merlin - the dark tower
Still working on last week's, but I WILL get it finished. Let's just skip ahead in the meantime, shall we?
In a land of myth and a time of characters occasionally remembering they’re related to each other, Gwen and Elyan have paid a visit to their father’s grave. It sits on a pretty hill above a little village, and as far as graves for someone killed by the king for using magic go, it’s a pretty nice one. And it’s nice that Gwen gets to leave the castle for once, even if it’s just to mourn her dead dad. Gwen still misses her father after all these years (after all the time skips, I’m not even going to guess how many years she’s talking about here) and Elyan says he was a good father. Yeah, good enough for you to walk out on and never see again, right, Eylan?
Back on the road and returning to Camelot, Gwen and Elyan are joined by Gwaine, Percival and Leon, who thinks that Tom would have been proud. Oh, so they’re actually remembering that Leon grew up with Gwen & Elyan, too? It pretty much means something bad is going to happen, if characters suddenly talk about their backstories out of nowhere. I feel a growing sense of unease. Unaware of this, Gwen thinks her father would have been particularly proud of Elyan, not just for being a knight, but the man he has become. The knights take this as an opportunity to give Elyan shit about his womanising ways for a bit until Percival says that Elyan loves only one woman. Ooh, Gwen thinks, these knights are nothing but a bunch of handsome gossip mongers and I should hang out with them more often. She asks who the lucky lady is. “You!” Elyan is quick to answer. Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew.
Gwen ignores the incestuous overtones and demands a serious answer. “Did Arthur not say?” Gwaine asks, giving Gwen a clear indication of what goes on around the campfires on all those trips her husband takes. “Arthur never tells me anything,” Gwen replies, giving us all a clear indication of what’s going on back in Camelot right now, with Arthur and Merlin getting some alone time. Elyan asks Gwen if Arthur told her who Gwaine’s in love with, keeping gender specifics out of the equation so we all yell MERLIN AND/OR PERCIVAL at the screen. Gwen has a different answer: “Himself.” And everyone laughs and it is so very cute, and then we see Morgana watching them from the bushes. Nooooo, go back to the happy fun times! I was enjoying that!
Morgana does some enchanty magic thing to the grass-covered path ahead of them and scurries away just before the gang arrive. There are motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plain! The snakes spook the horses and Leon is the first to fall off his mount, a snake slithering over him and, look, I don’t want to compare myself to a CGI snake here, but…. Yeah. Elyan tells Gwen to get to the trees, because obviously snakes don’t venture into the forest or something, and Gwen leaves them all there to fight off the reptiles. Percival is the next to fall and get assaulted by a snake. Guys! You’re doing it all wrong. THIS is how you handle them:
(Oh Jackson, I am going to miss you.)
Gwen keeps galloping through the trees, assisted by a great medieval sports bra, until she almost runs into Morgana. She gasps and turns her horse to run in the other direction but Morgana dismounts her easily with a quick glowy eyed hand pull manoeuvre. Gwen is out cold and Morgana advises her to sleep. “For it will be some time before you do so again.”
While the opening titles roll, let’s all remember the good old days when we used to imagine the fun things Gwen and Morgana got up to all night when they weren’t sleeping.
Gwaine leads the way into the ER with Leon and Percival’s unconscious yet still handsome bodies. Gaius and Merlin are a well-oiled machine and get to work immediately. I love it when Merlin displays his medical knowledge. Arthur arrives to see what happened and, as Elyan explains the nest of snakes, notices that there is one person (and, okay, Mordred, but we’re ignoring him again this week) missing in the room full of everyone he loves. “Where’s Guinevere?”
Elyan tries to explain that he told Gwen to flee so she did, but he can’t quite find the words to make ‘yeah so then Gwaine and I both came back here instead of one of us staying behind to look for her while the other took the snakebite victims back, strapped to their horses’ sound reasonable. Arthur storms out. Merlin follows immediately. Gaius will have to save the knights on his own for a bit. Oh, not long, because Arthur just tells Merlin that they will ride at dawn and stomps away, so Merlin goes back to Gaius after an accusing look at Elyan.
Because they can’t all fit in Merlin’s bed, and I like to think they’ve already tried when not unconscious, Percival and Leon get their own separate beds. The knights must have private health insurance. Gaius and Merlin discover that the snakebites are not your usual hiking accident. “There is dark magic coursing through their veins. At any rate, they should be dead.” Thanks, Gaius. Let’s also note that Leon is so pretty when he’s sleeping and I think the casual clothes might also have something to do with this. We usually only see him in chain mail & cape, or occasionally in a floaty gown. The grey tunic is a nice change of scenery. Merlin thinks they’re lucky to be alive, but Gaius fears that it’s all part of someone’s nefarious plan.
With Gwen out of the picture for the night, Merlin doesn’t have to knock on Arthur’s door, but Arthur admonishes him for it anyway. Merlin’s apology is more of a reflex than anything else, and Arthur is too sadface to take the bait. Merlin updates Arthur on the status of Leon and Percival, who are going to be totally fine except for the fact that they have been affected by sorcery and Gaius suspects Morgana is involved, and Arthur doesn’t seem surprised. He tells Merlin that he can go in a way that means ‘please stay and hold me throughout the night’ and then starts talking about his feelings to keep Merlin there. Merlin assures Arthur that they’re not going to lose Gwen, and swears that they will find her. He holds his hand out towards Arthur and as the violin music swells, they clasp each other’s arms in that manly, heterosexual warrior way, but their dewy eyes are telling another story entirely. “We’ll bring her home,” Merlin promises, never breaking eye contact, and we quickly cut to the next morning so everything from that point until sunrise is left to our imaginations. And, oh, we can IMAGINE.
While the search party rides out, Morgana gently wakes Gwen up from her nap. Morgana wants to play a little game with Gwen, to find out just how much Arthur loves her. Gwen assures Morgana that it won’t work. “He’s not stupid.” Ahahahaha. Ahahahahahaha. Ha. Ha. Heh. Morgana agrees that he’ll know it’s a trap, but is pretty sure he’ll still come anyway.
On the trail, the gang discover Gwen’s horse and Leon (who seems completely healed, as does Percival) tells us that the broken stirrups indicate Gwen must have been knocked by her mount by some force. I don’t really see much else in this scene other than the fact that Leon’s horse has the same curly fringe as he does. It’s cute. Percival finds tracks heading east, so they ride in pursuit. There also seems to be some more horse swapping going on, because I’m sure there were grey horses in the mix when they left Camelot and they have suddenly disappeared.
