) and thought he’d come to see how Merlin was. Merlin has no time for sweet attempts to rekindle friendships, however, and gets straight to work investigating the mud sample. He tells Gwaine that Gaius has been abducted and may even be dead.
“You probably don’t need my help, then,” Gwaine says, in that Gwaine-of-old way in which he thinks he’s not worthy of nice things like Merlin. GWAINE, I LOVE YOU, YOU BIG SWISHY-HAIRED DOLT. NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN. That’s enough to pull Merlin up, too, and he extends the mud-covered finger of friendship, asking if Gwaine knows what it is. It’s iron ore, and Gwaine has only ever seen it once in Camelot - on patrol at the Ridge of Chemary, where they’ve been mining for hundreds of years. Must have made a LOT of tunnels in that time, I suppose.
TEAM MERLIN/GWAINE TO THE RESCUE. Agravaine is nowhere near as excited at the sight.
Despite the flamey torture, Gaius still hasn’t given up the identity of Emrys. Meanwhile, Agravaine collects Morgana and rides in hot pursuit of Merlin and Gwaine, who have just arrived at the mine.
Uh-oh, poor Gaius has lost the last of his resolve and tells Alator he will find Emrys in Camelot. Then he spills forth with way too much information. “Emrys is the name by which he is known to the druids. But to me…I know him by a different name.” He stops short on uttering Merlin’s name when prompted, bless him, but a bit more magic does him in. “He is the most powerful sorcerer who has ever lived. His name is…Merlin.” I totally expected the clangy sword sound effect after that. Instead, Alator is all soothing and a little bit nice, as far as torturers go.
As Merlin and Gwaine trek through the iron ore-covered tunnels, Gaius continues with his bedtime story. “For the Druids’ legends are true, Merlin is…Emrys. A man destined for greatness. A man who will one day unite the powers of the Old World and the New, and bring the time that the poets speak of…the time of Albion.” Bloody hell, who wouldn’t stand up and cheer at that? This guy, apparently:
Merlin and Gwaine must be getting close, because they have encountered the shirtless dude. Gwaine valiantly fights him for a bit until it’s up to Merlin to help him out with some magic. And how Gwaine didn’t notice that the guy was inexplicably lifted into the air and thrown on top of him, we shall never know. At least having men on top of you is a much better trademark move than being knocked out cold. Gwaine could do much worse. Merlin rolls the guy off Gwaine, helps him up, and the search is back on. They decide to split up. Merlin tells Gwaine not to wait for him if he finds Gaius. Gwaine’s facial expression at that is pretty much, fuck that, I am never leaving you again. But we shall see.
Agravaine and Morgana arrive to see the boys’ horses tied up outside. “The black horse belongs to Gwaine,” Agravaine explains. “He’s a hot head. We’ve got to be careful of him.” FUCK YEAH, YOU DO. Morgana sends Agravaine to Gaius, while she deals with “Merlin and this hot head.” Ha!
Much to Agravaine’s disappointment, Gaius is still alive when he finds him alone. Easily fixed via dagger. BUT WAIT! GWAINE TO THE RESCUE! Gwaine is quick to accuse Agravaine, sword pointed. Unfortunately, Agravaine is weasely and smart and pretends he was just using the blade of the dagger to check if Gaius was breathing. Smooth. He says he followed Merlin and Gwaine, knowing some new information must have been at hand. “You agree he was abducted, then?” Gwaine demands. Oh, Gwaine, you’re actually pretty smart to get that out of him. I mean, you’re believing lies, but you’re being a bit smart about it. Wait, except for that bit where Agravaine talks you into taking Gaius back to Camelot without Merlin. I know Merlin said you should, and it took some convincing, but still.
Merlin runs into a spot of trouble named Morgana, as she knocks the ‘thorn in her side’ off his feet. She sends a knife toward his throat in slow motion. “It’s difficult, isn’t it, when there are so many different and painful ways for me to finally be rid of you.” All Merlin cares about is Gaius, but Morgana isn’t really up for that topic of conversation, preferring to focus on how painfully she will kill Merlin.
Alator arrives and Morgana makes introductions like a lady in polite society should. “Alator, this is Merlin. He’s just a serving boy, but he’s the most troublesome serving boy I’ve ever known.” Heh. No wonder he’s gonna be your downfall. Alator confirms that Gaius told him everything and he knows who Emrys is. He leans down in front of Merlin and says that not only does he know WHO Emrys is, but also exactly WHERE he is. Gulp. Morgana is v. excited and demands to be told. “Never,” Alator says, and knocks her out cold with a quick spell via his staff. Merlin’s a little bit shocked and wary as he gets to his feet.
“Merlin, I am Alator of the Catha. I am honoured to be of service. I understand the burden you carry. I have lived with it all my life. I have been shunned, persecuted, and sometimes even hunted in every corner of the Five Kingdoms. I understand what that feels like. You are not alone. From what Gaius told me, I do not have your great powers, Merlin, but I share your hopes. For I, and others like me, have dreamt of the world you seek to build. And we would gladly give our lives to help you do it.”
With that, Alator kneels before Merlin and bows his head. Fuck me, says Merlin’s face, and I agree. THAT WAS AMAZING. Like if you added up all the round table speeches by Arthur’s knights last year and multiplied it by every inspirational chat someone has given Arthur after becoming King then MAYBE you would come close to this level of awesome.
