merlin - the kindness of strangers
Hey, I'm posting this one on the same day I watched it. Just.
In a land of myth and time of invisible dog armies, Morgana and her latest bunch of men are hunting someone through the forest. There are dogs baying for blood, but they are nowhere to be seen. Ooh, unless the men are the ones barking. Maybe Morgana gave a bunch of stray mutts human form to do her bidding. Or maybe they’re reverse-werewolves under the light of the full moon.
With a nifty bit of glowy-eyed landmine spelling, Morgana eventually runs the guy down and her men hold him captive. Heeeeey, it’s Billy Elliot’s dad again! Last time we saw this guy, he was basically declaring Merlin the king of his people and leaving to start up a Facebook fanpage for Emrys. And it seems that, despite the disappointing final series so far, our friend Alator is still very much a Merlin fanboy and refuses to disclose his identity to Morgana.
As Morgana dreams of all the ways she’s going to torture this guy, the opening credits roll.
We return to another romantic threesome date in the forest. Arthur leads his bride and boyfriend to a lovely clearing filled with the twittering sound of birdsong, and dismounts. He uses some cheesy line about Gwen’s beauty which has Gwen laughing and Merlin snorting, which Arthur totally hears. Merlin blames the noise on his horse, and the horse is all, ‘don’t get me involved in your little flirty games’ as Arthur stalks towards Merlin and informs him that there is a ‘special punishment reserved for such impudence’. Merlin actually looks a bit worried for some reason, even when Arthur’s tone CLEARY indicates that any type of punishment in this instance would result in Merlin having a VERY good time, and then Arthur laughs and pats Merlin’s arm and tells him he’s too easy before returning to Gwen like he didn’t just proposition his manservant in front of his queen.
As Arthur helps unload supplies from Merlin’s horse, who is equally as downtrodden and burdened as his rider and has me wondering if the other horses make fun of him, Merlin and Gwen take the opportunity to gossip. Merlin doesn’t think Arthur has been this happy in a long time and Gwen agrees and says he’s changed. Yeah, agrees Merlin, just as Arthur lobs a water skin directly at his head. As Merlin eyerolls and Gwen laughs, Arthur asks Merlin to catch and throws the next one straight past him, into the trees.
Arthur: “I think my dog can catch better than you.”
Me: Is your dog invisible, too?
Merlin: “Possibly because you treat him better.”
Gwen: BURN.
Playing fetch for Arthur, because a happy Arthur is an attractive Arthur, Merlin notices something on the trunk of a nearby tree. Arthur most decidedly does not want this day ruined and tells Merlin that the markings were made from stags marking their territory. Merlin disagrees, and says that magic was involved. Ooh, magical stags. Is Gwen going to turn into a deer again? But Arthur, expert on everything that involves killing cute woodland creatures, is adamant that the markings were caused by normal, everyday, horny stags. “It’s rutting season,” Arthur says, returning to the picnic blanket. “Come on, your king awaits!” Ah, so THAT’S the reason for the picnic in the woods. It’s rutting season. Unfortunately, we skip all the rutting, because right after Merlin finds a mysterious medallion at the base of the tree, we switch to Camelot, where a bunch of refugees are crowding the courtyard.
Arthur, Merlin (on a completely different horse - maybe the other one wore out) and Gwen (her horse appears to have gotten a perm during the trip) ride up to Leon, who informs them of the situation - the refugees are from over the border in Odin’s lands. Is that near Ealdor? I really wish we could have had an Ealdor episode in the final series, or at least mention of Merlin’s mother. Ugh, so many missed opportunities.
The powers that be (and Merlin) all convene inside so Leon can address them properly. He looks really hot today, and there is a nice bit of lighting in the room, so I rather like this scene. Leon tells them the refugees’ city was attacked with magic, and they suspect Morgana. Arthur sends all the knights out to increase security, and Merlin and Arthur have a little chat with Gwen sitting in the corner watching on. Seriously, now we can see why they gave her the little puppet storyline for a few episodes, even though it served no real purpose to the plot - at least she didn’t have to sit around and be ignored all the damn time. Anyway, Merlin doesn’t think it makes sense for Morgana to attack a city which he says is one of the last places where magic can be used freely.
Gaius inspects the latest prop Merlin found in the forest and says it came from the same magic city Morgana attacked. He suggests that one of the refugees may have dropped it but Merlin is not so sure. He decides to go back and do a bit of forensics around the picnic site. Gauis doesn’t want Merlin to go out alone if Morgana is within Camelot’s borders (hasn’t she been within the borders all month talking to Gwen?) and tells him to take someone with him. Me: GWAINE!!!!! But Merlin reasons that if he DOES run into the big bad Morgana, it’s not going to matter who he takes anyway. I don’t know, Merlin, maybe Gwaine could distract her with a bit of hair-swishing flirting?
Merlin’s old horse seems to have recovered enough to accompany him to the crime scene. There’s a lot of tense music and wandering around in the dark as Merlin follows the clues until he finds an abandoned camp. I hope he takes that poor ownerless horse back to Camelot with him. Let’s just pretend he does, because all we see him return with are some torn pages full of mysterious writing.
Back inside Gaius’ cosy chambers, Merlin sits back with a well-earned beverage and a good book while Gaius goes over the papers and grumbles about Merlin ignoring his advice and going out into possible trap. The writing is in the language of the Catha, which Gaius is a little rusty on, but he deciphers a signature - Alator. This gets Merlin out of his odd casual-ness, especially when Gaius concludes that Morgana must be torturing their good buddy Mr Elliot in order to discover the true identity of Emrys.
Alator, bless him, refuses to betray Emrys, but Morgana has a trick up her sleeve. It’s a snake in a box.
Apparently this snake has the power to cause unimaginable pain to the victim’s soul. Morgana asks one more time: “Where is Emrys?”
HE’S BEHIND CURTAIN NUMBER ONE. Merlin opens the curtains separating Arthur’s bed from the rest of the room and Arthur pops up out of nowhere on the other side. There is much whispering as Arthur tells Merlin that he is going to surprise Gwen with breakfast in bed. “Oh. What a lovely thought,” Merlin whispers with a winning smile, right before closing the curtains in Arthur’s face. But he can’t get out of it that easy, because when Arthur says that he is going to get breakfast for Gwen, what he means is that MERLIN will get breakfast for Gwen, while Arthur stays behind in case she wakes up and panics at him not being there. Please, it took half a series before we even got confirmation that they even shared a room, I’m sure she’d be fine. And just before Merlin can make it out the door, Arthur reminds him to get flowers as well. “Of course. The personal touch. Nice,” Merlin says. Sarcasm is lost on Arthur Pendragon.