Without the luxury of a pretty horsey of any colour, Gwen is dragged behind Morgana’s. She stumbles and Morgana stops to offer her water. Gwen says she doesn’t want anything from Morgana. “Just my crown,” Morgana replies. Heh. Pissed off that Gwen isn’t responding to her sort-of kindness, Morgana tips the water out in front of her and drags her forward once more. They eventually reach a desert surrounding a very tall tower. Great, first we had the North in the first episode this year, and now we have the Red Waste.
In the darkness, the knights have lost the trail and hint that it might be time to make camp. Arthur turns back to retrace the tracks while everyone else stays still. “I’ll talk to him,” Merlin tells the knights, and follows. I love that they just let Merlin go because they know he’s the one to get through to Arthur.
Oh, Arthur. Merlin has to bring out his kind, understanding voice to get through to Arthur. He knows that Gwen is still out there, and can’t be far away, but reminds Arthur that they have to work together. Arthur is silent, so Merlin takes charge and takes Arthur back to make camp. LOVE! I love that Arthur couldn’t bring himself to make the decision to stop searching for the night, and relied on Merlin to make it for him. And I love that Merlin knew that. And the knights knew that. And he’s not just a servant anymore, dammit.
Meanwhile, Morgana urges Gwen up the long and winding staircase of the tower, into a dark room. “Sleep well,” she tells Gwen, and promptly locks her in. Gwen looks around her. And that’s when the screaming starts.
Seated around the fire, Arthur notices that Elyan is standing alone in the trees and goes over to give him a kingly pep talk. Elyan is feeling guilty for saving Leon and Percival and not his own sister. “We can all blame ourselves,” Arthur says. I’m guessing that maybe he didn’t go with Gwen because he felt uncomfortable about the way her father died? And maybe he thinks if he had gotten over that, he could have been there to save her? I don’t know. Elyan says that Gwen raised him, which seems a bit odd given that we hadn’t even heard of him until he just showed up out of the blue. They talk for a bit about Gwen’s influence and all the feels she gives, and I’m not sure if Arthur is agreeing and sympathising because of his feelings for Gwen, or his feelings regarding his own sister, but they bond and Arthur leads Elyan back to the fire with a comforting arm around his shoulders.
The full moon watches over our boys as they all lay around the embers. It’s all so peaceful, and I’m leaning in to see who’s sleeping next to who and then SWEET BABY JESUS IN THE MANGER CAN SOMEONE PLEASE COME AND PEEL ME OFF THE CEILING REAL QUICK? Leon like, SHRIEKS, and sits bolt upright. I just lost several years’ worth of heartbeats. As everyone else remembers how to breathe again, Merlin is the first to rush over and comfort Leon after his bad dream. Bless. Leon describes his dream of the tower full of death and children screaming. “And the rain that fell was like blood,” Percival adds, and Leon turns to him. They had the same dream, thanks to the snake venom, I imagine. They both recount the dream and sound like they have joined Merlin and Arthur’s late night poetry sessions because the words are full of horrific (and lame) imagery. I gather the snakes had some kind of purple prose venom? Leon ends with the description of the tower: “A tower so dark it could swallow the sun.”
“The Dark Tower,” Arthur concludes. See? Gwen told you he was smart! Arthur tells us that the Dark Tower is a place all young knights are taught to fear, where many have met their end. Merlin has never heard of it and Arthur explains that that’s because it is said that the mere mention of it can bring doom to any of those who hear it. Everyone is a bit disconcerted at this, especially Leon, whose crazy eyes are practically saying THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU MENTION IT?
“Well,” Gwaine says. “Let’s not mention it again.” He then proceeds to attempt to lighten the mood by describing his own nocturnal mind. “I was having a dream about eating a cheese that tasted of apple pie. Anyone else have that dream?” AHAHAHA. THEIR FACES! “You’re all missing out,” Gwaine declares, and goes back to sleep. I really, really, really love Gwaine. Almost as much as he loves apples.
Merlin and Arthur sneak off for a private chat so Merlin can explain that Morgana’s magical snake poison caused Leon and Percival to both have the same dream, in order to lure Arthur to his doom at the tower. Speaking of, Gwen is woken up by something dripping on her face. Oh, mandrake root again. Lovely.
The next morning, Arthur has an announcement. He has decided to journey to the Dark Tower, and because of the unknown and unspeakable horror awaiting him, he will do so alone.
Elyan: “You can’t stop me, Arthur. She’s my sister.”
Percival: “Nor me, Arthur. She’s our queen.”
Leon: “And our friend.”
Gwaine: “She’s a maiden in a tower, a damsel in distress. I was born for this moment.”
Merlin & Arthur: *eyefuck*
Arthur: “You CAN turn back, Merlin.”
Merlin: “I made you a promise, remember?”
Arthur has all the hearteyes in the world for his men. I have all the hearteyes in the world for the lot of them. And see? I these are the guys I know and love. Why were they so douchetastic last week? We get some pretty shots of the knights and horses riding through the scenery until they stop at the scenic lookout to see the Dark Tower ahead of them. Merlin asks how they get to it and Arthur tells them it’s through the Impenetrable Forest. Arthur’s horse shakes its head and snorts a very clear HELL TO THE NO. “But it’s….” Merlin begins. “Impenetrable,” Gwaine helpfully adds. AHAHAHA, Gwaine. Merlin agrees wholeheartedly, sounding a bit more Irish than usual when he and Gwaine share sentences, and says there’s no way they can get through. Way to be positive and keep Arthur’s spirits up, guys. Arthur’s going to give it a go anyway.
The Impenetrable Forest is really, really annoying, judging from Gwaine’s epic temper tantrum as he tries to get through the vines and gets his cape snagged. Everyone looks back at him and gives their WTF Gwaine faces for the second time this week. <3 <3 <3 I’m just wondering why they still have those stupid capes on when surrounded by vines and thorns anyway.
As the men slash (heh) their way through the forest with probably very blunt swords, we return to poor Gwen in the dark, still surrounded by hanging mandrake root. How do those things continue to drip for so long? Ugh. ACK! Ghostly Elyan appears to laugh maniacally at Gwen for a bit.
