fic: Touch

[dior_anghel]

Another Gippalai drabble.

Not entirely worksafe - contains no explicit sex, but it's definitely suggestive.

Written for one of the 100 prompts I have gathered from all over LJ and compiled into a table. I have decided to write these one hundred drabbles, each in under fifteen minutes. So far I'm having a lot of fun. This was written for (surprise!) '

Comments

[darklucia]

Thank you for writing so much Gippal/Baralai recently. I really enjoy it. I especially like the way you portray Baralai...I haven't played the game in so long but I'd like to imagine he is just like you make him :)

[dior_anghel]

Thank you! I love writing these two, so I definitely won't be stopping anytime soon. I'm glad you like Baralai - he can be tricky at times.

Thanks again. =)

[iamleaper]

Mm, tied up Baralai... in silk and laughing. I love how you portray them as slightly awkward and clumsy, which is just exactly how I picture them. And I could just imagine Gippal proposing this idea trying to be all macho and yet a little bit shy about it... great!

The only issue I have is with wording. The word "it" in "t glides against his wrists as he arches into the hands trailing up his sides like butterfly wings" -- I didn't know what "it" was when I read that and I had to go back and look. Also, for some reason, "The silk slides" I thought was an entire noun phrase, i.e. "slides" as a noun. Maybe if you said "is sliding"?

[dior_anghel]

"And I could just imagine Gippal proposing this idea trying to be all macho and yet a little bit shy about it..." Yeah, that's pretty much how it went down in my head. ^^ I'm glad you liked it.

Regarding the 'it' issue, I can see how it might be confusing but I don't know how to reword it since using 'silk' again would seem kind of repetitive. Any ideas?

I'll take your suggestion on the 'slides' thing.

Thanks for the comment! =)

[iamleaper]

You could say "the restraints" or reword it like "He felt the binds pull at his wrists as he arched into..." blah blah, or even just describe the fabric like "The fabric was cool on his wrists as he..."

I'm always wary of those rogue "it"s!

=)

[tikkuy]

Wow.
This story is beyond kinky. The thought of Baralai tied up in silk would normally make me laugh, but you managed to pull it off so well! I love the fact that even while performing an act so sensual the couple have time to laugh about it.
Nice.

[dior_anghel]

Thank you. =)

I think unless you're really into kink (which I think most of us would agree Baralai and Gippal are not), you shouldn't take yourself too seriously when doing something like this or you might start thinking about the vulnerability of it all, which can make some people nervous. Although I don't speak from experience, I think it would definitely make me nervous!

I'm pleased you like it. =D