As Merlin skips along just outside the castle gates, collecting a bouquet of wildflowers, a mysterious cloaked (and armed) figure watches him. He’s distracted by the noise of the knights patrolling the forest when the cloaked person, a lady, grabs him from behind a tree. She has a tattoo on her wrist which ISN’T a Derek Hale tattoo. The lady calls him Emrys and says that if he values his king, he will meet her later that night at some nearby temple. Alone.
Merlin returns to Arthur’s chambers with a breakfast tray minus the flowers, which he seems to have forgotten during all the cloak and dagger stuff. Arthur is not impressed, but Gwen wakes before he can threaten any more ‘punishment’ so Arthur takes the tray to her. She thinks it’s a very sweet gesture, and is not surprised to discover Merlin bumbling about outside the curtain. Arthur blusters and berates him for being in the royal chambers, where he has spent most of his life since we’ve known him, but Gwen just smiles and thanks Merlin for the breakfast. “It was my idea,” Arthur says through an embarrassed yet kingly pout.
Having returned to Gaius’, Merlin sketches out an incredibly detailed and accurate picture of the tattoo on the mystery lady’s wrist. Gaius says it looks like the mark of…I don’t know, some order of high priestesses that are taken at birth and raised as something. I’m distracted because Merlin has the end of the pencil in his mouth (and also becauset he HAS a pencil) and is leaning over the table, resting his chin on his folded arms, and he just looks so incredibly pretty. Dear god, THAT MOUTH. Gaius tells Merlin that this lady could be dangerous, given that she is practiced in very potent magic, but Merlin says that she told him Arthur’s enemies were closer than he thought, and concluded that she was talking about Mordred. Because everything is about Mordred these days, according to Merlin. He’s kind of obsessed. Gaius thinks she’s using this obsession to trap Merlin, and that the only explanation for this lady knowing Merlin’s identity is that Alator must have already told Morgana. OH. So what about the hundreds of druids and various magical people we have met over the last five series who all knew about the Merlin/Emrys connection? THIS MAKES NO SENSE. I get that they’re trying to shoehorn in some conflict between Gaius and Merlin, but this is freaking ridiculous.
So Gaius goes on about his stupid, illogical conclusion, Merlin continues with his Mordred obsession, and I get a bit annoyed. Gaius reveals that the reason he’s so touchy about this is because he was the one who revealed Merlin’s identity to Alator after being tortured, and pleads for Merlin to listen to him. “You know I’d never to do anything to hurt you, Gaius,” Merlin lies. “BZZZT” says Gaius’ internal lie detector.
The cloaked lady hangs out in some atmospheric ruins while she waits for Merlin. To pass the time, she shoots off a quick r-mail. We can’t understand the language as she instructs the raven, but it includes the name, Morgana Pendragon. That raven is almost a regular cast member these days. I’m going to name him Inky from now on. We get a nice exit shot of Inky flying through the arches of the ruin.
Meanwhile, Gaius pays a visit to Arthur, rambling on about doctor-patient confidentiality for a bit. He eventually reveals that he has heard of a follower of the Old Religion within the walls of Camelot, who poses a threat to the kingdom and Arthur, himself. He gives away the time and location of the woman’s magical practices and Arthur takes it from there. Congratulations, Gaius, you just instigated a good old-fashioned witch hunt.
In the armoury, things are much more light-hearted, as Modred, Percival and Leon play piggy in the middle with Gwaine’s helmet. Gwaine is not amused and they pass it back and forth over his head, and neither is Merlin, who is hanging their red capes in the background. Does he do their laundry, too? No wonder there are 50 shades of red amongst them. The knights don’t notice Arthur entering until he catches the helmet mid-air, and they all drop their heads like scolded puppies.
Percival tries to come up with an excuse which involves some adorable stammering but Arthur cuts him off. He smiles at Gwaine and holds the helmet out to him…then quickly throws it to Percival. Hee! While there are relieved chuckles all ‘round, Arthur takes Mordred aside to give him a secret task. Merlin is concerned.
In an attempt to alleviate his guilt, Gaius cooks Merlin’s favourite dinner (which looks like porridge) and serves it up. He notices Merlin doesn’t have much of an appetite and tells him that ignoring the woman in the forest is for the best. Later, Merlin doesn’t feel good about it, but he sneaks out anyway. He even has to sneak past actual guards at the gate.
When Merlin arrives at the ruins, the woman kneels before him and calls him “Great One” so I like her already. Merlin is full of modesty and asks how she knows his name. She tells him that her master, Alator, told her, and along with a general hi, also sends a warning: “The great battle nears. The fate of Camelot rests in the balance. Only you, Great Emrys, can insure the triumph of the Once and Future King.”
And of course, just when she’s about to tell Merlin HOW he can do this, Mordred and his witch hunting party show up. Merlin and the lady make a run for it. Even though she doesn’t want to leave Merlin, he tells the lady to go on ahead and promises to meet up with her after losing the knights. All it takes is a quick spell to send someone, possibly Percival, flying, and then hold them all off with a wall of fire. It’s pretty impressive.
Inky arrives at the castle, and it seems the recipient of the lady’s r-mail is Alator. Do not fear Alator, I have found Emrys. Our sacred mission continues. Your faithfull (sorry, spellcheck, that’s what it says in the letter) servant, Finna. Oh, she has a name! Now quickly, Alator, tear that message up and eat the little pieces. Nobody who has survived being hunted throughout the five kingdoms for all these years would be stupid enough to leave it lying around, right? RIGHT?
Back in Camelot, Arthur is most displeased at the outcome of his new puppy’s mission. He seems to have made friends with sarcasm when Leon clarifies that they weren’t just up against one old woman - there were two of them. “Oh, well, THAT explains it!” Heh. Merlin allows himself to be a tiny bit smug when Mordred tells Arthur that they couldn’t see who the second person was. Arthur sends them out to, again, increase security. Hey, he’s learning.
And if you thought Mordred was getting a slightly over the top scolding, it has nothing on what Merlin must have just given Gaius. Gaius is quiet and apologetic and tries to make his excuses for dobbing on Finna, saying he was just worried about Merlin. Merlin informs him that Finna was working for Alator, not Morgana, and Gaius asks how he was to know that. Um, LOGIC? “Because I told you,” Merlin says, fully packed and on his way out the door again. I cheer. Gaius says it’s all his fault for acting like a foolish man, and Merlin stops and says he’s never that. AHEM. Merlin gives him a hug and heads out to find Finna.
Alator, meanwhile, still hasn’t broken. He tells Morgana how futile her efforts are and that she will never find Emrys. “He is your destiny, Morgana. And he is your doom.” Her responding slapfest is interrupted by one of her men, who has found the letter in Alator’s cell. ALSDJFGOHOHGW JOWGHOPHGR HOW STUPID ARE THESE PEOPLE? Even Morgana is embarrassed on his behalf. She sends someone out to find Finna, promises Alator that she will break Finna like a twig, rubs his nose in it for a bit, then promptly snaps his neck with nothing but a glow of her eyes and nod of the head. Seriously, why the hell does Morgana use that stupid repetitive flying through the air spell when she can just DO THAT? And as Morgana takes a seat on her throne of evil, let’s all take a moment to remember Alator. RIP, Billy Elliot’s dad. You were loyal and we liked you, but you were also an imbecile at the end. May you learn from this in your next life.