Back in the forest, Percival breaks his sword in half on a particularly annoying vine, so Merlin hands him another. I guess that means Merlin will be walking behind someone from now on. Someone who hopefully isn’t Gwaine, because he’s swinging his sword around like a very cranky madman. Arthur commands them not to stop but Percival says they’ve lost the path. There was a path? Arthur instructs them to continue heading north, which they can tell by the direction the dark leaves of the ivy face.
The next mandrakey appearance for Gwen is Merlin, and she seems relieved to see him, even if he is suspiciously pale blue. He plays a bit of hide and seek until ROWR! he appears out of nowhere to roar at her. Not gonna lie, I’ve been running with wolves during the break and I found it hot. Real Morgana arrives to save Gwen from further spookiness and invites her to dinner.
I’m getting a bit sick of the hack and slash scenes in this annoying forest. So are Arthur, Merlin and the knights, especially when Arthur finds a scrap of red fabric matching the hole in Gwaine’s cape. Yep, they have wasted an entire day walking in a circle. Arthur throws a tantrum and Leon decides they’ll make camp and start afresh after a good night’s sleep, because he is totally the dad of the group. The knights all leave Arthur in Merlin’s capable hands. Merlin reminds Arthur of the promise he made. This doesn’t seem to comfort him all that much.
Morgana seems to have reserved a table at Miss Havisham’s.
It’s not exactly the most romantic of locations to convince your ex to cross over to the dark side, but she works with what she’s got. She urges Gwen to eat and is terribly polite and kind. Gwen isn’t buying it, what with the whole being kidnapped and locked in a tower thing, but Morgana says it could be worse. Morgana spent two years living in darkness, chained to a wall at the bottom of a pit. Yeah, but she had a baby dragon to play with - Morgana needs to look on the bright side. She seems surprised that Gwen didn’t know about this (does she think Arthur was responsible?), and says she would have sold her soul for someone to show her kindness such as holding her prisoner and forcing her to sit at a table covered in cobwebs and dust and probably giant creepy spiders.
The boys, meanwhile, seemed to have cleared enough space in the forest for their own romantic evening. With limited room, Merlin and Arthur have to sleep a bit closer together. You would think Arthur would at least share his cape with Merlin, but no, Merlin is the only one snoozing without a pretty red blanket. Probably just as well that they’re not snuggling, because it means Merlin can make a clean getaway when the magical creature of the week calls to him via rustling leaves.
Merlin follows until he finds a tiny fairy/pixie/whatever, who introduces herself to Emrys as Queen Mab. I do like how they all seem to instinctively know to keep Merlin’s magic secret all the time. Just once, it’d be hilarious if some kind of wood sprite just rocked up in the middle of the day and started chatting to Merlin and when he tried to shush it, it would be like “WHAT? YOU HAVEN’T TOLD HIM YET? WHAT YEAR ARE WE IN? WHY IS THIS STILL AN ISSUE?” Anyway, Queen Mab tells Merlin that she is the spirit of this place and all the places that bring despair to men’s hearts. So basically, she was the spirit of last week’s entire episode, am I right? She flirts with Merlin for a bit and I want to tell her to back off and that that she is most decidedly not Merlin’s manic pixie dream girl, but Merlin does a pretty good job of it on his own. She tells him that the only way through the forest is to trust his mind’s eye, that right is left and left is right and a bunch of riddles that pisses Merlin off. So she gets snippy and tells him, in rhyme no less, that one of them will not return from their journey.
At Queen Mab’s mean girl laughter, Merlin looks back at the sleeping knights. Aw, they are all so cute that I don’t want to lose one, either Merlin. Gwaine seems to have shuffled a lot closer to Merlin’s vacated spot, too, like he wanted to share his blankie. Merlin asks Mab which one it will be (not even considering that it could be him) but she disappears without an answer.
Ugh, hack and slash time again as they try to find the clearing they found the day before. And then Merlin, bless him, stops everyone and pleads for Arthur to let him lead the way. It’s such an impassioned and confident speech about their shared love for Gwen, and he proves that he knows what he’s talking about when the sun suddenly appears like a magical compass, that everyone has WTF Merlin faces this time. Merlin gives them some bullshit story about his sense of smell knowing the direction of the sea, like he’s a bloodhound. And even though Arthur thinks it’s ridiculous, he and the knights agree to trust Merlin.
As Merlin leads them through the vines, he uses some kind of spell which really just seems like Shawn’s fake psychic visions on Psych as certain things like particular vines and Percival’s broken sword are highlighted in his vision. Percival picks up his sword stump from the day before and declares Merlin a genius. They arrive at the clearing and Arthur is so impressed, he squeezes Merlin’s shoulder and lets him lead them the rest of the way. Aw. The rest of the way seems a lot easier with Merlin picking up the pace, and they come to a stop at the edge of the desert. Gwaine is happy to have open space around him as they continue. It is now my headcanon that Gwaine is a bit claustrophobic, because he was easily the most affected in that forest, and it kind of also suits his initial characterisation of never wanting to be tied down to the same place for long.
Gwen is back in the mandrake room being spooked to her very limit and Morgana appears again. She looks like current Morgana but is acting like series one Morgana and it’s just making me very, very sad and nostalgic. She’s so convincing that Gwen even briefly takes her hand. Morgana says that she and Gwen are friends, that they always were, and that she’s looking after her. Gwen manages to find her backbone and says she wants nothing from Morgana. Well, if you don’t want food or friendship, I’d at least ask for some hair product, Gwen. That is some serious frizz.
Still making their way through the desert, Percival has to stop to inspect a rather nasty blister on his foot. Arthur has no sympathy and they press on. I’m not sure why we had to see that. Maybe to show that Arthur is ultra-determined. Maybe Tom Hopper got an actual blister and someone thought it would be cool if they could include it onscreen. The episode has mostly been knights walking/stopping/walking again and it it seems like it wasn’t really necessary.
Gwen, meanwhile, is totally losing it. It’s heartbreaking, but then we cross back to Merlin who slips down an embankment and nearly skewers himself on a dead knight’s sword sticking out of the sand and that’s all I suddenly care about. Percival gives Merlin a hand back up to the rest of them and Arthur tells them to keep moving. Arthur can fuck right off, I just want to hug Merlin and give Percival one of those nifty gel bandaid patches for his foot.