Congratulations, Merlin, you now have your very own kingdom of subjects to angst over and feel the burden of responsibility for. Arthur is going to be so pissed when he finds out he’s not the only one. And I kind of want to see him exile Merlin for a bit after the reveal, so Merlin can go play in his magical kingdom, which I imagine as a cross between Hogwarts and Disneyland, until Arthur is driven to breaking point by jealousy and loneliness and rides out to retrieve him. *nods*
Gwaine seems quite pleased to run up the stairs and inform Arthur that Gaius was actually kidnapped. I think the “and you should have believed Merlin, you big idiot, and it’s lucky I will always be there for him” is implied in his demeanour. Later, Gwen tends to Gaius while Arthur and Agravaine watch in the background. Agravaine admits he was wrong and Merlin was right. “If it hadn’t been for the tenacity of your boy, Gaius would be dead.” IS ANYONE AT ALL CONCERNED ABOUT THE WHEREABOUTS OF ARTHUR’S BOY? Agravaine says they both owe Gaius and Merlin an apology. Yeah, talk him up when you think he’s dead.
Morgana wakes to find herself alone with nothing but iron ore for company. Oh, and her magic bracelet, which Alator must have felt he couldn’t take as payment. I would have loved if he and Merlin had attached a note. Sweet Dreams, Morgana. Love Emrys and friends. xxx
As if by magic, Merlin has returned to Camelot and is sitting at Gaius’ bedside. I’m just going to pretend that Gwaine headed straight back out for him and they met on the path, shared a bit of a hug, and went home.
Gaius is awake and feeling ashamed because he gave away Merlin’s secret. Merlin assures him it’s all okay, because Morgana didn’t find out and didn’t count on Alator’s true loyalties, but Gaius is worried that he will let Merlin down one day. “My worry is Arthur,” Merlin says. He thinks Arthur needs to know about Agravaine. DON’T WE ALL, MERLIN? Gaius says they can’t say anything without evidence, given how dear he is to Arthur. Guys, you may not have concrete evidence, but surely some things are adding up. Now is the time to start dropping little bits on information breadcrumbs in front of Arthur until he’s on the right trail.
Speak of the handsome devil, Arthur knocks and enters. He says he owes both of them an apology, but Merlin is still a bit pissy and says not to him, but to Gaius. Arthur agrees and asks for a moment with Gaius. It’s still a bit awkward and tense, but then Merlin’s mouth turns up in a cheeky manner. “Does that mean I get the morning off?” Awww, boys.
“Yes,” Arthur says, and the relief is evident. “Yes, you can have the morning off to clean my chambers, polish my armour and launder my clothes.” Including the tunic you have on that strange pillow my guards found under your bed.
Gaius seems happy that they’re back to being adorable again. “You certainly know how to apologise,” Merlin says, in a way which infers that he accepts Arthur’s non-apology and loves him, too. Then they have one of those serious non-verbal exchanges to solidify their feelings, and Merlin exits. I just…love them. Emotionally stunted manchild warts and all.
After asking after Gaius’ wellbeing, Arthur gets down to business and admits he made a mistake. “I’ve looked after you since you were a nursling, Arthur. You should have known I love you far too much ever to betray you.” Burn. Arthur asks Gaius who abducted him, and Gaius says he couldn’t say, but he’s certain they were in league with Morgana, trying to get information to help bring down the kingdom. “Did they get it?” Arthur asks. “Morgana got nothing from me.” Arthur is v. relieved and grateful, and tells Gaius so. With hand grasping and all, so we know he’s serious.
However the matter of the sorcerer who killed Uther still concerns Arthur. “You lied,” Arthur says, and he’s still clearly hurt by that. Oh, Merlin, you aren’t just going to break his heart, you’re going to shatter it into a billion tiny pieces that all of his horses and all of his men will never be able to put back together again. Sometimes I both crave and fear this reveal in equal measure.
Gaius admits to lying. “I chose to protect him. I feared you would seek him out and execute him. That would have been a grave mistake. The sorcerer did not kill your father. Uther was dying. He tried everything in his power to save him.” He lets Arthur think about this for a bit. Arthur’s eyes are impossibly shiny.
“Contained within this great kingdom is a rich variety of people with a range of different beliefs. I am not the only one seeking to protect you. There are many more who believe I the world you are trying to create. One day you will learn, Arthur. One day you will understand…just how much they’ve done for you.”
Nice breadcrumb, Gaius. And by ‘they’ he means Merlin, and Arthur does not dismiss Gaius’ claims. He accepts them, THINKS about them. WONDERS. And I just want to leap through the screen and, like, POUNCE on him because that look? That’s the look of a guy who gives me hope that he and Merlin will be okay. That’s my Arthur Pendragon.
Next Week: A Lamia’s milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they’re like, LET US KILL EACH OTHER WITH SWORDS, GOOD CHAPS. Percival pushes Merlin and I’m like, I DON’T CARE HOW BIG YOU ARE, I WILL END YOU IF YOU DO THAT AGAIN. Merlin and Gwen seem to be friends again and fandom is like, DIVIDED. Merlin and Leon get more scenes together and I’m like, YEEEEESSSSSSS. The trailer ends and everyone is like, ARTHUR WHO?
See you then! Tonight, my boyfriend pillow shall be called Gwaine. *dreamy sigh*