Finna dodges patrolling knights as she walks through the forest, leaving magical tree-scarring breadcrumbs as she goes. Merlin follows them until he is stopped by a sword at his neck. Eek! The camera pans back, and it’s Percival with an elegantly raised eyebrow. Hee.
“Herbs?” Leon asks, when Merlin has later joined all the knights in the forest. “You were looking for herbs?” Merlin explains that Gaius needs them fresh or they’re not as effective. I’m just wondering why, during all those years of prosperity, someone didn’t set up a little herb garden for Gaius within the castle walls. See also: flowerbed for the Queen. Percival doesn’t think it’s the right time and place to be out gathering herbs.
Merlin: Well you were grateful enough for them when Gaius cured you of your palsy.”
Everyone: *stops and looks at Percival*
Percival: “It wasn’t palsy.”
Merlin: “I was being polite.”
Mordred: *laughs* Merlin is funny, guys. Isn’t he funny? He’s the funniest. I love him so much.
Leon, however, is far too concerned for Merlin’s safety to joke around, and tells him it’s far too dangerous out there with the dangerous sorcerer and Saxons lurking around. Merlin assures him he’ll be fine and will just collect the rest of his herbs and be on his way, but Leon grabs his arm and tells him no, so forcefully that I have to take a quick break and cool off. Merlin extricates himself out of Leon’s grip and says he’ll head back to Camelot, and Mordred can’t allow that, either. Aw, they’re all so possessive. Gwaine finally pipes up and tells Merlin that he’s staying with them until the sorcerer is apprehended. AHAHAHA, Merlin’s reaction is priceless. But his fake gratitude and excitement at getting to play with the big boys is enough for Mordred to smile and back off a little.
Morgana’s invisible hounds have picked up Finna’s trail and are barking madly. Actually, when I enquired about the possibility of invisible dogs while the episode aired, magog_83 came up with the very reasonable suggestion that they might, in fact, be a pack of sausage dogs that we just can’t see in the undergrowth. Like little Frankie, here, hunting a kitty.
Definitely having no problems being lost in the grass, Percival has lost Finna’s trail. Gwaine asks if they should split up but Leon says it’s getting dark and they’d be sitting ducks for the Saxons. He’s REALLY worried about the Saxons this week - this is the third time he’s mentioned them. He decides they’ll make camp until dawn.
The knights are all adorably fast asleep, and I love that Leon sleeps sitting up against a tree, probably in case the Saxons attack him in his dreams. Merlin decides to make his escape, pausing when Gwaine must subconsciously react to his BFF leaving him and stirs. But Gwaine settles back down and I’m wondering why Mordred wasn’t snuggled right up against Merlin when…. “Good morning,” Mordred says from behind a tree. Merlin startles. “Though technically, I think it’s still night,” Morded continues, and he’s a little creepy, I’ll be honest.
Merlin: “I was just going for a-“
Mordred: “Relieving yourself?”
Merlin: “Yeah.”
Mordred: “You always put your boots on to do that, do you?”
Merlin: “I don’t like splinters.” Or splashback on my toes.
Mordred: “You weren’t collecting herb, either, were you?”
Merlin: WHA?
Mordred: “You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Merlin. If you’re willing to risk your life, it must be important.”
Merlin: “It is.”
Mordred: “A problem shared…”
Merlin: “…”
Mordred: “I understand.” WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME? “I’ll tell them I escorted you back to the bridge.”
Merlin: “Thank you?” I am totally removing myself from this uncomfortable situation right now.
Mordred: “Merlin?” PLEASE JUST LET ME BE IN YOUR LIFE. “Be careful.”
Mordred knits his brow as he watches Merlin run into the forest and, yeah, the music is creepy and Mordred is a bit creepy but I am just not seeing the big harbinger of doom here. All I see is this:
As Merlin follows the magical breadcrumbs, it appears that the sausage dogs have lost the trail Morgana was following. They are suspiciously quiet now. Luckily for them and their cute little fuzzy necks, Morgana finds one of the magic signs on a tree trunk and her glowy eyes pick up the trail. First the letter and now a trail left in plain sight? Seriously, these people suck at stealth and secrecy.
Merlin catches up with Finna and she is so relieved, she calls him “Master” and goes to kneel again before Merlin stops her. She thought she’d lost Merlin, and he’s all fake offended and asks, “You doubted me?” so adorably. “Never!” Finna answers and Merlin grins and OH GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE AND CAN YOU IMAGINE IF MERLIN WAS ACTUALLY KING? IT WOULD BE THE BEST THING EVER. WHY DIDN’T THEY JUST MAKE HIM KING OF THE MAGIC USERS FOR A SEASON AND ARTHUR WAS STILL KING OF CAMELOT AND THEY EVENTUALLY UNITED THEIR KINGDOMS, PREFERABLY VIA ROYAL WEDDING AND SOME KIND OF SEXUAL RITUAL, AND EVERYTHING WAS GLORIOUS AND MERRY CHRISTMAS TO US ALL. WHHHHHYYYYYY?
The cuteness is interrupted by bad guys charging them from the trees. Merlin blasts a couple back with THAT spell again, but one of them manages to take a shot and Merlin gets an arrow in his side. Finna gets in on the blasting action and gets rid of the last guy, just in time to catch Merlin as he falls. She lies him down and removes the arrow from his side. Using his sword as a walking stick, Merlin lets Finna guide him to a watchtower nearby where they can hide from Morgana.
Oh, the dogs have found their voices again, even if we still haven’t found them. The dead men at Finna’s camp have no wounds and Morgana is all, DUH. She finds some blood on a rock and comes to the conclusion that Finna has been hit.
Merlin and Finna enter the tower and it’s a bit of a struggle up the stairs so they take a break. Merlin asks how Finna knew of the tower. “When you spend a lifetime running, you know all of the places to hide.” She has been running from Arthur and his father before him. “It won’t always be like this,” Merlin tells her. “Things will be better.” I can’t see how at this late stage, but Merlin is delirious with pain so I’ll let him believe what he wants to believe.
“That is why I was sent,” Finna says. “To help you make it so.” The dogs start barking below them, so they continue up into a room at the top of the stairs. It’s okay, guys, I don’t think sausage dogs handle that many stairs very well anyway.