Oh, and Mandrake!Arthur has finally arrived in the Dark Tower. He manages to convince Gwen to look at him, tells her she’s safe now, and then laughs in her face. I’d kind of like to see a darkest timeline evil Arthur now.
As the men approach the tower, Gwen is inside being terrified by the one-two punch of Arthur’s laugh and Merlin’s roar. I think it’s her subconscious fears of the two of them being united without her, coming into being via the mandrake visions. And Morgana is there to save and hug her. “My darling, it was wrong to make you suffer,” Morgana says. She pretty much confirms that Gwen has been seeing her greatest fears, hidden in the back of her mind. So she secretly fears that Merlin is terrifying and dangerous, Arthur is just toying with her, and that Arthur and Merlin are a pair without a need for her. Wow. Nice. Morgana tells Gwen that she need never be alone again and that she is the only one she can trust, the only one Gwen has left in the world because the others taunt and hate her. And she almost has Gwen convinced, too, until Gwen refuses at the last minute, preferring to stay in the tower and die than join Morgana’s twisted game.
Arthur leads his men into the tower and they make their way up the stairs. Merlin thinks it’s too easy, which has Arthur rolling his eyes. “Are you ever happy?” he asks. Merlin doesn’t answer with “Not since you GOT MARRIED TO SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME , no,” but I like to think he said it in his head. Arthur and Merlin get stopped by the usual screaming cobweb-covered skeleton trick, and Elyan pushes on ahead in front of them while they restart their hearts. He calls for Arthur when he discovers a room.
Everyone rushes to Elyan before he can stop them and we learn that standing on particular stones in the room sends arrows shooting out of the walls. One makes its way into Percival’s leg, which is the usual target of arrows, and the other heads for Arthur’s head, after Gwaine or Leon pulls Merlin out of the way (I can’t quite tell - Leon is visible at the edge of the frame, but I think it might be Gwaine reaching across him). Merlin changes its course with a bit of magic, narrowly missing Leon and Gwaine’s necks in the process. Nice one, Merlin, they just totally saved your life a split second ago. “No-one move,” Arthur orders, and Gwaine freezes mid limbo Matrix move. Heh.
They correctly deduce that the flagstones react to pressure, so begin a game of lobbing objects onto the stones in front of them to discover which ones are safe and which ones send dangerous missiles shooting past their ears. It’s like chess, hopscotch and lawn bowls combined. Nearing the other end of the room, Elyan decides he’ll continue on before the rest catch up, even against Arthur’s orders. Yeah, something tells me he’ll pay for that. You would have thought he would have learned to listen to people after that whole possession thing last series.
Elyan arrives to save Gwen, who is being protected by an enchanted sword, threatening him in mid-air. Gwen tells him to go, that the sword will fight to the death and he cannot win against it, but Elyan, AGAIN, doesn’t listen. He does pretty well against it for a while, but eventually takes a serious hit. Ignoring Gwen’s pleas for him to leave, he continues to fight. He manages to trick it into flying out the window and closes the shutters, so it gets stuck in the wood when it returns like a boomerang.
Elyan collapses at Gwen’s feet and she pulls him into her lap. Gwen tells him that their father would be proud of him. “And of you,” Elyan says. “So proud.” And then he dies. Rest in peace, Elyan. We knew very little about you but you loved Gwaine’s shtick, defended Merlin a couple of times and seemed like a good friend to Mordred this year, and I really liked your voice. I’m sorry you had to be the victim of this show getting “darker” and more grown up or whatever.
Everything goes slow-mo and sad as the others arrive. Arthur joins Gwen while the rest stand back in shock. We move on to Elyan’s funeral. Oh, hey, even Mordred has shown up. Elyan gets a flaming boat like Lancelot and Freya, but it is lit with an arrow instead of Merlin’s magic. As Arthur and Gwen watch from the shore, Merlin speaks quietly with Gaius, telling him he was warned one of them would not return. Gaius assures Merlin that he is not to blame and says that the sword that killed Elyan was most likely intended for Arthur so, you know, it could have been worse. Harsh, but true, especially given Merlin’s only reason for existing these days. Merlin doesn’t seem to be all that comfortable with Gaius’ view of the situation, though, which actually gives me hope.
HOLY SHIT, THEY ACTUALLY DO SLEEP TOGETHER. That night, Gwen lies awake in Arthur’s bed with Arthur asleep beside her. There is spooning. I am shocked. Shocked, I tell you. The pretty, peaceful music from the funeral transition continues through this scene so I actually don’t suspect much when Gwen gets out of bed and leaves the room. But then she dons the Hooded Cloak of Evil Doings and leaves the castle and I say “No,” out loud.
She meets Morgana in the woods and they embrace. Gwen scoffs that Arthur thinks he has actually won, and says she can only trust Morgana. “You’re not one of them,” Morgana says. “And you never will be.” Gwen agrees and says that she hates them. All of them. Hey, now, that’s a bit harsh, considering they all just risked their lives to save you. Morgana praises Gwen and says that she will play an important part in her future plans to destroy everything Arthur holds dear. Gwen smirks. She SMIRKS. And I kind of like it. I’ve missed them together and I like that Morgana brainwashed her by playing on their past as BFFs and I just… I could really get behind them as an evil dynamic duo. It was about time Morgana stopped trying to enlist the help of a different powerful man every week and found someone who could actually do some real damage. It’s kind of perfect.
Also? Even though I know this isn’t going to take long to resolve and then everyone will welcome Gwen back into the fold and things will go back to boring normal, please can we have Morgana = Lancelot instead? Like, it’s actually the Gwen/Morgana romance (or friendship, whatever) that is Arthur’s downfall. I would love to see THAT story told.
Next Week: Gwen is sneaky. Merlin notices. Arthur’s horse gets spooked. And he is wearing the attractive open necked white tunic. Yeah, we all knew Old!Merlin would make an appearance sooner or later. Gwen runs through the forest. Merlin runs through the castle. Morgana pulls a knight off his mount (10 bucks says it’s Gwaine). Gwen whips her hair back and forth. Mordred, Percival and Leon look scared in the middle of the courtyard (is it Aithusa?). Gwen has some poison. Merlin screams Arthur’s name and finds him unconscious. OH NOES. (At least he’s still wearing that white tunic of hotness.)