Finna locks the door and Merlin slumps against a barrel, asking why she is helping him. She tells Merlin that without him, Arthur cannot build the world they all long for. She explains that for hundreds of years, the Catha have guarded their knowledge, but now the time has come to pass it on to Emrys. Oh NOW? When we’re just weeks away from the end of everything? NOW you decide to pull your magical fingers out of your collective arses and do something about the prophecy you’ve been sitting on since the dawn of time? Ugh. She tells him that only he can carry their hopes into the great battle, and hands him a box that will help him in the dark days to come. I HOPE FREYA’S IN THAT BOX.
While Morgana and her mates, dog-less, storm the tower, Finna gives Merlin another message from Alator: “Do not make the same mistake as Arthur. Do not trust the druid boy.” ARGH, I refuse to believe that Mordred is evil right now. And the only reason he WILL be Arthur’s doom is because people who can’t even do something as simple as destroy an incriminating letter are following vague, hundred year old prophecies and interpreting which parts can and can’t be changed to suit their story. And by people, I probably mean writers at this point.
They stagger up another flight of stairs to another room and Finna tells Merlin to get to the roof where he will be safe, because Morgana thinks she is alone and won’t look any further. Come to think of it, I don’t know why Morgana assumes this when the letter clearly said Finna had found Emrys, and why the fuck would she leave magical breadcrumbs if she wasn’t leading someone to her, but whatever. Merlin is not okay with Finna sacrificing her life for Merlin’s but she tells him that is her destiny and she could wish for nothing more. Well, except for his sword.
Merlin hands over his sword and says goodbye with his sad, sad eyes. “It has been a privilege to know you, Emrys,” Finna says, and Merlin leaves. While he’s dragging himself out onto the roof, Morgana confronts Finna. She’s all patronising about Finna’s age and then demands Finna tell her who Emrys is. “Never,” Finna says, and impales herself on the sword. It’s enough to shock Morgana, who I don’t think entirely recognises the significance of Emrys, past his effect on her own selfish needs, and I wonder if she will learn before the end. Also, Dude. Merlin might not have many people left to fight for if things continue like this.
As Finna dies, Merlin passes out on the rooftop. Morgana goes back to her waiting doggies and horses and leaves. And as the barking and thundering hooves fade into the distance, Merlin stirs and looks up at the full moon. As far as I can see it, we have three options here:
1. Surprise!Werewolf
2. Merlin and Arthur break into song from their respective castles and we get this.
(Ignore the naked babies screen at the beginning and end, or watch this AMAZING Troy/Abed fanvid instead…
Or, 3. Merlin summons Kilgharrah to help him out.
And, predictably, Merlin croaks out some Dragonlordish and Kilgharrah appears in the sky. Our beloved slash dragon swoops in and picks Merlin up in his claws, carrying him off toward the moon.
Merlin wakes in daylight, completely healed. He thanks Kilgharrah, who says it is his pleasure. Let’s not think about what else the creeper did for his pleasure while Merlin napped. Merlin tells the dragon that for a second there, he thought Kilgharrah wasn’t coming. “I would never forsake you, young warlock,” the dragon says, completely forgetting about the times he tried to flambé Merlin alive. Merlin notices that the dragon is looking a little beat up, and has an injured wing. “I am tired, Emrys, that is all. But I shall serve you as long as I have the strength.” Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
Merlin offers to heal Kilgharrah but apparently there are some things even a warlock as great as he cannot overcome. “I am old, Emrys. My time has almost come.” CRYING. He tells Merlin it is the cycle of life and I am not going to embed a Lion King video because it would be the end of me and I would not be able to continue until after a week of sobbing.
Merlin’s voice cracks as he asks what he will do without Kilgharrah. “You will remember me,” Kilgharrah answers and I AM SOBBING ANYWAY. Merlin asks if he will see his old friend again, but the dragon (wonkily) flies off without answering.
OKAY. Let’s lighten the mood here, hey, Merlin and Gaius? They stare at Finna’s box (er, the box she gave Merlin) from either side of the table, and Merlin nods that Gaius should open it. Inside is a tiny piece of parchment sealed with red wax. Gaius opens it up and translates the contents:
Let loose the hounds of war (the invisible sausage dogs?). Let the dread fire of the last priestess rain down from angry skies. A brother will slaughter brother. A friend will murder friend. As the great horn sounds a cold dawn at Camlann the prophets do not lie. There, Arthur will meet his end upon that mighty plain.
HOW IS THAT IN ANY WAY HELPFUL? ALL IT DOES IS TELL MERLIN HE’S ROYALLY FUCKED AND NOT IN THE WAY WE ALL HOPED WHEN WE SIGNED UP FOR THIS. Also, if any of those knights kill each other, I will be SO FUCKING MAD.
Merlin is crushed. “So many have suffered so that I may hear this,” he says. Gaius says that he thinks he knows what Merlin’s thinking - that his destiny is almost too much for one man to bear. It’s almost too much for this one fangirl to bear, as well. Gaius assures him of one thing: “There was never anyone more capable than you, Merlin. You will not fail.” And as I wish for the return of the cheesy, jokey Gaius/Merlin moments to end each episode, the castle’s alarm bells sound.
Gwaine, Mordred, Leon and some Percival stand-in knight carry a body into Gaius’ chambers, where Percival is already waiting all of a sudden. Why they needed an extra knight, I have no idea. Did he win a competition for a walk-on role? Anyway, they lift the sheet covering the dead knight’s face and…GAH! EC FROM LIFT OFF HAS GROWN UP AND BECOME A DEAD KNIGHT OF CAMELOT.
(This show is responsible for an entire generation of mentally scarred Australian children. That and Mulligrubs which, in some weird parallel, had a face with no body. Don’t ask.)
The knight…has no face. He’s the Slender Man for god’s sake. Is that why there are no children in Camelot? I AM NEVER GOING TO SLEEP AGAIN.
Arthur arrives as Gaius is making his diagnosis - the skin has grown across his face until he suffocated. He tells everyone that it’s not a disease or infection, but a result of powerful magic - an ultimate warning from a high priestess to her enemies. Morgana has declared war.
Next Week: Mordred doesn’t look happy. Merlin leaves a knight behind bars. Mordred has a lady-friend. Mordred is protecting his lady-friend from Arthur. Merlin and Arthur run through the forest together. Mordred’s lady-friend’s got moves. Mordred takes a bit of his anger out on Gwaine and Leon. Gwen looks pissed. Arthur is back to his old execution tricks again. Someone ELSE has escaped from those dungeons? Mordred skulks around the castle. Arthur fights off Mordred’s lady-friend’s murderous advances. Mordred slams Merlin against a wall and threatens him, BESTILL MY BEATING MULTISHIPPER HEART. (Seriously, that was hot. I’m totally tuning in just for that, because everything else just looks like a flimsy excuse to turn Mordred evil and it bothers me.)
(Now I can go back to playing Glitch one last time before it closes forever. I'm gonna miss that game so very much.)