In a land of myth and a time of characters occasionally remembering they’re related to each other, Gwen and Elyan have paid a visit to their father’s grave. It sits on a pretty hill above a little village, and as far as graves for someone killed by the king for using magic go, it’s a pretty nice one. And it’s nice that Gwen gets to leave the castle for once, even if it’s just to mourn her dead dad. Gwen still misses her father after all these years (after all the time skips, I’m not even going to guess how many years she’s talking about here) and Elyan says he was a good father. Yeah, good enough for you to walk out on and never see again, right, Eylan?
Back on the road and returning to Camelot, Gwen and Elyan are joined by Gwaine, Percival and Leon, who thinks that Tom would have been proud. Oh, so they’re actually remembering that Leon grew up with Gwen & Elyan, too? It pretty much means something bad is going to happen, if characters suddenly talk about their backstories out of nowhere. I feel a growing sense of unease. Unaware of this, Gwen thinks her father would have been particularly proud of Elyan, not just for being a knight, but the man he has become. The knights take this as an opportunity to give Elyan shit about his womanising ways for a bit until Percival says that Elyan loves only one woman. Ooh, Gwen thinks, these knights are nothing but a bunch of handsome gossip mongers and I should hang out with them more often. She asks who the lucky lady is. “You!” Elyan is quick to answer. Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew.
Gwen ignores the incestuous overtones and demands a serious answer. “Did Arthur not say?” Gwaine asks, giving Gwen a clear indication of what goes on around the campfires on all those trips her husband takes. “Arthur never tells me anything,” Gwen replies, giving us all a clear indication of what’s going on back in Camelot right now, with Arthur and Merlin getting some alone time. Elyan asks Gwen if Arthur told her who Gwaine’s in love with, keeping gender specifics out of the equation so we all yell MERLIN AND/OR PERCIVAL at the screen. Gwen has a different answer: “Himself.” And everyone laughs and it is so very cute, and then we see Morgana watching them from the bushes. Nooooo, go back to the happy fun times! I was enjoying that!
Morgana does some enchanty magic thing to the grass-covered path ahead of them and scurries away just before the gang arrive. There are motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plain! The snakes spook the horses and Leon is the first to fall off his mount, a snake slithering over him and, look, I don’t want to compare myself to a CGI snake here, but…. Yeah. Elyan tells Gwen to get to the trees, because obviously snakes don’t venture into the forest or something, and Gwen leaves them all there to fight off the reptiles. Percival is the next to fall and get assaulted by a snake. Guys! You’re doing it all wrong. THIS is how you handle them:
Click to view(Oh Jackson, I am going to miss you.)
Gwen keeps galloping through the trees, assisted by a great medieval sports bra, until she almost runs into Morgana. She gasps and turns her horse to run in the other direction but Morgana dismounts her easily with a quick glowy eyed hand pull manoeuvre. Gwen is out cold and Morgana advises her to sleep. “For it will be some time before you do so again.”
While the opening titles roll, let’s all remember the good old days when we used to imagine the fun things Gwen and Morgana got up to all night when they weren’t sleeping.
Gwaine leads the way into the ER with Leon and Percival’s unconscious yet still handsome bodies. Gaius and Merlin are a well-oiled machine and get to work immediately. I love it when Merlin displays his medical knowledge. Arthur arrives to see what happened and, as Elyan explains the nest of snakes, notices that there is one person (and, okay, Mordred, but we’re ignoring him again this week) missing in the room full of everyone he loves. “Where’s Guinevere?”
Elyan tries to explain that he told Gwen to flee so she did, but he can’t quite find the words to make ‘yeah so then Gwaine and I both came back here instead of one of us staying behind to look for her while the other took the snakebite victims back, strapped to their horses’ sound reasonable. Arthur storms out. Merlin follows immediately. Gaius will have to save the knights on his own for a bit. Oh, not long, because Arthur just tells Merlin that they will ride at dawn and stomps away, so Merlin goes back to Gaius after an accusing look at Elyan.
Because they can’t all fit in Merlin’s bed, and I like to think they’ve already tried when not unconscious, Percival and Leon get their own separate beds. The knights must have private health insurance. Gaius and Merlin discover that the snakebites are not your usual hiking accident. “There is dark magic coursing through their veins. At any rate, they should be dead.” Thanks, Gaius. Let’s also note that Leon is so pretty when he’s sleeping and I think the casual clothes might also have something to do with this. We usually only see him in chain mail & cape, or occasionally in a floaty gown. The grey tunic is a nice change of scenery. Merlin thinks they’re lucky to be alive, but Gaius fears that it’s all part of someone’s nefarious plan.
With Gwen out of the picture for the night, Merlin doesn’t have to knock on Arthur’s door, but Arthur admonishes him for it anyway. Merlin’s apology is more of a reflex than anything else, and Arthur is too sadface to take the bait. Merlin updates Arthur on the status of Leon and Percival, who are going to be totally fine except for the fact that they have been affected by sorcery and Gaius suspects Morgana is involved, and Arthur doesn’t seem surprised. He tells Merlin that he can go in a way that means ‘please stay and hold me throughout the night’ and then starts talking about his feelings to keep Merlin there. Merlin assures Arthur that they’re not going to lose Gwen, and swears that they will find her. He holds his hand out towards Arthur and as the violin music swells, they clasp each other’s arms in that manly, heterosexual warrior way, but their dewy eyes are telling another story entirely. “We’ll bring her home,” Merlin promises, never breaking eye contact, and we quickly cut to the next morning so everything from that point until sunrise is left to our imaginations. And, oh, we can IMAGINE.
While the search party rides out, Morgana gently wakes Gwen up from her nap. Morgana wants to play a little game with Gwen, to find out just how much Arthur loves her. Gwen assures Morgana that it won’t work. “He’s not stupid.” Ahahahaha. Ahahahahahaha. Ha. Ha. Heh. Morgana agrees that he’ll know it’s a trap, but is pretty sure he’ll still come anyway.
On the trail, the gang discover Gwen’s horse and Leon (who seems completely healed, as does Percival) tells us that the broken stirrups indicate Gwen must have been knocked by her mount by some force. I don’t really see much else in this scene other than the fact that Leon’s horse has the same curly fringe as he does. It’s cute. Percival finds tracks heading east, so they ride in pursuit. There also seems to be some more horse swapping going on, because I’m sure there were grey horses in the mix when they left Camelot and they have suddenly disappeared.