In a land of myth and time of invisible dog armies, Morgana and her latest bunch of men are hunting someone through the forest. There are dogs baying for blood, but they are nowhere to be seen. Ooh, unless the men are the ones barking. Maybe Morgana gave a bunch of stray mutts human form to do her bidding. Or maybe they’re reverse-werewolves under the light of the full moon.
With a nifty bit of glowy-eyed landmine spelling, Morgana eventually runs the guy down and her men hold him captive. Heeeeey, it’s Billy Elliot’s dad again! Last time we saw this guy, he was basically declaring Merlin the king of his people and leaving to start up a Facebook fanpage for Emrys. And it seems that, despite the disappointing final series so far, our friend Alator is still very much a Merlin fanboy and refuses to disclose his identity to Morgana.
As Morgana dreams of all the ways she’s going to torture this guy, the opening credits roll.
We return to another romantic threesome date in the forest. Arthur leads his bride and boyfriend to a lovely clearing filled with the twittering sound of birdsong, and dismounts. He uses some cheesy line about Gwen’s beauty which has Gwen laughing and Merlin snorting, which Arthur totally hears. Merlin blames the noise on his horse, and the horse is all, ‘don’t get me involved in your little flirty games’ as Arthur stalks towards Merlin and informs him that there is a ‘special punishment reserved for such impudence’. Merlin actually looks a bit worried for some reason, even when Arthur’s tone CLEARY indicates that any type of punishment in this instance would result in Merlin having a VERY good time, and then Arthur laughs and pats Merlin’s arm and tells him he’s too easy before returning to Gwen like he didn’t just proposition his manservant in front of his queen.
As Arthur helps unload supplies from Merlin’s horse, who is equally as downtrodden and burdened as his rider and has me wondering if the other horses make fun of him, Merlin and Gwen take the opportunity to gossip. Merlin doesn’t think Arthur has been this happy in a long time and Gwen agrees and says he’s changed. Yeah, agrees Merlin, just as Arthur lobs a water skin directly at his head. As Merlin eyerolls and Gwen laughs, Arthur asks Merlin to catch and throws the next one straight past him, into the trees.
Arthur: “I think my dog can catch better than you.”
Me: Is your dog invisible, too?
Merlin: “Possibly because you treat him better.”
Gwen: BURN.
Playing fetch for Arthur, because a happy Arthur is an attractive Arthur, Merlin notices something on the trunk of a nearby tree. Arthur most decidedly does not want this day ruined and tells Merlin that the markings were made from stags marking their territory. Merlin disagrees, and says that magic was involved. Ooh, magical stags. Is Gwen going to turn into a deer again? But Arthur, expert on everything that involves killing cute woodland creatures, is adamant that the markings were caused by normal, everyday, horny stags. “It’s rutting season,” Arthur says, returning to the picnic blanket. “Come on, your king awaits!” Ah, so THAT’S the reason for the picnic in the woods. It’s rutting season. Unfortunately, we skip all the rutting, because right after Merlin finds a mysterious medallion at the base of the tree, we switch to Camelot, where a bunch of refugees are crowding the courtyard.
Arthur, Merlin (on a completely different horse - maybe the other one wore out) and Gwen (her horse appears to have gotten a perm during the trip) ride up to Leon, who informs them of the situation - the refugees are from over the border in Odin’s lands. Is that near Ealdor? I really wish we could have had an Ealdor episode in the final series, or at least mention of Merlin’s mother. Ugh, so many missed opportunities.
The powers that be (and Merlin) all convene inside so Leon can address them properly. He looks really hot today, and there is a nice bit of lighting in the room, so I rather like this scene. Leon tells them the refugees’ city was attacked with magic, and they suspect Morgana. Arthur sends all the knights out to increase security, and Merlin and Arthur have a little chat with Gwen sitting in the corner watching on. Seriously, now we can see why they gave her the little puppet storyline for a few episodes, even though it served no real purpose to the plot - at least she didn’t have to sit around and be ignored all the damn time. Anyway, Merlin doesn’t think it makes sense for Morgana to attack a city which he says is one of the last places where magic can be used freely.
Gaius inspects the latest prop Merlin found in the forest and says it came from the same magic city Morgana attacked. He suggests that one of the refugees may have dropped it but Merlin is not so sure. He decides to go back and do a bit of forensics around the picnic site. Gauis doesn’t want Merlin to go out alone if Morgana is within Camelot’s borders (hasn’t she been within the borders all month talking to Gwen?) and tells him to take someone with him. Me: GWAINE!!!!! But Merlin reasons that if he DOES run into the big bad Morgana, it’s not going to matter who he takes anyway. I don’t know, Merlin, maybe Gwaine could distract her with a bit of hair-swishing flirting?
Merlin’s old horse seems to have recovered enough to accompany him to the crime scene. There’s a lot of tense music and wandering around in the dark as Merlin follows the clues until he finds an abandoned camp. I hope he takes that poor ownerless horse back to Camelot with him. Let’s just pretend he does, because all we see him return with are some torn pages full of mysterious writing.
Back inside Gaius’ cosy chambers, Merlin sits back with a well-earned beverage and a good book while Gaius goes over the papers and grumbles about Merlin ignoring his advice and going out into possible trap. The writing is in the language of the Catha, which Gaius is a little rusty on, but he deciphers a signature - Alator. This gets Merlin out of his odd casual-ness, especially when Gaius concludes that Morgana must be torturing their good buddy Mr Elliot in order to discover the true identity of Emrys.
Alator, bless him, refuses to betray Emrys, but Morgana has a trick up her sleeve. It’s a snake in a box.
Click to viewApparently this snake has the power to cause unimaginable pain to the victim’s soul. Morgana asks one more time: “Where is Emrys?”
HE’S BEHIND CURTAIN NUMBER ONE. Merlin opens the curtains separating Arthur’s bed from the rest of the room and Arthur pops up out of nowhere on the other side. There is much whispering as Arthur tells Merlin that he is going to surprise Gwen with breakfast in bed. “Oh. What a lovely thought,” Merlin whispers with a winning smile, right before closing the curtains in Arthur’s face. But he can’t get out of it that easy, because when Arthur says that he is going to get breakfast for Gwen, what he means is that MERLIN will get breakfast for Gwen, while Arthur stays behind in case she wakes up and panics at him not being there. Please, it took half a series before we even got confirmation that they even shared a room, I’m sure she’d be fine. And just before Merlin can make it out the door, Arthur reminds him to get flowers as well. “Of course. The personal touch. Nice,” Merlin says. Sarcasm is lost on Arthur Pendragon.
As Merlin skips along just outside the castle gates, collecting a bouquet of wildflowers, a mysterious cloaked (and armed) figure watches him. He’s distracted by the noise of the knights patrolling the forest when the cloaked person, a lady, grabs him from behind a tree. She has a tattoo on her wrist which ISN’T a Derek Hale tattoo. The lady calls him Emrys and says that if he values his king, he will meet her later that night at some nearby temple. Alone.
Merlin returns to Arthur’s chambers with a breakfast tray minus the flowers, which he seems to have forgotten during all the cloak and dagger stuff. Arthur is not impressed, but Gwen wakes before he can threaten any more ‘punishment’ so Arthur takes the tray to her. She thinks it’s a very sweet gesture, and is not surprised to discover Merlin bumbling about outside the curtain. Arthur blusters and berates him for being in the royal chambers, where he has spent most of his life since we’ve known him, but Gwen just smiles and thanks Merlin for the breakfast. “It was my idea,” Arthur says through an embarrassed yet kingly pout.
Having returned to Gaius’, Merlin sketches out an incredibly detailed and accurate picture of the tattoo on the mystery lady’s wrist. Gaius says it looks like the mark of…I don’t know, some order of high priestesses that are taken at birth and raised as something. I’m distracted because Merlin has the end of the pencil in his mouth (and also becauset he HAS a pencil) and is leaning over the table, resting his chin on his folded arms, and he just looks so incredibly pretty. Dear god, THAT MOUTH. Gaius tells Merlin that this lady could be dangerous, given that she is practiced in very potent magic, but Merlin says that she told him Arthur’s enemies were closer than he thought, and concluded that she was talking about Mordred. Because everything is about Mordred these days, according to Merlin. He’s kind of obsessed. Gaius thinks she’s using this obsession to trap Merlin, and that the only explanation for this lady knowing Merlin’s identity is that Alator must have already told Morgana. OH. So what about the hundreds of druids and various magical people we have met over the last five series who all knew about the Merlin/Emrys connection? THIS MAKES NO SENSE. I get that they’re trying to shoehorn in some conflict between Gaius and Merlin, but this is freaking ridiculous.
So Gaius goes on about his stupid, illogical conclusion, Merlin continues with his Mordred obsession, and I get a bit annoyed. Gaius reveals that the reason he’s so touchy about this is because he was the one who revealed Merlin’s identity to Alator after being tortured, and pleads for Merlin to listen to him. “You know I’d never to do anything to hurt you, Gaius,” Merlin lies. “BZZZT” says Gaius’ internal lie detector.
The cloaked lady hangs out in some atmospheric ruins while she waits for Merlin. To pass the time, she shoots off a quick r-mail. We can’t understand the language as she instructs the raven, but it includes the name, Morgana Pendragon. That raven is almost a regular cast member these days. I’m going to name him Inky from now on. We get a nice exit shot of Inky flying through the arches of the ruin.
Meanwhile, Gaius pays a visit to Arthur, rambling on about doctor-patient confidentiality for a bit. He eventually reveals that he has heard of a follower of the Old Religion within the walls of Camelot, who poses a threat to the kingdom and Arthur, himself. He gives away the time and location of the woman’s magical practices and Arthur takes it from there. Congratulations, Gaius, you just instigated a good old-fashioned witch hunt.
In the armoury, things are much more light-hearted, as Modred, Percival and Leon play piggy in the middle with Gwaine’s helmet. Gwaine is not amused and they pass it back and forth over his head, and neither is Merlin, who is hanging their red capes in the background. Does he do their laundry, too? No wonder there are 50 shades of red amongst them. The knights don’t notice Arthur entering until he catches the helmet mid-air, and they all drop their heads like scolded puppies.
Percival tries to come up with an excuse which involves some adorable stammering but Arthur cuts him off. He smiles at Gwaine and holds the helmet out to him…then quickly throws it to Percival. Hee! While there are relieved chuckles all ‘round, Arthur takes Mordred aside to give him a secret task. Merlin is concerned.
In an attempt to alleviate his guilt, Gaius cooks Merlin’s favourite dinner (which looks like porridge) and serves it up. He notices Merlin doesn’t have much of an appetite and tells him that ignoring the woman in the forest is for the best. Later, Merlin doesn’t feel good about it, but he sneaks out anyway. He even has to sneak past actual guards at the gate.
When Merlin arrives at the ruins, the woman kneels before him and calls him “Great One” so I like her already. Merlin is full of modesty and asks how she knows his name. She tells him that her master, Alator, told her, and along with a general hi, also sends a warning: “The great battle nears. The fate of Camelot rests in the balance. Only you, Great Emrys, can insure the triumph of the Once and Future King.”
And of course, just when she’s about to tell Merlin HOW he can do this, Mordred and his witch hunting party show up. Merlin and the lady make a run for it. Even though she doesn’t want to leave Merlin, he tells the lady to go on ahead and promises to meet up with her after losing the knights. All it takes is a quick spell to send someone, possibly Percival, flying, and then hold them all off with a wall of fire. It’s pretty impressive.
Inky arrives at the castle, and it seems the recipient of the lady’s r-mail is Alator. Do not fear Alator, I have found Emrys. Our sacred mission continues. Your faithfull (sorry, spellcheck, that’s what it says in the letter) servant, Finna. Oh, she has a name! Now quickly, Alator, tear that message up and eat the little pieces. Nobody who has survived being hunted throughout the five kingdoms for all these years would be stupid enough to leave it lying around, right? RIGHT?
Back in Camelot, Arthur is most displeased at the outcome of his new puppy’s mission. He seems to have made friends with sarcasm when Leon clarifies that they weren’t just up against one old woman - there were two of them. “Oh, well, THAT explains it!” Heh. Merlin allows himself to be a tiny bit smug when Mordred tells Arthur that they couldn’t see who the second person was. Arthur sends them out to, again, increase security. Hey, he’s learning.
And if you thought Mordred was getting a slightly over the top scolding, it has nothing on what Merlin must have just given Gaius. Gaius is quiet and apologetic and tries to make his excuses for dobbing on Finna, saying he was just worried about Merlin. Merlin informs him that Finna was working for Alator, not Morgana, and Gaius asks how he was to know that. Um, LOGIC? “Because I told you,” Merlin says, fully packed and on his way out the door again. I cheer. Gaius says it’s all his fault for acting like a foolish man, and Merlin stops and says he’s never that. AHEM. Merlin gives him a hug and heads out to find Finna.
Alator, meanwhile, still hasn’t broken. He tells Morgana how futile her efforts are and that she will never find Emrys. “He is your destiny, Morgana. And he is your doom.” Her responding slapfest is interrupted by one of her men, who has found the letter in Alator’s cell. ALSDJFGOHOHGW JOWGHOPHGR HOW STUPID ARE THESE PEOPLE? Even Morgana is embarrassed on his behalf. She sends someone out to find Finna, promises Alator that she will break Finna like a twig, rubs his nose in it for a bit, then promptly snaps his neck with nothing but a glow of her eyes and nod of the head. Seriously, why the hell does Morgana use that stupid repetitive flying through the air spell when she can just DO THAT? And as Morgana takes a seat on her throne of evil, let’s all take a moment to remember Alator. RIP, Billy Elliot’s dad. You were loyal and we liked you, but you were also an imbecile at the end. May you learn from this in your next life.