Without the luxury of a pretty horsey of any colour, Gwen is dragged behind Morgana’s. She stumbles and Morgana stops to offer her water. Gwen says she doesn’t want anything from Morgana. “Just my crown,” Morgana replies. Heh. Pissed off that Gwen isn’t responding to her sort-of kindness, Morgana tips the water out in front of her and drags her forward once more. They eventually reach a desert surrounding a very tall tower. Great, first we had the North in the first episode this year, and now we have the Red Waste.
In the darkness, the knights have lost the trail and hint that it might be time to make camp. Arthur turns back to retrace the tracks while everyone else stays still. “I’ll talk to him,” Merlin tells the knights, and follows. I love that they just let Merlin go because they know he’s the one to get through to Arthur.
Oh, Arthur. Merlin has to bring out his kind, understanding voice to get through to Arthur. He knows that Gwen is still out there, and can’t be far away, but reminds Arthur that they have to work together. Arthur is silent, so Merlin takes charge and takes Arthur back to make camp. LOVE! I love that Arthur couldn’t bring himself to make the decision to stop searching for the night, and relied on Merlin to make it for him. And I love that Merlin knew that. And the knights knew that. And he’s not just a servant anymore, dammit.
Meanwhile, Morgana urges Gwen up the long and winding staircase of the tower, into a dark room. “Sleep well,” she tells Gwen, and promptly locks her in. Gwen looks around her. And that’s when the screaming starts.
Seated around the fire, Arthur notices that Elyan is standing alone in the trees and goes over to give him a kingly pep talk. Elyan is feeling guilty for saving Leon and Percival and not his own sister. “We can all blame ourselves,” Arthur says. I’m guessing that maybe he didn’t go with Gwen because he felt uncomfortable about the way her father died? And maybe he thinks if he had gotten over that, he could have been there to save her? I don’t know. Elyan says that Gwen raised him, which seems a bit odd given that we hadn’t even heard of him until he just showed up out of the blue. They talk for a bit about Gwen’s influence and all the feels she gives, and I’m not sure if Arthur is agreeing and sympathising because of his feelings for Gwen, or his feelings regarding his own sister, but they bond and Arthur leads Elyan back to the fire with a comforting arm around his shoulders.
The full moon watches over our boys as they all lay around the embers. It’s all so peaceful, and I’m leaning in to see who’s sleeping next to who and then SWEET BABY JESUS IN THE MANGER CAN SOMEONE PLEASE COME AND PEEL ME OFF THE CEILING REAL QUICK? Leon like, SHRIEKS, and sits bolt upright. I just lost several years’ worth of heartbeats. As everyone else remembers how to breathe again, Merlin is the first to rush over and comfort Leon after his bad dream. Bless. Leon describes his dream of the tower full of death and children screaming. “And the rain that fell was like blood,” Percival adds, and Leon turns to him. They had the same dream, thanks to the snake venom, I imagine. They both recount the dream and sound like they have joined Merlin and Arthur’s late night poetry sessions because the words are full of horrific (and lame) imagery. I gather the snakes had some kind of purple prose venom? Leon ends with the description of the tower: “A tower so dark it could swallow the sun.”
“The Dark Tower,” Arthur concludes. See? Gwen told you he was smart! Arthur tells us that the Dark Tower is a place all young knights are taught to fear, where many have met their end. Merlin has never heard of it and Arthur explains that that’s because it is said that the mere mention of it can bring doom to any of those who hear it. Everyone is a bit disconcerted at this, especially Leon, whose crazy eyes are practically saying THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU MENTION IT?
“Well,” Gwaine says. “Let’s not mention it again.” He then proceeds to attempt to lighten the mood by describing his own nocturnal mind. “I was having a dream about eating a cheese that tasted of apple pie. Anyone else have that dream?” AHAHAHA. THEIR FACES! “You’re all missing out,” Gwaine declares, and goes back to sleep. I really, really, really love Gwaine. Almost as much as he loves apples.
Merlin and Arthur sneak off for a private chat so Merlin can explain that Morgana’s magical snake poison caused Leon and Percival to both have the same dream, in order to lure Arthur to his doom at the tower. Speaking of, Gwen is woken up by something dripping on her face. Oh, mandrake root again. Lovely.
The next morning, Arthur has an announcement. He has decided to journey to the Dark Tower, and because of the unknown and unspeakable horror awaiting him, he will do so alone.
Elyan: “You can’t stop me, Arthur. She’s my sister.”
Percival: “Nor me, Arthur. She’s our queen.”
Leon: “And our friend.”
Gwaine: “She’s a maiden in a tower, a damsel in distress. I was born for this moment.”
Merlin & Arthur: *eyefuck*
Arthur: “You CAN turn back, Merlin.”
Merlin: “I made you a promise, remember?”
Arthur has all the hearteyes in the world for his men. I have all the hearteyes in the world for the lot of them. And see? I these are the guys I know and love. Why were they so douchetastic last week? We get some pretty shots of the knights and horses riding through the scenery until they stop at the scenic lookout to see the Dark Tower ahead of them. Merlin asks how they get to it and Arthur tells them it’s through the Impenetrable Forest. Arthur’s horse shakes its head and snorts a very clear HELL TO THE NO. “But it’s….” Merlin begins. “Impenetrable,” Gwaine helpfully adds. AHAHAHA, Gwaine. Merlin agrees wholeheartedly, sounding a bit more Irish than usual when he and Gwaine share sentences, and says there’s no way they can get through. Way to be positive and keep Arthur’s spirits up, guys. Arthur’s going to give it a go anyway.
The Impenetrable Forest is really, really annoying, judging from Gwaine’s epic temper tantrum as he tries to get through the vines and gets his cape snagged. Everyone looks back at him and gives their WTF Gwaine faces for the second time this week. <3 <3 <3 I’m just wondering why they still have those stupid capes on when surrounded by vines and thorns anyway.
As the men slash (heh) their way through the forest with probably very blunt swords, we return to poor Gwen in the dark, still surrounded by hanging mandrake root. How do those things continue to drip for so long? Ugh. ACK! Ghostly Elyan appears to laugh maniacally at Gwen for a bit.
Back in the forest, Percival breaks his sword in half on a particularly annoying vine, so Merlin hands him another. I guess that means Merlin will be walking behind someone from now on. Someone who hopefully isn’t Gwaine, because he’s swinging his sword around like a very cranky madman. Arthur commands them not to stop but Percival says they’ve lost the path. There was a path? Arthur instructs them to continue heading north, which they can tell by the direction the dark leaves of the ivy face.
The next mandrakey appearance for Gwen is Merlin, and she seems relieved to see him, even if he is suspiciously pale blue. He plays a bit of hide and seek until ROWR! he appears out of nowhere to roar at her. Not gonna lie, I’ve been running with wolves during the break and I found it hot. Real Morgana arrives to save Gwen from further spookiness and invites her to dinner.
I’m getting a bit sick of the hack and slash scenes in this annoying forest. So are Arthur, Merlin and the knights, especially when Arthur finds a scrap of red fabric matching the hole in Gwaine’s cape. Yep, they have wasted an entire day walking in a circle. Arthur throws a tantrum and Leon decides they’ll make camp and start afresh after a good night’s sleep, because he is totally the dad of the group. The knights all leave Arthur in Merlin’s capable hands. Merlin reminds Arthur of the promise he made. This doesn’t seem to comfort him all that much.
Morgana seems to have reserved a table at Miss Havisham’s.
It’s not exactly the most romantic of locations to convince your ex to cross over to the dark side, but she works with what she’s got. She urges Gwen to eat and is terribly polite and kind. Gwen isn’t buying it, what with the whole being kidnapped and locked in a tower thing, but Morgana says it could be worse. Morgana spent two years living in darkness, chained to a wall at the bottom of a pit. Yeah, but she had a baby dragon to play with - Morgana needs to look on the bright side. She seems surprised that Gwen didn’t know about this (does she think Arthur was responsible?), and says she would have sold her soul for someone to show her kindness such as holding her prisoner and forcing her to sit at a table covered in cobwebs and dust and probably giant creepy spiders.
The boys, meanwhile, seemed to have cleared enough space in the forest for their own romantic evening. With limited room, Merlin and Arthur have to sleep a bit closer together. You would think Arthur would at least share his cape with Merlin, but no, Merlin is the only one snoozing without a pretty red blanket. Probably just as well that they’re not snuggling, because it means Merlin can make a clean getaway when the magical creature of the week calls to him via rustling leaves.
Merlin follows until he finds a tiny fairy/pixie/whatever, who introduces herself to Emrys as Queen Mab. I do like how they all seem to instinctively know to keep Merlin’s magic secret all the time. Just once, it’d be hilarious if some kind of wood sprite just rocked up in the middle of the day and started chatting to Merlin and when he tried to shush it, it would be like “WHAT? YOU HAVEN’T TOLD HIM YET? WHAT YEAR ARE WE IN? WHY IS THIS STILL AN ISSUE?” Anyway, Queen Mab tells Merlin that she is the spirit of this place and all the places that bring despair to men’s hearts. So basically, she was the spirit of last week’s entire episode, am I right? She flirts with Merlin for a bit and I want to tell her to back off and that that she is most decidedly not Merlin’s manic pixie dream girl, but Merlin does a pretty good job of it on his own. She tells him that the only way through the forest is to trust his mind’s eye, that right is left and left is right and a bunch of riddles that pisses Merlin off. So she gets snippy and tells him, in rhyme no less, that one of them will not return from their journey.
At Queen Mab’s mean girl laughter, Merlin looks back at the sleeping knights. Aw, they are all so cute that I don’t want to lose one, either Merlin. Gwaine seems to have shuffled a lot closer to Merlin’s vacated spot, too, like he wanted to share his blankie. Merlin asks Mab which one it will be (not even considering that it could be him) but she disappears without an answer.
Ugh, hack and slash time again as they try to find the clearing they found the day before. And then Merlin, bless him, stops everyone and pleads for Arthur to let him lead the way. It’s such an impassioned and confident speech about their shared love for Gwen, and he proves that he knows what he’s talking about when the sun suddenly appears like a magical compass, that everyone has WTF Merlin faces this time. Merlin gives them some bullshit story about his sense of smell knowing the direction of the sea, like he’s a bloodhound. And even though Arthur thinks it’s ridiculous, he and the knights agree to trust Merlin.
As Merlin leads them through the vines, he uses some kind of spell which really just seems like Shawn’s fake psychic visions on Psych as certain things like particular vines and Percival’s broken sword are highlighted in his vision. Percival picks up his sword stump from the day before and declares Merlin a genius. They arrive at the clearing and Arthur is so impressed, he squeezes Merlin’s shoulder and lets him lead them the rest of the way. Aw. The rest of the way seems a lot easier with Merlin picking up the pace, and they come to a stop at the edge of the desert. Gwaine is happy to have open space around him as they continue. It is now my headcanon that Gwaine is a bit claustrophobic, because he was easily the most affected in that forest, and it kind of also suits his initial characterisation of never wanting to be tied down to the same place for long.
Gwen is back in the mandrake room being spooked to her very limit and Morgana appears again. She looks like current Morgana but is acting like series one Morgana and it’s just making me very, very sad and nostalgic. She’s so convincing that Gwen even briefly takes her hand. Morgana says that she and Gwen are friends, that they always were, and that she’s looking after her. Gwen manages to find her backbone and says she wants nothing from Morgana. Well, if you don’t want food or friendship, I’d at least ask for some hair product, Gwen. That is some serious frizz.
Still making their way through the desert, Percival has to stop to inspect a rather nasty blister on his foot. Arthur has no sympathy and they press on. I’m not sure why we had to see that. Maybe to show that Arthur is ultra-determined. Maybe Tom Hopper got an actual blister and someone thought it would be cool if they could include it onscreen. The episode has mostly been knights walking/stopping/walking again and it it seems like it wasn’t really necessary.
Gwen, meanwhile, is totally losing it. It’s heartbreaking, but then we cross back to Merlin who slips down an embankment and nearly skewers himself on a dead knight’s sword sticking out of the sand and that’s all I suddenly care about. Percival gives Merlin a hand back up to the rest of them and Arthur tells them to keep moving. Arthur can fuck right off, I just want to hug Merlin and give Percival one of those nifty gel bandaid patches for his foot.