Finna dodges patrolling knights as she walks through the forest, leaving magical tree-scarring breadcrumbs as she goes. Merlin follows them until he is stopped by a sword at his neck. Eek! The camera pans back, and it’s Percival with an elegantly raised eyebrow. Hee.
“Herbs?” Leon asks, when Merlin has later joined all the knights in the forest. “You were looking for herbs?” Merlin explains that Gaius needs them fresh or they’re not as effective. I’m just wondering why, during all those years of prosperity, someone didn’t set up a little herb garden for Gaius within the castle walls. See also: flowerbed for the Queen. Percival doesn’t think it’s the right time and place to be out gathering herbs.
Merlin: Well you were grateful enough for them when Gaius cured you of your palsy.”
Everyone: *stops and looks at Percival*
Percival: “It wasn’t palsy.”
Merlin: “I was being polite.”
Mordred: *laughs* Merlin is funny, guys. Isn’t he funny? He’s the funniest. I love him so much.
Leon, however, is far too concerned for Merlin’s safety to joke around, and tells him it’s far too dangerous out there with the dangerous sorcerer and Saxons lurking around. Merlin assures him he’ll be fine and will just collect the rest of his herbs and be on his way, but Leon grabs his arm and tells him no, so forcefully that I have to take a quick break and cool off. Merlin extricates himself out of Leon’s grip and says he’ll head back to Camelot, and Mordred can’t allow that, either. Aw, they’re all so possessive. Gwaine finally pipes up and tells Merlin that he’s staying with them until the sorcerer is apprehended. AHAHAHA, Merlin’s reaction is priceless. But his fake gratitude and excitement at getting to play with the big boys is enough for Mordred to smile and back off a little.
Morgana’s invisible hounds have picked up Finna’s trail and are barking madly. Actually, when I enquired about the possibility of invisible dogs while the episode aired, magog_83 came up with the very reasonable suggestion that they might, in fact, be a pack of sausage dogs that we just can’t see in the undergrowth. Like little Frankie, here, hunting a kitty.
Definitely having no problems being lost in the grass, Percival has lost Finna’s trail. Gwaine asks if they should split up but Leon says it’s getting dark and they’d be sitting ducks for the Saxons. He’s REALLY worried about the Saxons this week - this is the third time he’s mentioned them. He decides they’ll make camp until dawn.
The knights are all adorably fast asleep, and I love that Leon sleeps sitting up against a tree, probably in case the Saxons attack him in his dreams. Merlin decides to make his escape, pausing when Gwaine must subconsciously react to his BFF leaving him and stirs. But Gwaine settles back down and I’m wondering why Mordred wasn’t snuggled right up against Merlin when…. “Good morning,” Mordred says from behind a tree. Merlin startles. “Though technically, I think it’s still night,” Morded continues, and he’s a little creepy, I’ll be honest.
Merlin: “I was just going for a-“
Mordred: “Relieving yourself?”
Merlin: “Yeah.”
Mordred: “You always put your boots on to do that, do you?”
Merlin: “I don’t like splinters.” Or splashback on my toes.
Mordred: “You weren’t collecting herb, either, were you?”
Merlin: WHA?
Mordred: “You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Merlin. If you’re willing to risk your life, it must be important.”
Merlin: “It is.”
Mordred: “A problem shared…”
Merlin: “…”
Mordred: “I understand.” WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME? “I’ll tell them I escorted you back to the bridge.”
Merlin: “Thank you?” I am totally removing myself from this uncomfortable situation right now.
Mordred: “Merlin?” PLEASE JUST LET ME BE IN YOUR LIFE. “Be careful.”
Mordred knits his brow as he watches Merlin run into the forest and, yeah, the music is creepy and Mordred is a bit creepy but I am just not seeing the big harbinger of doom here. All I see is this:
As Merlin follows the magical breadcrumbs, it appears that the sausage dogs have lost the trail Morgana was following. They are suspiciously quiet now. Luckily for them and their cute little fuzzy necks, Morgana finds one of the magic signs on a tree trunk and her glowy eyes pick up the trail. First the letter and now a trail left in plain sight? Seriously, these people suck at stealth and secrecy.
Merlin catches up with Finna and she is so relieved, she calls him “Master” and goes to kneel again before Merlin stops her. She thought she’d lost Merlin, and he’s all fake offended and asks, “You doubted me?” so adorably. “Never!” Finna answers and Merlin grins and OH GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE AND CAN YOU IMAGINE IF MERLIN WAS ACTUALLY KING? IT WOULD BE THE BEST THING EVER. WHY DIDN’T THEY JUST MAKE HIM KING OF THE MAGIC USERS FOR A SEASON AND ARTHUR WAS STILL KING OF CAMELOT AND THEY EVENTUALLY UNITED THEIR KINGDOMS, PREFERABLY VIA ROYAL WEDDING AND SOME KIND OF SEXUAL RITUAL, AND EVERYTHING WAS GLORIOUS AND MERRY CHRISTMAS TO US ALL. WHHHHHYYYYYY?
The cuteness is interrupted by bad guys charging them from the trees. Merlin blasts a couple back with THAT spell again, but one of them manages to take a shot and Merlin gets an arrow in his side. Finna gets in on the blasting action and gets rid of the last guy, just in time to catch Merlin as he falls. She lies him down and removes the arrow from his side. Using his sword as a walking stick, Merlin lets Finna guide him to a watchtower nearby where they can hide from Morgana.
Oh, the dogs have found their voices again, even if we still haven’t found them. The dead men at Finna’s camp have no wounds and Morgana is all, DUH. She finds some blood on a rock and comes to the conclusion that Finna has been hit.
Merlin and Finna enter the tower and it’s a bit of a struggle up the stairs so they take a break. Merlin asks how Finna knew of the tower. “When you spend a lifetime running, you know all of the places to hide.” She has been running from Arthur and his father before him. “It won’t always be like this,” Merlin tells her. “Things will be better.” I can’t see how at this late stage, but Merlin is delirious with pain so I’ll let him believe what he wants to believe.
“That is why I was sent,” Finna says. “To help you make it so.” The dogs start barking below them, so they continue up into a room at the top of the stairs. It’s okay, guys, I don’t think sausage dogs handle that many stairs very well anyway.
Finna locks the door and Merlin slumps against a barrel, asking why she is helping him. She tells Merlin that without him, Arthur cannot build the world they all long for. She explains that for hundreds of years, the Catha have guarded their knowledge, but now the time has come to pass it on to Emrys. Oh NOW? When we’re just weeks away from the end of everything? NOW you decide to pull your magical fingers out of your collective arses and do something about the prophecy you’ve been sitting on since the dawn of time? Ugh. She tells him that only he can carry their hopes into the great battle, and hands him a box that will help him in the dark days to come. I HOPE FREYA’S IN THAT BOX.
While Morgana and her mates, dog-less, storm the tower, Finna gives Merlin another message from Alator: “Do not make the same mistake as Arthur. Do not trust the druid boy.” ARGH, I refuse to believe that Mordred is evil right now. And the only reason he WILL be Arthur’s doom is because people who can’t even do something as simple as destroy an incriminating letter are following vague, hundred year old prophecies and interpreting which parts can and can’t be changed to suit their story. And by people, I probably mean writers at this point.
They stagger up another flight of stairs to another room and Finna tells Merlin to get to the roof where he will be safe, because Morgana thinks she is alone and won’t look any further. Come to think of it, I don’t know why Morgana assumes this when the letter clearly said Finna had found Emrys, and why the fuck would she leave magical breadcrumbs if she wasn’t leading someone to her, but whatever. Merlin is not okay with Finna sacrificing her life for Merlin’s but she tells him that is her destiny and she could wish for nothing more. Well, except for his sword.
Merlin hands over his sword and says goodbye with his sad, sad eyes. “It has been a privilege to know you, Emrys,” Finna says, and Merlin leaves. While he’s dragging himself out onto the roof, Morgana confronts Finna. She’s all patronising about Finna’s age and then demands Finna tell her who Emrys is. “Never,” Finna says, and impales herself on the sword. It’s enough to shock Morgana, who I don’t think entirely recognises the significance of Emrys, past his effect on her own selfish needs, and I wonder if she will learn before the end. Also, Dude. Merlin might not have many people left to fight for if things continue like this.
As Finna dies, Merlin passes out on the rooftop. Morgana goes back to her waiting doggies and horses and leaves. And as the barking and thundering hooves fade into the distance, Merlin stirs and looks up at the full moon. As far as I can see it, we have three options here:
1. Surprise!Werewolf
2. Merlin and Arthur break into song from their respective castles and we get this.
(Ignore the naked babies screen at the beginning and end, or watch this AMAZING Troy/Abed fanvid instead…
Or, 3. Merlin summons Kilgharrah to help him out.
And, predictably, Merlin croaks out some Dragonlordish and Kilgharrah appears in the sky. Our beloved slash dragon swoops in and picks Merlin up in his claws, carrying him off toward the moon.
Merlin wakes in daylight, completely healed. He thanks Kilgharrah, who says it is his pleasure. Let’s not think about what else the creeper did for his pleasure while Merlin napped. Merlin tells the dragon that for a second there, he thought Kilgharrah wasn’t coming. “I would never forsake you, young warlock,” the dragon says, completely forgetting about the times he tried to flambé Merlin alive. Merlin notices that the dragon is looking a little beat up, and has an injured wing. “I am tired, Emrys, that is all. But I shall serve you as long as I have the strength.” Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
Merlin offers to heal Kilgharrah but apparently there are some things even a warlock as great as he cannot overcome. “I am old, Emrys. My time has almost come.” CRYING. He tells Merlin it is the cycle of life and I am not going to embed a Lion King video because it would be the end of me and I would not be able to continue until after a week of sobbing.
Merlin’s voice cracks as he asks what he will do without Kilgharrah. “You will remember me,” Kilgharrah answers and I AM SOBBING ANYWAY. Merlin asks if he will see his old friend again, but the dragon (wonkily) flies off without answering.
OKAY. Let’s lighten the mood here, hey, Merlin and Gaius? They stare at Finna’s box (er, the box she gave Merlin) from either side of the table, and Merlin nods that Gaius should open it. Inside is a tiny piece of parchment sealed with red wax. Gaius opens it up and translates the contents:
Let loose the hounds of war (the invisible sausage dogs?). Let the dread fire of the last priestess rain down from angry skies. A brother will slaughter brother. A friend will murder friend. As the great horn sounds a cold dawn at Camlann the prophets do not lie. There, Arthur will meet his end upon that mighty plain.
HOW IS THAT IN ANY WAY HELPFUL? ALL IT DOES IS TELL MERLIN HE’S ROYALLY FUCKED AND NOT IN THE WAY WE ALL HOPED WHEN WE SIGNED UP FOR THIS. Also, if any of those knights kill each other, I will be SO FUCKING MAD.
Merlin is crushed. “So many have suffered so that I may hear this,” he says. Gaius says that he thinks he knows what Merlin’s thinking - that his destiny is almost too much for one man to bear. It’s almost too much for this one fangirl to bear, as well. Gaius assures him of one thing: “There was never anyone more capable than you, Merlin. You will not fail.” And as I wish for the return of the cheesy, jokey Gaius/Merlin moments to end each episode, the castle’s alarm bells sound.
Gwaine, Mordred, Leon and some Percival stand-in knight carry a body into Gaius’ chambers, where Percival is already waiting all of a sudden. Why they needed an extra knight, I have no idea. Did he win a competition for a walk-on role? Anyway, they lift the sheet covering the dead knight’s face and…GAH! EC FROM LIFT OFF HAS GROWN UP AND BECOME A DEAD KNIGHT OF CAMELOT.
(This show is responsible for an entire generation of mentally scarred Australian children. That and Mulligrubs which, in some weird parallel, had a face with no body. Don’t ask.)
The knight…has no face. He’s the Slender Man for god’s sake. Is that why there are no children in Camelot? I AM NEVER GOING TO SLEEP AGAIN.
Arthur arrives as Gaius is making his diagnosis - the skin has grown across his face until he suffocated. He tells everyone that it’s not a disease or infection, but a result of powerful magic - an ultimate warning from a high priestess to her enemies. Morgana has declared war.
Next Week: Mordred doesn’t look happy. Merlin leaves a knight behind bars. Mordred has a lady-friend. Mordred is protecting his lady-friend from Arthur. Merlin and Arthur run through the forest together. Mordred’s lady-friend’s got moves. Mordred takes a bit of his anger out on Gwaine and Leon. Gwen looks pissed. Arthur is back to his old execution tricks again. Someone ELSE has escaped from those dungeons? Mordred skulks around the castle. Arthur fights off Mordred’s lady-friend’s murderous advances. Mordred slams Merlin against a wall and threatens him, BESTILL MY BEATING MULTISHIPPER HEART. (Seriously, that was hot. I’m totally tuning in just for that, because everything else just looks like a flimsy excuse to turn Mordred evil and it bothers me.)
(Now I can go back to playing Glitch one last time before it closes forever. I'm gonna miss that game so very much.)