Oh, and Mandrake!Arthur has finally arrived in the Dark Tower. He manages to convince Gwen to look at him, tells her she’s safe now, and then laughs in her face. I’d kind of like to see a darkest timeline evil Arthur now.
As the men approach the tower, Gwen is inside being terrified by the one-two punch of Arthur’s laugh and Merlin’s roar. I think it’s her subconscious fears of the two of them being united without her, coming into being via the mandrake visions. And Morgana is there to save and hug her. “My darling, it was wrong to make you suffer,” Morgana says. She pretty much confirms that Gwen has been seeing her greatest fears, hidden in the back of her mind. So she secretly fears that Merlin is terrifying and dangerous, Arthur is just toying with her, and that Arthur and Merlin are a pair without a need for her. Wow. Nice. Morgana tells Gwen that she need never be alone again and that she is the only one she can trust, the only one Gwen has left in the world because the others taunt and hate her. And she almost has Gwen convinced, too, until Gwen refuses at the last minute, preferring to stay in the tower and die than join Morgana’s twisted game.
Arthur leads his men into the tower and they make their way up the stairs. Merlin thinks it’s too easy, which has Arthur rolling his eyes. “Are you ever happy?” he asks. Merlin doesn’t answer with “Not since you GOT MARRIED TO SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME , no,” but I like to think he said it in his head. Arthur and Merlin get stopped by the usual screaming cobweb-covered skeleton trick, and Elyan pushes on ahead in front of them while they restart their hearts. He calls for Arthur when he discovers a room.
Everyone rushes to Elyan before he can stop them and we learn that standing on particular stones in the room sends arrows shooting out of the walls. One makes its way into Percival’s leg, which is the usual target of arrows, and the other heads for Arthur’s head, after Gwaine or Leon pulls Merlin out of the way (I can’t quite tell - Leon is visible at the edge of the frame, but I think it might be Gwaine reaching across him). Merlin changes its course with a bit of magic, narrowly missing Leon and Gwaine’s necks in the process. Nice one, Merlin, they just totally saved your life a split second ago. “No-one move,” Arthur orders, and Gwaine freezes mid limbo Matrix move. Heh.
They correctly deduce that the flagstones react to pressure, so begin a game of lobbing objects onto the stones in front of them to discover which ones are safe and which ones send dangerous missiles shooting past their ears. It’s like chess, hopscotch and lawn bowls combined. Nearing the other end of the room, Elyan decides he’ll continue on before the rest catch up, even against Arthur’s orders. Yeah, something tells me he’ll pay for that. You would have thought he would have learned to listen to people after that whole possession thing last series.
Elyan arrives to save Gwen, who is being protected by an enchanted sword, threatening him in mid-air. Gwen tells him to go, that the sword will fight to the death and he cannot win against it, but Elyan, AGAIN, doesn’t listen. He does pretty well against it for a while, but eventually takes a serious hit. Ignoring Gwen’s pleas for him to leave, he continues to fight. He manages to trick it into flying out the window and closes the shutters, so it gets stuck in the wood when it returns like a boomerang.
Elyan collapses at Gwen’s feet and she pulls him into her lap. Gwen tells him that their father would be proud of him. “And of you,” Elyan says. “So proud.” And then he dies. Rest in peace, Elyan. We knew very little about you but you loved Gwaine’s shtick, defended Merlin a couple of times and seemed like a good friend to Mordred this year, and I really liked your voice. I’m sorry you had to be the victim of this show getting “darker” and more grown up or whatever.
Everything goes slow-mo and sad as the others arrive. Arthur joins Gwen while the rest stand back in shock. We move on to Elyan’s funeral. Oh, hey, even Mordred has shown up. Elyan gets a flaming boat like Lancelot and Freya, but it is lit with an arrow instead of Merlin’s magic. As Arthur and Gwen watch from the shore, Merlin speaks quietly with Gaius, telling him he was warned one of them would not return. Gaius assures Merlin that he is not to blame and says that the sword that killed Elyan was most likely intended for Arthur so, you know, it could have been worse. Harsh, but true, especially given Merlin’s only reason for existing these days. Merlin doesn’t seem to be all that comfortable with Gaius’ view of the situation, though, which actually gives me hope.
HOLY SHIT, THEY ACTUALLY DO SLEEP TOGETHER. That night, Gwen lies awake in Arthur’s bed with Arthur asleep beside her. There is spooning. I am shocked. Shocked, I tell you. The pretty, peaceful music from the funeral transition continues through this scene so I actually don’t suspect much when Gwen gets out of bed and leaves the room. But then she dons the Hooded Cloak of Evil Doings and leaves the castle and I say “No,” out loud.
She meets Morgana in the woods and they embrace. Gwen scoffs that Arthur thinks he has actually won, and says she can only trust Morgana. “You’re not one of them,” Morgana says. “And you never will be.” Gwen agrees and says that she hates them. All of them. Hey, now, that’s a bit harsh, considering they all just risked their lives to save you. Morgana praises Gwen and says that she will play an important part in her future plans to destroy everything Arthur holds dear. Gwen smirks. She SMIRKS. And I kind of like it. I’ve missed them together and I like that Morgana brainwashed her by playing on their past as BFFs and I just… I could really get behind them as an evil dynamic duo. It was about time Morgana stopped trying to enlist the help of a different powerful man every week and found someone who could actually do some real damage. It’s kind of perfect.
Also? Even though I know this isn’t going to take long to resolve and then everyone will welcome Gwen back into the fold and things will go back to boring normal, please can we have Morgana = Lancelot instead? Like, it’s actually the Gwen/Morgana romance (or friendship, whatever) that is Arthur’s downfall. I would love to see THAT story told.
Next Week: Gwen is sneaky. Merlin notices. Arthur’s horse gets spooked. And he is wearing the attractive open necked white tunic. Yeah, we all knew Old!Merlin would make an appearance sooner or later. Gwen runs through the forest. Merlin runs through the castle. Morgana pulls a knight off his mount (10 bucks says it’s Gwaine). Gwen whips her hair back and forth. Mordred, Percival and Leon look scared in the middle of the courtyard (is it Aithusa?). Gwen has some poison. Merlin screams Arthur’s name and finds him unconscious. OH NOES. (At least he’s still wearing that white tunic of hotness.)